Quotes you WON'T hear - Pt 2

Dynamo1 said:
Nick Stokes: Hey, Gris?
Gil Grissom: Yes, Nick?
Nick: Ecklie just sent me a package and I'm worried and confused.
Grissom: Why is that?
Nick: It is a miniature scene of my bedroom, and it shows that the alarm clock is broken.
Grissom: Maybe you might want to be at work on time from now on.
Click to expand...

Grissom: ... and why has Ecklie been in your room?
Nick: Monopoly parties.
Grissom: And I wasn't invited?
Nick: No. Only swinging singles are allowed. You stole one of our top members.
Grissom: I did?
Nick: Yes! I wouldn't be so late if I didn't stay awake worrying about Sara being overworked in your private entomology tutoring sessions! *walks away angrily*

Grissom: :rolleyes:

(yes, I know it's awful... but I couldn't resist! :p )
 
Grissom: Sheesh, Ecklie, don't get your panties in a bunch!
Ecklie: How'd you know I was wearing panties?

Ecklie: Hey where'd you get these pictures?
Grissom: Call it fighting one hidden camera with another. Although I'm gonna have nightmares about what I saw for the rest of my life. I couldn't even bear to save the tape, I burned it. *the computer screen explodes* See? Even the computer couldn't take it.
 
:lol:

This just popped in my head, I watched Shrek recently.

Nick and Grissom are at the scene of Ecklie's murder :rolleyes:

Nick: What you got?
Grissom: Nothing really. (Grissom removes the sheet from Ecklie's bed.) It's a Thong!
 
Haha! Good ones guys.. :D :lol:

Grissom: But you're, like, really pretty.
Sara: Thank you.
Grissom: So you agree?
Sara: What?
Grissom: You think you're really pretty?
Sara: Oh... I don't know
Grissom: Oh, my God, I love your bracelet. Where did you get it?
Sara: Oh, my mom made it for me.
Grissom: It's adorable.
Ecklie: Oh, it's so fetch.
Grissom: What is "fetch"?
Ecklie: Oh, it's, like, slang. From England.

I just love the idea of CSI: Mean Girls.. :D ;)
 
We see a tumbleweed tumbling across the screen along various streets in Las Vegas. The Sons of the Pioneers' song "Tumbling Tumbleweeds" begins playing over the shots.

The Stranger: (Voiceover, Sam Sheppard providing the voice) A way out west there was once this feller... feller I wanna tell you about... A feller by the name of Gilbert Grissom...

(Video shows the interior of a Lucky's Supermarket in Vegas as it zooms in on Grissom, shopping early in the morning in his Bathrobe over some Madras shorts and a stained white V-neck undershirt, with sunglass on his face and wearing flip flops)

The Stranger: (Voiceover) At least that was the name his lovin' parents gave him. Only he never had much use for it himself. Instead he called himself, the Bug-dude! Hmph! Bug-dude! That's not a name anyone would hang on himself where I come from--not voluntarily anyhoo. But then a lot about the Bug-dude didn't make sense, including the place in which he lived.

(Grissom is seen inspecting cartons of half-n-half, looking at expiration dates. He finally opens one and sniffs it, getting some on his beard.)

The Stranger: (Voiceover) They say Las Vegas is the city of luck. I didn't find it to be that anyhoo. But I'll allow that there are some lucky folks there. But sometimes, there's a man... he's... wal... the man for his time'n place.

(We now see Grissom writing out a check to pay for the half-n-half, some still dripping from his mustache. He write's the check for $0.69 as a teenage cashier girl stands there absent-mindedly and chews gum)

The Stranger: (Voiceover) And that's the Bug-dude, in Las Vegas...

(Grissom is seen making his way back into his apartment carrying his CSI kit and the grocery bag with the half-n-half)

The Stranger: (Voiceover) Ah Hell! I done innerduced him enough... Ya'll just watch...

(As Grissom comes on into his apartment, he doesn't notice that Hodges--with surfer long hair--and Archie are inside, by the door, leaning against the wall. He stops for a second with a "Huh?" look on his face when suddenly Hodges grabs Grissom from behind and pushes him towards the bathroom, pushing Grissom's head into the toilet bowl.)

Hodges: Where's the Evidence, Grissom! Cath said you're good for it!!! Where's the *bleeping* evidence Grissom? WHERE'S THE BLEEPING EVIDENCE, *BLEEP*HEAD?!?!?!

Grissom: (Sputtering as Hodges lifts his head back up) Uh... I think it's down there somewhere... lemme take another look!!!
 
Hodges: Don't... *BLEEP* with us! Your wife owes evidence to Warrick Brown, that means YOU owe evidence to Warrick Brown!

(Archie has moved over to the center of Grissom's living room--visible from the bathroom. He turns his back to Grissom, we hear his fly unzip and he turns his head to Grissom.)

Archie: Ever thus to deadbeats, Grissom! (Archie begins urinating on Grissom's Oriental Rug)

Grissom: No... don't do that... not on the rug... man...

