Puzzle Pieces

ladyhunter

ladyhunter

Head of the Swing Shift
Many thanks to edog for the beta :D

Puzzle Pieces

Catherine Willows loved puzzles. Putting them together gave her a ‘high’.

Puzzles were a lot like life: put the pieces together and see if they fit. Sometimes they did, sometimes they didn’t.

She took that same attitude with her job. Either the pieces of evidence fit together or they didn’t. One thing she has learned over the years; is that she couldn’t make them fit together no matter how much she would have liked them to.

Other times, she didn’t know if the pieces fit together until she tried.
But, now a challenge arrived. A new piece of the puzzle and now Catherine has to figure how this new piece fits into her life.

~~~~

“Desert Palms Gynecology Center, how can I help you?” The receptionist inquired in an almost too bubbly manner.

“Hello, this is Catherine Willows, patient number 1145...” Catherine stated in a haze.

“Yes, Ms. Willows, how can we help you?”

“I would like to schedule a test…. A….” Catherine couldn’t bring herself to say it.

“It says here on your chart, Ms. Willows, that your annual exam isn’t scheduled until next year. What type of test are you inquiring about?” The receptionist bubbly voice continued.

“A…a…pregnancy test, I need to verify a pregnancy test.”

This piece of the puzzle didn’t lie. Her hands shook as she held the Early Pregnancy Test. Did she see two lines or four? It didn’t matter, there were blue lines. Catherine could hear herself say the words but couldn’t make her self believe they were true. Not yet anyway.

The receptionist came back on the line, “Ms. Willows, Dr. Torres can get you in on Thursday, two days from now. At 11 am. Does that work for you?”

“11 am will be fine.” Catherine replied then hung up the phone.

Her hands immediately went to her abdomen and stopped.

Am I really pregnant? What’s he going to say? What about Lindsey?



~~~~




“TWINS”, came out of Catherine’s mouth as she lay on the exam table. “You have got to be kidding me!”

Flabbergasted, Catherine turned her head over to the monitor to see for herself what the Tech was already witnessing.

“Yes, about 9 weeks. Relax Ms. Willows.” The Tech instructed Catherine. “I’m going to take a picture for you. Would you like that?”

“Yes,” mumbled Catherine as she touched the monitor with a shaky hand. A tear formed in the corner of her eye as she gently swiped her hand over the two small, white blobs appearing on the screen.

Catherine quietly asked, “Boys, Girls, One of each?”

“It’s too early to tell at this point, but we will be able to tell their sex as they grow.” The Tech replied as she snapped an image.

“There, you are all set now. The doctor would like to see you in her office after you are dressed and ready. I’ll have the picture for you as well.” The Lab Tech informed Catherine as she wiped away the liquid from her belly.

Catherine dressed still in a daze as to what transpired.

Here I am pregnant at age 44; and pregnant with twins. Catherine thought to herself as she stared into the image the Tech left for her.

“Well, Ms. Willows, looks like I’ll be seeing you a lot over the next few months.” Dr. Torres joked as Catherine sat mindlessly in a chair across from the desk.

There was no response from Catherine.

“It seems we have much to discuss.” The doctor spoke again, this time snapping Catherine out of her haze.

Catherine’s mind cleared at the sound of the doctor’s voice.

“Your chart says you are not married. Is that correct?” The doctor asked.

“Yes… I mean… no… I mean we’re not married.” Catherine replied.

“Then I take it this wasn’t a planned pregnancy.” The doctor continued.

“No, it wasn’t.” She answered looking out the window of the office.

“Ms. Willows,” the Doctor once again snapped Catherine back to reality, “tell me about your partner.”

“Well, Catherine started, “he’s a cop. He lives in Seattle”. Catherine then stopped and turned her head to look out the window again.

Doctor Torres wrote down some notes as Catherine continued to stare out the window.


“My birthday, this happened on my birthday.” Catherine blurted out after recalling the events.



FLASHBACK To the last week in March…..

“Thank you for the beautiful purse baby.” Catherine told her daughter as they sat on the couch together.

“You’re welcome Mom. I knew you had your eye on it.” Lindsey Willows winked at her mom.

“So, what movie did you get for us?” Catherine asked digging into a bowl of popcorn.

“Since it’s your birthday, I thought I’d bring out a classic…Halloween. I got the original version starring your friend Jamie Lee Curtis.” Lindsey gushed at her mom.

“Sounds great,” Catherine said as she relaxed into the couch.

About halfway through the movie, Lindsey’s cell phone rang.

“UMMM… Hello?” Her young voice asked into her phone.

Lindsey immediately turned away from her mom and whispered to the caller on the other end of the line.

All Catherine could hear was…”She’s right here. Okay, see you soon, bye.”

“Who was that?” Catherine asked to Lindsey whose face was completely pink.

“AAAHHH No one.” Lindsey squirmed.

