Re: Episode #609: 'Stand Your Ground' ***CONTAINS SPOILERS**
I fear for the future of Miami I really do. Those kids were selling drugs FOR
SHOES OMG! Shoes! Shoes! What were they getting paid in? SHOES! CHEAP SHOES!
"I only wanted the shoes." OMG get a job you lazy hippie! Who fucking sells drugs for shoes? How stupid do you have to be? Are the shoes made of heroin? No? THEN WHY WHY WHY WHY?!
I can't believe this CALLEIGH centric episode ended with Ho Patron Saint Of Woeful Teenagers staring into the sunset. I kept hoping for at least a two second slo mo shot of Calleigh going home, Calleigh at the teacher's funeral, Calleigh removing a piece of lint off her jacket, Calleigh stomping on Jake's crotch, but no. Ho in all his orange glory, staring into the sunset. Because we don't get enough of that, you see.
I can't believe Eric was the only person who talked to Calleigh and comforted her. The. Only. One. Even her stand up boyfriend Jake didn't even ask her if she was okay, he only called her because he wanted her statement. These people don't care about each other at all! I'm sorry, but Eric and Calleigh need to leave Miami, move back to New Orleans and run their own CSI lab. Oh, I guess they can bring Alexx, too, she was SORT OF concerned (but not too much). That was fucked up, man. She nearly died.
DIED. Yet no one cared about her but Eric. Come on, now. That was BS.
Jake giving Calleigh grief, we all saw that coming. I loved the look on her face when Eric told her that Jake is a good guy. She was all, "um, can you use it in a sentence?" Also, you're the man, dude, pay the tab. Also, your girlfriend nearly DIED. I can't believe he didn't even seem to care. Write him out already. I can't believe they've dragged this triangle for so long. Usually this only happens when both guys are great guys, but seriously, they might as well dress Jake up in all in black week after week, give him a long mustache for him to twirl and a top hat. At least Calleigh is starting to see his true colors, though I can't believe it took her like 6 months. She sort of deserves it, I guess. Have fun with your lying alcoholic sleazy ass boyfriend, Cal. Does anybody watch 30 Rock? He's so the Dennis to her Liz. He's the rat king.
I blacked out for a full 6 minutes when I saw Horatio holding that flashlight. Alright, so he told Ryan to process the blood sample, but still, that SORT OF qualifies as work. I made a clip of it and saved it straight into C:\Users\owner\Downloads\videos\nowiveseeneverything
The return of Eric's magic hugs
I want a magic hug.
Were Ryan and Natalia even in this episode? I don't notice them unless they're fucking up or telling people "that guy killed your brother/son/father" resulting in that person killing the murderer and hundreds of lives are ruined.
So basically, Jake was legally drunk while on the job. Nice. I love it when the guy who is supposed to be protecting me from the bad guys is buzzing. My favorite part was him lying to Calleigh about it. Even that 13 year old kid owned up to his actions. And got a pair of shoes out of the whole deal.
In the history of the show, how many people have come out of unconsciousness only to come face to face with Horatio's arrogant smug? I'd willingly put myself back into a coma if I woke up in a hospital bed and the first thing I saw was his face.
Unpopular opinion, but I love Stetler. I love him. I love him. I love him! And where he goes I'll follow, I'll follow, I'll follow. Come on guys he only wants to make sweet sweet love to Horatio. And he can only express his inadequate feelings through anger. It's a classic love story. The House of Pies, y'all. It's coming.
Honestly, SHOES!