CSI:Miami Road Trip- We've Travelled a Long Way

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Stare off. Oh man i always lose those. Seriously I start laughing like 2 seconds in. lol. Anyways Great chapter, Trevor's going to Brazil, very interesting. And Speed...stop walking closer to Calleigh your a married man. lol. Anyways like I said before. Great chapter and I can't wait for the next update.
 
*still waiting for Calleigh to be reunited with him, even if it's ugly* Great updates, I can't wait for the next one.
 
You both are in the Swing Shift. I want to join the club too. *whines* Stupid..Me being a corpse. *sigh*

You Can Have What's Left Of Me

[Lab]

Delko: So...I guess you and Speed are breaking up then.

Katie: Eric, you're so dumb.

Delko: Well everytime you have an argument, he breaks up with you and then a storm ironically comes around and calms everything down. There's some symbolism to jam up your pipe.

Katie: ...What pipe?

Delko: All I'm saying is, I've known him forever and he doesn't want to put up with people he hates.

Katie: That's...Terrible.

Delko: Luckily he loves you, so you're in business.

Katie: That's a tricky little game.

Delko: He would probably give the world to you if you asked, but for God's sakes, lay off the guy a while and stop being so paranoid.

Katie: He really would do that?

Delko: Oh definetely.

Katie: How do you know?

Delko: Do you see how he treats victims? If only he's treat me like that just once...

Katie: What does that have to do with anything?

Delko: If he's that nice to victims, I can tell how he is with you.

Katie: How do you know he doesn't beat me and scream at me when I get home?

Delko: Because it would hurt his throat and we all know how much he loves to talk.

Katie: He doesn't talk that much.

Delko: Well he can hear himself in his head.

Katie: He doesn't have a throat in his head so it wouldn't hurt if he screamed at me.

Delko: Maybe he'll go deaf from yelling and then he won't be able to hear himself think.

Katie: I think deaf people can hear themselves think.

Delko: Do you think they should call that hearing if they're considered deaf?

Katie: If it's in their head yeah.

Delko: They don't have ears in their head.

Katie: They have ears ON their head.

Delko: Wouldn't it be cool if there were little aliens inside our heads controlling what we do?

Katie: ...Yeah it's called a brain.

Delko: But your brain isn't alive.

Katie: Then how are you alive if your brain isn't alive?

Delko: My heart works.

Katie: Yeah but if you didn't have a brain, you wouldn't be able to do anything.

Delko: But without a heart, you can't live. The blood flow wouldn't go anywhere.

Katie: But if your brain were dead, you wouldn't be able to go anywhere. Even if your heart worked.

Delko: Don't you kind of need both to live?

Katie: Well yeah, that and lungs.

Delko: You only need one lung to live.

Katie: And one kidney.

Delko: So why do we have two of each?

Katie: Yeah, like why do we have two eyes? We can see out of one. And two ears, we can hear out of one. And what's the deal with 5 toes? Toes are useless.

Delko: Well if you only had one of each, you would be a very lopsided person.

Katie: Yeah but it's necessity that counts.

Delko: Not really, looks count too.

Katie: What counts is on the inside.

Delko: You have a calculator inside of you?

Katie: No, by counting I meant it means something.

Delko: So if there wasn't anything on the outside, how does the inside stay inside?

Katie: Skin.

Delko: What if you were born without skin?

Katie: Then you'd get infections and die.

Delko: But you can get skin cancer, so isn't it better to not have skin? That way you can't have skin cancer.

Katie: It doesn't matter, cancer spreads anyway.

Delko: What if cancer was like an STD?

Katie: It's not.

Delko: You don't have any STDs do you?

Katie: What? That's a stupid question. No I don't.

Delko: Does Speed?

Katie: You'd think if he did, I would too and I'm pretty sure I'm peachy keen.

Delko: Well maybe when he had like coffee with a certain porn star, they went back to his place and had desert.

Katie: *blinks* ....TIM! *runs out*

Delko: ...It could happen.

