CSI:Miami Road Trip- We've Travelled a Long Way

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I don't wear heels, skirts, dresses, leggings, or makeup. I can barely do my hair in the morning. It takes me 5 minutes. I brush it and then leave the bathroom. And my parents call me high maintenance. Pfft.

Start It All Up

[Next morning, Hummerhome]

Katie: *walks in* Are they still asleep?

Speed: *looks at watch* It's only 9.

Katie: Yeah but usually Horatio's up.

Speed: Well I have sand in my shoes so I'm going to get changed.

Katie: I'm going to get out of this skirt and into some jeans.

Delko: *stands in hall doorway* And where do you think you two are going?

Speed: Our...Room.

Delko: Why?

Speed: To change clothes. Most people do that when they want to get dressed.

Delko: Where were you all night? I've been up worried sick.

Speed: The beach.

Delko: Why?

Speed: I like sand.

Delko: Have you ever tried shoving sand down your pants? It's like a million bugs crawling down your butt crack.

Speed: Good to know. Move.

Delko: Weren't you wearing a suit when you left?

Speed: It was a layered coat, not a suit.

Delko: Well now you're wearing a dress shirt.

Speed: Yeah I had one on underneath.

Delko: You missed a button.

Speed: *squints* Is there a point to this interrogation?

Delko: I was just making observations.

Speed: Well make observations somewhere else.

Delko: I can't. I just happened to be standing here.

Speed: Okay what do you want?

Delko: You didn't even bring me back a doggie bag.

Speed: They don't make doggie bags there.

Delko: You didn't even ask.

Speed: I didn't have to.

Delko: Why were you on the beach?

Speed: Like I said, I like sand.

Delko: *frowns*

Speed: What do you want me to say? We had sex on the beach?

Delko: *blank stare*

Katie: *blank stare*

Speed: Because we...DIDN'T.

Delko: Sure you didn't. *leaves*

Speed: *turns around*

Katie: *frowns*

Speed: What? How else was I supposed to get rid of him?

Katie: You could have said something else Tim. *walks into bedroom*

Speed: *mumbles* Yeah I could have but I didn't. *walks into bedroom*

Katie: *grabs jeans* I had a nice time last night.

Speed: Me too.

Katie: You're not planning on..Dying are you?

Speed: *opens closet* Well all gotta go sometime.

Katie: No I meant soon.

Speed: Why would I be dying soon?

Katie: You said you'd die for me.

Speed: I'd also kill for you too.

Katie: Really...You'd commit murder for me?

Speed: In a heartbeat.

Katie: Oh cool, so if I want someone killed, you'll do my dirty work for me.

Speed: I'm not a hitman I'm your husband.

Katie: *sigh*

Speed: What?

Katie: I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention.

Speed: *buttons up dress shirt* Funny.

Katie: *looks down* Hey Tim? What are these?

Speed: *walks over* Those are...*points* Handcuffs.

Katie: Yeah I know they're handcuffs. Why are they in here?

Speed: I..Can explain THAT.

Katie: Really, I'd love to hear an explanation.

Speed: *grabs handcuffs* I'm a cop.

Katie: Yeah I see that.

Speed: So they belong with the whole...Outfit.

Katie: You don't wear the 'outfit' in here.

Speed: Yes I do.

Katie: No you don't. *grabs handcuffs*

Speed: There is a very logical explanation for those.

Katie: Huh...Like what?

Speed: Well you see the gun lying on the nightstand? The cuffs were beside it.

Katie: *looks down* ...No the cuffs were not on the nightstand.

Speed: Maybe they fell.

Katie: *walks closer* Then why do you sound so guilty?

Speed: *backs up* Because you're interrogating me and you're scary when you play cop.

Katie: *walks closer* Oh really? Did you want to play cop?

Speed: *backs up* Um...Not really.

Katie: *walks closer* Did you want to cuff me?

Speed: *clears throat*...No.

Katie: You don't want to place me under arrest?

Speed: *backs up into wall* ...N-no..

Katie: Are you sure? Officer?

Speed: *blinks*

Katie: If your cheeks get any redder, its going to look like you're about to pass out. *walks out*

Speed: ....*sigh* Wow.

TBC........
 
Hahaha, So i'm scary when I play cop huh? lol. Speed missed a button and Delko's upset because he didn't get a dog bag awww well....I'm in jeans now so I'm happy. lol. Anyways great update and I can't wait for more. Teehee.
 
i love this...please make Katie pregnant again so she and Tim can be happy again. It was so sad when their baby died it would be really nice if they could have a baby and keep it this time.
 
