G
Guest
Guest
Great writing (once again)!!
The Life & Times of Sara Sidle
- Thread starter quoth_the_raven
- Start date
quoth_the_raven
Corpse
I have a question. How old are you? (I know actually)
Your writing is absolutely flawless. And I'm not just saying that because-anything. From your first post till now, I have yet to see any typoes or speeling erors.And I've read enough fan fics over the years to differentiate the good ones from the bad. You know where you stand.
That chappie was the longest you've written (I think - is it?) and most insightful. We get to see the emergence of Sara's feministic disposition and independence. I like your debate scene - FEMALE POWER, I tell ya! :lol: And I'm gonna go log on e-bay to see if I can find a bracelet exactly like hers! Haha!
Oh, and I'm glad you've decided to give into our 'persuasive arguments' and write Sara's character up to her adult years. Never underestimate the persuasive nature of CSI fans! When you can't write, you persuade! :lol:
Good work, keep going!
Thank you guys! So much! Really, I can't tell you how happy the feedback makes me! The first chapter was actually the longest, but this last chapter was the second-longest I have written. Thank you guys! SO MUCH!
Mini_Catherine
CSI Level One
*Passes brownies* Yeah, yeah. Soak up the sun. Now hurry up with the next chapter..or I'll take those back. *POints to brownies, goes to leave, stops, turns, runs to brownies, takes them, runs away* --Distant voice-- Haha! *munch, munch, cough* Help! *chokes*
quoth_the_raven
Corpse
Ha, that's what I thought about! I remembered that being Nick's last sentence in '4x4' and I thought it would work nicely
CHILI_PEPPERS
Pathologist
i love this its so well written well done!
G
Guest
Guest
I really do love your righting as well and I definatly think that you should work this story all the way up until 6th season and if not farther.. and then once you have passed where the producers are at one point then you can sell it to them and make mucho dollars! I cant wait for more!
I cant wait for more! quoth_the_raven
Corpse
Thanks, new chapter:
December 18, 1984- Residence of Ted and Nancy Wilcoff
Sara sat in her room on her tiny bed. She had next to her a large stack of books that her english teacher had given her as a Christmas present- he claimed that she would enjoy them. Sara had taken the books hesitantly, still not very used to accepting gifts from someone. For so many years she had just imagined getting gifts, watching the other kids run around with their new toys and such. But this year was different.
Sara had gotten the bracelet from Josh- that was something she would cherish forever. The books she got would always stay on her bookshelf, she was not planning on getting rid of them.
Sara tilted her head a bit as she read, intrigued by the story until the light turned on making her squint. She set the book down and covered her eyes and face, hissing.
"Turn out the light!"
Nancy raised a brow as she walked into her room after turning the light on. "No, you're going to hurt your eyes. What are you, a vampire?"
"No, but I'm reading about one."
Nancy walked over to her and picked the book up Sara was reading.
"Dracula? You're telling me you never read Bram Stoker's finest work."
Sara shook her head with a grin. "My parents didn't exactly buy me books." She took the book back and opened it up. "Turn off the light, please?"
"Why?"
"Adds to the effect."
Nancy sighed rolling her eyes and walked out after turning off the light. She poked her head in one more time and smiled saying, "The hissing was a nice touch." Sara smiled at her before returning to her book, her lips curled in a grin as she continued to indulge herself in the literature.
After a while, she frowned as she finished the book and sighed as she closed it, lowering her head. She looked to the diminishing stack of the books she had not read yet, when a thought struck her mind- she still needed to get something for Josh.
Sighing, she closed her eyes to think. What would he like? She had no idea what to get him. She felt a bit embarrassed- he was her friend and she had no idea what he would like for Christmas.
Then again...Sara had never before had a friend to buy for for Christmas.
Sara got up pacing back-and-forth. She rubbed her head and then she gasped- she knew what to do!
She dropped to her knees and threw things out of the bookcase and closet, trying desperately to find it. A shirt flew over her left shoulder, a sneaker over her right. Her room was soon littered with clothes, shoes, and many other items as Sara searched her room for it.
"Come on, come on..." Sara said as she searched through a drawer. She lunged at her closet, grunting as she lifted a large box out of her way and searched behind it- nothing. She felt like screaming and/or ripping her hair out as her search came up empty.
Ted and Nancy heard grunts and other noises of frustration coming from Sara's room and they looked at each other in confusion as the sounds continued. They even considered going into her room, and they finally did when they heard her gasp.
"What is it?" Ted asked, baseball bat in hand, Nancy by his side.
"I found it!" Sara said triumphantly. She looked at Ted's baseball bat and smirked. "You, uh...planning on using that thing, Ted?"
Ted blinked and put the baseball bat down walking out. Nancy shook her head. "You scared us, young lady!"