[Hallway]

Katie: TIM! TIM! TIM!

Speed: *turns around* What?

Katie: DON'T BREAK UP WITH ME!

Speed: ...I'm not.

Katie: Eric said you would but you won't because you love me and you'd give the world to me. It's like having one eye and no skin. That way you can't get cancer, because it's not an STD.

Speed: *blank stare* ...Did Eric throw meth down your throat too?

Katie: But you'd give the world to me right?

Speed: Katie, I'd give the universe to you, but my Visa card only goes up to 5000 dollars.

Katie: So you're not breaking up with me?

Speed: Of course not. What would give you that idea?

Katie: Who knows where ideas come from? They just appear.

Speed: Yeah probably from Eric's head.

Katie: So you'll sleep in the bed tonight and not the couch?

Speed: Uh...Are you sure this is a conversation we should be having in the middle of the hall?

Katie: Why not?

Speed: Well you're speaking really loudly and people can hear this.

Katie: So? They know we're married it's only natural they'd assume we sleep in the same bed, well not always for sleeping but you get the i-

Speed: *covers Katie's mouth* Okay, why don't you come sit down in the Trace lab and use your inside voice.

Katie: *sits* Okay. OH! Can we get a puppy?

Speed: ...You want a puppy?

Katie: Not really. Can we get a kitty?

Speed: You want a cat?

Katie: Well...No not really. LET'S GET A BIRD!

Speed: We both work so who's going to feed a bird?

Katie: ...It can hunt in the backyard.

Speed: My backyard is a slew with alligators. I doubt the bird would find lunch, it would become lunch.

Katie: So we can investigate it's little murder.

Speed: You're asking for pets at a time like this?

Katie: Why not?

Speed: *sits down* Alright. If you wanted a baby just ask.

Katie: WHOA I never said I wanted a baby.

Speed: So you want to buy out all the pets in Miami for no reason?

Katie: A baby is not a pet.

Speed: ...*frowns*

Katie: DANG IT you always read my mind. So can we have a baby?

Speed: Why?

Katie: ...Um...To re-populate the earth.

Speed: How many were you planning on having?

Katie: HA. HA.

Speed: I don't think you've thought this over very well.

Katie: No but see, this works out for you too because we'd have to do it like...5 times a day.

Speed: *blinks* You do realize I work like 16 hour days right?

Katie: So? We have the entire night.

Speed: ....I seriously don't think you've thought this over.

Katie: Oh come on, you're a guy. You're supposed to want to do that.

Speed: Katie we're not rabbits.

Katie: I'll go buy you some rabbit ears.

Speed: What have you been smoking?

Katie: Nothing...HEY LET'S GO HOME.

Speed: No.

Katie: Why not?

Speed: Because you're scaring me.

Katie: Come on, you might get some exercise.

Speed: That's not the exercise I had in mind.

Katie: Come on, it's better than a run around the block. God knows you've already been around the block 20 times with Calleigh.

Speed: This isn't really helping you know.

Katie: COME ON!

Speed: *sigh* ....Go bug Eric for a while.

Katie: But I don't want kids with Eric.

Speed: I have paperwork to do.

Katie: So?

Speed: So it helps if it's quiet in here.

Katie: I'm a very quiet person. OH CAN I NUMBER PAGES?!

Speed: They're already numbered.

Katie: Can I....Hit myself in the head with an axe?

Speed: *writing* Sure.

Katie: Can I...Wear a suit and tie and go to court and then kill myself?

Speed: If you want.

Katie: ....*frowns* ...Speed wears women's underwear...

Speed: *looks up* Katie, you have lips for a reason. They're there to keep your mouth shut.

Katie: I thought they were for k-....

Speed: *frowns*

Katie: I'll be good.

TBC,..........
 
OMG I crack myself up. lol. And seriously why do we have 2 kidney and 2 eyes and 2 ears like...and yeah whats up with that five toe business? lol. Sorry that chapter made me very hiper. lol.