I don't wear heels, skirts, dresses, leggings, or makeup. I can barely do my hair in the morning. It takes me 5 minutes. I brush it and then leave the bathroom.
Click to expand...
Oh my gosh, you have no idea how much this sounds like me. I practically live in my jeans, and my friends keep trying to get me to wear makeup. They never listen. :lol: Actually, my principal made it mandatory for girls to wear a skirt, but I don't care what she says, I'm going to be gone a year anyway so I'm not buying a new uniform. And my pants keep my legs warm in winter while all my friends freeze to death.
[/off topic]

Okay, well, that was an..interesting update :lol: I don't know why, but that reminded me so much of Black and White :D teehee! Speedy in a uniform.
 
:lol: :lol: I love this thing.

You're On Your Own Now Believe Me

[Hummerhome]

Katie: *sits* Wow everyone's up already.

Speed: *sits*

Horatio: I had to pee.

Delko: So THAT'S who was taking so long.

Horatio: I had to brush my hair too.

Delko: Really? Because I went in there and the only thing I found was red hair dye.

Horatio: What are you talking about? I don't dye my hair.

Delko: Yeah you're right. You weren't dying your hair. You were dying the greys.

Horatio: I do NOT have grey hair.

Delko: Well, not anymore.

Horatio: You..You...*turns on engine* I'm going to pretend I didn't hear you.

Carly: I thought that was blood in the sink.

Anni: Yeah I was thinking to myself, who had the accident?

Carly: It was Horatio trying to get rid of the grey hairs. Well, problem solved.

Delko: *looks at Speed* You look pretty...Tamed.

Speed: *blank stare*

Katie: I scared him.

Delko: What did you do? Beat him with his gun?

Katie: Nope. So Tim,...Tim...Speed? HELLO! *pokes Speed*

Speed: *jumps* What? Huh? What?

Katie: ...You know I was kidding in there right?

Speed: *nods* Mhm.

Katie: I was messing with your mind.

Speed: Uh huh.

Delko: What did you do to him?

Katie: Nothing, I was just messing with him. Hey Tim could you pass me that water bottle?

Speed: Yes ma'am. *gives water bottle*

Katie: *grabs bottle* Um...Okay.

Delko: *starts laughing* Wow you can control him. That's quite a talent.

Katie: Maybe he just realizes who's boss. *smiles* Right Tim?

Speed: Yes ma'am.

Delko: Hey Speed, are you feeling okay?

Speed: *frowns* Bite me.

Delko: Ah so it only works for Katie...What are you? A Dominatrix?

Katie: Uh yeah I don't think so.

Speed: Can I go sit over there?

Katie: No.

Speed: ...Yes ma'am.

Katie: *grins* I like this. He does everything I say. It's like 'Simon says' but my name is Katie.

Speed: I don't do everything you say.

Katie: *whispers in Speed's ear* We'll see about that officer.

Speed: Um...*clears throat* Could I speak with you for a second?

Katie: Sure.

[Back room]

Speed: What are you doing to me?

Katie: I don't know, but it's fun.

Speed: It's not fun, it's torture and *lifts hand* DO NOT for God's sake say anything about torture.

Katie: *smiles* I found your weakness.

Speed: No you didn't.

Katie: Yes I did.

Speed: No you didn't.

Katie: Oh yes I did.

Speed: No. You did not. I do not have a weakness.

Katie: Yes you do.

Speed: No I don't.

Katie: Alright whatever you say. We shall soon find out tonight.

Speed: No we won't.

Katie: Oh come on, you can't resist me.

Speed: *laughs*

Katie: What's funny?

Speed: Yes, I can.

Katie: Really. *walks closer* Are you sure?

Speed: *backs up* Yes.

Katie: Are you REALLY sure? *walks closer*

Speed: *backs up* Stop it.

Katie: Make me.

Speed: *blinks*

Katie: HA! I knew it.

Speed: Yeah you've won this round but I'll get you back and when I do, you'll be so sorry you even married me.

Katie: I look forward to it. *leaves*

Speed: Yeah! You're confident now! But see...I...I have stubble! THAT'S RIGHT!....*sigh* Who am I kidding? *walks away*

TBC...........
 
ilovegrissom1 said:
hahaha, Katie, such the sex machine lol
Click to expand...

Well you know I try Jess.

lol Awww Speedy's calling me ma'am.....that makes me feel old. lol. And yeah Delkipoo I wouldn't be a domintrix...and i probably spelled that wrong but I don't care...if my life depended on it. And YAY I found Timmy's weakness. Teehee. I win! lol. Update soon please!
 
:lol: Oh Jess, you crack me up. :lol:

Aww yeah they need another baby. That made them so happy...Until it died....For the second time....In a car accident...SERIOUSLY I need to stop thinking like Ann Donahue. :p We'll see how things go, I'm not sure they're both ready for ANOTHER kid, but we shall see.

You'd think a guy that uses cuffs all day would be used to them now but I guess not. :p ....Did that sound wrong to anyone else? :lol:

Cure

[Hummerhome]

Katie: Roses are red, violets are blue, I married Speed and I can control him too.