“That didn’t sound like no one to me.” Catherine asked getting curious.

The movie continued without further interruption as both Catherine and Lindsey watched until the end when Jamie Lee Curtis’s character took down the dreaded Michael Myers.

“You know what”, Catherine said turning towards Lindsey, “I couldn’t have asked for a better birthday. I love spending time with you.” Catherine smiled.
“But, I think I’m going to call it a night.” Catherine started up the stairs.
“Thanks again for everything; it was great Lindsey, just great.”

“AAHH, Mom, I do have one more present for you.”

Catherine stopped on the third stair.

“Lindsey, I’m tired and I’m up for anything else.” Catherine sighed.

“I’m sure you’ll want this.” Lindsey turned towards the door as Catherine stood on the step.

Lindsey turned towards her mother as the front door swung open. Tony Vartann stepped into the house.

“Actually”, Lindsey began before Catherine could say anything, “it was his idea; I just kept you at home this evening.”

“Well, goodnight Mom, Vartann…” Lindsey commented while she changed the channel on the TV as Tony met Catherine on the stairs.

“I knew you would like it.” Lindsey beamed keeping her eyes on the TV.

End of flashback


“Tony, please say you are happy about this.” Catherine’s voice quivered into the phone.

“I’m happy if you are happy.” His voice responded.

“What the HELL does that mean?” She cried back with hurt in her voice.

“Catherine, I really… really don’t know what to say. We didn’t plan this, and now we have to deal with it.”

“DEAL WITH IT??” She found herself yelling into the phone. “Let me tell you who is going to be ‘dealing’ with it, that’s ME!” She continued as nausea crept up inside her.


Silence remained on the phone

“Look”, Catherine began again, “I know this is not what we had planned, and quite frankly, I’m just as shocked as you are about the pregnancy, but I think this will be good.
Good for me, good for you and good for Lindsey. She did say once she wanted a sister or a brother.” Catherine said as the anger began to leave her voice. “Who knows, maybe she’ll get both a brother and a sister.” Catherine smiled.

She heard him sigh on the other end of the line. “Tony, please, please, let me know that you’re not going to run away, or stay in Seattle forever…. are you?” She questioned as another wave of nausea rolled through her.

Catherine felt like crying when he still did not say anything but she remained on the line hoping he would reply.

“Catherine, I’m here.” His voice came to her relief. “But, I do have to go.” He added.

“I love you, and I’m sure we’ll work this all out.” He said as he hung up the phone.

Catherine was left standing with the phone still up to her ear.

It was either nausea; anger, hunger, frustration at his lack of enthusiasm, or all of the above that made her want to shove 10 chocolate chip cookies in her mouth at once.
Catherine decided to feed the pit she felt in her stomach instead of ignore it. She opted for strawberry yogurt instead of the cookies.

After she paced her kitchen and downed a second serving of yogurt, she reached for the phone. This time, she called someone who she thought would understand. Someone who she could reach out to, someone she called a friend.

~~~~

Tony Vartann sat on the edge of his bed watching the rain pour against the window. The weather person said ‘partly cloudy’ today in Seattle; this is what they must mean.

The cordless phone he was holding fell out of his hand and onto the bed. He continued to stare at the rain as it splashed against the window.


“I’m sorry.” He muttered watching big drops of rain splat against the window of his small apartment. He knew both their lives were going to change in a very big way, but all he got out was…”I’m sorry.” Catherine isn’t even on the line anymore.

He thought about being a father, about holding a small life in his arms. In this case, he’ll have two small lives to hold.
He thought about the house. The small house next to Green Lake he was saving to buy. It’s the house where he, Catherine, and Lindsey could live if he could ever convince her to leave Las Vegas.

He closed his eyes, sighed, and had an image of Catherine.

She stood before him in his blue t-shirt he left for her last year. Her hands are on her stomach. Her red/blonde hair fell from her shoulders in curls as she looked down at her hands.
He wanted to reach out to her and run his fingers through her hair. He waned to put his hands over hers as a sign of approval and acknowledgment of the two small beings growing in her.
Her eyes rose to meet his….. Then… she is gone.

He thought about his life in Vegas. He thought about all the snarky, cold, uncaring things he said about other human beings. He thought about how he is the ‘textbook’ example of hiding his true feelings behind rude comments.

Being a homicide detective, he disassociated himself from the victims and everyone else involved. But, he had become more than that. Everyone at the station and most everyone at the CSI lab were used to his comments and reactions to certain situations. Were these just the reactions of a lonely man, a man who hid in his isolation and used hurtful words as not to feel the pain of being truly lonely?

Now, he found he had the same coldness and detachment to Catherine’s news as he did at a crime scene.
She was the person he swore he would never be that way with.

He tried to call her back just to get the words to her… just to hear her voice, just to picture her blue eyes smiling at him when she told him in person. He wanted to bury his head in her curls.

The line was busy…
 
Wow...I'm not a CSI:LV fan.... but great job on your story so far...and yes, please post more soon. :D
 
^^ thanks for the input luvingmyHoratio
I'm working on it.. got some stuff that isn't the way I like it.. :)

Thanks again :)
 
So, you had me until I realized it wasn't Nick or Warrick. I could tolorate Nick, and I'd probably kiss you square on the mouth if it was Warrick... but since it's Vartrann I'll read it... but I'll be hoping for a split very very soon. So that Warrick can step in.

Either way, it's good.
 
So, here is an update.... finally :D
Many thanks to edog for the beta :D (You ROCK!) :)

A/N This chapter does not look kindly on the Gris/Sara relationship. Just a precaution ;)

