Nick gulped, daring to take a glance at her after nothing was said for a minute. She just stood there, hands shaking on the cool countertops. Reaching out his hand, he gently touched her, whispering her name. "Cat?" She started, shaking her head slightly. He had certainly startled her with this, and he smacked himself in the head again.
'She always does this to me, always manipulates me for the truth and here it is and now I've gotten her upset.' “I’m fine Nick. Really. Nothing bad like that will happen to me. I mean we have the… guy in custody." She stopped speaking for a moment, her eyes welling with tears. It broke him, tore him to pieces, to see her like this. She didn't deserve to be crying all the time, she didn't deserve all the crap thrown onto her at the lab, hell, she didn't deserve all this trauma his close quarters was causing. He didn't deserve her. The tears sliding down her skin cast her face into a glittering exsistence, Nick absently counting each tear she shed and thinking of something he's done to cause that.
“I’m…, well I’m just really worried about you. I mean you pointed a loaded gun at me, and God only knows what this…this woman did to you when you were just a child, and I don’t know how to make this better for you. What happened to you was awful, but I wouldn’t change the person you are today. Ugly things at times make us more beautiful, and I love the man you are today. But, I don’t know how to make you see." Her breaths were light, on the verge of sobs, and he crossed over to her, enveloping her in his arms. Painfully pulling away, he laid a finger on her lips and delicately brushed the tears away. Her blue eyes captivated him, swallowing him whole. He was too far gone.
“Cat, I will move on past that mess. That isn’t what is bothering me as much. Sure, I mean, it’s something that will stay with me, but I’m more bothered with the latter part of my dream." His voice was shaky, much like her still-trembling hands, as he reached up to her face, brushing his fingers across her cheek as he moved a single curl from her view, moving it behind her ear. "The last part is what truly disturbs me."
“Nick, maybe you should take some time off work because-" All his ears picked up was 'take some time off work' and his quick-to-judge personality kicked in.
"And what the hell does that mean?" He almost flinched himself, the pure frustrated tone of his voice most likely kicking Catherine in the chest, shocking her. It shocked him, at least. This frustrated him, not Cat, but this entire topic. The thought of those three women, hell, two of them were only children, brutally murdered in their own home. Still no lead in that case; apparently some high-profile case on day-shift was more important. And bringing up the case meant bringing up her attempted abduction, and the letters, and Neil Howard. He cringed at the icy tone of the name, waiting for Catherine to come back up from his retort.
“It means, that I think this case is getting to you. Come on Nick, it’s a hard case to begin with, and mixed with my near abduction and your past I just think that-"
"Don’t go there, Catherine." Accentuating every syllable, his face transformed into a stony stranger, fighting with the most beautiful woman in the world. But he couldn't let that latter part get to him. Damn, she just used the very things he confided in her a few moments earlier against him. How dare she?! She had betrayed him, throwing that at his face like nails, digging into him. “My personal life is not interfering with this case, and I’ll be damned if I let you use that against me.” Pulling his shoulders back, he gained a few more inches, testosterone and adrenaline fueling his empty, tired body. Nick was already noticeably taller than Catherine, but when he straightened his back and she was flat-footed, he was basically a giant.
“Nick, I didn’t mean it like that. You just seem really bothered by the last letter, and well-" He opened his mouth to argue again, but she stopped herself this time, so he let his mouth close. Her eyes met his, something in her's analyzing him, something whirring through her brain. He should've looked away, should've taken a step towards her, anything but silence and this intense stare. “Where is it Nick?” He knew exactly what she was talking about; those damned letters. Shrugging his shoulders lightly, he gazed at her at an attempt to shroud his silly anger and frustration with misunderstanding. She didn't buy it, but why should she? She's known him for years, just as he knows her, and what makes her tick, and what pisses her off, and he knew full well not coming straight out with her DEFINITELY pissed her off. “THE LETTER, Nick! Where is it?” Struggling to keep their voices down as not to wake Lindsay and Sara, Nick watched her take two steps toward him, reducing the space between them to less than a foot. He glared down at her, determined to keep her from reading those letters. She didn't need to, and it's the last thing she needed on her mind.
“Like hell, Catherine. Your not reading it.” His voice was cool, but louder and deeper, iced and threaded with that same frustration as before. Before he knew it, she was walking purposefully toward the door with his keys in hand.
“Fine, I will go get it myself." Using the same icy tone, she threw open the door and didn't even take a step out the door before Nick had a hand tightly around her upper arm. 'Be sure, Nicky, to keep an eye out...' Shaking the words from the note from his mind, he yanked Catherine back carefully, the door still open, letting in the cool desert air.
"I don't have them, remember? It's Grissom and Sara's case. They're back at the lab being processed." But, being the person he is, Nick made sure after they were processed that the tech gave him photocopies of each letter, which were now sitting safely in the glove compartment of the Denali parked in the driveway. But she didn't know that. Despite himself, he unknowingly let the tiniest hint of a smug smile flash over his face. She wrenched her arm away from him, taking a step out the door.
"Fine, I'll go get them at the lab." He stood still at the door, watching her walk to the Denali for what seemed forever, but by the time he bursted from the door and gently grabbed her arm again, swiveling her around, she was only at the hood of the SUV.
"What?! No! You can't! You still have another day of leave, and no way in hell will you go in pajamas!" Nick looked down at her, the frustration fading slightly from his eyes. She was barefoot, and the thin pants and tank-top shirt did nothing to keep her warm in the breeze. Her shoulders started shaking slightly, and he just wanted to pick her up and lay her back in bed again and rewind these past couple of days back to the beginning of that shift which seemed so very long ago.
"Why, afraid of prying eyes, Nick?" His jaw flexed again as his fists, clenched and white, hung stock still at his sides. She knew how to push buttons, and she had just hit a nerve. Forcefully knocking the keys from her hand, he picked them up from the concrete and steamed over to the passenger side of the Denali, making sure she heard him remark, "You're so god-damned proud." Her soft padded footsteps followed him and stopped behind him, but let him continue his action. He wrenched the door open and flipped open the glove compartement, withdrawing the sealed manila envelope. Closing the compartment again and the door too, Nick turned around and got a shove on the shoulder.
"Proud? This has NOTHING to do with me being proud! This has EVERYTHING to do with you treating me like I can't handle this. I know how to protect myself Nick; I've done a fine job of it so far." His anger was pooling out of control, and he slammed the folder down on the hood of the truck, throwing his hands up in the air.
"Because you CAN'T handle this! I can't handle this! Neither one of us, or the rest of our team for that matter, could handle anything if we worked solo all the time! I just don't want you to get hurt! I've already hurt you too many times, too many damn times, Cat!" He took a deep breath, and slowly lowered his hands, settling them on his hips, the rough pricks of the concrete pushing up through his thin socks. His voice much lower this time, he lowered his head and looked away, off into the realm of the neighborhood, anywhere but her face.
"Do you know how lucky you are that Charles came in when he did and said something about the kit? Had it been a few more moments, you could've been thrown into that van, never to be found, or you could've been lying dead in the lot; a lot of things could've happened. But they didn't, because you were lucky. If you were solo at the triple, or you hadn't moved up to the bedroom yet, he probably would've taken you then. We've been lucky." He emphasized the 'we', trying to remind her that they were in this together. He took a few steps back towards the house, surrendering this battle.
"I'm a damn fool for playing his game, and now you've had to pay." Roughly running his hand across his face, Nick sent a single tear flying off his face and climbed the steps and sat down on the top one, eyes directed on her. They may be fighting, but he wouldn't leave her.