From the Mouth of High School

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by araSgerG, Sep 18, 2006.

  1. SpeedsDaughter

    SpeedsDaughter CSI Level One

    Jul 16, 2007
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    Just got back from a band trip, so I've got a few.

    I have the worst memory, so I decided to make myself a message in my cell.

    Me: Remember, your clarinet and your music is under the bus...
    K: I think the stuff fell out!
    Me: ... Never mind.

    At the restaurant:

    D: I am a kitty cat! And I dance dance dance...
    Me: Great. You're less than a week younger than me with the mentality of a five year old.
    D: Yup! I am a kitty cat, and I dance dance dance...

    (At a performance, one of the guys takes off his shirt)
    Me: (to B) Woah, he's hot.
    K: What? Are you kidding?
    Me: Nooo...
    (five minutes later, a really fat guy comes out in a grass skirt)
    K: Oh look, it's Sissi's dream boy. Hubba hubba.

    (While touring a college)
    Me: I swear, if A says "Dude" one more time, I'll have to hurt something.
    B: Yeah, I agree, it's so annoying. You know, the dude thing... it's just so repetitive...
    (she continues for awhile)
    Me: Oooook.

    I have more, but most of them aren't appropriate for a PG-13 board. XD
  2. LibertyBell

    LibertyBell Police Officer

    Sep 29, 2007
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    A kid is trying to rationalize how we should get an extention on a project because he doesn't have it done.
    A: We need more time.
    Mr. B: No, you don't. I saw you out in the hallway wasting your time. Instead of reading the book you were hanging out with your friends. All two of them.

    We're having a discussion about the Nepal situation. One of the questions put forth was whether or not the US should intervene:
    N: I think they should because if they don't then it doesn't look good to their supporters. It's like how they're not pulling out of Iraq, because there are Americans that are in favour of them being there. So not intervening in Nepal will piss off the Americans that support the current government.
    Ms. S: Yeah, all 1% of them.

    In English:
    M: Mr. B, can I go to the bathroom?
    Mr. B: No, I know you're going to get that article. I've seen it making the rounds. First it was on K's desk, and now R's looking at it. I'm not gonna let you do other homework in my class.
    M: (to no one in particular as she walks back to her seat) The first time I actually need to go the bathroom....
  3. Calihan

    Calihan Captain

    Sep 20, 2004
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    In English we're writing research papers on charities and my charity is The Peace Corps.

    Me: For my cover picture can I use a photo from JFK's funeral.
    Mrs Y: How would that be relevant?
    Me: Well he started the Pace Corps.
    Rudy: Use a picture of him right after he was assassinated.
    Me: No I want to get a picture of his family at his funeral
    Rudy: *Salutes ala JFK Jr* You know that picture right?
    Rudy: Also put his funeral right next to a picture of Marilyn Monroe's funeral.

    These next few are all quotes I wrote into my paper
    Unlike most other volunteerorganizations the Peace Corps is run by the United States governmentwhich means it is ineffective, and poorly run.

    On average the time between your application is completed and
    you leave for your assigned nation the time is about nine months. So if you want, feel free to get yourself pregnant and then leave your
    newborns for two years and three months. If you do that you'll be as good
    with children as Louise Woodward.

    Training is rigorous and takes only three
    months (Rigorous like the military only for sissies who don't want to be
    killed in war). If you complete your two years of service you're given 6000
    dollars which for two years of living abroad is as much of a gyp as time
    with Ashley Dupree.


    Mike: Can we go to the library and get the book Banana Beer?
    Mr C: Why what's it about
    Mike: A monkey whose father is an alcoholic, which they show as him drinking too much banana beer

    Kevin: At a party last weekend I got drunk on soda and juice

    Kevin: Clint Eastwood was in an episode of Mr Ed
    Mr. Ed became friends with Clint Eastwood's horse who said that his own rod him bareback.
    *With this me, Rudy, and Mike were crying with laughter*
    Rudy: You must have meant horseback
    Kevin: No bareback why else would they call the show rawhide?
    *I was never sure how much of what Kevin was saying was a quote from the series which he said it was because if it was I would be shocked that they were able to get away with that*

    Mike: I wish the school would get trashy magazines? You know the type that talk about Nicole Ritchie's weight or what she-male Jodie Foster is sleeping with?

    (Rudy just borrowed my Zune for PE)
    Rudy: Austin, you listen to your music too quietly
    Now me and Mike are talking
    Me: Too quietly I just don't want to go deaf
    Mike: Yeah I agree
    Me: No matter how glamorous Marlee Matlin makes it look it's not great
    Mike: *Laughing hard*
    Me: Don't deafness by what you see in the zoo

    I was kidding about the zoo comment I was trying to be shocking don't think I am anti-deaf.

    A few months ago me, Mike, and Rudy we're talking about terrible ideas for characters for books

    Me: How about a door to door vacuum cleaner salesman who also performs abortions?

    Me and Mike we're discussing the movie The Amazing Colossal Man

    Mike: Who did the science for the movies James Watt?

    Mike: Do you remember the guy's name?
    Me: No
    Mike: Ok I'm going to refer to him as John McCain.
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2008
  4. CSIsPuddingCup

    CSIsPuddingCup Witness

    May 12, 2008
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    lunch one day:

    ((someone was talking about tequila))

    me: now whenever i hear the word tequila, i think of a small bisexual asian chick

    a different day, also at lunch

    talking about our bio teacher:

    Britta: well as far as i know shes a woman.
    Me: Or is she?


    Mrs. K is collecting papers.