~~~~



“Thanks.” Catherine said quietly after she took a sip of her tea. “I’m really not sure why I came.” She started as she stood next to a tall pink/purple rose plant as taking in the sweet smell.

“Sometimes life gives us unexpected circumstances; we learn how to deal with these as we live our lives.” Heather Kessler said to Catherine as she poured a cup for herself.


“Please, Catherine, sit.” Heather motioned for Catherine to sit at a small table in Heather’s rose garden.

Catherine continued to hold the cup as she stood next to the rose.

“Yes, those are some of my favorites too,” Heather piped in. “I love the smell they give off first thing in the morning, so strong and powerful.”
Heather walked over to Catherine and stood next to her. “You know, you were given this chance, by some unknown force, either by God or destiny. I think you know what you want.” Heather smiled at Catherine placing her arms lovingly around Catherine’s shoulders.

~~~~

After two uneventful, nausea filled days, Catherine heard another puzzle piece snap into place

Although she and Tony’s relationship had been spent apart for most of the year, what she did know about him is that he isn’t a gusher. He doesn’t ‘gush’ over her or constantly tell her how wonderful she is and lucky he is to have her or he doesn’t constantly buy things for her as a way of showing his love and affection. He didn’t do those kinds of things. But she does know he has a softer side. He isn’t the ‘hard core, hard-ass’ homicide detective most everyone sees either. The nights she spent lying in his arms drew out the more tender side of him.

When a package arrived, she knew he accepted the idea of Catherine being pregnant.

Two small stuffed brown bears each with a blue and pink bow smiled at Catherine as she opened the package, she knew he was alright with it.

“They are perfect.” She said into his answering machine.

Now that piece was in its spot, another piece had to find its place.

Grissom, she had to tell Grissom.

~~~~

“I’ll be right back.” Grissom said standing to his feet. Catherine remained in the doorway of his office. “I have to take this to trace to have Hodges analyze these I found at the crime scene.” Grissom continued.

“Okay,” murmured Catherine as she watched Grissom brush by her as he left his office.

Catherine continued to stand just where she was, in the doorway of his office. She was beginning to dread telling him. For a few seconds she felt like a disobedient child caught doing something wrong. A feeling of nausea, anxiousness and a defensive feeling came over her.

I have nothing to be ashamed of. She thought to herself. I am a grown woman. I have my own personal life. I don’t need to defend myself to him or to anyone else. Her thoughts continued.

Grissom, Gil Grissom. More puzzle pieces that both she and he tried to put together, but then realized the pieces just wouldn’t fit.

They both tried to make the connection. After being friends for so many years Catherine felt comfortable around him and felt she could tell him anything. He would always be there for her; she knew that then.

One night, years ago, after their short term affair ended, when she just couldn’t take anymore of Eddie and his lies she found herself at Grissom’s doorstep. Her eyes bloodied from crying and yelling. She was alone and half drunk. She felt lucky she even got there without either crashing her car or getting pulled over.

Hours passed as Grissom comforted and held Catherine as she cried in his arms. One look from him was all it took, his blue eyes staring at her and she felt helpless…. Her naked body was wrapped in his sheets the next morning.

Neither one of them had to say a thing to each other. Years of investigating people led both Catherine and Grissom to believe that one night together was not going to be the end of a wonderful friendship. Why should they destroy the incredible bond between them?

Since then, Gil Grissom has been so much more to her than what could have been. He has been a father to Lindsey when she needed it the most. He has been supportive of Catherine’s career and defended her to Ecklie. His determination and loyalty to the Las Vegas Crime Lab as well as to his team are a few of the things she admires about him.

The nauseated feeling came back as she could hear his voice down the hall. She almost choked on it as it sat in her throat. This is going to be a long pregnancy. She sighed to herself. Grissom walked towards her….

“Where were we?” He asked with a very friendly smile.

Catherine pried herself from the doorway and sat in the chair across from his desk.

“Why am I always sitting across from you?” Catherine asked with a smile.

“Okay then, where would you like to sit?” Grissom played back.

“Why don’t you sit next to me?” The red head asked her friend.