Katie: No but see, this works out for you too because we'd have to do it like...5 times a day.

hahahahahahahah, that whole conversation with Speed cracked me up. Update soon please.
 
HAHA, Katie answer for everything is 'Did you rape her?' haha, Now that I finished reading the 2nd RT I actually understand that now :D She's not going to let him forget that in a hurry :p

and that whole last chapter cracked me up, even the part about little miss Sara... "i'm too busy sleeping with people to turn on the TV and find out that a police officer was killed"...Piper

that whole conversation with Eric was hilarious :lol:

please update soon
 
YAY! *dances around spastically* My goshness it's so bright in my room, I'm going to have to steal H's sunnies.

She Tried So Hard, And Got So Far But In The End It Doesn't Even Matter

[Trace lab]

Katie: Tim...Tim...*pokes Speed* Tim...Tim...*pokes Speed* Tim...Tim....Tim...*pokes Speed* Tim...Tim...T-

Speed: *looks up slowly* Do you want to lose that finger?

Katie: How do you suppose CSIs with 4 fingers wear 5-fingered laytex gloves?

Speed: I haven't met many CSIs with 4 fingers.

Katie: Really? Because everyone has 4 fingers. What kind of mutants do you hang out with?

Speed: You know what I meant and I'm not sure annoying me is the best way to get in my pants.

Katie: What would be the best way?

Speed: Well the best way to get in my pants would be to get in my pants, but since we're not talking literally then...There is nothing you could do.

Katie: Ya know, this is why you don't have very many girlfriends.

Speed: No, I don't have very many girlfriends because I'm married.

Katie: Yeah right like women would line up to sleep with you. Pfft.

Speed: And what are you doing right now?

Katie: NOT YOU OBVIOUSLY.

Speed: Okay, you know what? I'm leaving. *gets up*

Katie: Where are you going?

Speed: Home. *leaves*

Katie: ...

Speed: *walks back in* Are you coming or not?

Katie: HEY! Now THAT'S the Speedle I married.

Speed: *grabs Katie*

[Speed/Katie's house]

Speed: Okay have at it.

Katie: ...Have at what?

Speed: I'm going back to work. You can do whatever you want in here.

Katie: ...Are you serious?

Speed: I didn't tell Horatio I was leaving. He'd probably kill me if he found out I went home to become a rabbit.

Katie: What am I supposed to do here? Clean?

Speed: Sure, if it gets you out of my Trace lab. *shuts door*

Katie: ...Well that was rude.

[Lab]

Calleigh: Hey Tim I've been looking for you. I need you to join me in the janitor's closet.

Speed: ...Huh?

Calleigh: The broom is stuck up top and I can't reach it.

Speed: Get Eric to do it.

Calleigh: Eric doesn't know how to do it. He does it all wrong. You can do it.

Speed: WOW I should have stayed home. *grabs broom* Here you go.

Calleigh: Great, thanks. *grabs door knob* Um....Tim?

Speed: What?

Calleigh: The door locked behind me.

Speed: *frowns* You're kidding me right?

Calleigh: Oh yeah I always imagined myself in the janitor's closet with you.

Speed: Not funny. Just bust it open.

Calleigh: Me? I bruise like a peach.

Speed: Well we all know what Eric would say if we called him.

Calleigh: Yeah we'd be the laughing stock of the lab.

Speed: What? HEY! Why!

Calleigh: Call Horatio.

Speed: Horatio would kill us.

Calleigh: Call Katie.

Speed: Are you kidding me? If she's not already paranoid she will be once she hears where we are.

Calleigh: *sigh* Well I guess we're stuck here.

Speed: God hates me.

Calleigh: Why?

Speed: I didn't really plan on being stuck in the janitor's closet with you.

Calleigh: Yeah and it's getting hot in here.

Speed: *bangs on door* LET ME OUT!

Calleigh: Stop! Stop what are you doing!

Speed: I want to leave.

Calleigh: And who do you think is going to open the door?