She walked out and Sara smiled to herself as she held the item in her hand- it was all she really had, and it wasn't much, but it meant a lot to her and she wanted Josh to have it. She hugged the item against her chest and took a deep breath, all of the memories with the item coming back to her. She sort of frowned at some of the remembrance, but it was soon forgotten as she set it on her bed and begin looking for something to wrap it with.
"Sara, we're going to our parent's on Sunday, so-"
"I'm going to the Christmas party with Josh."
"Oh..."
"But he said I could stay at his brother's with him and his wife if I wanted to afterwards."
"Oh, okay, you're sure you'll be okay over there?"
She put a hand on her hip and grinned. "I'll be fine."
Nancy nodded and walked off and Sara again lunged for her closet looking for something to wrap the gift in. What she found was perfect- it was a solid red gift bag (Sara had no idea where it had come from), and she ran into the kitchen looking for something to serve as tissue paper.
"Tissue paper! Need! Now!"
Ted walked out of the kitchen holding a pint of ice cream, spoon half-way to his mouth. He looked at Sara and swallowed a spoonful. "Sorry, kiddo- none here."
Nancy walked out of the closet handing her some tissue paper and Sara thanked her before grabbing it and running off. Nancy walked into the kitchen.
"Ted, I'm fixing dinner so-" And then she saw the pint of ice cream.
Ted smiled nervously, wiping some of it off of his face. "Want some?"
Sara grabbed the gift and stared at it for a moment. It would be so hard giving this up. She hugged it again and then planted a kiss on its head before she gently placed it in the bag and stuffed it with yellow tissue paper. She grabbed a marker from the small desk in her room and wrote on the bag 'To Joshie'. She smiled and clicked the cap onto the marker and then set it down by her bed. She turned around and looked at the room in front of her.
"Now it's time to clean up," she said rolling her eyes at the mess in front of her. She hadn't realized the mess she was making while she had been making it. She grabbed the stray sneakers and threw them in her closet as she picked up her shirts and put them on hangers, hanging them up niceley in her closet. She picked up the other items that had made it onto the floor and set them in their rightful places.
"How did you do tha?" Ted asked standing in her doorway with the pint of cookie-dough ice cream.
"It's a gift," she said with a smile.
"Okay, uh...well maybe you have a gift for convincing people that when someone eats a pint of ice cream as their wife's fixing dinner doesn't mean that they don't want their wife's super-dooper-tasty dinner."
Sara grinned. "I'll try my best."
She walked out of the room and Ted followed her thanking her as she walked off. She made her way to the kitchen as Nancy was placing the plates on the table.
"Nancy, don't you think Ted should get to eat--"
"TED!"
Sara was cut-off mid-sentece because Nancy yelled.
"Don't use her to get food!" Nancy yelled. Ted looked down at the floor like a dog with its tail between its legs. "Go watch Top Gun on the big screen with your cookie-dough!"
He frowned and whimpered like a small dog. Sara looked at him. "Sorry, Ted."
He smiled and put a hand on her shoulder. "Nah, it's okay. I'll get somethin' to eat later, she'll never know I took any."
Sara grinned and sat down at the table as Nancy brought the salad and bread and Ted walked into the living room with his cookie-dough ice cream.
December 18, 1984- Residence of Ted and Nancy Wilcoff
Sara sat in her room on her tiny bed. She had next to her a large stack of books that her english teacher had given her as a Christmas present- he claimed that she would enjoy them. Sara had taken the books hesitantly, still not very used to accepting gifts from someone. For so many years she had just imagined getting gifts, watching the other kids run around with their new toys and such. But this year was different.
Sara had gotten the bracelet from Josh- that was something she would cherish forever. The books she got would always stay on her bookshelf, she was not planning on getting rid of them.
Sara tilted her head a bit as she read, intrigued by the story until the light turned on making her squint. She set the book down and covered her eyes and face, hissing.
"Turn out the light!"
Nancy raised a brow as she walked into her room after turning the light on. "No, you're going to hurt your eyes. What are you, a vampire?"
"No, but I'm reading about one."
Nancy walked over to her and picked the book up Sara was reading.
"Dracula? You're telling me you never read Bram Stoker's finest work."
Sara shook her head with a grin. "My parents didn't exactly buy me books." She took the book back and opened it up. "Turn off the light, please?"
"Why?"
"Adds to the effect."
Nancy sighed rolling her eyes and walked out after turning off the light. She poked her head in one more time and smiled saying, "The hissing was a nice touch." Sara smiled at her before returning to her book, her lips curled in a grin as she continued to indulge herself in the literature.
After a while, she frowned as she finished the book and sighed as she closed it, lowering her head. She looked to the diminishing stack of the books she had not read yet, when a thought struck her mind- she still needed to get something for Josh.
Sighing, she closed her eyes to think. What would he like? She had no idea what to get him. She felt a bit embarrassed- he was her friend and she had no idea what he would like for Christmas.
