CSI:NY..."The Rebel Side" Comedy Skits

As Sinclair looked on. Stetler was being held back by Sinclair.

"Would you stop being such a moron. It's not a game you dumb ass cake boy." Now Adam. There has to be some secret to getting this stuff off."

"I'm sorry Sinclair, there isn't. It has to wear off."

As Sinclair looked around, he seen Calleigh enjoying Flacks thighs.

CSI Duquesne, remove your eyes right now."

Laughing she said...."I can't sir, they are stuck on his beautiful tight thigh."

"You're pissing me off Calleigh. Get you hands of my Flack," whispered danny.

"That's it, I've had enough. Everyone down to the morgue now. I'll freeze everyone of you little bastards."

As they all tried heading down to morgue. Stella's hair was forcing her head to bend on Horatio's waist.

"Ummm...Stella. If you could try not to breathe so heavy, that would be quiet helpful," panted H.

Nearing the elevator, the Lab techs began to laugh. For Flack, Calleigh, and Danny looked like one of those lobsters, cause Danny was on his knees, and had to use his hands like claws.

Once downstairs Sid stared in awe.

"Ummm...what have here? Some twisted game of S&M?"

"Funny Sid, I want you to put these idiots into the large freezer, let them ice up a bit. Especially Flack and Horatio, before they....well you know."

Sid had never seen anything so funny. Until he seen Stetler playing with himself excitedly.

"What the hell is wrong with him?"

"For Christ sakes Stelter, calm down, you're like a dog in heat. SIT."

After they waited about ten minutes. Sid opened the door, and let them out.

"Now what Sinclair?"

"Pour some hot water on the glue, very carefully. It should become sticky enough to break apart."

Filling some containers with water, Stella began to feel her hair loosen, as did Danny who was now able to remve his head from Calleigh's chest.

"Well...come on Calleigh, your next. Move you hand." said Mac.

"Oh my, I've tried ya know. But no luck here, she laughed. Oh well, I guess we are stuck like chicken and grits, oil and butter."

Walking over, Mac grabbed Calleigh's hand and pulled it from Flacks thigh.

"Oh my, Look. Those grits must have dried up." growled Mac in a female voice.

"Don't be jealous baby, their's lots of Callicious to go around."

"Don't piss with him Calleigh, KEEP AWAY FROM MY MAN"

"Is that all you ever say Stellastien." Walking away from Mac, she pinched his tight little tush.

"Now everyone have a seat." yelled Sinclair.

Seeing a little glue left in the vile. Calleigh picked it up and put it on Stetler's and Sinclair's seat, and as they sat, Calleigh yelled.....

"LET'S GET THE FLOCK OUTTA HERE, I GLUED THEM TO THEIR SEAT."

Running out the door, onto the street, Mac and the Rebel's headed to the nearest bar.


Meanwhile Stelter and Sinclair tried to wiggle out of their pants.

"Mmm...need some help there you dark chocolate devil you."

"I'm warning you Stetler, keep your pansey hands to yourself."

"If you say so, lucious, but I'm already out of mine."

Sinclair was trying not to look. For Stetler's pink neon thongs were blinding him.

"God damn it, my zipper is stuck?"

"Mmm..here I'll help you."

Bending down on one knee, in his pink thongs, he pulled at Sinclairs zipper when Lindsay walked in with Adam.

"Oh....my....God....."

"I see nothing," said Adam running from the room howling.
 
I have a couple I'm going to post from the Miami Rebel's I did a year ago. I think these two skits you'll enjoy. These ones went off really well. So enjoy:lol:




The next day....

"H", What's up for today"? said Eric

"Well, we have a crime scene on McDonald farm , grab your bag and call Calleigh.

"Calleigh", Shake your tail, we have a crime scene on McDonald Farm". said Eric.

"Oh, EYEYEYEYOO, maybe we'll see Porkey Pig". said Calleigh.

"Where in the world is Ryan"? asked "H".

"He's most likely busy with the left hand again"? said Eric

Calleigh couldn't help but laugh, poor Ryan was the only one who went home withot a date last night.

"I'm right here Eric, and I have a size ten to shove up your ass, if you don't back off".

"Enough, let's go". said "H".

At the Crime Scene....

"What have we got Tripp"? asked "H".

"What do you think"? "God you're such an ass, can't you see". "Why is it you alway's say, "What have we got Tripp". When you know what is when dispatch call you".

"You don't have to yell at me Tripp. I just like to sound professional".

"Whatever "H".

"Ohhh!, said Eric, look's like Tripp didn't get any last night".

"Shut your trap Eric", said Tripp pointing his finger.

"You know Tripp, either did Ryan, maybe the two of you would like 5 minutes in "H"s Hummer". said Calleigh

"Like Hell, said "H", their ain't gonna be no pumping in my Hummer".

"Listen you dumb blonde, I've got a pair a cuff's with your name on them". Said Tripp.

