~Quotes You WON'T Hear #2~

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*voices outside Eric's room* me me me no me me first!
Eric: What is going on out there?
Horatio: The fangirls, they know you're hurt. They're fighting over who gets to take care of you first. Spongebath duty seems extremely popular.
Eric: *Ulp* I shoulda guessed from the way they were all fighting over who got to give me mouth to mouth at the scene.
 
LOL! Nice one!

Horatio: Team, i got terrible news. The Teletubbies, they've, they've been assasinated.
Everyone: No!
Calleigh: Who? Who did this??
Horatio: The bunnies and speakerbox on the grassy knoll.
 
LOL nice one.

Horatio: Team, we're taking a break.
Eric: But H- it's spring break! Miami season- there'll be tons of crimes!
Horatio: Ah...Stetler can have those cases. I frankly don't care. Let's go to LA! OR NY- there are no crimes there.

Sounded better in my head :D As everyone always says
 
Ha! NO crimes in LA or NY. I get it. :lol:

Eric: *sneezes* ACHOO!
Ryan: Bless you.
Eric: *looking at kleenex* Uh oh.
Ryan: What?
Eric: I'm leaking brain lubricant.

Horatio: *walks into room holding little box* Team, i've come to show you a tiny marvel of nature: a single snowflake.
Eric: Before you go on, how did you get a snowflake in Miami?
Horatio: Eric, shut up. Anyways, i think we might learn a lesson from how this utterly unique and exquisite crytal. *pause* Before turns into an ordinary boring molecule of water, just like every other one when you bring it into a room.
Everyone: ....
Horatio: And now, while my analogy sinks in, i'll leave you in drips and go for a drive in my Hummer.
*leaves. long silence*
Everyone: .....HEY!
 
Hunter said:
Ha! NO crimes in LA or NY. I get it. :lol:
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Thanks. :D Yes, I live in LA so I'd know. Very crimey here (??? I don't understand myself anymore)
Hunter said:
Eric: Before you go on, how did you get a snowflake in Miami?
Horatio: Eric, shut up.
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Haha! I don't know why, but the "Eric, shut up" part was the funniest for me. great one, Hunter.

Crime Scene
Alexx: Horatio, this man was brutally murdered.
Horatio: Alexx...the only thing we know is...this man is dead.
*crickets*
Horatio: Where are the goddamn credits? The Who song? I said my line...

Ok I suck. Not very funny. :D
This ones a little better

Child witness
Calleigh (to team): This girl witnessed her father's murder. We don't want her to make a statement, but we need to know what happened.
*silence, everyone looks at H*
Horatio: Don't look at me! I hate kids.
 
Horatio: Alexx, how is Eric?
Alexx: Not good, Horatio. The hospital is flying out a Doctor McDreamy and his staff from Seattle Grace Hospital.
Calleigh: Did you just hear a scream coming from the direction of Las Vegas?
 
Horatio: Don't look at me! I hate kids.
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*laughs ass off* :lol: That...was...really funny! (Even though he LOVES kids!)

Good one Dynamo! (I can't quote it right now. :lol:) I get it, the LV thing, that's hilarious!
 
I'm trying to think of one....ARGH!......i can't. The taste of this food i'm eating is just TOO distracting.

Ok, here goes, but the scientific doctor talk ahead doesn't make sense or anything. Probably doesn't exist. :lol:

Horatio: Well your T blood count was low, and the white blood cells are failing in the nervous and circulatory system...
Suspect: *holds hand up* SRy, i only speek intrnet slang.
Horatio: Oh! Ok. Ok then. *clears throat* U H@VE AiDS! LOLZ!
 
*a shot and a scream is heard in the distance*
Ryan (who just started): Uhm...H? What was that?
H: *puts on sunnies* That, Mr. wolfe...is the sound of a dying animal.
Calleigh: Naw ya'll. That was just me shooting off a few fangirls.


I couldn't help it!! XD
 
LOL I like it :)

*The group is watching Hart's War*
Horatio: There he is!
Ryan: Who?
H: Speedle. I told you he's alive!
Delko: Is not
Horatio: I know it's him, he's just in witness protection! I told you! He lives!

*hangs out with the Speed fans too much*
 
Ryan: Hey H, I think I figured out who the killer is.
H: Not now Ryan. I'm trying to get a bit of surfing in.
Ryan: But H......
H: *shoots Ryan* I said leave me alone!

*dodges flying objects*
Just kidding. Ryan's too cute to shoot.
 
Ryan: But H......
H: *shoots Ryan* I said leave me alone!
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Yeeaaahhh!

Ok, here's a couple.

Eric: I hate scuba diving.

Calliegh: I'm so sick of guns. *throws gun on ground*

Eric: H, i'm sick of scuba diving. Can i take the day off and go skydiving?
Horatio: Why do you just play 'chicken' with a train? Much cheaper way to die.
Eric: *walking away* H is so practical.
Horatio: Oh i am not.

That's all i got! :p
 
^ Continuation

*Eric shows up a few days later bruised and battered*
Calleigh:OMG!! WHAT HAPPENED??
Eric: Well, after H told me not to go skydiving...I went to a bar. And got into a fight. With Ryan. And he beat me. BAD.
Cal: Uhm...Eric? How did Ryan whip YOU in a fight?
Eric: Hey, an opponent that can run between your legs is hard to beat.


I love Ryan and all, but he is kinda short XD
 
Ryan: "H", I have the suspect on ice.

Eric: I'll bring the booze

"H": Well then lets get the rest of the CSI's and party.
 
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