"The Road I'm On" Miami fic

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by HoratioAndMe, Sep 15, 2005.

  1. HoratioAndMe

    HoratioAndMe Captain

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    I wanna be inside your heaven
    Take me to the place you cry from
    When the storm blows your way
    I wanna be the earth that holds you
    Every bit of air you’re breathing in
    A soothing wind
    I wanna be inside your heaven...





    Yelina has been watching the men talk from the screen door that lead to the backyard. She can only see Raymond’s face; Horatio’s back is to her. She can’t hear exactly what they’re saying, only the raising and lowering of tone and pitch. Things have already gone better than she had expected. At least no punches had been thrown yet.

    Horatio had always had a way with dealing with Raymond that she couldn’t pretend to understand. She didn’t think she could ever have that close of a relationship with him. That was one thing the two brothers had in common: that wall built up around them.

    “Mommy?” says a small voice.

    Yelina looks down to see her son tugging on her skirt hem. He has not even reached three feet yet and she thinks he is too skinny. Only a few days before she had expressed her concerns about him to Horatio.

    “He’ll be fine. He’s only three. He’ll grow,” Horatio had laughed.

    Now she lifts Ray Jr,. into her arms and placing him on her hip. It amazes her how much this toddler resembles the two men out in the yard.

    “Did we wake you sweetie?” she asks.

    Yelina attempts to adjust his disarranged hair with her fingers as the boy rubs his eyes with his balled up fists. She thinks that he needs to get his hair trimmed. It hadn’t been cut since Horatio cut it at the beginning of the summer.

    “I heard Daddy,” the boy yawns.

    Yelina is surprised that he still remembers who his father is. It’d been weeks since they’d been together. Even when Raymond had called, that one time, he hadn’t asked to speak with his son.

    “Daddy’s in the backyard with Uncle Horatio right now. See?” Yelina says, pointing out to where the man stood.

    The little boys face beams and Yelina knows that his father is just going to disappoint him again. Ray Jr,. was just setting himself up for another let down.

    ****

    “I can’t even leave for a few days without you trying to steal my family out from under me,” Raymond is saying.

    Horatio can’t believe his ears. Didn’t his brother know how long he’d been away this time? Did he not care enough to even remember that?

    “I think you mean weeks? You were gone for weeks,” Horatio starts. “Yelina didn’t even know if you were alive.”

    Raymond stares blankly at him. He doesn’t like his brother invading his territory. Everything is always like this. He makes a choice and big brother comes along to give his judgement. It seems, to him, that Horatio only wants to criticize his decisions.

    “Listen, if I wanted your opinion I’d ask. Alright?” Raymond says angrily.

    Horatio steps a foot closer and raises his hands to his hips. What was it going to take to get some sense into his younger brother? He didn’t realize how much his actions were affecting his wife and child.

    “Raymond, you have a family here,” Horatio begins.

    Raymond scoffs.

    “Yelina understands what I’m doing and so should. Both of you are cops. Sometimes you just have to sacrafice,” Raymond tries to explain.

    Horatio nods quickly.

    “I do understand that, I do,” Horatio agrees. “But sometimes you need to sacrafice on the other end. Quit narcotics, come work at the Crime Lab.”

    Raymond gives a small laugh.

    “And do what? I’m not you Horatio. I can’t take that kind of job and I’m sure as hell not going back to being on patrol. I’m making good money where I’m at,” Raymond argues.

    Horatio sighs and looks at his feet for a moment.

    “You’re distancing yourself from your family, Raymond. They need you here,” Horatio spoke slowly.

    Raymond was getting annoyed with all of this.

    “We’re fine, Horatio. Yelina and I will work things out. Stop trying to make everyone else miserable just because you are,” Raymond frowns.

    Horatio sighs. Behind him Yelina steps out onto the porch with Ray Jr,. She watches them for a moment before walking over.

    “I want you to stay away from my family, Horatio,” Raymond sums up.

    Yelina hears this steps between the two.

    “Raymond stop this,” Yelina says.

    Raymond looks past her at Horatio.

    “I have,” he nods.

    Horatio doesn’t say anything and Raymond starts to walk away.

    “Horatio is your brother. I won’t let you do this,” Yelina says, setting the boy down.

