assumenothing
Rookie
I never really realized how many people share the same kind of fears and everything I do. I keep most of my really bad fears to myself because I'm afraid anyone I tell will see me as weak or something. But I suppose you can be both strong and afraid... Anyway, some of my secrets:
- Well, first of all, it's extremely hard for me to be away from my parents. I'm fifteen, and yet, the older I get, the more I cling to my parents. I worry that they won't be okay if I'm not there. Everyone tells me that my parents can take care of themselves, because they take care of themselves and my sister and I every day, but I think that they'll fall apart if I'm not there. I went on a trip recently for four days and I wasn't worried about the plane or being on my own, I was worried that I would come back home and my parents and my sister and the rest of my family would be dead or gone or messed up. I told my friend and she told me that thatt was a weird thing to worry about and that I should forget it. Finally, I did manage to, and when I came back home my little dog had died. So now I'm extremely worried to leave for camp because something bad did happen while I was away.
- Another thing is that I can't stand parties. I have a really, really hard time talking to people my own age because I feel like they always look at me and see a very blah person and often don't understand what I'm saying because I'm used to talking like an adult. Parties just amplify this- I don't dance, I don't like loud noises, I don't really play games, and I'm not good at making friends. So I pretty much avoid them at all costs unless it's a small party with only my friends who I'm comfortable with. Sometimes I go if another friend is going, but that's it.
- I also am very paranoid. My parents had to get me thick dark black drapes for my room because I constantly felt like someone was watching me, even though my bedroom doesn't face the street. I even have a hard time lying on my side at night because I'm convinced someone will attack me from behind.
- And last, like a lot of people have said, I'm pretty much OCD. It's never really been confirmed, but I read books about it and all I can think of is how I'm pretty much exactly that way. I have a lot of anxiety and must have things a certain way and run on an exact schedule. All my pencils must face the same direction, everything must be organized the way I need it. Even when I just miss my bus or are late to school, I freak out and can't even move because I'm having a panic attack. I especially hate it when people think it's funny to mess up my system- one girl kept on playing with my pencils last year and I couldn't get my work done because I was fixing them. I'm just really glad that other people feel the same way about this stuff!
- Well, first of all, it's extremely hard for me to be away from my parents. I'm fifteen, and yet, the older I get, the more I cling to my parents. I worry that they won't be okay if I'm not there. Everyone tells me that my parents can take care of themselves, because they take care of themselves and my sister and I every day, but I think that they'll fall apart if I'm not there. I went on a trip recently for four days and I wasn't worried about the plane or being on my own, I was worried that I would come back home and my parents and my sister and the rest of my family would be dead or gone or messed up. I told my friend and she told me that thatt was a weird thing to worry about and that I should forget it. Finally, I did manage to, and when I came back home my little dog had died. So now I'm extremely worried to leave for camp because something bad did happen while I was away.
- Another thing is that I can't stand parties. I have a really, really hard time talking to people my own age because I feel like they always look at me and see a very blah person and often don't understand what I'm saying because I'm used to talking like an adult. Parties just amplify this- I don't dance, I don't like loud noises, I don't really play games, and I'm not good at making friends. So I pretty much avoid them at all costs unless it's a small party with only my friends who I'm comfortable with. Sometimes I go if another friend is going, but that's it.
- I also am very paranoid. My parents had to get me thick dark black drapes for my room because I constantly felt like someone was watching me, even though my bedroom doesn't face the street. I even have a hard time lying on my side at night because I'm convinced someone will attack me from behind.
- And last, like a lot of people have said, I'm pretty much OCD. It's never really been confirmed, but I read books about it and all I can think of is how I'm pretty much exactly that way. I have a lot of anxiety and must have things a certain way and run on an exact schedule. All my pencils must face the same direction, everything must be organized the way I need it. Even when I just miss my bus or are late to school, I freak out and can't even move because I'm having a panic attack. I especially hate it when people think it's funny to mess up my system- one girl kept on playing with my pencils last year and I couldn't get my work done because I was fixing them. I'm just really glad that other people feel the same way about this stuff!
So what real pisses me in this is that I have difficulties in making new friends just because I can't act with them as I normally do, so they must get the wrong impression 