Then again...Sara had never before had a friend to buy for for Christmas.
Sara got up pacing back-and-forth. She rubbed her head and then she gasped- she knew what to do!
She dropped to her knees and threw things out of the bookcase and closet, trying desperately to find it. A shirt flew over her left shoulder, a sneaker over her right. Her room was soon littered with clothes, shoes, and many other items as Sara searched her room for it.
"Come on, come on..." Sara said as she searched through a drawer. She lunged at her closet, grunting as she lifted a large box out of her way and searched behind it- nothing. She felt like screaming and/or ripping her hair out as her search came up empty.
Ted and Nancy heard grunts and other noises of frustration coming from Sara's room and they looked at each other in confusion as the sounds continued. They even considered going into her room, and they finally did when they heard her gasp.
"What is it?" Ted asked, baseball bat in hand, Nancy by his side.
"I found it!" Sara said triumphantly. She looked at Ted's baseball bat and smirked. "You, uh...planning on using that thing, Ted?"
Ted blinked and put the baseball bat down walking out. Nancy shook her head. "You scared us, young lady!"
She walked out and Sara smiled to herself as she held the item in her hand- it was all she really had, and it wasn't much, but it meant a lot to her and she wanted Josh to have it. She hugged the item against her chest and took a deep breath, all of the memories with the item coming back to her. She sort of frowned at some of the remembrance, but it was soon forgotten as she set it on her bed and begin looking for something to wrap it with.
"Sara, we're going to our parent's on Sunday, so-"
"I'm going to the Christmas party with Josh."
"Oh..."
"But he said I could stay at his brother's with him and his wife if I wanted to afterwards."
"Oh, okay, you're sure you'll be okay over there?"
She put a hand on her hip and grinned. "I'll be fine."
Nancy nodded and walked off and Sara again lunged for her closet looking for something to wrap the gift in. What she found was perfect- it was a solid red gift bag (Sara had no idea where it had come from), and she ran into the kitchen looking for something to serve as tissue paper.
"Tissue paper! Need! Now!"
Ted walked out of the kitchen holding a pint of ice cream, spoon half-way to his mouth. He looked at Sara and swallowed a spoonful. "Sorry, kiddo- none here."
Nancy walked out of the closet handing her some tissue paper and Sara thanked her before grabbing it and running off. Nancy walked into the kitchen.
"Ted, I'm fixing dinner so-" And then she saw the pint of ice cream.
Ted smiled nervously, wiping some of it off of his face. "Want some?"
Sara grabbed the gift and stared at it for a moment. It would be so hard giving this up. She hugged it again and then planted a kiss on its head before she gently placed it in the bag and stuffed it with yellow tissue paper. She grabbed a marker from the small desk in her room and wrote on the bag 'To Joshie'. She smiled and clicked the cap onto the marker and then set it down by her bed. She turned around and looked at the room in front of her.
"Now it's time to clean up," she said rolling her eyes at the mess in front of her. She hadn't realized the mess she was making while she had been making it. She grabbed the stray sneakers and threw them in her closet as she picked up her shirts and put them on hangers, hanging them up niceley in her closet. She picked up the other items that had made it onto the floor and set them in their rightful places.
"How did you do tha?" Ted asked standing in her doorway with the pint of cookie-dough ice cream.
"It's a gift," she said with a smile.
"Okay, uh...well maybe you have a gift for convincing people that when someone eats a pint of ice cream as their wife's fixing dinner doesn't mean that they don't want their wife's super-dooper-tasty dinner."
Sara grinned. "I'll try my best."
She walked out of the room and Ted followed her thanking her as she walked off. She made her way to the kitchen as Nancy was placing the plates on the table.
"Nancy, don't you think Ted should get to eat--"
"TED!"
Sara was cut-off mid-sentece because Nancy yelled.
"Don't use her to get food!" Nancy yelled. Ted looked down at the floor like a dog with its tail between its legs. "Go watch Top Gun on the big screen with your cookie-dough!"
He frowned and whimpered like a small dog. Sara looked at him. "Sorry, Ted."
He smiled and put a hand on her shoulder. "Nah, it's okay. I'll get somethin' to eat later, she'll never know I took any."
Sara grinned and sat down at the table as Nancy brought the salad and bread and Ted walked into the living room with his cookie-dough ice cream.
quoth_the_raven
Corpse
Hey, great chapter!
So what is this mystery gift? A plush toy? A book, perhaps? Luminol? Heheh. What? What? What? I gotta know! --- The ramblings of an over-eager child.
Ted and Nancy are such amazing parents. Cookie-dough and Top Gun. Goes well together!
Hahaha, a cookie to whoever can guess what the gift is!
quoth_the_raven
Corpse
Hehehe...not quite yet... *takes away Top Gun and cookie*