    Raymond turns with a slight sneer on his face and walks back to her. Yelina stands her ground. Below them, Ray Jr,. is stretching his arms out to his father. The boy goes unoticed by him.

    “You want him take him,” Raymond smiles.

    Yelina blinks several times and Raymond turns to leave again.

    “There you go! The part of you we always see, the back!” Yelina calls after him.

    Yelina follows her husband into the house.

    Horatio lifts Ray Jr,. and hurries inside himself. He needed to be there to keep his brother at bay. Raymond was clearly upset and there was no telling what his wild temper might get him.

    “It’s okay, buddy,” Horatio speaks soothingly to the boy. “Everything’s okay.”
     
  2. CHILI_PEPPERS

    CHILI_PEPPERS Pathologist

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    AHHH POOR RAY JR and poor horatio all he wants to do is look after his family “There you go! The part of you we always see, the back!” i loved that cant wait for more well done!!
     
  3. Leannethemouse

    Leannethemouse CSI Level Three

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    wow i have loving the flashbacks you are very creative :D
    Please continue
     
  4. HoratioAndMe

    HoratioAndMe Captain

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    Re: Horatio & Yelina fic

    feel so safe,
    here in your arms
    There aint no place I'd rather be
    Keep my heart right
    here safe from harm
    Don't ever take your love
    from me...





    Raymond storms into the living room searching his pockets for the keys to his car. He needs to get away again. There is too much pressure here and it didn’t go well with him. Horatio had been giving Yelina ideas and now they were both ganging up on him. He needs room to breath.

    “What are you doing?” Yelina asks, entering.

    Raymond continues to pat and search his pockets. She was so full of questions today. What was wrong with her? Maybe he had been gone too long. She had become so much more independent.

    “Looking for my keys. I’ve need to go,” he explains.

    Yelina nods and runs a hand through her hair. Behind her Horatio enters with Ray Jr,. and sets him down in a chair with his teddy bear.

    “Fine,” she nods.

    Horatio whispers something to Ray Jr,. and the boy gives him a loud kiss on the cheek. Yelina glances at them and gives a small smile.
    She then walks to the sofa and picks up Raymond’s jacket and easily finds the keys in his left pocket. It is where he always puts them but never remembers that he did. He is so much more unorganized than his brother. Here she, once again, comparing the two.

    “Yelina, I—,” Raymond begins as she drops the keys in his hand. “I’m coming back.”

    She nods her head stubbornly. Horatio knows how much emotion she is going through and wishes there is something he could do.

    “Fine. Besides, we’re use to waiting for you,” Yelina speaks coldly.

    Raymond looks sadly at the keys in his hands and debates whether or not he should go. He glances at his son, his brother and then his wife. It is stunning how well the three fit together. Maybe fate had thrown Yelina and Ray Jr,. a raw deal.

    Horatio leans over the boy.

    “Go give your Dad a hug, buddy,” Horatio whispers.

    Ray Jr,. crawls out of the chair and runs to his father. Horatio knows that the 3-year-old wanted to in the first place but was startled by the raised voices.

    Raymond is surprised when his son wraps his arms around his legs and leans down to pick him. Yelina looks tearfully away. She thinks about what their life could’ve been had Raymond been the way he needed to be. Things didn’t always go as expected and that hurt. Her husband embraces the boy for a moment, whispers in his ear, and sets him back down. He then turns and leaves. Again.

    ******


    Horatio sits with Yelina on the front steps while Ray Jr,. plays on the walkway in front of them. It is nearly sunset and still no sign of Raymond. There was no telling where he had gone and Yelina was refusing to call him.

    “You don’t have to stay, Horatio,” Yelina says, watching Ray Jr,. place handfuls of rocks in the back of his toy dumptruck.

    Horatio looks at his hands for a moment. He feels he needs to be there for her. She is going through so much emotional stress he doesn’t want her to face it alone. Even if she never loves him back he still wants to be there for her.

    “I know,” he nods tilting his head and giving her a smile. “But there’s no place I’d rather be.”

    Yelina gives him a genuine smile and a sideways glance. She thinks of how privileged she is to have him in her life. Whenever she needs someone he is always there—whether she believed she needs him or not.

    “Thank-you, Horatio,” she nods. “For staying with us all day, I mean.”