Hodges: You see what happens, Grissom? You see what happens?

Grissom: Grissom? Nobody calls me Grissom! You got the wrong guy, I'm the Bug-Dude... man!

Hodges: You're name is Grissom, Grissom. Your wife is Catherine.

Grissom: My wife... Catherine? Does this place look like I'm *bleep*ing married? The toilet seat's up, man!

(Grissom fishes his Sunglasses out of the toilet, puts the seat back down, sits on the toilet seat and puts his sunglasses back on Horatio Caine style. Hodges suddenly looks confused.)

Hodges: Archie?

Archie: Yeah? (Archie has finished relieving himself on the rug and is zipping up his pants)

Hodges: Isn't he supposed to be a Coroner something?

Archie: *BLEEP!*

Hodges: Yeah. Whaddaya think?

Archie: He looks like a *BLEEP*ing loser!

Grissom: Hey! At least I'm housebroken!

(Archie and Hodges begin exiting Grissom's apartment)

Archie: *Bleep*ing time wasted!

Hodges: Thanks a lot, @$$hole!

(Hodges slams the door closed)

Bob Dylan's "The Man in Me" begins playing and we see funky colored credits rolling for "The Big Le-BUG-sky".
 
You guys are so funny! X3 Here's my shot. ^^'

(It's morning. Gil and Sara are in their apartment.)

Sara: (yelling from the bathroom) How many times have I told you to put the lid down, Gil?!
Gil: (yells back from the bedroom) You know what, Sara? Screw you!
Sara: Too late. (pokes her head around the corner with an evil grin)
Gil: Damn! (tosses a pillow at her)
 
[LVPD Ball. Grissom is behind a piano playing some background music with Sara at his side. They both have their vests on.]

Sara: Testing, one, two, three. [Mic buzzes]

Grissom: Check, Check. Eww, hot mic, we got a hot mic here.

Sara: Hot mic, can we get an A/V person here.

Grissom: An A/V man. One who enforces the Audio laws.

Sara: Thank you much better. Always those hot mics.

Grissom: Good Evening. I am Gilbert Grissom. And this is my lovely partner in crime, Sara Sidle Grissom.

Sara: As you can probably tell, we are not your scheduled band, the Cop Rockers.

Grissom: But we are musicians...

Sara: We are the head of the music department at Alta Dena Middle School, and while you are not students...

Grissom: We do have something in common.

Sara: Guns and bulletproof vests. And Undersherrif, I think you should put that finger down.

Grissom: Had a little too much to drink there.

Sara: A little too much. I would like to give a shout out to my friend Nick Stokes, who has had one of the highest solve rates as a CSI.

Grissom: Kudos, Nick.

Sara: Kudos, Kudos.

Grissom: Well, tonight is a night of Crime stopping, action, and most importantly, love.

Sara: Because behind every crime is an act of Love.

Grissom: That reminds of the time Sara took out Conrad Ecklie for me in the name of love.

Sara: Very satisfying experience. So let's celebrate.

Grissom: So, get on your dancing shoes and feel the blues, cause tonight's the night the cops won't lose.

[playing Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliot's "Get Ur Freak On" as they hum to the tune]

Sara: "Let's see you break it down on the underground!"

Grissom: "I told your mother..."

Sara: "STOP!"

Both: "You can't stop me now!
Listen to me now!"

Grissom: "Get your freak on!"

Sara: "Now go!"

Grissom: "Get your freak on!"

Sara: "Now go!"

Grissom: "Get your freak on!"

Sara: "Now go!"

Grissom: "Get your freak on!"

Sara: "Is that your chick?"

Grissom: "HOLLA!"

Both: "Get your freak on!"

[plays Destiny's Child's "Bootylicious]

Sara: "Grissom, can you handle this?"

Grissom: "Sara, can I handle this?"

Sara: "I don't think you can handle this!
I don't think you're ready for this jelly!"

Grissom: "I don't think I'm ready for this jelly!"

Sara: "I don't think you're ready for this 'cause my body too bootylicious for you babe!"

Grissom: "Your body's too bootylicious for you babe!"

[playing Ricky Martin's "She Bangs"]

Both: "She bangs, she bangs!
Oh, baby, when she moves, she moves,
I go crazy 'cause she looks like a flower but she stings like a bee,
like every girl in history!"

[playing Jay-Z's "IZZO"]

Grissom: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the eighth wonder of the world. The flow of the century, it's timeless. Ho-oh!

Sara: "H to the izzo, V to the izzay!"

Grissom: "Shizzle my nizzle used to dribble down in V.A.!"

[Grissom keeps playing]

Sara: Goodnight, Ladies and Gentlemen!


If you don't get it, you should go rent the best of Will Ferrell at your local blockbuster or movie renting facility.
 
Hey everyone it says "Quotes" you won't hear, this isn't for short stories and such, that belongs in "Fan Fiction". Thank you.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top