*bumping this up Now new postings here? So, how about discussing my latest works? Still hoping for the feedback I kindly requested.
Alright Detective_Burn requested it lets bring some life here. [Dedicated to a lost friend. R.I.P.] If I knew that Friday would be our final day I swear I would have told you what we all wanted to say. I remember that at the time All I could do was sit and cry Nothing can express the pain I felt When I herd the news You were gone you were no more Take it one step at a time thats what they told me to do When it was me who knew there was no time. No more words or silly games No more seeing your smiling face I can't stand being here without your smile Without your laugh I swear this life is nothing more then an open file They say we all have a chore but did you finish yours? Is that the reason you had to go ? only god will ever know. You know there was only a little while left to go and we would have been corporals You didn't make it but we did I swear that it wasn't fair. accepting the ranks it was painful I remember that you got yours but that was at your funeral. Cadets forever remember? It was what we all said. just one more thing before I go They Say your gone but in my heart you will always live on. and At the gates please wait for me Save me a place because on that day when I get to see your smiling face thats when I'll know that I've finally found my rightful place.
Okay, actually I was intending feedback on my past three poems. However I want to say I like what you wrote. I totally see what you talk about. So - what do you think about my poems?
I actually think you have a great way with words. Your poems are awesome and I have to say that I really and truly like them
Not quite sure what this is, but I think it's close enough to a poem that it can go here. Shadow She walks along the midnight sidewalk, wondering where her shadow has gone. Nothing surrounds her. Silence and plain black sky is all that she can sense. She is worried. Her shadow is gone and she can no longer hide her true self. He walks by, he sees her in her purest form. She turns away from him. Ashamed. Frightened. He stops and stares. Light returns and she has found her shadow again. He returns to find her. This time, she looks happier. She wears a smile, but the girl he saw last night is in her shadow, following his footsteps home. She can’t see, and he can’t see her. She’s trying hard to be someone that she doesn’t even know. She’s lost. Just like her shadow.
So, feels good the way I treat words being appreciated. Wyoming, I like your idea to write about shadows.
Okay , here is one of my poems (warning , is pretty stupid) : I love you so much , I adore you my dear I feel so happy , so in love when you’re near You’re the one person I’ve always thought of The only one with whom I knew I’d fall in love You make my heart beat faster and faster You messed up my mind , my beautiful disaster When you look at me your eyes say too much When you’re far away I’m craving for your touch Only my heart knows how much I love you And I smile at the thought you feel this too We are two wandering souls made to be together In this silent world , with each other forever .
The Man In My Mind He stands there everyday he walks towards me i have no clue what to say he says hi and I could nearly cry his eyes so soft his eyes so blue i dont think he has a clue he is the man on my mind i just want to hug him and he is so kind he cought me when I fell oh god, the way he smell he smells so good if i could tell him how i feel I would [[written by me...I actually got dared to make a peom and write it on our Jr.High science teachers boards.]]
The pain, the tiredness, I'm forced to live with everyday. The shadow's, the darkness, that weave into my mind and play. The prodding, the poking, the medicine's and sounds. The tubes, the machines, the toxin they feed. Into your sad body, that know's it only wants to rest. Away from all these people, who you and your body want to reject. You trudge forever forward, for family, for your kids Knowing they need you, to fight and forever live. So you keep moving forward, never allowing your soul to give up. Keeping it strong, tight, so it doesn't leave to go above. LMH
dedicated to Neverending Story the movie come with me my friend well find a place beyond reality take this trip on the wings of Falcon and lets go there up the sky and find dreamlands fly with me to the morning sun you will see what lies beyond the sky place with wonder castles where theres no fear no need to shed any tears
Heyhey. Boyyyy, man! I´m just working on a text based on "in the end" by Linkin Park. Can´t wait to finish it.
You go through life thinking, you have a dozen or so friends, But as it shows, and turns out, is that you only have one, about. The one who forever stands, right beside your shadowed form. When ever you feel frightened, from your fears, or lonely storm. So why do I feel all alone again, like you've disappeared, abandoned me on my own again, not knowing, the why or the how, God! I'm screaming inside. From the torture, the agony, and pain, and the way you left, my soul insane. Leaving me to fight this demon alone, as it tears, and pulls at my hurting soul. By LMH. (Hmmm...just some words.)
We do a dance, of romance, we move together, taking a chance. On love, on hope, on splended dreams, that you and I, will forever keep. Laughing as one, crying as two, we take our chance, and kiss anew. Hoping to spark, that flame once more, as we walk, hand in hand, along the shore. Alway's together, we will be each others rock, never releasing, the passionate bond. Of our friendship, that's built on truth, the truth of me loving, only you. LMH