Calleigh laughed "Like you'd know what to do with them".

"Calleigh, Eric, Ryan, start processing, Tripp, go play in the corner or something , we have real work to do". said "H"

"You CSI's are all the same, "bunch of mixed nuts". said Frank.

"Look Eric, what does that look like to you"? asked Calleigh.

"I'm not sure, could be blood", said Eric.

As Ryan walked over to check it out he tripped and fell into a pile of dung.

"SHIT", said Ryan.

"That's exactly what it is Ryan", said Calleigh laughing.

"Come on Ryan this is no time to be rolling in the mud", said "H".

At that moment Stetler walked over.

"What's that funky smell", said Stetler.

Calleigh was laughing so hard she dropped her gum from her mouth.

"It's Ryan, he fell in the shit". said Calleigh.

"Never mind that, "What the hell do you want Stetler"?

"I came to see what you had".

"We have two dead cows, and one dead human", said "H", it looks like someone possitioned the cows on top of the body".

"That's different", said Stetler.

"That it is, that it is". said "H".

"Why the hell do you do that "H", say everything twice"? said Stetler.

"Because you crossdressing lover girl, It's in case you don't hear me the first time". "Now get the hell out of my Crime scene, said "H".

Later back at the Lab Calleigh was processing the cow with Eric.

"Calleigh look at this", said Eric.

"What the hell is that on the cows utter"? said Calleigh :eek

"Beats me said Eric, kind of crusty".

Eric bent down to have a closer look while Caleigh held the Utter.

"SQUIRT", "Jesus Calleigh, you damn bimbo, look what the hell you did", said Eric.

"What did you call me, you Cuban dip stick.

"Damn Bimbo, grabbing an utter Eric squirted her back

"SQUIRT", you back of a donkey's ass, "SQUIRT,SQUIRT,"

"SQUIRT, SQUIRT, Horatio and Ryan walk in to milk flying everywhere and ryan falls on his ass.

"What the *uc* Eric and Calleigh, knock it off, yelled "H" "And Ryan get the hell off the ground.

"I can't you dumb ass, the milk is to slippery".

Horatio went to pull Ryan up and fell on top of him while Stetler walked in.

"Well, well, lookie here, I guess I'm not the only Miami cakeboy". Said Stetler.

"Up your's Stetler, said Ryan.

"get the hell over here Stetler and help us up", said "H".

As Stetler went to pull up "H" Ryan came up with him, "Christ let go Ryan", said "H".

"I can't I'm stuck to you somehow, what the hell is this stuff"?

Eric and Calleigh couldn't release their hands from the utters.

"What the hell Eric, I'm stuck, said Calleigh.

"So am I, Calleigh, "What the hell is this stuff"?

As Horatio and Ryan tried to seperate, Stetler still had ryan hand.

"You can let go now Stetler, said Ryan.

"I Can't I'm stuck to your hand". "By the way Ryan, they are very soft".

"Keep it down Stetler, I can still kick you in the nuts", said Ryan.

"Horatio what the hell are we going to do, we are all stuck and I need to pee", said Calleigh.

"Listen Ryan and Stetler, we are going to hop over to the phone and call Tripp". "On my count we hop, ONE, TWO, THREE, hop.

"God damn "H" we are stuck to the floor", said Ryan.

"I have to pee", said Calleigh again.

"Shut the hell up Calleigh, yelled "H".

At that moment Tripp opened the Lab door.

"NO", STAY WHERE YOU ARE TRIPP", yelled everyone at the same time.

"What the hell is this"? asked Tripp.

"There was something in the cows milk, some kind of glue or sticky substance, we are all stuck together, get some warm water and grab a couple extinglishers", said "H".


Frank came back with a pail of hot water and two extinglishers,

"Now what "H"? , said Tripp.

"Step around the milk and pour the warm water on Ryan and I first", said "H".

As Frank poured the hot water between their waist, they screamed.

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! "what the hell... yelled "H", you burnt my thighs, I told you warm you stupid piece of shit".

" Screw You "H", try to do you a favour and you call me names".

"Well christ frank., that burned, I said warm, and now I'm going to have too go around with burned packages". And Ryan stop blubbering at least we are seperated".

WAAAAAA!!! "Stetler still has my hand".

"SHHHH! Ryan be a good boy and I'll make your pain go away, said Stetler.

"H","H","H", get this Cakeboy off me right now". yelled Ryan.

Frank brought over the water and poured it on Ryan and Stetler's hands, as they seperated.

"Come on Tripp, I need too pee, said Calleigh.

Once everyone seperated Calleigh ran into the bathroom, Eric used the extinglishers and froze the cows utters, Ryan tried to cool his burns, while "H" walked like he had just gotten off a horse.

"Where are you going "H"? asked Tripp.

"To my office to change my pants". "You Idiots finish processing".

Once the Lab was cleaned and everything was processed, Horatio called a meeting in his office.

