Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge #3 - "The Change" - Stories Up! I'll have the last of my reviews later tonight What’s the Point? I like that you wrote this in the present tense, it drops the reader right into the action. Nick in a stunned kind of daze isn’t hard to imagine, and you’ve kept him in character with his anger and disillusionment over the bungling of a case. You really brought across that feeling of being so internalized that the outside world holds no interest. Nicely written. I also like how you have the question ‘what’s the point’ running throughout, even in Nick’s journal – and the journal itself which is a very creative touch. It’s obvious Nick is comfortable being honest with himself. Your resolution of the story with Cassie appearing just when Nick needs her the most is really touching. Catherine is one smart woman to know exactly what Nick needs. You’ve ended the story with a sense of renewed hope and determination. I like that because it’s something we all need at times in our lives. So The World Will Know You are a very descriptive writer…I like that You’ve brought to life Nick and his environment; the people around him. I felt like I wasn’t reading a story, I was watching it happen! It broke my heart when Nick asked to sit up, and Catherine knew right away the reason why. Again your description of Nick’s condition, through Catherine’s eyes, was really detailed. And the change of his own eyes is rather shocking, proof of the ordeal he’s been through. Your dialogue is really strong, it flows so naturally. You really do a marvelous job of subtly reminding us how the team interacts, Nick understanding right away the sacrifice Catherine made to get the money, it’s like he read her mind. The interaction between Nick and his parents is really sweet, brought tears to my eyes. I love your ending, with a very plausible reason for Nick to visit Kelly Gordon, as is the obvious effect it had on him. It was a positive change which you effectively brought back to Nick’s eyes. It’s brilliant. Brian Nice start! Making us visualize Nick in a uniform! Two thumbs up I really do like your setting, giving us a glimpse of a much younger Nick in his Dallas days. I like how you’ve brought these new characters to life. Immediately the reader feels for Brian, and it’s very believable how Nick is so invested in him. You set your story well, with a lot of detail into Brian’s life and his interaction with Nick. Your officer Daniels is very easy to dislike, proving your skills as a character writer. You definitely brought some tension into your story, as it wasn’t certain which brother had been killed. A good tactic which kept me reading on to find out what happened! It was a really lovely touch to have the other policemen come to the funeral, showing support for both Brian, and also Nick. I really like that, as I really like you story. Starfish This is a great story! I love the conversation between Nick and Warrick, the flow is perfect and natural, both men are in character and I can see them in my mind’s eye as I read. Star(fish)…is a great name, and the story behind it is absolutely inspiring. (I think the valedictorian at my high school grad used this story in her speech.) Tying the starfish story in with your inspiration from the song was great. The ending, with Warrick understanding and Nick being so modest, was really sweet and heartwarming. Your story left me smiling.