CSI:NY..."The Rebel Side" Comedy Skits

A short time later Horatio, Mac and the gang were hanging in the lab when Stetler and Sinclair came walking in all beat up.

Calleigh howled. For Stetler had his pants torn showing his pink panties with a huge purple bruise on thigh, his arms, and his left eye.

"Oh my God!!! You look like one of those ugly little pound puppies."

"For Christ sakes Stetler, pull up your pants your pink panties are blinding my eyes even through my sunnies"

"Shove it Horatio. Or better yet kiss my butt." Bending over Stetler showed H his rosey red cheeks.

"Mac....you son of bitch. Look at my good pants."

"Never mind that Sinclair. What the hell is that on your chest?"

Just as Sinclair looked down the phone rang.

"Caine. Horatio Caine. Yeah...okay... okay. We'll be right there."

"Let's go guys we got a call out to the beach front. Two victims found bound and shot."

"Oh yay!!! another trip with you guys, how awesome is that."

"Shut the hell up and let's get Betsy."

As they got to the garage they noticed Betsy wasn't ready.

"What the....!!!! you told me she'd be ready"

"I'm sorry H. We had strict orders from Stetler that you are to have no more hummer's."

"I'm sorry son? Well.. we will just see about that."

Heading out to the underground parking Horatio found Stelter's brand new fire red convertable.

Smashing the window they all jumped in.

"Holy shit H. Are you nuts? Stetler is going to lose it."

Looking at Eric with anger he said....."I...don't...give...a...shit."

Pulling out of the underground they headed to the crime scene.

"What have we got Frank?"

"What the hell have I told you about that H. Stop asking me...what do we have Frank? When you already know from dispatch. God H. Sometimes you are such a loser.

"Now listen son. In about five seconds I'm going to shove my new sunnies up your fat a$$

As everyone laughed Frank picked up sand and threw it at Horatio's red convertable.

"One more word Horatio and I'll smash your new car."

"I'll tell you what Frank. I dare you. Go ahead make my day."

Walking over to the car Frank smashed the headlights, slashed the tires and shot the interior just as Stetler and Sinclair showed up.

":censored::censored::censored::censored: Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!! my baby. What the hell are you doing Frank?"

Looking at Stetler with a dumb expression he said....."Ummm...see ya."

Taking off in his cruiser he left Horatio and the CSI Rebels to deal with a bruised and now crying Stetler.
 
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I didn't know what to expect when I clicked on this thread... OMG!:guffaw:

Thank you MacsLovlyAngl for helping me to expand my english potty mouth vocabulaire. :D
 
"This is your fault Horatio. You red headed sunnie wearing loser. I'll see you never get your Betsy back."

"Bite me Stetler. Bite me. Let's go guys."

"Hold it Mac. You and your team of degenerates get back to NY now."

"Now you listen to me Sinclair. In about five seconds I'm going to shove a mud hole where the sun don't shine."

As Sinclair ran towards Mac he moved, causing Sinclair to fall face first in the sand.

"Let's go Horatio."

Flagging a cab they all got in. With Ryan sitting on Danny's knee, Calleigh on Horatio's, Eric on Flacks, and Stella on Mac's.

"Christ Ryan, stop wiggling."

"Mmm...sounds like a party going on over there," laughed Calleigh.

When they arrived back at Miami-Dade, everyone got out of the cab except for Danny.

"Come on Messer. Let's go."

"I'll be there in a minute. I just need to talk to the cabby, God damn it."

Looking down Calleigh laughed.

"Oh my God. Umm...okay. See ya."

Running to catch up with Stella she giggled....

"Holy Christ. Danny's really packing."

"Huh..."

"Never mind. Horatio! why are we back here?"

"To steal a hummer. Now shut the hell up."

Sneaking around the corner, Horatio looked to see if anyone was in the garage.

"Oh....look, I see Betsy 2."

Running to the hummer while everyone watched he said....

"Oh my Betsy. You are all better."

Hugging his hummer everyone laughed.

"Christ H you are mentally pathetic."

Turning to the side, removing his sunnies Horatio said....

"Son...This is my hummer.... and when you are in my hummer You....never....upset her."

"God save from your pathetic one liners." Said Mac.

