Poetry, Anyone?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by stripforensics, May 15, 2005.

  1. Detective_Burn

    Detective_Burn Coroner

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    *bumping this up


    Now new postings here? So, how about discussing my latest works? Still hoping for the feedback I kindly requested.
     
  2. future_cop

    future_cop Lab Technician

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    Alright Detective_Burn requested it lets bring some life here.

    [Dedicated to a lost friend.
    R.I.P.]



    If I knew that Friday would be our final day
    I swear I would have told you
    what we all wanted to say.

    I remember that at the time
    All I could do
    was sit and cry
    Nothing can express the pain I felt
    When I herd the news
    You were gone
    you were no more

    Take it one step at a time
    thats what they told me to do
    When it was me who knew
    there was no time.

    No more words
    or silly games
    No more seeing
    your smiling face

    I can't stand being here without your smile
    Without your laugh
    I swear this life is nothing more
    then an open file

    They say we all have a chore
    but did you finish yours?
    Is that the reason you had to go ?
    only god will ever know.

    You know
    there was only a little while left to go
    and we would have been corporals
    You didn't make it
    but we did
    I swear that
    it wasn't fair.
    accepting the ranks
    it was painful
    I remember that you got yours
    but that was at your funeral.

    Cadets forever remember?
    It was what we all said.

    just one more thing
    before I go
    They Say your gone
    but in my heart
    you will always live on.

    and At the gates
    please wait for me
    Save me a place
    because on that day
    when I get to see your smiling face
    thats when I'll know
    that I've finally found
    my rightful place.
     
  3. Detective_Burn

    Detective_Burn Coroner

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    Okay, actually I was intending feedback on my past three poems. :)

    However I want to say I like what you wrote. I totally see what you talk about.

    So - what do you think about my poems? :(
     
  4. future_cop

    future_cop Lab Technician

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    I actually think you have a great way with words. :D Your poems are awesome and I have to say that I really and truly like them :)
     
  5. CSINikki

    CSINikki Dead on Arrival

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    I like them.They are good. Mine arnt always so good.
    lol. I love to write. Good work!
     
  6. Wyoming

    Wyoming Head of the Graveyard Shift

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    Not quite sure what this is, but I think it's close enough to a poem that it can go here.

    Shadow
    She walks along the midnight sidewalk, wondering where her shadow has gone. Nothing surrounds her. Silence and plain black sky is all that she can sense. She is worried. Her shadow is gone and she can no longer hide her true self. He walks by, he sees her in her purest form. She turns away from him. Ashamed. Frightened. He stops and stares.

    Light returns and she has found her shadow again. He returns to find her. This time, she looks happier. She wears a smile, but the girl he saw last night is in her shadow, following his footsteps home. She can’t see, and he can’t see her. She’s trying hard to be someone that she doesn’t even know.

    She’s lost. Just like her shadow.
     
  7. Detective_Burn

    Detective_Burn Coroner

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    So, feels good the way I treat words being appreciated. :)

    Wyoming, I like your idea to write about shadows.
     
  8. ericloca

    ericloca Lab Technician

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    Okay , here is one of my poems (warning , is pretty stupid) :
    I love you so much , I adore you my dear
    I feel so happy , so in love when you’re near
    You’re the one person I’ve always thought of
    The only one with whom I knew I’d fall in love

    You make my heart beat faster and faster
    You messed up my mind , my beautiful disaster
    When you look at me your eyes say too much
    When you’re far away I’m craving for your touch

    Only my heart knows how much I love you
    And I smile at the thought you feel this too
    We are two wandering souls made to be together
    In this silent world , with each other forever .
     
  9. Detective_Burn

    Detective_Burn Coroner

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    ericloca, it´s direct. But I like it, because it´s got rhymes. :)
     
  10. CSINikki

    CSINikki Dead on Arrival

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    The Man In My Mind



    He stands there everyday
    he walks towards me
    i have no clue what to say
    he says hi
    and I could nearly cry
    his eyes so soft
    his eyes so blue
    i dont think he has a clue
    he is the man on my mind
    i just want to hug him
    and he is so kind
    he cought me when I fell
    oh god, the way he smell
    he smells so good
    if i could tell him how i feel
    I would


    [[written by me...I actually got dared to make a peom and write it on our Jr.High science teachers boards.]]
     
  11. MacsLovlyAngl

    MacsLovlyAngl Head of the Graveyard Shift

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    The pain, the tiredness,
    I'm forced to live with everyday.
    The shadow's, the darkness,
    that weave into my mind and play.

    The prodding, the poking,
    the medicine's and sounds.
    The tubes, the machines,
    the toxin they feed.

    Into your sad body,
    that know's it only wants to rest.
    Away from all these people,
    who you and your body want to reject.

    You trudge forever forward,
    for family, for your kids
    Knowing they need you,
    to fight and forever live.

    So you keep moving forward,
    never allowing your soul to give up.
    Keeping it strong, tight,
    so it doesn't leave to go above.

    LMH
     
  12. LadyCrow

    LadyCrow Victim

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    dedicated to Neverending Story the movie :)

    come with me
    my friend well find
    a place beyond reality
    take this trip
    on the wings of Falcon
    and lets go
    there up the sky
    and find dreamlands
    fly with me to the morning sun
    you will see what lies beyond the sky
    place with wonder castles
    where theres no fear
    no need to shed any tears
     
  13. Detective_Burn

    Detective_Burn Coroner

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    Heyhey. Boyyyy, man!
    I´m just working on a text based on "in the end" by Linkin Park.

    Can´t wait to finish it. :D
     
  14. MacsLovlyAngl

    MacsLovlyAngl Head of the Graveyard Shift

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    You go through life thinking,
    you have a dozen or so friends,
    But as it shows, and turns out,
    is that you only have one, about.

    The one who forever stands,
    right beside your shadowed form.
    When ever you feel frightened,
    from your fears, or lonely storm.

    So why do I feel all alone again,
    like you've disappeared, abandoned
    me on my own again, not knowing, the
    why or the how, God! I'm screaming inside.

    From the torture, the agony, and pain,
    and the way you left, my soul insane.
    Leaving me to fight this demon alone,
    as it tears, and pulls at my hurting soul.


    By LMH. (Hmmm...just some words.)
     
  15. MacsLovlyAngl

    MacsLovlyAngl Head of the Graveyard Shift

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    We do a dance, of romance,
    we move together, taking a chance.
    On love, on hope, on splended dreams,
    that you and I, will forever keep.

    Laughing as one, crying as two,
    we take our chance, and kiss anew.
    Hoping to spark, that flame once more,
    as we walk, hand in hand, along the shore.

    Alway's together, we will be each others rock,
    never releasing, the passionate bond.
    Of our friendship, that's built on truth,
    the truth of me loving, only you.

    LMH :)
     

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