Speed: Shut up.

Anni: Hey ever think of a threesome?

Everyone: 0_0

Anni: I was...Just throwing it out there.

Katie: *frowns* You had your time with him when he went crazy so stuff it miss 'I saw him first'.

Anni: But I did.

Katie: Wait..NO YOU DIDN'T. We met in aisle five!

Speed: No we didn't. We met near aisle five.

Katie: I still don't know why you wouldn't find it.

Speed: I'm bad at directions so sue me.

Delko: Do you know how me and Missy met? Walmart.

Missy: Yeah he was looking for mustard.

Katie: HEY BACK OFF! DON'T STEAL MY LOVE STORY!

Speed: It wasn't love.

Katie: ...Really?

Speed: Remember the Hummercraft?

Katie: OH yes. CSI:pensicola. It brings everyone together.

Speed: I am sooo going to get you back for the cuffs thing.

Katie: Oh I don't think you could beat that.

Speed: *squints* Want to make a bet?

Katie: 100 dollars. AMERICAN.

Speed: I only have American money.

Katie: I knew that.

Speed: *whispers into Katie's ear*

Katie: ...OKAY WHO HERE HAS A HUNDRED SMACKERS!

Delko: I have a dollar ninety five. Do you take Visa?

Katie: Oh we are sooo trying that.

Speed: No we're not.

Katie: Yes we are.

Speed: No we're not.

Katie: Why not?

Speed: Because you're just not experienced enough.

Katie: Okay wait..You have to be experienced?

Speed: That depends.

Katie: On what?

Speed: Your tolerance for pain.

Katie: ....

Delko: *lifts brow* Do I even want to know?

Speed: I wouldn't recommend it.

Delko: Gotcha.

TBC..........

*shakes head* ...I need to stop drinking sprite.
 
I'm not even sure I WANT to know what he said to me. And omg Anni....*shakes head* She never suprises me. lol.

Katie: HEY BACK OFF! DON'T STEAL MY LOVE STORY!

Speed: It wasn't love.

Katie: ...Really?

Speed: Remember the Hummercraft?

Katie: OH yes. CSI:pensicola. It brings everyone together.

Teehee,

Delko: You don't think anythings cute. Not even puppies

Teehee. Great update, can't wait for more!!
 
For some reason this reminds me of Friends when Chandler found the handcuffs in the guest room and it turns out it was Phoebe's grandma's. :lol: (At least I think that's who's they were)

Diet Sprite... :lol:

[Hummerhome]

Katie: Seriously, are you sure?

Speed: Oh definetely.

Katie: Really?

Speed: Stop asking. We're not doing that.

Katie: I kind of forgot what it was that we're not doing.

Speed: *shakes head*

Horatio: NO HANKY PANKY!

Delko: You know, that's only a word old people use.

Horatio: I'm 50 years old. Doesn't that make me old?

Delko: Do you want to be considered old?

Horatio: Not really. I'd like to be considered as 'wise beyond my years'.

Delko: And that's why you never get dates.

Horatio: So how's your sister?

Delko: BACK OFF CARROT TOP!

Horatio: Fine, I was just asking.

Delko: Next time you ask, you're losing a finger.

Horatio: Why a finger?

Delko: I can use your prints to frame you for murder.

Katie: *screams*

Everyone: *looks at Katie*

Katie: ...Sorry...Ahem....Tim never ever whisper that in my ear ever again.

Speed: Yes ma'am.

Delko: ANYWAY, back to me. H, if you ever go near my sister, I'll tie you to the hood of your Hummer and then I'l push it off a cliff. OR OH! I can shove you in the trunk of a car and then take you out to the glades and put a gun to your head. How do you like that huh?

Horatio: I'm partial to the hood of the Hummer.

Delko: NO WEDDINGS!

Horatio: Okay I get it.

Delko: And don't even spring it on me while I'm trying to work a case. All I wanted was to report what I found out about the drugs and here you go with 'oh by the way, I'm marrying your sister. Status on the case'.

Horatio: ..That never happened.

Delko: And it's never going to happen is it?

Horatio: I guess.

Delko: And Calleigh don't you DARE buy him champagne!

Calleigh: Alright, I won't geez.

Delko: And don't put Wolfe's name on the card.

Calleigh: ....Um, whatever you say.

Delko: NO WEDDINGS!

Horatio: WE GET IT!

Katie: *giggles*

Everyone: *looks at Katie*

Katie: Um...My neck is a very...Sensitive area.

Speed: *smirks* I know.

Katie: Shut up.

Delko: ...OKAY SO BACK TO ME AGAIN. Horatio don't you even thinking of saying hi to her. And don't mess with her decisions, and don't say I LOVE YOU to anyone ever EVER AGAIN. YOU STAY SINGLE FOREVER. YOU HEAR ME? FOREVER!