Speed: My saviour.

Calleigh: This is not a time to be praying.

Speed: I wasn't praying.

Calleigh: Didn't you go to a catholic school?

Speed: *bangs on door* SOMEONE LET US OUT! *looks down* Um...Calleigh?

Calleigh: What?

Speed: Get your hand off the door knob.

Calleigh: *lets go*

Speed: *opens door* Cute trick.

Calleigh: I didn't know you had to twist it.

Speed: The next time you want to take a trip to the janitor's closet, call the janitor. *leaves*

Calleigh: Ew.

Horatio: *walks up* Hey Speed can you help me with something?

Speed: What is it?

Horatio: I need to rotate the tires on the Hummer.

Speed: ...THAT'S IT. I'm going home. Horatio, you can take your Hummer and stick it. *leaves*

Horatio: What's gotten into him?

Calleigh: I locked him in the janitor's closet.

Horatio: *laughs*

TBC.......
 
Omg that was hilarious. I never thought Calleigh would be the slow one "I didn't know you were supposed to twist it." haha yeah right. lol. Update soon please.
 
:D

Pepsi LIME

[Speed/Katie's house, next day]

Katie: Get up you have work.

Speed: So do you.

Katie: Yeah but you had the job first.

Speed: Can't I just call in sick?

Katie: Now what example would you be setting if you did that?

Speed: The kind that lets me sleep in.

Katie: Get up or I'll throw you off the bed.

Speed: Throw yourself off the bed.

Katie: *pushes Speed*

Speed: *falls* OW!

Katie: Get dressed or I'll smack your butt.

Speed: Shut up.

[Lab, 9 am]

Horatio: Well Calleigh, Eric, I see you're both on time.

Speed: *runs in* I'm on time I swear! I parked the Hummer here before 9 so that means I was here on time! *trips* AH! *falls*

Calleigh: Are you okay?

Speed: I'm super.

Delko: You tripped on your own feet.

Horatio: Alright we still have to find Trevor. Speed, where are we on a location?

Speed: What? No I left early. You had to find it yourself.

Horatio: ...Well it's Sao Paulo.

Delko: Why are you so out of breath?

Speed: I jumped out of the Hummer and tried to beat it here.

Delko: Seriously?

Speed: No.

Calleigh: I guess he had other 'commitments'.

Speed: Yeah well I don't see you gettin' lucky in Kentucky.

Calleigh: *lifts brow*

Delko: This is Miami...Miami.

Horatio: We can debate where we are later. Right now we have to find out where Trevor is and bring him back to Miami.

Delko: But you just said this wasn't the time to debate where we are, yet you just said we're in Miami.

Horatio: That's what the sign says.

Delko: What if the sign is in a different language?

Speed: *frowns* Like....English?

Delko: Yeah.

Speed: What weird ass language do you speak?

Horatio: Guys...Let's try and act our age for once.

TBC........
 
I don't think acting there age is possible. Well...for Eric at least. lol. "Or i'll smack your butt."? I'm sorry but that was hilarious. lol. "Lucky in Kentucky." You crack me up. Great update and Can't wait for more.
 
:lol:

Another Day, Slipping Through

Calleigh: HEY LET GO!

Delko: DON'T BITE ME!

Calleigh: Don't touch the hair!

Horatio: *looks at Speed*

Speed: *looks at Horatio* ...Should we do something?

Horatio: Like what? Give them a timeout and seperate them at nap time?

Speed: Well Calleigh has ear-piercing screams so do something.

Horatio: Okay people! *claps* Let's be quiet! Inside voices!

Speed: ...They're not four.

Horatio: They're acting like it. OKAY GUYS! *clapping*

Speed: They probably think you're applauding them.

Horatio: *clicks lights* COME ON!

Speed: Stop clicking the lights, I'm going to have a seizure!

Horatio: *throws pens* It's like they're bulletproof!

Speed: Those aren't bullets, and you missed.

Horatio: STOP FIGHTING!