“Okay,” Grissom stated with a puzzled look on his face. “What do you have in mind?” He joked to Catherine again.

Grissom got up from his seat across the desk from her and walked around his desk. His eyes never left her.

He sat down in a chair next to hers still with his eyes focused on her.

Catherine took in a deep breath, let it out and said, “I might as well just get it out….”

“I’m pregnant,” came out of her mouth.

“I know,” Grissom said almost immediately afterwards.

A pause grew as the two CSI’s looked at each other for some time.

Catherine really wasn’t looking at his face, but in his direction as she was trying to figure out how he knew.

Gil Grissom knew about his friend’s condition and had a lot to say about it, but was searching her face as to how to proceed.

“WAIT?” Catherine questioned. “The only other person that knows is….”


“Heather.” Grissom replied.

More silence as she sat in the chair; stunned at the news that Grissom knew about her pregnancy.

Her body was frozen. All her muscles seized as her hands remained gripped on the arms of the chair.

Nausea rolled through her again as the urge to throw up became suddenly very strong.

“Gil,” she choked back the vomit.

Catherine was determined to defend herself if she need to. Vomiting was not an option at this point.

Then she really focused her attention on Grissom’s face.

His face was also frozen but with a smile plastered on his face. His face hasn’t moved since he mentioned Heather.

“Ah, Gil” She got out as the burning sensation in her throat dissipated.

“So, how is Sara?” Catherine began knowing that she opened a very sensitive subject. Hopefully she would be able to continue the conversation without either having to use the bathroom or throw-up.

“Sara is fine.” Grissom flatly responded. “We are lucky that all she came out of that horrible ordeal was a broken wrist and a few cuts and bruises.”

Catherine noticed something in his face. There was no ‘spark’ there when she mentioned Sara’s name.
Years of knowing Grissom came to the forefront as she watched him. He seemed lost in thought, but yet, it wasn’t about Sara.

“So, do you have anything to say about this?” Catherine shot out the first arrow in the battle she was about to start.

She took in a long breath and mentally put up her armor as she prepared to defend herself and her decision.


Grissom ‘snapped’ back to reality as he felt the ‘arrow’ Catherine shot at him.

“Catherine,” Grissom began. “I have been thinking about this, I mean you. I… I “

“Yeah.” Catherine defended. “What do you have to say?” She egged him.


“I just don’t think it’s … how shall I put this … appropriate.” Grissom winced as he flew an ‘arrow’ back to Catherine.


“Appropriate?” Her blood began to rise at his words. “I’ll tell you what is appropriate!” Her words shot back to him as her eyes narrowed in anger.

“How about a year-long affair or whatever you call it, with a subordinate??!!” Catherine voice became louder.

“You know what’s funny?” Catherine started ignoring the burning feeling she felt again in her throat. “It’s when you started this ‘relationship’ with Sara, you completely forgot about ME! Sure, you had a few choice words here and there about MY private life but I think it’s YOU that should have been examining your decisions, don’t you think? So, Mr. Grissom, you have NO RIGHT! To say my choices are inappropriate.”

She sat temporarily satisfied at her answers. Her anger suppressed for the moment as she watched her friend of over 20 years process the words she just launched at him in the battle she began.

“How about you and me?” Grissom shot at her.

“Come on now, you know that’s different?” Catherine snapped back

“How, how is that different?” Grissom pointed.

“Because, you and I were NOT boss and subordinate! Or has that piece of our history left your brain along with your reasoning.” Her voice shook flying a hurtful glance at her friend.

His face fell as he sat in the chair next to hers. He knew that she was right. Their friendship fell by the way-side as he plunged head first into a relationship that he knew was wrong. They both knew, but he let it continue without any thought as to the outcome.

“Does, does, he know?” Grissom questioned Catherine. His brows furrowed at his words.

“God, don’t be an ass Grissom,” Her voice flew to him full of frustration and anger, “of course he knows.” She retorted not looking in his direction.

This time, Grissom sat frozen in his chair, looking straight ahead. His thoughts were muddling and mixing in his head as to what to say next to Catherine, his best friend.

A buzzing sound came from Catherine’s jacket pocket signaling her that a message was coming.

“I should get this.” Catherine broke in.

“You should.” His voice followed hers in agreement.

Desert Palms Gynecology Center read the caller ID.

She flung her hair back and put the phone up to her ear.

“Ms. Willows, this is Lisa from Dr. Torres office. I tried calling you at home but I got your machine. The Doctor wanted me to call and ask if you had any questions regarding your upcoming appointment. We have you scheduled for an amniocentesis on Wednesday and a regular appointment on Friday. Please let us know if you have any other questions…..”

“OH GOD” Came from her lips as she quickly flipped her phone closed.

“What is it?” Grissom asked with genuine concern as he finally was able to look at her.

“Home…. Lindsey”…, Catherine nervously looked at her watch.

