~Quotes You WON'T Hear #2~

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ooooo staying on subject of Horatio's sunglasses...

Calleigh- Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap
Eric- What's wrong?
Calleigh- You know how H, is always calm, cool and collected?
Eric- Yeah
Calleigh- Well he lost his sunglasses and well... I think he reverted to a 5 year old
Eric- OMG!
Calleigh- I'm not done. We went looking for the glasses and... Well... umm...
Eric- Spit it out!
Calleigh- I kind of lost Horatio.
Eric- Oh crap... Wait Alexx found him!
Alexx- See Horatio without out your sunglasses you are a mere boy
Horatio- Thanks Alexx * places sunglasses around neck*
Ryan- Hey, H, those aren't your sunglasses, got new ones?
Horatio drops to the ground bawling like a baby. Eric, Calleigh and Alexx start to chuck random objects at Ryan who runs screaming.
Calleigh- Damn it! Now what?
Eric- Hey there are H's glasses!
Alexx- Here Horatio it's all better now.
Horatio stands puts on shades and looks out at the ocean.
Horatio- We never close.
Calleigh- He just goes from one extreme to another.
Eric and Alexx- 0_o

Sounded better in my head but whatever... :D :lol:
 
These are great!

Horatio, Ryan and Calliegh are in the lift at the lab. They stop at a floor along the way up and lots of people pile in. Horation starts to look uneasy.

Calliegh: What's up, Horatio?
H: I'm claustraphobic.
Ryan: What does that mean?
Calliegh: It means he's afraid of Santa Claus.
Ryan: Ho ho ho!
Calliegh: Stop it Ryan, you're scaring him!
Ryan: Ho ho ho!
H: Its not working.
Ryan: Darn.

You can blame that VERY bad quote on the episode of Spongebob I was just watching.
 
There was this ad on LivingTv recently, and it seems they're buying into the whole Horatio sunglasses thing, and they used this song!! :lol: So here's something that probably never will happen, inspired by that ad...


*Ryan walks up to Horatio's office, knocking on the door*

RYAN: Hey, H...

*He puts his ear to the door.*

RYAN: Horatiooo??

*He opens the door, his eyes bugging.

Horatio is dancing about, swinging his tie around his head, his sunnies on, and singing:*

'Things are goin' great
And they're only gettin' better
I'm doin' all right
Gettin' good grades
The future's so bright
I gotta wear shades
I gotta wear shades'

*Ryan blinks, before Horatio turns around and sees him. He just stops for a moment, before starting to dance again.*

'I got a job waitin'
For my graduation
50 thou a year
will buy a lotta beer'

*Ryan slowly backs out.*

RYAN: Note to self, tell everyone to stay away from H's office...

*walks away, humming 'You gotta wear shades'.*

RYAN: Where my shades at??

I've got another one, but I gotta work out some kinks. Post it tomorrow... ;) :p
 
I remember seeing that advert! No can deny the mighty powers of the Sunglasses!

Yeah, I don't know where that came from either. . . :D
 
Calleigh: I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as it was a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Did the corpse feel lucky? Well, did he, punk?
Horatio: You don't remember if it was five or six shots? Didn't you use the numbered tent cards?
Calleigh: Ooops.

Stetler: You're lucky I'm not indicting you for assault with intent to commit murder.
Horatio: What?
Stetler: Where the hell does it say that you've got a right to kick down doors, torture suspects, deny medical attention and legal counsel? Where have you been? Does Escobedo ring a bell? Miranda? I mean, you must have heard of the Fourth Amendment. What I'm saying is that man had rights.
Horatio: Well, we have to keep the ratings up.
 
Leftyguitar said:
Actaully it was pretty funny.
But anyway...

Eric: H, what's up with the shades? It's raining cats and dogs out here.

H: They are magic! *in deep, heroic voice* I, Super H, demand it stop raining!

*rain stops*

Eric: I hope that was a conidence.
Click to expand...

LOl.. i was jus looking through here.. all of them are funny.. but this one is RELE cute.. LOLOOLOLOL.. i love the end.. LOL.. XDD~

Dynamo1 said:
Stetler: You're lucky I'm not indicting you for assault with intent to commit murder.
Horatio: What?
Stetler: Where the hell does it say that you've got a right to kick down doors, torture suspects, deny medical attention and legal counsel? Where have you been? Does Escobedo ring a bell? Miranda? I mean, you must have heard of the Fourth Amendment. What I'm saying is that man had rights.
Horatio: Well, we have to keep the ratings up.
Click to expand...

omigosh.. ROFL.. XDDD~ o man.. XDD~
 
Dynamo1, nice 'Dirty Harry' quotes!! :D I loved Calleigh's one, and Horatio's was hilarious!! :lol:

This one is kinda long... be warned, and if it's shortened, understood completely... Here's something you would NEVER see! If you haven't seen the recent Lynx ad, you will be completely lost, but you'll get the drift... hopefully... :p This is completely sexist, and being a girl, I should not have done this!! :rolleyes: But this is really to show off 'the Horatio effect'!! :lol: Plus, it's really funny!! :D


'The Lynx Effect - Miami Style'!