    Me: oohh aggressive
    Mrs. K: i prefer assertive. aggresive just sounds so dirty.
  5. Calihan

    Calihan Captain

    Sep 20, 2004
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    Mr C: What did you guys do this weekend?
    Me: I tried to prove Ted Bundy innocent.

    Me: For one of my articles I have to write, can I write one called "If I touched it: confessions of a child molester?"
  6. Calihan

    Calihan Captain

    Sep 20, 2004
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    These two were references to the movie version of The Red Badge of Courage which we watched. The version we saw was pretty bad so we made MST3K style comments through it.

    Me: Which way to the Hells Angels meeting mister

    The rest aren't related:
    (Discussing The Red Badge of Courage)
    Me: He runs like a Vietnam Vet from an oncoming helicopter.

    (Deciding where to go to lunch)
    Me: For lunch we should go to bread and roses
    Bread and Roses is a soup kitchen

    Rudy: If that's true I'm a six foot pedophile
    Kevin: That's the way Harrison Ford does it
  7. AnJella

    AnJella CSI Level One

    May 20, 2008
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    Today in our last biology class before the holidays will start:
    Teacher: So...Who's missing??
    Me: Ă„hem...L's brain is missing...
    teacher: Oh..that's's always the same thing....
  8. Calihan

    Calihan Captain

    Sep 20, 2004
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    We were talking about a class in which we don't do much and it'd be more productive working on other things/.

    Me: With this class we're getting screwed like Traci Lords.

    This was about a can of soda which I gave to a friend of mine and he asked about the sand on it.

    Rudy: This looks like you dug in a mine with it
    Me: If I dug in a mine with it, it'd be as dark as the population of Africa.

    My friend was telling us about a female friend of his that he saw this weekend.

    Rudy: I told her she was as pretty as Natalie Holloway.

    We had to watch Fantasia in drama today interestingly we watched it because we've been discussing how music affects a movie and what it does to the mood in scenes. We had just finished the scene with Horses flying around.

    Me: Thank god that scene's over it was gayer than Mark Foley.

    This was about a scene in the movie with hippos.

    Me: They're still smaller than Rosie O Donnell.
  9. Calihan

    Calihan Captain

    Sep 20, 2004
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    Me and Mike have been thinking up our own music videos by finding an appropiate song for people. I have a lot of them to post the format is Person: Song

    Madie Mcain: Searchin
    David Patterson (Governor of New York): Blinded by the light

    Ted Kennedy: I will survive
    Natalie Holloway: Stay
    Robert Byrd: Song of the south
    Larry Craig: Smoking in the boy's room
    Mark Foley at a kiddie pool: Just what I needed, Hush
    Michael Vick: Puppy Love
    JFK: Hey man nice shot
    Wilford Brimley: Sugar, Sugar
    Princess Diana: Tunnel of Love
    John Hinckly: They're coming to take me away
    Jodie Foster :She's more than a woman to me
    Marlee Matlin: Sounds of Silence
    Christopher Reeve: Wild Horses
    Richard Simmons: Barby Girl

    This was a short conversation amongst me and two other people

    Justin: You're the second girliest girl I know.
    Sarah: Who's the most girly?
    Justin: I don't remember their names
    Me: Who are you Kobe Bryant?
  10. Calihan

    Calihan Captain

    Sep 20, 2004
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    Me (about another student who was biking with me and a teacher because he likes dead end streets): He's crazier then John Hinckly

    Me (about the same student complaining about hills): These streets are flatter then Ben Stein's voice

    Bridget: Why are all the boys here so into arguing?
    (We were too shocked to say anything but there was a collective WTF)
    Bridget: At my old school all the boys were idiots.
    Mike: I'd rather be an idiot then be in a bitchy mood every time I bleed.
  11. Calihan

    Calihan Captain

    Sep 20, 2004
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    Ms. D was standing by a table

    Rudy: Why are you posing so seductively?
    Ms D: What?
    Rudy: The way you're standing, stand more lady like
  12. Marns

    Marns CSI Level Two

    Jan 12, 2007
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    Mr. B: I have..
    K, O and R: .. no life!
  13. my_last_chance

    my_last_chance Police Officer

    Mar 12, 2008
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    This happened in Social Studies a while ago.

    Some random guy: Was Princess Diana the queen of Asia?
  14. Marns

    Marns CSI Level Two

    Jan 12, 2007
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    ^ Haha. :D

    (My teacher was impersonating me, we were doing this comedy thing, sort of. I'm really bad at translating, I'm warning you.)
    Mr. V: Sir, can I go get my books from my locker? Sir, I didn't bring my books. Sir, I forgot my books! Sir, I think my books are in my locker but I'm not sure, can I go see if they're in there? AARGH Marny, sometimes I wish I could just throw you out of the window. Even though it's only a meter high.
    Me: So, does this mean you're not gonna let me get my books next time?
    Class: AAARGH!
  15. DetHiggins

    DetHiggins Police Officer

    Sep 24, 2008
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    Just found this thread and I am laughing my butt off. Okay welcome to the world of my French class. First let me say that my French teacher is like really young.

    Addison: Mom
    Ms M: Did you just call me mom?
    Conner: Can we?
    Ms M: No
    Addison: Mama!

    Principal: *over the loudspeaker about the homecoming dress up days* From now on, cross-dressing is no longer allowed...

    Then in Biology...

    Ashley: Why does your hair turn grey when you get older?
    Mr. O: *goes into a long explanation about cells*
    Me: *to my table partner* It means you're dying...

    I can't really remember all the hilariousness of my school but more will come!

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