~Quotes You WON'T Hear # 3~

Stetler and Calleigh walk into the lab one night, arguing. As they enter, a gunshot rings out and hits Calleigh's purse. They see Natalia holding a gun.

Calleigh (shocked): You shot my purse!

Natalia: Calleigh, I am so sorry. I heard footsteps and-and arguing...

Calleigh: That was Stetler! I was talking to him because I caught him in the ladies room today in a bikini! ....You shot my purse!

Natalia: At least I didn't shoot Stetler...!

Calleigh: I'd rather you have shot Stetler!

Horatio (watching from afar): I've survived a terrorist attack, my Hummer exploding, the Mala Noche. One night I'll belch and stable-mable here will blow my head off!
 
Horatio and Natalia are interrogating a suspect.

H: You work at a seafood diner, and we found a herring fish scale on the victim.

Suspect: I have no idea how that got there.

H: Mr Anderson, have you ever heard of the Great Herring War?

Natalia: The Great Herring War?

H: Yes, Ms. Boa Vista. Two families living on the coast of Norway controlled two of the most fertile...herring waters, separately. It would seem in their best interest to band together, but they could not figure out what to do with the herring.

Suspect (sarcastically): Well, that's understandable. I mean, the possibilities are overwhelming!

H: One family wanted to eat the herring, and the other wanted to train them for the circus.

Natalia: ....Weren't they kind of hard to see riding on the elephants?

H: Not that circus, ma'am. A herring circus. Sort of like Sea World, only smaller.....much, much smaller. The herring would perform acts. such as juggling. They juggled tiny ginsew knives. Dangerous, really...could have...fileted themselves.

Suspect (about to burst out laughing): Lieutenant...did they ever shoot a herring out of a cannon?

Long silence.

H: Only once.

Both the suspect and Natalia burst out laughing uncontrollably.

H: But they...shot him into a tree. After that, no other herring... (sunglasses) would do it.
 
H walks into the lab, sulking. Eric and Ryan are there too.

Ryan: H! What happened?

H: Gentlemen, I just had sex with Calleigh.

Ryan: So?

H: She died.

Eric: OH, H.....

H: Then I talked to Stetler about me, how everyone I sleep with ends up dead....and he didn't believe me! He said, "Let's see, sleep with me!" So I did. And Stetler died!
 
Ryan: *bouncing with excitment* Hey H, what do you get if you cross a Parrot with a Tiger?

Horatio: :rolleyes: *puts on sunnies* I don't know, Mr Wolfe, what do you get when you cross a Parrot with a Tiger?

Ryan: I don't know either, H, but you sure should listen to it when it starts to talk.

Horatio: *sighs* That wasn't really you I saw leaving the bookies the other day, was it, Mr Wolfe?

:D
 
H: *smashes sunnies on the ground* Damn these sunglasses, I'm not playing anymore....I.....*Pulls new sunnies out of pocket*....quit!
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh :eek:
 
Ryan: H, how come you always call me by my last name?

Natalia: Yeah. How come you always call me "Ms. Boa Vista". You refer to Alexx, Eric and Calleigh and even Frank and Stetler by their first names, but not Ryan and I. Why? I mean, Eric I get cause he was your brother-in-law, but...

H: I always called Tim Speedle by his last name or just "Speed".

R & N: See, why did he get a special nickname?

H: I just didn't always feel like saying his full last name.

N: Then why not just call him Tim?

H: Why are you two asking all these useless questions?

R: We're just wondering.

H: (puts on shades) What kind of special nickname would you two like? Wolfeman and Snake?

N: I think you should reserve Snake for Ron Saris, don't you?
 
GregNickRyanFan said:
Ryan: H, how come you always call me by my last name?

Natalia: Yeah. How come you always call me "Ms. Boa Vista". You refer to Alexx, Eric and Calleigh and even Frank and Stetler by their first names, but not Ryan and I. Why? I mean, Eric I get cause he was your brother-in-law, but...

H: I always called Tim Speedle by his last name or just "Speed".

R & N: See, why did he get a special nickname?

H: I just didn't always feel like saying his full last name.

N: Then why not just call him Tim?

H: Why are you two asking all these useless questions?

R: We're just wondering.

H: (puts on shades) What kind of special nickname would you two like? Wolfeman and Snake?

N: I think you should reserve Snake for Ron Saris, don't you?
Click to expand...

I've noticed that too!!!! So funny!
 
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