"Where the hell is Ryan"?, asked "H".

"He said he needed to fix himself in the washroom", said Eric.

At the moment Ryan walked in with a huge diaper in his pants.

"What the hell is that in your pant's Ryan, asked "H"

"It's a God damn depend diaper stuffed with Ice cubes okay", I'm in pain here".

Calleigh was splitting herself laughing, "You look like that New Year baby", the one with the big ears on Rudulph's Shinning New Year".

SCREW YOU Calleigh", at least I didn't pee my pants on the way to the washroom", said Ryan.

"Okay you two that's enough", said "H".

"Eric what did you find"? asked "H"

"Nothing on the victim or the cow", said Eric.

"Calleigh what the hell was on the cows utter and in the milk"?

"It was a super glue base, I guess someone put it the cows milk", that would explain why the victims mouth was glued shut".

"Ryan, stop playing and concentrate on this case, said "H".

"Screw you "H", you're not the one hurting here".

"Suck it back big boy, said calleigh, you could always see Stetler, he offered for you".

"Listen guy's, we'll meet here at 7 tonight and go disrupt Miami again", said "H". "Oh and Ryan lose the bloody diaper".

As they left the office, Eric ran into Natalia.

"Hey, hot pants, want some Delko play it time tonight"

"Screw you Eric, my cat's bigger then you".

Calleigh started laughing at Eric. "God Eric, you're such a loser".

"You'd know you Pissy Pants, Peter loving , Blonde Bimbo".
 
ROTFLOL!!!! :guffaw: :guffaw: :guffaw: Oh God, I'm dying here with that last Miami sketch!! The best part was when Horatio was walking around like he got off a horse!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: The mental image!!! The best line was:

"Because you crossdressing lover girl, It's in case you don't hear me the first time".

:lol: :lol: :lol: Hilarious MLA!!! I'm loving this series!! Keep up the great writing!! :)
 
Once Sinclair seen what Adam and Lindsay had seen, he pushed Stelter back, right onto the floor.

"Get your pink honky butt away from me."

"I was just trying to help."

"You can help by getting on new pants, and covering that nasty pink thong."

"But I don't have any with me." he whined.

"Let's just get the hell out of here and find those damn rebels."


Meanwhile.....

Mac, Horatio and the others had arrived at the crime in the park.

"Holy shit, what the hell happened to this guy? And what is that all over him?"

"I'll check."

As Sid bent over and smelled, Danny decided to be smart, and kick his butt, landing his face in the guys chest.

"Blaaaaaaaaaah....oh God what a stentch."

Danny was howling, for he could smell Sid from where he was standing.

Getting pissed with Danny, Sid walked over, took Danny's glasses, and wiped them all over the smelly goo."

"Take that Messer."

"Enough, yelled Mac. Would you two stop. What the hell is on the body."

"Sewer garbage, someone dumped this guy in the sewer."

"Well call a damn hauler, and get this body out of here Sid."

"I can't Mac, all our haulers our busy."

"Then we have to use H's Hummer."

"Like hell.....he said as he took off his glasses and stood to the side...There is no way, that thing is going anywhere near my Betsy."

"Christ H, we just can't leave him here." said Mac.

"We can....and we will."

Walking away from the group. Mac said...

"Grab the body guys, I'll distract H, and you guys put him in the back of Betsy."

"Are you nuts Mac, he'll kill us."

"I said do it."

While Mac pulled H aside, Eric, Flack, Danny, Calleigh and the rest of the team crunched the smelly bugger, into the back of ole Betsy.

"Let's go H, we need to get back to that lab." yelled Eric.

Coming back towards the Hummer he said.....

"Where.......where is the body?"

"We got in touch with a hauler, he's on his way."

"Okay Eric, Okay....now I need a drink."

As they were driving back to the lab, Horatio could smell the stench of toxic gas.

"I thought....I thought we left Sid behind?"

"We did Horatio."

"Then what.....is that smell?"

"Ummm....could be our feet, maybe left over from the crime scene." said Calleigh.

"That.....is not feet."

Pulling over the Hummer, Horatio and the gang got out, seen Stelter and Sinclair pull up behind them.

"Horatio....you son of a boar, get back to Miami now."

Everyone laughed.

"Oh my God, You damn fruitcake Stetler, look at that pink thong, your look like a crossdressing tarzan", said Danny.

With everyone laughing, Stelter tried to hide himself behind Sinclair.

"Get your God damn fairy butt away from me."

Ignoring Stetler, Horatio opened his trunk, and the body came right out on top of Stetler and Sinclair.

"Ewwwww....laughed the gang. Grosss, Stetler and Sinclair are dirty, dirty boys." laughed Calleigh.

Getting back into the Hummer Horatio sat, started the engine and said....

"This....this is the last time any of you violate my Betsy."

Pulling out, they left Stetler and Sinclair covered in sewer guck.
 
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