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Anni: Okay, so what can we dig up on Stetler?
Missy: Does he have any diseases?
Anni: What, like stupidity?
Missy: No, like actual diseases.
Emy: A RASH!
JC: ...Oh yeah I can see the headlines now. Rick Stetler has a rash. Break out the cuffs guys, he's going down.
Emy: Yay! *claps*
Missy: *types* I'll pull up his record.
Anni: Ah the messers have become the MESSIES!
Missy: *looks over* Stop hanging out with Katie.
Anni: She's very influential.
Missy: Oh lookie here. *clicks mouse*
Emy: Rick H. Stetler...He has a middle name?
Missy: Hmm wonder what it is.
Anni: We have his home address, phone number...mother's phone number. *smiles*
JC: We're going to call him mom?
Anni: We are the investigators.
JC: Is that legal?
Anni: Oh trust me, we're IAB now JC. There is no such thing as legal. We have stepped over that fine line.
JC: I'll get the phone.
Missy: Put it on speaker phone.
Anni: *dials*
Mom: Yes? Who's there?
Anni: I'm a Crime Scene Investigator from Miami-Dade PD. Mrs. Stetler, we have a few questions about your son.
Mom: Which one?
Anni: Uh..the one that works for Miami-Dade PD.
Mom: Ricky?
Anni: That would be the one ma'am.
Mom: Oh Ricky! What has he gotten into this time? Being the head of CSI, must be hard.
Missy: He's..the head of CSI?
Mom: Isn't he? That's what he's been saying for 20 years.
JC: 20 years?
Mom: Yes...is there something wrong?
Anni: *mutes speakerphone* Looks like Rick has been lying to mom for a while now. I wonder if she knows he's IAB. *unmutes speaker* Mrs. Stetler, I have a few questions if you have the time.
Mom: Always.
Anni: What is Rick's middle name?
Mom: What does that have to do with a Crime Scene Investigator?
Anni: It's just...routine.
JC: *whispers* It is?
Anni: *whispers* Shut up.
Mom: Well, if you insist. His middle name is Horatio. Why?
Anni: Um..thank you that will...be all. *hangs up*
[Room bursts into laughter]
Emy: Oh my!
Anni: I guess now we know why he's actually jelous.
Missy: *cant stop laughing* OH MY GOD *laughing*
JC: Oh I think we've found what we're looking for.
Anni: It doesn't get more raw than that my friends. Horatio Stetler. Worlds collide I guess.
JC: If you're really quiet and listen really carefully, you can hear the universe imploding.
Anni: Okay I think I just peed a little. *laughing*
Speed: Hey guys the boss sent me to get you.
Emy: Horatio or Stetler? *snort*
[Room bursts into laughing, except Speedle]
Speed: What? Why is that funny?
Anni: *hyperventialting* Nothing.
Speed: Did you guys break into the evidence locker and steal the drugs? Because IAB isn't aloud to do that.
Anni: Can you keep a secret?
Speed: No why?
Anni: It's a matter of national security.
Speed: Oh do tell.
Anni: Promise not to tell anyone?
Speed: My lips are sealed.
Anni: *whispers into Speed's ear*
Speed: *blank face* ........*breaks out in laughter*
Anni: Aww he's laughing.
Speed: *still laughing* I need to sit for a second.
Emy: You won't tell anyone?
Speed: *wipes tear* Gee I don't know.
Missy: Don't tell anyone. Seriously, if this leaks out we're dead.
Speed: Oh you can count on me.
Anni: Fine, put your hand over your heart.
Speed: *puts hand over heart*
Anni: Okay, say it with me. I pledge alleigance...
Speed: *repeats*
Anni: To the secret of the Miami Dade Crime Lab. To which it stands, one building under Horatio...
[Room bursts into laughter]
Anni: Okay bad example.
Speed: Oh you got me laughing stop it.
Anni: Aww can I hug you?
Speed: Go crazy.
Anni: *hugs Speed* Don't ever change.
Stetler: What is going on? Why do I hear laughter?
Missy: We were um...Speed told us a joke.
Stetler: You were suppose to be bringing them back to the lounge.
Speed: Sorry sir.
Stetler: Sorry means you won't do it again Speedle.
Speed: Sorry...H.
[Room bursts into giggle fits]
Stetler: Are you high?
Speed: On life.
Stetler: Stop fooling around and get out here.
Speed: We'll be right there. Give my best to Horatio.
Emy: STOP YOU'RE KILLING ME! *falls down*
Anni: *giggling into Speed's chest*
Speed: Holy crap! You're still hugging me.
Anni: You smell good I can't help it.
Stetler: NOW.
Speed: We're coming, we're coming.
TBC…………..
[lounge]
Anni: So...Rick, what makes you so jelous of Horatio?
Stetler: I'm not jelous. Who said I was jelous?
Missy: Well working as the head of CSI for 20 years has to make you envious of him.
Stetler: *blank look* I don't know what you're talking about.
JC: You know, Horatio....Horatio....HORATIO.
Stetler: Why do you keep saying Horatio?
JC: No reason.
Anni: You're mommy must love you.
Emy: Yeah you're probably the sweetest thing she's ever seen...or named.
Stetler: Okay what's going on?
JC: We were just catching up on some IAB work, that's all.
Missy: You're momma seems nice.
Stetler: YOU VISITED MY MOM?!
Anni: Nonsense, we wouldn't do that.
Stelter: *exhales*
Anni: We phoned her.
Stetler: *eye twitch* Okay what did she tell you and spill it. NOW.
Anni: You have a beautiful middle name. It almost screames authority.
Stetler: You don't know my middle name.
Missy: You can't hide from us. We're handy with a computer and a speaker phone. Oh by the way, your underwear has been pressed and dried and it's waiting for you in the hamper when you get home.
Stetler: ....
Anni: Rick Horatio Stetler.
Stetler: AHH DON'T SAY THAT EVIL DEMON NAME!
Anni: HORATIO HORATIO HORATIO
Stetler: AHHH *covers ears and runs*
Missy: Yep, ah I knew he wouldn't last a week.
Emy: It's been one day.
Kristin: That was mean. Now I have to go comfort him. *leaves*
JC: God that was fun.
Missy: Did you see him squirm when we mentioned his underwear?
Emy: Improvisation is a tool, it's an art.
Anni: And we are the masters.
[Everyone high-fives]
TBC……………..
Emy: Improvisation is a tool, it's an art.
Anni: And we are the masters.
They do do that to the poor detectives a lot, don’t they? Wouldn’t it be funny if for once Frank figured out something and left Horatio standing alone and confused at a crime scene? :lol: Kind of like how someone other than House gets a House-moment, but that’s a different show, so let’s get back to this.Tripp: I hate it when CSIs do that.
that Ryan and I make up. And make out. (JK, JK, JK, not really)