THOUGHTS OF MISS DEE DURING THE EPISODE
Teaser
And we start off with a baby, apparently conceived, born, and standing up during one night in Las Vegas. I knew this town was fast, but come on.... That is one cute tot, though.
Cath and Sara: "Okay, like, we're totally BFF, and we're wearing, like, the coooolest sunglasses? 'Cause, y'know, like, we're tight? *giggles*" Seriously, weren't they wearing the same sunglasses? They were!
Yeah, betcha that GSR causes all kinds of tight contact shots. Heh heh heh. Rowr.
Act II
Gil, I'm not sure that colour is good on you... but you're looking svelte, your hair isn't multitoning too badly, and unlike the usual bug-up-your-ass attitude you sport you're actually coming across as a giant squeezable teddy bear. So I'm giving it a pass. For now.
Warrick, don't worry about the money. There are literally gajillions of women throughout the Milky Way who'd blow an ovary at the thought of treating you to dinner. (Of course, you'll have to have sex with them afterwards. I'd drop those blue pills like Dr. House drops Vicodin if I were you.)
"What would you do without me?" Get out of the way; the Grillows are preparing to explode!
God help me, I'm a bigger fan of Ecklie every time he appears. I want to smooth down that bald pate and coax out that reluctant smile. I have obviously been single way, way too long.
Dr. Ruth. Hee! Good thing you're a funny guy, Nick, 'cause that's the last we'll see of you this ep.
Bobby! I could listen to you say "Dwayne McGain" for hours.
Dr. Ent, you look like an ass. Gil better not go too easy on you. Suddenly I'm wishing Dr. House was assisting on this....
*goes off into dreamland where Greg House and Gil Grissom form their own special medical crime-fighting team*
You know something? It's nice to occasionally witness a judge who can see through an attempt to manipulate everybody and can actually do the right thing. (I'm talking at you, Miami. Yes, you.)
ACT III
Warrick flirting with Cath! Get out of the way; the Yo!Blingers are preparing to explode! (Although on a personal note, Cath? Go find someone who actually thinks you're smart enough to get yourself an A without screwing around for it. I hear Brass is available these days... he'll treat you with respect... and think of how much he's learned about fatherhood since Ellie! Listen to me, Cath!!!)
"That Big Guy owes me an apology, 'cause she was my girlfriend; He should have asked me first." Snort.
Anyone else nearly lose bowel control from laughing when Ecklie smacked down Dr. Ass for working the science to get his answers? Pot, meet Kettle; he has something to tell you. (No! No! I didn't say that! I'm sorry, baby! I'm sorry!)
Gil, I thought Jennifer Love Hewitt was the new Ghost Whisperer. Speak up, for God's sake - it's not church!
"That must have been nice for you." Oh Cath. When it comes to bringing the smackdown, you are second only to Brass. But for future consideration, Wendy is just the nice new girl who wants to take you to dinner and make friends. No need to look so spooked; this isn't Playing With Fire, Part Deux, you know.
And... let's take a moment to bow in silence for the perfection in a red tee that is Archie Johnson.
Thank you.
Um... Gil, I know you're not great at the office politics, but please - at least try not to give away your job, huh?
ACT IV
Sara, why, why, why don't you have an awesome boyfriend? You are so pretty and smart and cool. I want to be you. (Minus the abusive father and incarcerated mother, mind.)
Sure that stripper wasn't you, Cath? Be honest, now.
Catherine smacking down Dr. Sunflower with religious history! And rocking a pantsuit of appropriate attire while she's at it! Whoever rescued this character from utter irretrievable queenbitchdom, from the bottom of my heart - THANK YOU.
"Dead flies tell no lies." You write bad poetry on your offtime, don't you, Gil?
Good Lord, Sara, it's hard enough to defend the age difference between you and Grissom - stop flirting with the professor! He's old enough to be your grandfather! What's next - pulling a Dr. Cameron and only dating those who burn and rave at close of day? Sheesh, girl!
I knew that grandmother was guilty by the way she held her tea. Honest. That cup screamed guilty.
ACT V
Gil, it's good to know you still take out your manly insecurities on lowly innocent lab techs. Try growing a pair, huh?
Actually, I hate to tell you this, you two, but that really doesn't make for a terribly intense philosophical discussion, whatever Hodges might think. Try spending some time with Wittgenstein's Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus in my analytical philosophy class. You'll wish you were being eaten by blowflies instead.
"Only two things scare me, and one is nuclear war!" Sorry, but that's what Cath's comment reminded me of.
Wow, CSI has been really trotting out the sympathetic victims lately, huh? I think my heart actually constricted while that poor, poor sobbing girl was writing that note with a gun to her head. And that grandmother.... I find that the villians on these shows usually make me roll my eyes and think "You're an idiot and almost justify the death penalty simply for the improvement in the gene pool" - but she was seriously frightening. BRRRRRR.
And Good Lord, there he is... Grissom in a suioyj-oweihaweojrywojtpwjrphj=-iy1q5 2m"k\=oh6yj2ph
* * *
*ahem* Excuse me, my keyboard melted and I had to go replace it. As I was saying... Grissom in a suit. YUM.
Ho-ho! Dr. Ass, you are SMACKED DOWN. You can kiss Grissom's eminently delectable derriere! (Although I can think of thousands who'll relieve you of that chore. I'm first in line, suckas!)
Cost of living adjustments, just like that? Shit - knew I should've taken entomology instead of that damned analytic crap.
And, for the piece de resistance... Grissom waxes forth with how "fine" he is in his current position. Oh boy. For your edification, that newly-swollen bump on your head is the result of a ginormous flying anvil. Personally, I recommend Dr. House - for that and all your other medical and non-medical needs.
*goes off to salivate over dreams of a CSI/House crossover*
