speedfanatic05 said:
Katie...hmmm. Because she is Katie, she gets away with bustin' into the men's bathroom, and Speed really seems like he doesn't have a problem with it. Must be the nature of their relationship
Why do I feel like this fic could have it's own Shipper Central? :lol:
Thanks for the review!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hummerhome
Anni: *flips channel on tv*
Horatio: *walks in* Hi.
Anni: *clutching kleenex* Hey.
Horatio: ...You okay?
Anni: Yeah, I was just watching my favourite soap opera.
Horatio: ...On the Food Network?
Anni: Chef Ramsay runs a tight ship.
Horatio: Is this about something else?
Anni: Oh no you don't. I will not be part of Horatio Caine hour.
Horatio: I've barely said anything in 3 days.
Anni: You don't have to say anything for it to be Horatio Caine hour.
Horatio: *sits* Tell me what's wrong.
Anni: Can you cure cancer?
Horatio: Um...not yet, I don't think. Give it time.
Anni: *frowns*
Horatio: So when
is joking appropriate?
Anni: When I don't have Puffs spread out all over the Hummerhome.
Horatio: I see. So, why the question about cancer?
Anni: Have you not been paying attention? My brain is rotting away as we speak.
Horatio: Ah yes.
Anni: And I'm just feeling a bit down right now, which sucks because I hate feeling this way. I wish there was this big happy pill I could take.
Horatio: Prozac?
Anni: *rolls eyes*
Horatio: Sorry. I've been spending way too much time with Lora.
Anni: What's the deal between you two anyway? Are you together or not?
Horatio: I'm not sure. *rubs chin* I should check with her.
Anni: And whatever happened to Kristin?
Horatio: *blank stare*
Anni: Um, your girlfriend.
Horatio: OH. I thought you said Yelina for a second there.
Anni: God, you're worse than Speed.
Horatio: I wouldn't say that...I haven't actually gotten married to anyone yet....in this life.
Anni: So back to my problem.
Horatio: You were the one who changed the subject.
Anni: *frowns* Let's not point fingers.
Horatio: Okay.
Anni: *sigh* Anyway, I kind of did something completely stupid. I asked Speed to kill me.
Horatio: ...
Anni: Exactly. I mean, it's not like I gave him a gun or anything, he sucks at using those. I just wanted to know that he would do anything to ease my suffering, even if it meant putting me out of my misery altogether.
Horatio: What did he say?
Anni: He said no. Who says no to that?
Horatio: Who says
yes to that?
Anni: Okay here's how this conversation goes. I make the witty rhetorics and you stick to the fatherly Jesusness.
Horatio: No problem.
Anni: So I guess he doesn't love me as much as...well actually, we don't really have that much of a...well, we do but it's...I don't know.
Horatio: I think the fact that he said no, demonstrates a lot of love.
Anni: He wants me to suffer?
Horatio: No, I don't think that.
Anni: So what am I supposed to do? This is literally killing me and I'm miserable and I'm not feeling very supported right now.
Horatio: You are, you are supported.
Anni: See? That's the Horatio Caine I grew to admire.
Horatio: *lifts brow* You admire me?
Anni: Well, yeah. I guess I do. You're always so calm and...in control.
Horatio: And you feel like you aren't.
Anni: I don't know what I am.
Horatio: *pats Anni's back*
Anni: ...I'm not a child.
Horato: *lifts hand* Oh. Right.
Beach
Lora: *bends over* Ew, that's so gross.
Heather: *kneels* Is that a crab?
Lora: Let's poke it with a stick.
Heather: *looks at Lora*
Lora: What? We're supposed to be trying new things on this trip.
Heather: Yes, like food and cultures, not crab poking.
Lora: Fine. *sigh* We'll go poke that old naked sleeping guy. *grabs stick, walks away*
Heather: WAIT FOR ME!
Near old naked sleeping guy
Heather: Wait wait wait, you're going to do it all wrong.
Lora: How can you poke an old guy the wrong way?
Heather: Make sure he's asleep.
Lora: OMG MATLOCK'S HERE!
Heather: ...
Lora: He's asleep. *reaches out stick* Should I count?
Heather: What difference will it make?
Lora: *shrugs* Just so we're on the same page.
Heather: There are pages?
Lora: Well, more like big bluey-grey billboard-type things.
Heather: Just poke him already.
Lora: *pokes guy with stick*
Heather: Ew, the skin's not coming back up.
Lora: That means we have to poke him harder. *jabs stick into guy*
Heather: OMG not that far!
Lora: Shut up, this is a fine art. Don't distract me. *pokes guy with stick*
Heather: ...
Lora: *pulling stick* It's stuck in his butt crack.
Heather: Run.
Lora: *turns around, leaps forward*
Cop: *grabs Lora and Heather* Ahem.
Lora: THE FUZZ! HIDE!
Heather: I think he's already spotted us.
Lora: Oops.
Jail cell, Spain
Heather: *glaring*
Lora: How was I supposed to know poking an old man with a stick was illegal?
Heather: I didn't know I could be an accomplice to someone so STUPID.