"Putting on his sunnies he said..."Just get in son. Just get in."

Climbing into the hummer Calleigh took off her shoes and dumped the sand on the floor.

"Auuuuuuuuuugh....what the hell you doing Calleigh?"

"Dumping the sand out of my shoes."

"Not in my hummer you don't."

Bending down to wipe out the sand, Calleigh moved her foot and kicked off H's sunnies.

"Calleigh!!!! You dumb blonde....."

"Don't say it H. Don't say it." She giggled imitating him.

As everyone watched H reach for what looked like a gun. As he raised it, everyone ducked.

"What...it's just a hand held vaccume."
 
*gasping for air* ...sooooooooo funny! I'm not expecting this, too!
H, oh, H. Loves his Hummer. Well for sure it'll be the same for Mac and their Chevy Avalanche
 
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ROTFL at "it's just a hand-held vaccum". :lol: :guffaw:

Okay, so LV has Chevy Tahoes, NY has Avalanche and Miami has Hummers. Who makes Hummers? I can't remember. :lol:
 
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As they were heading out from Miami-Dade, Mac got the call from Adam to return to NY.

"Listen guys. We need to head back to NY tonight. We have a triple homicide waiting for us."

"Oh cool. Horatio...let's go with them. It's been a long time since we've seen NY."

"What do you think Betsy? Can you make it to NY?"

"Honk, honk. Beeped Horatio. Causing the team to bow their head in shameless laughter.

"Well...Betsy says...."let's go H, let's go. So I guess we are going."

"Yay...I need to run home and pack my big bag."

"Listen you dumb blonde. There is no time to go home, now sit back, shut up, or I'll put you in Betsy's trunk, and you can smell her gas all the way to NY."

"You're so rude Horatio. At least I don't play with my sunnies while I shower."

"Okay, okay...laughed Mac. Let's just all get there in one piece."

"I have a piece for you Mac? Wanna see it?" winked Calleigh, as she went to unclip her pants.

"Hey...back off country sleeze girl, he's mine. Keep your cow milking hands away from him."

"Ewww....is little Stella wella jealous that the Calleigh girl has more to offer, or add to that Mac nine mil."

"I mean it Calleigh...keep your hands off my man."

Reaching her hands to Mac's neck, she began massaging him, deeper into his skin she went, as he hissed and moaned.

"That sounds like he's made his choice."

"That's it you blonde piece of trailor trash."

Picking up her left over burger and shake, she threw it at Calleigh missing her, as it landed on Horatio's hair and sunnies. With the after affects of the pickles and tomatoe landing on Mac.

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhit...damn you two stop these childish games or we will put you in the trunk."

"Go ahead and try Mr I wanna be Bruce Lee. Ohhh look at me, I'm Mac Taylor, I can walk, I can talk, I can kick, I can even go poopie, can you go poopie."

Everyone holwed.

"That's it Horatio. Pull the Betsy over."

Pulling over to the side. Mac got out and lifted Stella first. Carrying her to the top of the hummer he tied her up. Then as he went to grab Calleigh she took off down the road, but didn't get far, when she feel into the ditch.

"Oooowww....God damn it, get me the hell outta here you dirty bugger."

"Your wish is my command Calleigh." Picking her up out of the ditch, he tied her on top with Stella.

"Now...shut the hell up."

Getting back into the hummer, he told Horatio to drive.

"Thank Christ Mac. Those girls were giving me a headache." said Eric.

Laying up top Calleigh was getting frusterated and angry, when she noticed the knife in the black bag.

"Look Stellastien, a knife, we should be able to cut these ropes, surprise the guys, and tie them up top."

"Sounds like a plan."

Once they were untied. Calleigh grabbed the can of silver paint left over from the hummer. Opening the top, she poured it down the front window.

"What the hell is that?" asked Mac.

"God damn them. That's paint, Calleigh you are one dead CSI when I get out."

Exiting the car. The boys couldn't find the girls. As they neared the trunk, the girls pushed them in and slammed it shut.

"Tie it up Stella, hurry."

Once the trunk was locked good and tight, Calleigh said...."Now you dirty, dirty, boys behave. We don't want to hear no thumping back there now ya'll."
 
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