    Horatio studies her face for a moment. Tears are glinting in her eyes as she looks at him. He wonders whether she is thinking about Raymond or is grateful for his help.

    “Anytime,” he sighs.

    Yelina and Horatio keep eye contact for a long moment before she breaks it. She is married to his brother. She can’t feel anything more than friendship for him—even if she wants to. It is wrong.


    “Let’s go inside, I need to get supper started,” she says. “Come on Ray. Let’s go eat then it’s bath time.”

    Ray Jr,. drops the rocks into the back of his little yellow dump truck and moans. He loves playing outside and rolling his truck around. At the moment he had dirt all over his face and Mickey Mouse t-shirt.

    “I wanna play,” the toddler complains.

    Horatio laughs and the sight of the boy and stands up from the steps. He crouches down and looks him up and down.

    “Come on, we’ll play inside. You can show your Mom the coloring you did earlier, okay? How about that buddy?” Horatio asks.

    Raymond seemingly thinks for a moment and then nods. Horatio offers his hand to him and Ray Jr,. takes it. He laughs at getting dirt on his Uncle’s hand and Horatio laughs and lifts him up over his shoulder.
     
  5. CHILI_PEPPERS

    CHILI_PEPPERS Pathologist

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    Re: Horatio & Yelina fic

    ahhh horatio is good with ray jr hes like his real father im love this story i wonder where raymond has gone?cant wait for the next chapter!!
     
  6. Lucy

    Lucy Colonial Fleet Librarian Premium Member

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    Re: Horatio & Yelina fic

    Terrific--very touching and exactly how I imagine them to have been. :)
     
  7. Leannethemouse

    Leannethemouse CSI Level Three

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    Re: Horatio & Yelina fic

    wow i am loving this fan fic :D
     
  8. HoratioAndMe

    HoratioAndMe Captain

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    Re: Horatio & Yelina fic

    I look up to
    Everything you are
    In my eyes you do no wrong
    And I believe in you
    Although you never asked me to
    I will remember you
    And what life put you through
    And in this cruel and lonely world
    I found one love...


    Horatio, Yelina, and Ray Jr., have recently finished supper. Ray Jr., sits on the sofa laboring over a drawing, wanting to get more praise for his work. He wears his pajamas, having just gotten out of the bath, all ready for bed. In the kitchen, his Mother and Uncle finish up the dishes.

    “You know,” Yelina is saying. “I just wish I could help Raymond fix whatever it is that’s making him this way. I mean, he’s changed since he started working in narcotics—or at least that’s when I first noticed it. He’s always been a little removed from us—. I want to help him but he won’t let me in. It’s as if he doesn’t trust me.”

    Horatio thoughtfully dries the dish in his hands with the towel over his shoulder. This is one of the reasons why he decided to stay, so that she could have someone there to talk to. It hurts sitting around with all these emotions and having no way to vent them.

    “He’s always had his own way of reacting to things,” Horatio replies, searching for words that may comfort her. “He’s got his own demons, just like all of us, and right now he wants to sort things out for himself. All we can do is try our best to guide him towards the right decision.”

    Yelina nods tearfully and hands him the last dish to dry. Horatio always knew how to comfort her and ease some of the confusion that always accompanied Raymond.

    “You’re right,” she agrees. “And we can’t give up on him.”

    She says those words aloud in more of a promise to herself. It was hard but she knew that she had to stay by her husband. Through thick and thin. Even if he was slowly breaking her heart.
    Horatio nods sadly to her words. He admires her strength for keeping faith in Raymond. However, he knows how much this is hurting her. It was easier to give up, less painful, yet she chose the road less traveled. Right then, in Horatio’s eyes, Raymond was the luckiest man alive.

    “All done,” Yelina announces, attempting cheerfulness.

    Horatio forces a smile and places the last plate in the cabinet. Did Raymond even know the depth of what Yelina was risking here?

    Yelina turns and leaves the kitchen. As soon as she enters the living room he can hear her talking with Ray Jr., before the two laugh.

    Horatio remains at the sink, a million thoughts racing around in his mind as he stares blankly at where she had just stood. Earlier, his brother had spoken of sacrifice. Little did Raymond know that there was sacrifice on this end also. Yes, his younger brother was sacrificing family for work—even when given the chance to work at the Crime Lab and be with them—but his wife was sacrificing her dreams. Dreams of having her own family, being happy, and having a loving relationship with her spouse. All slowly shattering.
    He didn’t want to admit it but maybe his brother is what he has made himself out to be lately. A fool.
     
