Re: Horatio & Yelina #6 - A Sense of Belonging - So Say We A
I have missed the entire 2 season, which I understand is the best H/Y season so far. And I've only seen the youtube clips of s2 (btw, huge thanks to Pusher for that), but that should change as we having reruns of s1 and s2 on tv, the first ep with Y, would be on monday...
Anyway, I don't have that great knowledge of those two, but I would like to comment on H huge guilt issues. It really gets to me and I thought about that a lot. And this is how I imagine H/Y/R past that wasn't shown on tv.
Ray was rarely at home, and it was H, who filled his part, knowing H caring tendencies. H & Y are drawn to each other from the moment they meet, and since they spend so much time together, they get to know each other very well and it’s only natural that they fall madly in love. But it's forbidden love, the one that they can't act upon. And feelings as strong as theirs even suppressed tend to grow even stronger/bigger until the moment it only takes one tiny thing for it to explode. What I want to say with this is that I believe that something did happen between H/Y, when Ray was still alive, they at least have had a kiss, maybe more.
Yes, I'm aware of H strong sense of honor/justice, and that he would not act on his feelings, cause it's inappropriate, he would suppress them. But he just a human, a man... and it takes just only so little to slip.
So, getting back to the guilt part. Ray's death is like a cold wake up shower for H. I think, H was kinda angry at his bro, for the way he treated Y and his son, leaving them alone for long time and such... and since he said he thought what would have been if he met Y first, then at unconscious level he wanted his bro out of the picture in some way. I'm not saying that he wanted Ray to die, it’s just that when you love someone like H loves Y, somewhere deep inside you tend to think like: how I wish I met her first, how I wish I could love her freely, that she was my wife and such. Then Ray dies… and H feel responsible for it, in general and more so because of his thoughts. He blames himself for Ray’s death, thinking he could’ve tried harder to save his bro, if he was not in love with his brother’s wife.
That would also explain why H send away Y with his bro to Brazil. When H learns that his bro is alive he feels like he’s been given a second chance for not saving his brother the first time around and so this time he makes sure does everything right, letting go the woman he loves completely.
Sorry for the long post, hope that makes sense. Sometimes it gets really frustrating, when English is not your mother tongue, and you want to express your thoughts, and they don’t turn out the way you want them to.