“I haven’t told Lindsey… yet. I mean, I was going to…later today...” Weakly her voice answered.

“So, are we done?” Grissom asked getting up from his chair and walking around his desk to sit down in the chair behind it.

“No, Gil, we are NOT done!” Catherine got out.

Another long silence began between the two friends as they both sat silent in their seats still wanting to give in to the other.

“Oh, I don’t know, does the word…HYPOCRITE come to mind? You can tell me all you want about my personal life and my dealings with people, and what you consider it ‘inappropriate’. But when it’s your personal life and how it affects your job, then it’s off limits. Am I right so far?” Catherine growled.

“And Heather, how dare you bring her into this!” Fiercely Catherine added.

“Yes, you are right.” Grissom responded pretending to look at some files piled on his desk.

“Look, Catherine began again, “yes, I am pregnant, yes, the father lives a thousand miles away or so, yes, he was a detective with LVPD, but I guess I still fail to see how any of that is considered inappropriate when you and Sara have been…. Have been what? What have you and Sara been doing for the last year, Grissom?” She asked with hurt in her voice.

“Don’t bring Sara into this.” He shot at Catherine angrily.

“Yes, Catherine immediately got out, “yes, for once this isn’t about YOU and Sara it’s about ME and YOU!” Catherine defended.

“I came to you hoping I could get some support. Do you know how long I agonized over this?” Her voice began to quiver. “I came to you before I even told Lindsey. That should mean something to you.” Catherine added. “But, she’ll find out soon enough. I hope she is more supportive than you.” She sighed.

“You are my friend and I thought you would understand. I thought I knew you Gil Grissom, but I guess I don’t…not anymore.” Catherine looked down at her hands now resting on her small bump. “And now, if you excuse me, I do believe we are done. I have to call my daughter.” Catherine got up.

She didn’t look back at Grissom as she walked out of his office feeling no better than when she walked in.

HOW DARE HE! She mumbled to herself as her steps became harder and harder down the long quiet hall to her office.

~~~~

Lindsey Willows walked into her house. Her mind focused on the music playing in her iPod. She threw her school backpack and her ballet bag on the floor in the hallway of her house.
She walked over to the kitchen and saw a red light blinking indicating a message was on the machine. The number 2 was blinking.

“Good”, she muttered putting down her iPod, “Maybe I got the part.”

Lindsey pushed the button to play back the messages then walked into the kitchen looking for something to eat.

She found a note on the counter from Catherine.

Lindsey,

I went grocery shopping today before work so there is lots food available.

I plan on coming home on my lunch break; we have some things to talk about.

Love you


MOM

The first message played. ….

Linds, it’s me… hope you got it….Dani

BEEP

Lindsey searched the cupboards.

“Let’s see… Organic tortilla chips, Organic popcorn, Organic tomato sauce, Organic peanut butter. What’s with all the Organic stuff?”



BEEP

The second message began…

Ms. Willows, this is Lisa with Desert Palms Gynecology Center, Dr. Torres asked me to call and wondered if you had any questions before your next appointments.

She also wanted me to remind you of a few things since it’s been quite a few years since your last pregnancy and you currently have a multiple pregnancy…
Let’s see… the voice continued… stay away from cat boxes, paint fumes, pesticides…

“Pregnancy?” Lindsey said. “What is going on?”

You are scheduled for an amniocentesis on Wednesday and a regular exam on Friday. We should have the results of the amniocentesis by then.

Since you are not home at this time, I’ll try the cell phone number you provided.

Oh, and just as a precaution … If you feel cramping, pain or begin bleeding, call 9-1-1 immediately! The voice emphasized

We’ll see you on Wednesday.


BEEP


She stood stunned by the news relayed on the message machine.


Lindsey then turned towards the cupboards. Hastily she scanned the newly purchased items. The word ORGANIC began to become a pattern as she shoved boxes crackers and packages of whole-wheat pasta aside.

HHHMMPPPHH, was her first thought.

Lindsey then decided to see what else her mom bought in the refrigerator. She opened the door and immediately noticed how heavy it was to open.
Her investigating skills surfaced when the door of the refrigerator was full of yogurt. Cartons and cartons of Organic Strawberry Low-Fat yogurt.

Then she saw it. It was staring her right in the face. She made a quick glance through the rest of the refrigerator as it revealed lots of fresh vegetables and fruit. Organic no doubt Lindsey thought.

But it was the gallon of non-fat Organic milk sitting in the middle of the refrigerator staring back at her cemented the notion that Catherine was pregnant.

In all her 15 years, Lindsey Willows had never seen her mother drink milk, never. Diet Coke, Bottled water and maybe a bottle of wine, those were the things that Lindsey recalled usually sat in the refrigerator, but milk, Organic Milk, never.

It all of a sudden made sense. All the clues that her mother ‘inadvertently’ left indicating her pregnancy all came down to the gallon of milk in the fridge. Lindsey appreciated why Catherine loves what she does, finding the clues to solve the crime, and in this case the ‘crime’ was the fact that her mother was hiding her pregnancy.

“I wonder when she was going to tell me.” Lindsey angrily said.

The shrill of the phone made Lindsey jump as it shrilled again… and a third time before Lindsey could get to it.

“Linds,” her mother’s voice came over the line, “are you there?” Catherine asked.

“Mom, I’m here.” Lindsey answered. “How are you feeling?” The teenager asked hoping to pull off some naivety to get to the truth.

“I’m okay, why do you ask?” Catherine curiously returned.

“Your doctor’s office called and said you are scheduled for some tests, I what to know if every thing is okay?” Lindsey deceptively inquired.

Catherine squinted as she heard her daughter’s voice on the line. Catherine knew Lindsey was lying. One thing young Lindsey Willows was never good at was lying. It showed in her face and in her voice. Catherine didn’t need to be a top-notch CSI to know when her daughter was lying to her.

“Lindsey, I was going to come home on my lunch break, like the note said, we have some things to talk about.” Catherine stated into the phone.

A break in the conversation ended when Catherine asked, “So, how was the audition? When will you find out if you got the part?” She asked her daughter.

“Hopefully later today,” Lindsey answered.

“I hope you get it baby.” Catherine smiled.

“Me too,” Lindsey truly said finding herself no longer angry with her mother. Lindsey could hear the caring in her mother’s voice.

“I’ll see you later, I love you.” Catherine said closing her phone.

Lindsey stood in the kitchen and absorbed the conversation she just had.
A smile crept onto her face.

“Maybe this won’t be so bad.” Came from her, “I mean, if I’m at ballet or at school I don’t have to do any of the ‘baby things’” She thought aloud.

Lindsey knew her mother loved her and cared about her. She knew her mother also had a very nice boyfriend that lived in a different city. Last year they talked about moving, but Catherine said it wasn’t an option. This whole pregnancy thing was something Lindsey didn’t expect.


A terrifying thought crossed Lindsey mind. She asked to the empty room, “What if we are going to move now?”

“I wonder if Grandma knows about this.” Lindsey picked up the phone and dialed the number…
~~~~
 
