What's on their answering machines....?

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this is an old joke one. forget where i first heard it but it so fits.
Doc Robbins machine
"City morgue, you stab, we slab them" beeeeeep
 
Greg: I'm exhausted, the phone is far away...leave me a message....*beep*

heard it on gilmore girls....used to have it on my cell...
 
GREG: we will we will call you back we will we will call you back, huh yeah nick it is from friends, well if you can think of a better one *BEEP*

NICK: this is tobey miguire show me the messege show me the messege, what was that, i know greg it is from the simpsons but i hate the shi *BEEP*
 
Sara: "Can't...come...to...phone...
busy...listening...to...scanner...
or...getting...to...attached...
to...vic...leave...*BEEP*"

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~Edited: To unstretch screen~
 
Doc" "**whispers** I see dead people....**normal voice** But seriously i do!! You fool!! I work in a morgue!! HAHA How else would i see dead people?? I'm not like Haley Joel Osment from the '6th Sense'!! Gosh...people today....honestly look up Medical Examiner in the dictionary!"<BEEEEP>
 
PEP Counseller: "Hello, this is ___, the PEP counseller for the Police Department and CSI Department in Las Vegas, Nevada.
If you need to talk, press 0 after the beep.
If you need help not-un-becoming-an-alcholic, press 1.
If you need to talk about that shooting yesterday, press 2. If you want to ask me about getting a pay raise, or giving one, press 4.
If you are angry as hell, take a hammer and smash the number 5 as much as possible before this message ends.
It won't help, but it'll make you feel better.
If this is Cassandera, call my cell."

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I know, sad guys, but I can't think right now, I'm too tired. The idea of this is fun though, feel free to expirement. :D NO such thing as copyright for me.
 
Hey, you've reached Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom's number. Leave a message after the beep. We're off doing our favorite thing tonight, so we might be gone a while. I love going up and down, and Gil likes it side to side... real slow. So, after we're done brushing our teeth, we'll get back to you. *beep*

Haha. Not original, I got it from a site a long time ago.
 
Hollis said:
Hey, you've reached Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom's number. Leave a message after the beep. We're off doing our favorite thing tonight, so we might be gone a while. I love going up and down, and Gil likes it side to side... real slow. So, after we're done brushing our teeth, we'll get back to you. *beep*

Haha. Not original, I got it from a site a long time ago.
Click to expand...

I thought you were going to say riding roller coasters.
 
greg: congratulations, you have reached the number you most recently dialed. Leave a message. *beep*

or....

greg: i used to want to be big and important, but then one day i realized that the world needs less people who are big and important and more people who will leave a message after the beep! *beep*

and then....

brass: please leave a message. however, you have the right to remain silent....everything you say will be recorded and will be used by me....
 
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