Horatio: Forever? That's mean.

Delko: I'm sorry but it was meant to be.

Katie: *screams*

Everyone: *looks at Katie*

Katie: I don't even know why I did that this time.

Speed: Man I wish we were in A...

Katie: *frowns*

Speed: NOT in Africa.

Katie: That's better.

TBC...........
 
Phoebe: Were do you think Mike is right now.

...*sighs* God I love friends...OH and I have that season YAY! lol. And they were Monica's grandma because then she's like "GO NANNA!"

Anyways.....

"NOT in Africa." hahahaha. You crack me up. And Delko going on and on about Marisol and HOratio. That was a laugh in a half....no more Mountain Live Wire for me people. Anyways that was a great update and I loved how Delko kept saying "Back to me" lol. Update soon please!
 
AH yes. GO NANNA. :lol:

You Can Tell Me I'm Wrong

Delko: MARISOL IS OFF LIMITS!

Everyone: WE GET IT!

Delko: Good. Now that you all know...*sigh* I'll sleep better tonight.

Horatio: Doesn't Marisol, Delko, Caine sound wrong?

Delko: YES! VERY VERY WRONG.

Horatio: And it's supposed to be 'Delektorsky'. Heaven forbid they should ever have to make her tomb stone and spell her last name wrong. And it wouldn't kill me to walk halfway across the graveyard to the 'S' section but NOOOO that would take away valuable Marisol grieving time, even though I only knew her for three episo....Ahem...So where are all these cows I'm supposed to be seeing on the side of the road?

Delko: *frowns*

Speed: Why are you visiting the 'S' section?

Horatio: No reason. *mumbles* Stupid Ann Donahue.

Carly: Are you okay?

Horatio: I'M FINE. Oh hey tomorrow let's color coordinate our clothes. I'll wear a red tie, Eric can wear red pants, Calleigh can wear red pigtails and Speed can wear a red dress shirt. Then we can all look like we're robots and I'll shift positions continually and then take off and put on my shades repeatedly. Then I'll say something snappy, and yell 'GET THAT BACK TO THE LAB' and walk away like I need to do something.

Everyone: *blinks*

Horatio: Stop it, it makes a weird sound when everyone blinks at once. It's like flipping the page of a really old book. And if I see ONE MORE plane crash or if I have to go to New York ONE MORE TIME with Madonna playing in the background, I'm going to shoot someone.

Speed: Are you high?

Horatio: High with MADNESS! *flails*

Calleigh: WATCH THE ROAD!

Horatio: I am.

TBC.......
 
Hahaha, I love it when you make fun of the show. Because its so hilarious. And Seriously why couldn't he go over to the 'S' section. WOuld it have killed the man. I mean we all know he's jesus! But hmm....SPEED'S NOT DEAD! So...take that Donahue! lol. Update soon please!
 
:lol: Oh I've only just begun.

Unless You Love Tearing Sh** Down

[Hummerhome]

Horatio: AND WHAT'S WITH MY HAIR! It's blonde! And it looks like my face is sagging! Why am I always wearing black? Why can't I color coordinate too? And why haven't my shades broken by now? There's probably still Clavo germs all over them. That's why I've been such an a-hole to all those gang members. And what is their problem? Everytime they talk, subtitles fly around in the air and keep flipping my Conan O'Brian hair all over the place. And why do I keep wasting bullets on the ground? And why do planes keep flying into buildings? I'm not the frickin saviour of Miami! I'm only ONE MAN! *exhales*

Delko: I really wanted to kick those Bonnie and Clyde people where the sun don't shine. Why were they so cocky? We were there first. They can shove that 'Miami is so dangerous' crap up their butts. You know why Miami is so dangerous? Because people like them keep screwing everything up and making everything so political. I HATE POLITICS! AND WHERE THE HECK DID IAB GO! I'M SORRY BUT I MISS STETLER!

Horatio: Yeah I miss him being so jelous of me and following me around Miami. Oh I knew he was there. Right from the get-go. He was always watching me. ALWAYS. He's like a pimp. He never stops spying.

Speed: Did I miss something?

Delko: AND WOULD IT KILL YOU TO RUN OUT OF THE WAY WHEN BULLETS ARE FLYING?

Speed: ...No it would probably save my life.

Delko: GOOD GOD I NEVER EVEN GOT TO SEE THE BODY! BODY HOGS!

Speed: I don't get it.

Calleigh: That's when I turned into a robot.

Horatio: HE SAVED ME!

Delko: THE STUD LAB SEEMS SO EMPTY!

Calleigh: I WANT HIM BACK!

Speed: Who are we talking about?

Horatio/Delko/Calleigh: *run and hug Speed*

Speed: Who's watching the road?

Anni: *grabs steering wheel* I got it.

TBC........
 
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