Wow...I just read the update!!!! It was wonderful. Wonderful indeed! Update soon! Please...Please Please!
 
Sorry for the delay in updating. I want to thank edog for your wonderful beta work. I'm sorry RL took you away from me. :(
But, I want to thank giwu for stepping up. It means a lot. :D




Telling Lindsey



“Mom, this blows,” Lindsey said, flopping her body on the couch.

“Yeah honey, this does blow,” Catherine replied, sitting next to her daughter.

“You don’t get to say that mom,” Lindsey glared at Catherine. “I mean, how did this happen… wait don’t answer that, I know how it happened, but …. Why now, I mean not just a baby, but two babies, Mom?” questioned Lindsey.

Catherine reached over to her daughter and turned her face towards her own.

“I’m not sure how this happened, but it is happening. I don’t like the idea of being pregnant and 44 and alone either”. She said softly.

“Mom, you’re not alone,” Lindsey cut in with a hurt look in her eyes. “I’m here, I’ve always been here.” She said as a tear crept to the corner of her eye.

Catherine sighed. “Linds, that’s not what I meant,” she said, stroking her daughter’s hair.
“I mean without Tony. He’s still in Seattle.”

“But you said last year there wasn’t going to be a baby. You were relieved. But now… he’s gone and now… this… it sucks Mom, it sucks. I mean, what am I going to do? What about school, ballet, swimming…?” she asked.

“Look, Lindsey, none of that is going to change for you. I’m not sure why you think it would.” Catherine said as she studied Lindsey’s face.

“What about all the ‘baby stuff’? What about the crying in the middle of the night? What about all the weird stuff that babies do? This doesn’t make sense.” she complained as another tear ran from her eye.
“I was happy, you know; when it was just the two of us; you and me, MOM, no one else. Okay, yeah, so Tony came into your life. He’s cool and all, but he’s not here!

“Do you think I don’t know that?” Catherine fired back at Lindsey.

Lindsey turned away as more tears began to fall.

“I’m sorry honey, it’s just this pregnancy is a huge shock to me, too. I never thought I would have another baby, let alone two at once,” said Catherine. She sighed again.
“I know there will be some hard stuff ahead for us, for all of us. This is going to affect both, no, all three of our lives. And, you know what, Lindsey? I’m a little scared.”

“Scared of what?” Lindsey asked turning back to her mother.

“Oh, let’s see, scared of being pregnant at my age. Scared the babies won’t he healthy, scared of having surgery, scared of being over 60 when they graduate from high school. I’m scared of not having the support and love of my first baby.” Catherine stopped and waited for a response from Lindsey.

