George Eads (writing): Dear CBS. I want a raise for myself and Robert David Hall. If you do not raise our pay, we will quit (and I mean it this time) and go work for Grey's Anatomy. And we will take all our fans with us. Just ask the board members of CSIFiles. They will quit watching your show and your ratings will drop. Sincerely...
Robert David Hall: Hold on there, Kemo Sabe. I would like a raise, but there is no way in heck I'll go to work for Grey's Lobotomy.
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Doc Robbins: Nick, you do know that we have computers for writing our reports, don't you?
Nick: Yeah, but Hodges crashed the hard drive while playing one of the games he created.
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Doc Robbins: So which girl are you writing a love note to this time:
Nick: The new one in the cafeteria. She gave me an extra scoop of ice cream with lunch today.
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Doc Robbins: No, I don't want to see your sketches. There is no way I will wear lab coats with a lace trim.