Speed: STOP YELLING!

Horatio: STOP..STOPPING!

Speed: NO ONE'S STOPPING!

Horatio: Okay I know how we can fix this. You grab Calleigh and I'll grab Eric. When I say, we pull in the opposite direction.

Speed: Why can't you grab Calleigh and I grab Eric?

Horatio: Because I don't want to hurt a girl.

Speed: So I'm aloud to hurt a girl? I want to hurt Eric.

Horatio: All the more reason you get to take Calleigh. Okay so on the count of three. One...Two..THREE! ABBA!

Speed: Abba?

Horatio: ABBA!

Speed: Isn't that a band?

Horatio: GO! GO! GO!

Speed: *grabs Calleigh*

Horatio: *grabs Delko*

[KABLAM]

Calleigh: *opens eyes* Hey...Where did he go?

Speed: *looks down* Horatio tackled him.

Calleigh: And he let you tackle me?

Speed: I didn't tackle you, I pinned you to the floor.

Calleigh: *smiles*

Speed: Don't you start that again.

Calleigh: Then why aren't you movin' cowboy?

Speed: Are you going to keep fighting with Eric?

Calleigh: Nah, man I like where I am now. *winks*

Speed: Really.

Calleigh: Oh yes.

Speed: *whispers in Calleigh's ear* There's dirt all over the floor, but whatever floats your boat.

Calleigh: OH MY GOD! *gets up* My hair could have gotten contaminated!

Speed: *stands up* Your hair is fine.

Calleigh: *slaps Speed* You didn't have to whisper it.

Speed: I like to rattle your cage.

Calleigh: Well it worked.

Delko: *smirks* If there was any more tension over there they'd be drowning in it.

Horatio: *claps* Okay people, let's get to work.

TBC........
 
"I like to rattle your cage." Yeah, yeah yeah. lol. And Tim wants to hurt Delko...ohhh why did a mud fighting scene just pop into my head? lol. Update soon please.
 
:lol: Because...Of...Mud wrestling. :p

Get It Over With

[Plane]

Speed: I can't believe you put us on a plane to Sao Paulo.

Horatio: It's a Hummercraft so treat it with respect. *turns on radio* Houston we have a problem!

Calleigh: Why are you yelling that?

Horatio: I've always wanted to say that. *puts radio down*

Delko: What about the lab? Who has it?

Horatio: Katie's in charge.

Speed: Are you kidding me? She can't even cook her own food.

Calleigh: Aw you cook? That's so sweet.

Speed: We're not going to find Trevor. He probably teamed up with Bin Laden and now they're in Iraq hiding underground.

Delko: I don't think Bin Laden is still alive.

Speed: We didn't think Trevor was either but here we are, flying to South America.

Calleigh: How do you go from 'We've got the whole story right here, I'm tellin' you that our hit and run is now a murder, *puts on shades, looks down from top of broken bridge*' to 'We're going to Brazil'?

Speed: Yeah that's not even a good one-liner. And what was with that 'When worlds collide' crap? What were you smoking?

Delko: Not to mention 'Murder tends to have that effect on people'...Did you wake up on the wrong side of the Hummer?

Calleigh: I kind of liked 'We never listen' and 'We are looking for a pro'.

Speed: They really never do listen. Like, come on. When a cop points a weapon at you and says 'don't do it', that's not an invitation to show off what your pretty gun can do.

Delko: Oh I liked 'Rescue, get me a rescue right now'.

Speed: Well gee I don't really remember that one too well. I was busy DYING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET.

Horatio: Oh relax, the kevlar caught it.

Speed: Easy for you to say, you didn't take a round in the chest from a guy with a bad tan and terrible shades. He looked like one of the blue's brothers.

TBC.........
 
Ahhh, poking fun at Horatio's one liners. My favorite one was "They never listen." and my least favorite one was "When world's collide." Like....OH COME ON! lol. Great update...and yeah...I so can cook.....well not really but that's besides the point. lol. Update soon please.
 
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