  9. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Re: Horatio & Yelina fic

    oh i am soooo lovin this fan fic...!
    LOL I've just noticed that I always keep saying the same thing about this fic.. *tee hee hee* but it's true.. i love this story SO MUCH! ;)
     
  10. Lucy

    Lucy Colonial Fleet Librarian Premium Member

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    Re: Horatio & Yelina fic

    Me too Olly. It is so well written and the backstory seems so right. :)
     
  11. HoratioAndMe

    HoratioAndMe Captain

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    Re: Horatio & Yelina fic

    I can wait forever, if you say you'll be there, too
    I can wait forever, if you will, I know it's worth it all
    To spend my life alone with you.
    When it looked, as though my life was wrong,
    You took my love and gave it somewhere to belong
    I'll be here, when hope is out of sight,
    I just wish that I was next to you tonight...




    Horatio still sits by Yelina’s hospital bed. She still has not replied to the news that he had told her: Raymond still being alive and in Recife. He wishes that he could’ve held his tongue a little longer—when she was feeling better.

    “Yelina,” Horatio speaks. “We can talk about this later, okay? You need to rest, I shouldn’t have…”

    Horatio starts to stand and Yelina holds her hand out to attempt and stop him. Their eyes lock and he sighs. There was the same gleam to her eye. The one she had harbored all those years ago when she had decided to stand beside Raymond and help him. The will to stand by that commitment she had taken and became his younger brother’s wife. For better or worse…

    “I told you the truth when I said I don’t love Raymond. I did,” she says. “But you know I still have to help him.”

    Horatio did not return to his seat. He stood at there searching her eyes. How could he have ever thought he could erase the memory of her by being with anyone else? No one compared to her. Not ever.

    “I know,” he says, crouching down to clasp her hand.

    Yelina brings his hand to her face and closes her eyes. Tears spill out onto his hand and he feels what emotions she is battling.

    “You get some sleep,” he whispers, tears in his own eyes. “We’ll talk after you get some more rest.”

    Yelina opens her eyes and searches his. They stay staring at each other for a long moment. He finally gives a reassuring smile, takes his free hand, and lays the palm of his hand on her cheek. Yelina sighs. Just his touch was comforting.

    “Wait just a little longer,” she speaks low, referring to the Raymond situation.

    Horatio wipes the tear from her cheek as he had the night she came back to him. He nods and kisses the back of her hand.

    “I could wait forever,” he promises.

    Yelina’s lips tremble.

    “I’m sorry,” she says, and he tilts his head. “Sorry that I didn’t realize sooner these feelings I have for you. God, we could’ve been so happy…”

    Horatio nods and looks away. She realizes just how long he must’ve already been aware of his feelings. It must’ve hurt seeing her live the life she had with Raymond: the unhappiness, the distance, and all the tears. She knew that he had tried his best to help them be happy. Maybe that was why he hadn’t told her when she was married about his feelings—he wanted them to be happy.

    “We will be. That’s what counts. We will be happy,” Horatio says, looking back sadly.

    Yelina nods in agreement and inhales a shaky breath. It was getting harder to stay awake but she didn’t want to go back to sleep. She wanted to be with him now, in the present, instead of in her dreams.
    He notices her exhaustion and a genuine smile develops on his face. She smiles back and he gives her hand an affectionate squeeze.

    “Close your eyes,” he whispers. “Get some rest. I’ll be right here when you wake up. Everything’s going to be alright.”

    Yelina sighs and closes her eyes. Horatio slides his chair closer to her bed and keeps hold of her hand. He watches her closely until he knows that she is asleep.
     
  12. CHILI_PEPPERS

    CHILI_PEPPERS Pathologist

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    Re: Horatio & Yelina fic

    WOW THATS SO LOVELY I LOVE THIS SO MUCH THEY BELONG TOGETHER!!!CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT ENTRY!
     