Lora: You encouraged me.
Heather: *rolls eyes*
Lora: It's not like can identify us. He was asleep.
Heather: What would you think if you were asleep on the beach and someone came up and started jabbing you with a stick?
Lora: Free massage.
Heather: *covers eyes*
Picnic table, under large tree
Speed: *eats soup*
Katie: *runs over, sits* Okay so I just thought about something. It's going to be Anni's birthday soon, right? We should throw her a big party. Show her we care.
Speed: That sounds nice.
Katie: Excellent! I need to buy the balloons, the food, the cake, the candles--wait how old is she going to be?
Speed: *frowns*
Katie: Hm, older than me but younger than you. So I'll get five candles.
Speed: Five?
Katie: She'll feel extra young.
Speed: She's not old.
Katie: Um, she's older than me by a lot making her just plain old.
Speed: I'm sure you can mention that at her party.
Katie: *smiles* Remember that time you threw me against Horatio's desk a-
Speed: *chokes*
Katie: Don't worry, I didn't tell him about that. Although I still wouldn't recommend taking a kit to the room.
Speed: *staring at Katie*
Katie: Anyway, it reminded me of that funny birthday card I found last week. I was going to buy it for her but it obviously won't reflect your relationship with her.
Speed: *frowns*
Katie: What kind of cake does she like?
Speed: *goes back to eating soup*
Katie: OH I am so buying her some male strippers. *opens black book* Is Eric available?
Speed: Are you on crack?
Katie: Not unless coffee counts. But you wouldn't know anything about that.
Speed: What, crack, or coffee?
Katie: *laughs* Obviously not crack.
Speed: *stands, grabs Katie* Okay, how about you go talk to Anni about her birthday.
Katie: But it's supposed to be a surprise.
Speed: You're so damn loud, she could probably hear you from the Hummerhome. So go discuss it with her.
Katie: But she won't approve of male strippers.
Speed: No wonder why.
Katie: ...Female strippers?
Speed: *rolls eyes*
Katie: *looks down at arms* You have quite the grip there, Speedy boy.
Speed: Go. Away.
Katie: Look, I'm just as concerned about Anni as you are and I can't help that I want to lighten the mood. I mean, isn't that what she would have wanted?
Speed: She isn't dead!
Katie: *crosses arms* FINE. I like teasing you, is that a crime? It helps me forget about the fact that my best friend is sitting by herself crying her eyes out.
Speed: And that's exactly why you should talk to HER, not me.
Katie: ...I don't know what to say to her.
Speed: You don't have to write her an essay.
Katie: That's fine, 'cause I don't know how to write an essay.
Speed: Buy her a card or something.
Katie: *smiles*
Speed: Not
that kind of card.
Katie: Can I buy
you that kind of card? They have those ones where you can record your voice and it-
Speed: No.
Katie: *sits on table*
Speed: I thought you were leaving.
Katie: *bursts into tears*
Speed: *looks around*
Katie: *covers eyes, crying*
Speed: *angry sigh* What.
Katie: This is so screwed up! She's the best person I know, she doesn't deserve to be in pain and in fear all the time! And she doesn't want my help! She wants to die!
Speed: ...So...you're not faking this.
Katie: Does it look like I'm faking this! God, you're such an idiot. *crying*
Speed: *sits*
Katie: *sniffs*
Speed: I'm sorry.
Katie: *waves hand* I should be apologizing to you. I was totally inappropriate. I tend to do that when I'm upset. And I should have been more sympathetic to your situation. *wipes eye* I mean, you're probably feeling completely helpless right now and you probably didn't plan for this to happen and I can tell you love her but it's hard to love someone when they won't let you in and when they do, it's completely out of left field and you're just, keeping all of it inside and hoping that it'll all blow over but you know it won't so you're stuck in a perpetual cycle of uncertainty and pain. And on top of that, you're just trying to go about things as normally as possible so you don't excite her and cause more suffering but you can't be a rock forever and you're scared that eventually you'll break down and just start destroying everything in sight but you don't want to stomp over her situation because you know it's much worse but you're not sure she'll ever understand that you don't know how to support her because you don't know how to reassure
yourself.
Speed: *stares at Katie*
Katie: I don't know, that's what I got when I walked over here. I mean, you were sitting alone eating soup under a tree. No one eats soup in 100 degree weather.
Speed: No one's ever quite...put it that way to me before.
Katie: That's because people think that under that cold, gruff exterior, you're even colder inside. I happen to know it isn't true.
Cellphone rings
Speed: *opens phone* Yeah, it's Speed.
Katie: *looks over*
Speed: Okay. *closes phone* Lora and Heather are in some trouble and H wants to get going. *stands, leaves*
Cell, Spain
Lora: *plays harmonica*
Heather: Where the hell did you get that?
Lora: Underneath the bench.
Heather: Ew.
Lora: *shrugs* Whatever passes the time.
Heather: What's with you anyway? You're so weird.
Lora: Weird? I'll have you know I am not weird, just very very unique. And that makes me better than you.
