Re: Nick Fic Song Ch #4 - "11th Commandment"-Authors Revealed!
NickyFan has been unable to get back onto the internet lately, so she emailed me her final two reviews and asked that I post them here for you. And also her story behind her story. So here you go!
Still Smoldering:
Awwww I love this story and its concept
It all fits so well. How you let Nick read the signs right and how you let Michael feel that Nick had an experience similar to his
Your story really shows how empathic Nick is. He was able to think like the little boy and to feel like the little boy
The thing I liked the most wasn t just the emotion you wrote in your story, it was more the way you described the things in your story I mean how you described the little boy in his jacket, with the long sleeves that nearly completely cover his hands and Nick how he cocked his head to see the boy s feet swinging, you even wrote about his tongue showing so believable amazing. It made reading your story so great to read because I was able to see it all in my head and you wrote it exactly the way Nick would be like in the situation.
You were able to give the reader a picture of the little boy. We all know how he looks like without the possibility to see him for real. The way you described his behaviour, the way he jerked away from his mothers touch and how didn t want anyone to touch him or take his clothes. How detailed you got into the little boys character was cool how he didn t want to give away the jacket one of the little pieces of innocence and safety he had left after what he has been through.
I read the signs from the beginning because you showed it all so well and it was sure that Nick would read them as well. The thing that really made me cry was the point where Michael asked Nick if he ever told his mom that was something only a child could ask because they re able to read between the lines without being influenced by certain things. I somehow think that Nick had great respect towards Michael for being so brave to tell someone about it. That you let him call his mom at the end showed it clearly. And well I think he told his mom
Your story had a great piece of lightness in it even you wrote about a dark theme that was especially because you described the child s behaviour so well so believable
Faith:
Awww your story was so hard for me to read like I knew it would be and so dramatic I can t stop crying about it
And now I don t know where to start
Well first of all I know that you had a hard time writing for this theme and I can t find the words to describe the respect I have because you decided to write a story. That shows strength and that you dealt with what ever life had thrown on you, even you may feel different about it.
The way you wrote your story, with the thoughtfulness and sadness it was clear for me to see that you could identify with the theme, that you experienced cruel things like that, which makes it even more honourable that you wrote a story.
The little girl broke my heart and it s just so sad that things like that really happen
People say life is cruel but I don t think it is I think that the people we live with can be very cruel. Things like that shouldn t happen, we all know that and even though we do they still happen. That s the worst thing about it.
You know the way you had Nick arriving at the crime scene in the two parts of your story somewhat reminded me on Turn, Turn, Turn when he arrived at the scene shortly after Warrick s death and then when Haley was killed. I had the same feelings there because you described it all so well your details always catch me.
You were able to write Nick s empathy so believable
He would be the person to soothe a little child, when all the others just look at the facts and do their jobs. It s sad that he never really realized that he actually made the little girl happy for a few short minutes of her life. And it is even sadder, that the only only thing that actually made her happy was a simple gesture of man she had never seen before.
I liked the picture you gave us of Nick through the eyes of the little girl. She wasn t seeing him as a crime scene investigator for her he was an angel, someone she felt save with, someone she could laugh with.
Your story was so heart wrenching because it is so true there are many children out there who have stories similar to the one you wrote, with the exception that they never met someone they felt happy with. That s what makes your story so beautiful, even it is dark and sad and so so dramatic. As cruel as it sounds but somehow Faith was lucky to at least have the chance to experience what happiness is, even it was just a short time. But that doesn t make it any better, does it???
So, those are the two left reviews Man, that was hard.
And now the story behind my story well where should I start??? I guess I should start with the title
I think that is the most easy thing it just came to me after reading the song lyrics for the first time. I just knew I would write Jillian Stokes this time don t ask why, I just knew
I had five different concepts for this story and wrote three down before I finally knew what I wanted that never happened before and somehow I thought that I would maybe never get it done fully because I couldn t even decide which concept would be the best but then it came to me and I wrote it down and well sent it to Smokey :lol:
Well like I already said it s easier for me to write Nick as a child then as an adult because there I can write him with no expectations no one of us knows how Nick was like as a child but we can see him as an adult in the show. For me writing about him as a child was a safe place to play.
You know, I have no idea why you all like the teddy bear so much he was just, well I don t really know what it was in my story I think I wanted something real out of Nick s childhood, not just pictures no, something that really brought Jillian back to the years where Nick was a little boy. I thought a stuffed animal would be perfect because I myself still have the stuffed animal I got from my grandpa as I was born. That is just something you don t give away or forget over the years.
I liked writing Jillian I wrote her as that kind of mom we all would like to have and should have. Mom s who love their children think like that about their children, they re always there for them and have a hard time realizing that children grow up and build there own lives. They never stop to love you, no matter how much you change. I never had a mom like that but I would be proud to have one like Jillian
