Ch3 - Living Doll (2) New things
She never came to see me since that day . It hurts … I lost her forever to him .. to him . I hate my life , my job . Too many illusions , too many lies . Why the hell I never told her I love her ? I would have been so much better . Maybe she wouldn’t have married him . But after what I’ve seen in her eyes , it looked like she loved me too … that she realized she did a mistake . But , I don’t know , today I’ll go out of hospital . In three days … three days … I go back to work . And I’ll have to see them together . It’s a curse , like I said before . To have her near me and to be far away from her heart . I really don’t understand Sara …. But maybe is all about love . I really think she loves Grissom , because after knowing her for so long I believe she’ll marry only from love . But now I told her … hell what a idiot was I ! I really should have kept my mouth shout . To make a secret of this . My love .
Someone told me one day that I was born under a lucky star , that I’m smart and things like it . But , where is my luck now ? It just disappeared . I’ll give all that I have in my life just for a chance with Sara … to turn back time . To make her love me . But I know I can’t .Faith made the choice and for me she chose sufferance . But I wonder if she ever had a doubt before saying yes . Only a little one .
Me and my hopeful thoughts . No , I bet she didn’t have because else she’d never marry . What can in say ? I’ll have to wish them a happy life together .
….
I am back to work . Today . I don’t want to go , but I have to because Grissom asked me to . But I wanna talk to Sara for a moment and find out what I need to find out . I enter the lab and everyone greets me . They say I’m a hero … but what if they knew I’m a coward ? Such a coward … I never had the guts to tell the woman I love about my feelings until it was too late … so I’m no hero . Just an idiot , a fool . I’m pathetic . I cry here for things I never did … like I want to turn back time . Impossible .
I’m going to enter the break room and probably I’ll see them together . I wonder if she told him about what I said , but probably she didn’t . But it’ll hurt so much seeing her with another man . But if she’ll be happy I’ll be happy to . But her reaction at the lab is haunting me , it didn’t seem that I was totally indifferent to her . Like … she always thought otherwise and my words messed up her world .
I enter the break room . She’s talking to Grissom . Her husband . Nick and Warrick are talking to Cath . They don’t seem to observe me . I take a deep breath and greet them . Nick and Catherine jump to their feet to welcome me . She just turns her head and looks at me . I can see pain in here eyes . After hours of talking with the guys , sharing cases and such , they leave one by one . Grissom , Cath , Nick , Warrick .
Sara doesn’t leave . After Nick steps out , she see that I wanna leave too . She puts in front of me . Like she wants to tell me something . I take a seat .
“What is it ?” I ask her .
“You were saying the truth ? ” she looks into my eyes and sees confusion “at the hospital … you told me you love me …”
“I did , yeah”
“You weren’t lying ?”
“No , I love you”
“You know , Greg , it hurts … so much … because … I love you too you know ?”
“What … Sara .. it can’t be … you don’t see ? If you loved me you wouldn’t have marry him ! “ I yell “and when you ran from the hospital … that isn’t love Sara … ”
“Greg” she takes my face in her hands “look into my eyes . I love you ! ”
“Then why you married him ?”
……