*Horatio walks out of the lift, and walks over to Paula the receptionist.*

HORATIO: Morning, Paula, any messages?

(Paula looks up and sees Horatio. She inhales slowly and gets a glint in her eye. She pulls her hair down from her comb.*

PAULA: Bom chicka wah wah!

*Horatio raises his eyebrows, as Paula gets up and starts gyrating about.*

PAULA: Bom chicka wah wah!!

*Horatio gives a look of 'Oookay' before walking away.
He passes Valera, who's carrying a pile of case files.*

HORATIO: Morning, Valera...

*She inhales slowly.
She turns and watches him, and drops the files to the floor.*

VALERA: Bom chicka bom chicka wah wah!

*Horatio turns back, his eyes wide. Valera starts dancing.*

VALERA: Bom chicka wah waaahh!!

*She beckons to him. Horatio turns and walks to the lab.*

HORATIO: Natalia, do you have the DNA...

*Natalia smells him, turns and says,*

NATALIA: Bom chicka wah wah! Ooohh!! Bom chicka chicka wah wah!!

*She blows him a kiss, but Horatio sighs wearily, making a hasty exit, heading to the ballistics lab.*

HORATIO: Calleigh! I...

*Calleigh inhales, her eyes widening and her gun clatters to the work table.

She takes off her earphones and glasses, throwing them down.

She faces Horatio, dipping her hips.*

CALLEIGH: Bom chicka wah wow!! Oooh, oohh, oohh!!

*She dances around him.*

CALLEIGH: Oooh, oohh, bom chicka wah wow!! *She slips off her labcoat, winking at him.*

HORATIO: Umm...


RYAN How does he do it?

ERIC: Easy, it's 'the Horatio effect'... *holds up a bottle*

Now with added... *He sprays the air as a girl walks by.*

GIRL: Bom chicka wah wah!!

RYAN: Give!!

*He sprays it. He tries to chat up a girl.*

RYAN: How you doing?

*She walks off...*

ERIC: Bom chicka wah wah...

*Ryan turns in horror.*

ERIC: Bom chicka wah waahh!!

RYAN: AAAAAHHHH!!!

*He runs away, leaving Eric alone. He sprays the bottle, and walks away, to shouts of,*

BOM CHICKA WAH WAH!!

If I made anyone smile by this, that'll be something... :p :lol:
 
LOL BOW CHICKA BOW WOW!!!
I know that advert, makes me laugh at the end.

' I love this country '

Anyway heres a totally crap one just like my other two so ya know

H - Have you seen the weather outside?
Ryan - Yes...
H - Have you noticed how it's all dark and gloomey?
Ryan - No...
H - What? Can't you see the dark clouds as if it's going to rain and the view all black as if no light exists?! Are you blind man?!
Ryan - No and H it's beautiful outside
H - What? No it isn't
Ryan - Try taking off your shades once in a while and you might see things clear
H - Fine * Takes of sunnies * OH THE LIGHT! IT BURNS!!! I'M MELTING!!!! ARRRGGGGHHHHHH!!! * Puts shades back on gasping * I...am...a.....vampire *
Ryan - And I'm the easter rabbit
H - Grrrrr * Slaps Ryan *
Ryan - Ow what was that for?!
H - For taking the micky out of the easter rabbit
Ryan - Okay then.... H..
H - What?
Ryan - It is a beautiful day
* Ryan walks away *
H - I know hehehehe!! * Takes sunnies off and looks at them then starts singing - *
H - You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skys are grey, you'll never know dear, how much I love you, so please don't take my sunshine away!
* Claps *
H - * Turns around. The whole of the team and members of staff are watching him * What?
Crowd - WE LOVE YOU TOO H!!!


Totally crap but ya know
 
Hehe.

The team is at a crime scene at a McDonalds, H stands up.
H: This *puts on sunnies* it a 'super sized' crime scene.
Delko:...I want a burger.
Ryan: yeah me too.
They go inside, Horatio doesn't move.

The team at a crime scene, H says a cheesy one-liner.
H: Hey...psst, guys. Don't look now, but there's a camera, and it's watching us. It's following us EVERYWHERE.
 
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