  13. HoratioAndMe

    HoratioAndMe Captain

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    Re: Horatio & Yelina fic

    Horatio reenters the living room trying to keep the presence of his thoughts off his face. He wanted to help lighten the emotional strain while he was there. Not make things worse by harboring all the tension that was strung out in the air.
    He looks to Yelina as he walks deeper into the room. She stands by the window, selecting music to play on the stereo. Her expression hid by her hair.
    Music has always been one of the alluring things about her. Horatio doesn’t know of anyone that has more of a passion for it than her. Music is so much a part of her that it seems to follow her. Sometimes he even wonders why she had chosen law enforcement over something she feels so profoundly for.

    “Look,” Ray Jr. says, alerting Horatio to his drawing.

    Horatio sits on the sofa next to him and takes the picture. It carries a nice resemblance to the boy’s little yellow dump truck. He can’t help but chuckle at this.

    “If it was up to him, he’d live outside,” Yelina says, with a slight laugh, knowing what the 3-year-old has drawn.

    Horatio watches her for a moment then looks to his nephew. The boy did have his own views about everything. The beauty of a child.

    “What would you do when it rains, hmm?” Horatio smiles.

    Ray Jr. places his crayon to his chin as if in deep thought. Both Yelina and Horatio watch patiently with grins on their faces. He then points to the drawing of his dump truck.

    “I’d get inside,” he explains, pointing to the door in the picture.

    Horatio and Yelina exchange looks of amusement.

    “Of course, why didn’t I think of that?” Horatio nods with a slight shrug.

    Ray Jr. takes the coloring back from his Uncle and begins to draw rocks in the back of the dump truck. Horatio sighs as he watches him. It is relaxing to see someone take things so easily. Not worrying about his father, life, or anything. The boy acts as if he is the happiest person in the world. However, it is known to both adults in the room that the child does miss his father and does not understand what has been going on.

    Across the room, Yelina selects a song. She turns with a smile, glad that she has found something that she wants to hear: Frank Sinatra. Horatio cannot help but smile back. She has always been a loyal fan of ol’ blue eyes.

    “Come on,” Yelina invites.

    Horatio isn’t sure he should. He’d already kissed her today. He doesn’t think dancing to such a slow song would be right. There was nothing that he’d like more, yet he hesitated.

    “I don’t think…” Horatio begins.

    Yelina raises her eyebrows.

    “If you don’t want…” she begins.

    Horatio stands and rolls down his sleeves. Right then he attempts to promise himself to control his emotions. He wasn’t going to let his heart get ahead of his mind again today.

    “I do,” he nods sincerely.

    Horatio holds out his hand and she takes it. On the sofa Ray Jr. watches happily as the two of them begin to dance to the slow, classic voice of Sinatra:


    …When somebody loves you,
    it’s no good unless he loves you
    All the way
    Happy to be near you
    When you need someone to cheer you
    All the way…

    “I can never repay you,” Yelina speaks, resting her cheek on his shoulder. “For all that you’ve done for us.”

    Horatio closes his eyes for a moment. It is hard to ignore how happy he is holding her and dancing with her. He realizes they haven’t danced since her wedding. That had been one of the hardest things to ever do in his life.

    “You don’t have to,” he replies, swallowing hard. “I’m happy to help.”

    Around them the heartbreaking voice of Sinatra continues:


    …Taller than the tallest tree is
    That’s how it’s got to feel
    Deeper than the deep blue sea is
    That’s how deep it goes
    It if it’s real…

    Yelina sighs and closes her own eyes. What was she thinking? She was just daring herself to come into more physical contact with Horatio. However, she couldn’t help herself. He made her feel safe, loved, even happy.

    … But if you let me love you
    It’s for sure
    I’m going to love you
    All the way
    All the way…

    Yelina’s eyes fill with tears. Why was it that Horatio made her feel so alive and with Raymond she felt confined? Is her marriage swindling? Maybe she had married the wrong man…
     
  14. Hummer

    Hummer Lab Technician

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    Re: Horatio & Yelina fic

    Beaitful! Excelent song choice. i want to hear thut song! thanks to u for keping the h/Y love alive in ur fic. :D
     
  15. CHILI_PEPPERS

    CHILI_PEPPERS Pathologist

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    Re: Horatio & Yelina fic

    ahhh im loving this so much !!!well done horato and yelina belong together!!!and little ray jr!!!ahhhhh brilliant well done!!
     

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