A smile snuck onto Lindsey’s face.

“Mom, I’m not really sure what to make of all of this.” Lindsey said after a few moments. “I’m sorry, but, I don’t really believe you when you say that nothing will change. Everything is going to change.”

“I can’t say I’m happy about this. By the way, how pregnant are you? I mean, how far along are you? Do you know for sure that you are having twins?”

“Whoa, slow down,” came from Catherine as she put up her hands. “First of all, yes, I’m very sure I’m having twins, I have the picture in my wallet. Secondly, I’m about 11 weeks,” she said while patting her middle.

“ELEVEN WEEKS!” Lindsey blurted. “You’re almost three months pregnant and you didn’t tell me! YOU LIED TO ME!”

“No, I didn’t lie to you, Lindsey.” Catherine said in the calmest voice she could muster. “I didn’t find out about the babies until I was 9 weeks along. So, I didn’t lie to you, I didn’t know myself until…”

“Uh, like 2 WEEKS AGO!” Lindsey shouted.

“No, I didn’t tell you, I didn’t tell anyone. Don’t you think I thought about you when I was agonizing over this? I didn’t know what to do at that point. I thought about this for a long time. I didn’t plan this pregnancy, but I’m not going to let go of it either. You were the first person that came into my head when the doctor told me. Then,” Catherine paused, “the days turned into a week, then two weeks, and now here we are.”

Lindsey left the couch and walked to the kitchen. She started to search for something to eat. Catherine watched from the couch as she began to mentally defend herself similar to the way she defended herself against Grissom. Catherine was ready for an attack, so far, it hasn’t happened, but she wanted to be prepared.

Lindsey searched the refrigerator, not happy with any of the Organic choices, settled for a Diet Coke instead.

“Mom, do you want anything, while I’m here? Lindsey asked over her shoulder.

“No thank-you, I’m fine.” Catherine answered.

“See, you are already accepting this.” Catherine winked as Lindsey resumed her spot on the couch.

“Don’t push it,” came out of the young girl’s mouth.

“What about Tony?” Lindsey asked, much to Catherine’s surprise.

“What about him?” responded Catherine.

“What does he have to say about this? Is he going to move back here? Are we going to move to Seattle? Are you going to get married?” Lindsey’s questions came at a rapid-fire pace.

“I’m not sure, I’m not sure about any of those things right now,” Catherine replied.

More questions for Catherine. Questions she didn’t know how to answer.


~~~~

“Relax Ms. Willows,” a distant voice reminded Catherine as she lay back on the exam table. She felt the stickiness of the faux leather of the exam table next to her bare skin. Nervousness about the amniocentesis spread through her as she tried to relax.

A voice said her name, “Catherine Willows, is that you?”

Catherine couldn’t place the voice, but somehow, from a distant memory, it sounded and felt familiar.

“It’s is you,” the woman’s voice said as Catherine turned her head.

“Charlotte?” Catherine questioned, “Charlotte Meridian, from The Las Vegas Crime Lab?”

A warm secure feeling came over Catherine as a smile crossed her face.

“I’m so glad to see you,” Catherine commented.

She felt the doctor put the cold jelly on her belly as a separate conversation began between the doctor and the anesthetist.

“Where do I begin?” giggled Charlotte. “I’m actually the ultrasound tech for the Gynecology Center. After I left the Crime Lab, I went back to school and received my Ultrasound Tech Certificate. It feels so much better dealing with the beginning of life than with all the death,” Charlotte continued.

The lights dimmed as Charlotte got up from her chair next to Catherine’s head. “I’m going to check on the babies now,” she told Catherine in a very calm voice.
“I’ll walk you through it if you would like, just so you know what is going on. I know how you don’t like to be kept in the dark about things.”

The comment from Charlotte made Catherine smile.

“I’d like that,” she replied.


“First the anesthetist will place some iodine on the spot where they will extract the amniotic fluid. Then the doctor will place the syringe into your uterus filling it with the fluid…” Charlotte’s voice continued. “My job is to monitor the babies and to note their movements…”

Catherine closed her eyes as she listened to the words being spoken. She said she wanted to hear what was going on, but Catherine decided to let her mind wander in the hopes that it would relieve some of her nervousness.

Her thoughts traveled to Tony. She knew it was only appropriate since she was having this procedure done for the future of his babies; their babies.

She thought about his hands and how they interlaced with hers when they were lying in bed together. She thought about how his long slender fingers slid through her hair.
His eyes were almost blue at times and almost green at other times. His thick dark hair tickled sometimes as his head rested in the crook of her neck

“I miss you,” she murmured before Charlotte’s voice brought Catherine back to reality.

“We are almost done here,” Charlotte told with a smile in her voice. “So far, everything looks good. I think the doctor had some questions about the size of Twin B. I’m sure she’ll talk to you about it. But, other than that, things look really, really good. I’m very excited for you.”

A cloudy haze filled Catherine’s mind as the doctor was pointing out warnings.

“You will feel some cramping, some tenderness and experience some spotting. If any of these symptoms get worse, call us immediately!” The doctor emphasized.

The cloudiness still remained with Catherine as she dressed and gathered her things. She wasn’t quite sure how to take Charlotte’s optimism. Years of being a CSI had taught Catherine many things about people and what they say. Usually if someone is very optimistic or enthusiastic, they are hiding something. But, what could Charlotte be hiding and why would she?

Nervousness Catherine concluded. I’m just overly nervous.

Charlotte spotted Catherine in the waiting area.

“Tell me,” she patted Catherine’s leg after sitting down next to her, “does Gil Grissom still work there?” Charlotte inquired.

“Gil,” Catherine quietly managed, “yeah, he’s still there. He’s still the Graveyard Shift Supervisor.”

“Good for him,” Charlotte gushed. “I’m sure he’s really good at it. He loved his work.”

Grissom, DAMN IT! Catherine forgot her anger with him. She wasn’t going to tell Charlotte of the recent goings on in the Lab among Grissom, Sara, Ecklie and the rest of the team.

“You know, Gil had me in stitches half the time, he was so funny. That’s the reason I agreed to go out with him, that and he bought me a steak,” Charlotte’s face showed the faint tinge of a blush.

Catherine rested her hand on her small bump as she listened to Charlotte continue about Grissom. She was actually glad to hear how much fun Grissom used to be. It reminded her of how it had been. Funny how much has changed over the years.

“I’m sorry your husband isn’t here,” Charlotte consoled.

“Me too,” Catherine surprised herself by saying.

