The ride to the Family Physician’s Office was a mainly quiet except for the occasional comment from Ray Jr. in the backseat; pointing out things to his teddy bear as they rode along.
A lot was on both of their minds.
It pained Horatio knowing that Yelina was afraid to have any more children, because of the way its Father was. If there was ever anyone that truly loved children, it was she, and yet the dream of having a large family had a shadow cast over it. Raymond’s wayward ways made having a loving home nearly unimaginable.
Horatio would have a long talk with Raymond when he returned—if he did. Whenever his brother left, he could never be certain that he would return or not. Little brother was like that: an unpredictable, angry, and mainly self-centered man.
Sometimes, Horatio felt responsible for Raymond’s behavior. Had he cast a giant shadow over his brother with the things he had achieved? If he hadn’t gone into the law enforcement would Raymond have? Did he teach him all the morals, values, and compassion that made up what he himself was?
Anyone who knew Horatio that far back would say that he tirelessly tried to teach him values, believed in him, and tried to guide him. However, the Caine brothers were not the same.
Raymond was stubborn, irate, and unheeding.
Horatio had told him his reason for taking up such a dangerous life-risking career.
It was something in him. An instinct perhaps that told him at first. It was a calling, not a job of choice. He felt obligated to help others. It was his reason for being allowed into existence. To serve the weak, those who could no longer speak for themselves, and to clean up the scum that clung to the streets.
Raymond just wanted to do what Horatio did and be better at it. He always silently competed with his brother at everything. Horatio was the standard and Raymond felt as if he were in his shadow.
The vehicle pulled into Dr. Louis Sinclair’s private practicing clinic a few miles from Biscayne Bay in the South Miami Heights.
Dr. Sinclair had first become their physician when Yelina was pregnant with Ray Jr., so Horatio had met up with her a couple of times. She had even once mistaken him as the husband.
Horatio glanced at Yelina as he pulls into a parking space. She has her expression guarded again. He knows, however, that she had prepared for whatever the doctor tells her. He admires that.
“If you could watch Ray while I—“Yelina began.
Horatio nods quickly.
“I’d love to,” he smiles, turning slightly in his seat to look at her.
Yelina looks at her hands. She wants to say something, but stops herself. Now wasn’t the time for such words. Instead, she smiles gratefully and raises a hand to touch his.
“Thank-you, Horatio. You know I can never repay you for your kindness,” she says.
Horatio tries to ignore what he feels when her hand touches his. No, he could not harbor such emotions for his sister-in-law. It was wrong. It went against everything he stood for. The same thoughts that ran through his mind, every single time he was with her, began playing themselves—repeatedly.
“You don’t have to repay me for anything, Yelina,” he sighs.
Yelina and he both lock eyes for a moment. Words go unsaid and they force themselves to look away. Attraction between the two of them is forbidden. She knew it as well as him. However, that did not stop their hearts from feeling it.
She gets out and Horatio sits thinking for a short moment before following her. He helps her get Ray Jr., then the three of them make their way inside the building.
Horatio waits for an hour in the waiting room with Ray Jr. He tries to keep his composure, but it was evident that he was worried. The anticipation was making him restless. For a while, he tries to sit and watch the boy play with building blocks, but soon found himself staring off down the hall.
He wants to be with her. To be someone to hold her hand when she found out, but he knew that it was a private personal matter. Nothing for him to intrude upon, after all he was just her brother-in-law. Not Raymond. There were a lot of moments when he felt like he was encroaching on their lives too much. However, he found it hard to step back.
Just then, Yelina rounds the corner and makes her way down the hall. Her expression is blank and un-readable still. Horatio disliked it when she tries to hide her emotions. It reminds him of himself too much.
“You okay?” he asks, walking to meet her.
Yelina walks a few more steps before stopping. Horatio tilts his head and watches her as she looks down into her pocketbook. He thinks of how beautiful she is with her eyebrows resting on her cheeks.
“I’m, um, not pregnant. Dr. Sinclair says that the home pregnancy tests do run a risk of being wrong. So…,” Yelina began.
Horatio nods and shifts his feet.
“Have you, uh, been sick or--?” he asks, trailing off.
Yelina smiles sadly. Horatio’s stomach twists painfully. Those weren’t the kind of smiles she deserved to be having.
“I’m fine Horatio,” she sighs. “Despite the fact, that I have no idea where my husband is, and I was scared to death that I might be pregnant.”
Horatio swallows hard. There was no justice in Yelina and Ray Jr. going through this. If only his talking to Raymond would put some sense into him.
“Yelina, maybe--,” he begins.
Yelina raises a hand and he lowers his eyes.
“Please, Horatio. Let’s talk somewhere else. This isn’t the place.” Yelina frowns, shaking her head.
The ride back to her house was a silent one. Even Ray Jr. had fallen asleep in his car seat.
Yelina sat watching the buildings pass by her window in a blur. She knew Horatio wanted to talk, once again, about her and Raymond. Why did she have to be married to someone the way he was? Was she cursed?
Could she have been happy with Horatio?
No, she wouldn’t even let the thought stay in her mind for more then a second. Horatio was her brother-in-law…a relative and a good friend. Nothing more then that—it was wrong to even let the idea creep into her mind.
Despite herself, she ventured a look at him. She imagined how lucky a woman would be if they had Horatio’s love. It would be the kind of relationship everyone dreamed of: kisses each morning, calling just to say how much he misses and needs her, bringing home flowers for no other reason then to show his devotion, showing his love by just a look in his eye. Those were the things some lucky woman would have from him.
Once they arrive back at her house Horatio lifts the still sleeping boy from the car seat, and carries him inside. After he lays him down in bed, he walks into the living room.
Yelina’s house has barely changed since the night they had dinner together, three years earlier.
Of course she had changed some things: added some furniture, moved things around, and placed more photographs on the walls.
“You want something to drink or do you have to get back?” Yelina asks, entering from where she hung up her jacket.
Horatio walks to her.
“Yelina, we need to talk,” he says.
Yelina stares at him for a moment then nods.
“Fine,” she agrees.
Horatio watches her as she walks towards the kitchen. He follows. In this part of the house if they spoke loud it wouldn’t wake the boy.
“Yelina, you know I have to say this. Whether I’m his brother or not--,” Horatio began.
Yelina turns sharply.
“Horatio, don’t say it. You think I don’t know how things are around here? We’ve had this conversation a thousand times! I can’t give up on Raymond. I have to…try,” Yelina exclaims, her voice quivering.
Horatio makes a move towards her to try and comfort her and she backs away. He takes a step back.
“I’m sorry, It’s just that I see what you’re going through--,” he starts.
Yelina looks around the room angrily.
“You’ve been our hero through all of this. You’re always there for me—for us. Whenever I see Raymond I’ve always tried to see you in him. I keep thinking that, just maybe, he has some of you: some character, compassion, and love. I’ve tried to ignore the fact…the fact that you care more about us then he does. I just know that somewhere in him there is all that, and I can give up on him. You know yourself, Horatio, that there is something…It just hurts finding it!” Yelina continues.
Horatio steps closer to her now and she welcomes his company. He raises a hand to her face and wipes a tear away with his thumb. She closes her eyes and holds his hand to her face. He exhales and realizes Yelina is holding her breath... anticipating his next move.
His right hand moves up to rest on her other cheek, cradling her face. They search each others eyes and he expects her to stop him. She doesn’t. He stoops to bring their faces closer, still expecting. They can feel each others breath on their faces now. Yelina moves her hands into his hair with bated breath. Their hearts beat loudly in their own ears. Each waiting for the other to stop the inevitable, their lips meet.
please continue