Heather: How does being weird make you better than me?
Lora: It just does.
Heather: It could also get you some diseases. Seriously put the harmonica down.
Cop: *throws bread onto floor, walks away*
Heather: Yeah thanks! I really appreciate cardboard for dinner.
Lora: Lighten up. The team will find us soon enough. *eats bread*
Heather: I heard we're going to Vegas after this.
Lora: Vegas? Wow, more opportunities to get thrown in the slammer.
Heather: Apparently the team's been to Vegas before but then Eric got kicked out.
Lora: Just Eric?
Heather: That was back in the day.
Lora: You sure seem to know a lot about 'back in the day'.
Heather: I read Katie's diary. It's pretty graphic.
Lora: Ooh do tell.
Heather: Sorry, this cell is PG-13.
Lora: *squints* Not according to the graffiti on this wall. Is that a body part, or an elephant?
Heather: Looks like a seven.
Horatio: *knocks on bars*
Heather: *looks over, stands*
Lora: Oh good. I always appreciate it when you knock on the bars before entering. Can we go now?
Horatio: Who poked the old man with a stick?
Heather: Lora did.
Horatio: I suspected as much. You know what I told you about poking the elderly.
Lora: *sigh* If they're not dead, don't touch.
Horatio: Exactly. Now, you two are going to learn a lesson.
Heather: You're not going to make us resort to cannibalism, right?
Horatio: No. You're going to spend the night here.
Lora: *slams self up against bars* You have to get me out of here. I've seen the crazy look in her eyes, I won't make it.
Heather: Hey.
Horatio: Don't poke the elderly. *walks away*
Lora: BUT I POKE YOU ALL THE TIME! Ugh. *sits* Thanks a lot Heather.
Heather: *frowns*
Hummerhome, side of the road
Colton: So, you called us away from the beach just so you could leave their asses in jail?
Horatio: I'm sure Lora will try to escape. We're here as a precaution.
Colton: Can't we leave her here forever?
Horatio: Would you like to be left here?
Colton: There are times I consider it.
Calleigh: Oh this prison is so pretty. It's all orange and blue.
Speed: Yeah that's to make the public happier when they walk past a decrepid community. It happens in Miami all the time.
Calleigh: Well...it sure worked on me.
Delko: Are they the only ones in there?
Horatio: At the time, yes.
Delko: They might as well just sleep in here tonight.
Horatio: You're not comparing the Hummerhome to a prison, are you?
Speed: Actually, that's a good analogy.
Delko: HA.
Bedroom, 7pm
Anni: *reading book*
Speed: *walks in* Hey.
Anni: *flips page, sings* I don't wanna wait another minute, put me out of my misery, I could read your mind baby you're not in it, we're not what we used to be, no you wouldn't have to lie to me if you would only let me go and I don't wanna wait another minute to hear something that I already knowwwwwwww..
Speed: *lifts brow*
Anni: *lifts head* Oh hi. I was just singing Backstreet Boys. Great group.
Speed: I get it, you're angry. *sits on bed*
Anni: *hops out of bed, opens armoir*
Speed: Anni-
Anni: You know what I was thinking? I was thinking that maybe
you could test out the couch cushions in the Hummerhome for the next oh, 6 months or so.
Speed: And this is because I wouldn't euthanize you.
Anni: I don't want to talk to boys right now.
Speed: Boys?
Anni: Yes, boys. Men are people who support and love their wives.
Speed: Okay, you know what? I'm getting a little tired of this. I've supported you and I've loved you and all you've done is push me away. And when you finally do let me in, you ask me to do something so outrageously STUPID. Did you ever stop to think that maybe I don't want to do this
because I support you?
Anni: Yeah Horatio and I had a conversation about it this afternoon. And I've decided he's wrong.
Speed: Well he isn't, SURPRISE.
Anni: Don't take that tone with me.
Speed: Oh I'm sorry, was I not being supportive enough?
Anni: *throws pillow* Get out.
Speed: *throws pillow back* No. We're going to work this out like adults and if you still want to die by the end of the night, fine.
Anni: Fine.
Speed: Fine.
Anni: *crosses arms*
Speed: *places hands on hips*
Anni: *frowns*
Speed: *narrows eyes*
Anni: *angry sigh* Sorry. I should have realized that even though I'M the one suffering here and I'M the one feeling a bit morbid, it's not all about ME.
Speed: That's not working it out. Are you really only mad at me because of this, or are you mad at yourself?
Anni: Why would I be mad at myself?
Speed: Because you're not acting like yourself, and yes you're in a pretty cruddy situation and there's nothing you can do but BE angry or be frustrated or morbid.
Anni: ...I never thought of it that way.
Speed: And you know what? I'm frustrated too. So now we're both angry, frustrated and I don't want to fight.
Anni: Me neither.
Speed: *nods* Good.
Anni: *runs over, hugs Speed*
Speed: *falls against wall* OOF.
Anni: If I ever get snippy again, just remind me of right now, kay?
Speed: No problem.
Anni: And tell Katie no male strippers.
Speed: *smirks*
TBC..............................