~~~~

“A boy and a girl? Catherine repeated into her phone a short time later. “Wow that was fast. Thank you, thank you very much.” Her voice quavered.

“I’d like to think we are as good as the Las Vegas Crime Lab,” Charlotte said on the other end of the line.

Catherine laughed and a smile spread across her face as she thought about the two healthy babies inside her.

“The doctor said one was smaller than the other, but it’s not a concern at the moment. We’ll see you on Friday.” Charlotte’s voice chimed in.

~~~~
“Where have you been?” Catherine asked as she heard his voice.

“Out running”, he replied. “Why?”

“I’m having a baby, actually two,” Catherine cringed as she heard herself stating those words to Tony on the other end of the phone line.

“I understand that,” He snapped.

“Well, from here, it doesn’t seem that way,” she fired back at him. “I mean, every time I call, you’re not there. You never mention anything about moving back here or anything else.”

“What else is there?” Tony asked with frustration.

“Marriage, we have never even talked about getting married.” she caught herself saying. She heard him sigh on the other end, “Please, tell me you have thought about it.”

Cath...” He started to say.

She pictured him, standing in his small apartment next to the bed. His hand is placed on his hip while he was talking to her. He always put his hand on his hip when he hears something he doesn’t agree with. She wondered if he knew that about himself.

“Cath, he repeated. “I know you didn’t call me to pick a fight, but I really don’t like the way this conversation is going.”

“I’m not very happy about this conversation either.” she huffed. “I called because I thought you would want to know about the babies, but I guess if it’s something you’re not interested in…”

“Wait a minute,” he stopped her. “I never said that, and now I really don’t like the way this is going.”

“I’m sorry, but I get really frustrated easily these days. Lindsey and I had a pretty intense conversation the other day.
She wanted to know about us, if you are going to move back here, if we are going to move there and if we are going to get married. I didn’t know what to say to her.” Catherine said.

“Well?” She questioned again when there was no reply.

Terror struck her as she waited for a long time.

“I bought a house.” he stated.

“What?” She asked stunned by his answer.

His tone changed immediately when he mentioned the house. All Catherine could do was listen to him talk. Her concern melted away as she listened to him.

“I think you heard me,” he smiled. “I bought a house, a house for us, for all of us. I wanted it to be a surprise. I wanted to tell you when you came. And, when are you going to come? Before you ask,” Tony began, “it’s only a one story rambler, but it has three bedrooms. It’s a block away from Green Lake and it’s not very far from the precinct or Downtown”.

“Are you there?” He asked after a long silence.

“Yeah, she breathed, “I’m here.”

“Good, I thought I’d lost you,” he teased.

She could almost hear him smile through the phone.

What started out as a phone call full of frustration and hurt turned in to a lot more than what she expected.

“Oh, I believe you have some news for me,” he caught her attention again.

“Oh, oh yeah,” she focused her attention back to the original reason why she called, “Are you ready?” She asked coyly.

“Yes, I am.” He teased.

“You have a son and a daughter.” Catherine smiled wishing she could see his face.

Relief came to Catherine as she could focus on the other aspects of her life. Pieces of the puzzle are starting to come together.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top