CSI:Miami - "Road Trip *puts on shades* Number Nine."

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Okay, welcome to the ninth installment of the CSI:Miami Road Trip, God help us all.

Well put. :lol:

And since we have a freaking Double-Decker HummerHome, we have walk in closets for Horatio's Armani suits. :D

Oh and Geni i did some Math. You have about an average of 7 updates per page. So mulitply 7 by 25 pages you get 175. 175 x 8; 8 representing the thread (duh), we get 1400. Add 1 for the above update our final number is one thousand four hundred and one updates. So far. ;) So congrats on such a huge number! Do your fingers hurt yet? :lol:
 
Yay! New thread *dances* I woulda been here sooner, but you know...school *grumbles*

Woah. Katie is...a lot more insane than I remember *hides from Katie* The crazies aren't crazy! See, that actually works now, because I remember once when that phrase was explained, I think it was Katie that said that crazy people don't know they're crazy. But she knows she's crazy. Therefore THE CRAZIES AREN'T CRAZY! *cough* Uhh, Ok, I'm gonna shutup again...

...well, not yet. Ha, just can't start a new thread without mustard. Long live the mustard dream! Oh man, if only I could still get that poster. Wait, I can. here it is :lol:

Woo, new hummerhome! Ah, the very epitomy of a RT :lol:

Oh, and now, I have this little guy for when I need to shake my fist at people:
shakefist.gif
Hee.

anyways, please update soon!
 
:lol: Carly, you are so awesome. :D *huggles the mustard poster*

Lora, that is quite a few chapters. :lol: I've got one up on the Bible and pocket dictionaries. ;)

*puts on the bionic fingers*

As always, thanks for the reviews everyone! (I'm starting to sound like Horatio now...Uh oh, lol. Well, my hair IS red-ish)

***************

Hummerhome, 10am

Horatio: *sings* On the road again, oh we're on the road again.

Calleigh: We're actually sitting at a red light.

Horatio: ...We're still on a road.

Calleigh: Yeah but we're not technically 'on the road'.

Horatio: The wheels are touching the pavement, ergo, road. Ergo, on the road.

Calleigh: You're actually on a chair.

Horatio: A chair that's on the road.

Calleigh: Actually the chair is attached to the floor.

Horatio: A chair on the floor, on the road.

Calleigh: Actually the floor is suspended over the tires.

Horatio: Back to my original statement. On the chair, on the floor, on the tires, ON THE ROAD.

Calleigh: Not if you count the teeny rocks.

Horatio: *narrows eyes* WE'RE ON THE ROAD!

Speed: *eating chinese food* Hey I got a question for you, Calleigh. When a Hummerhome rolls down a hill, falls off a cliff, slams into the ocean, sinks to the bottom and gets crushed, does it make a sound?

Calleigh: Very funny.

Speed: Well you seemed to have all the answers today. I thought I'd ask before you ran out.

Calleigh: *grabs chinese food from Speed*

Speed: *frowns* Um, I was eating that.

Calleigh: Now you aren't. *eats*

Delko: Does this mean we're going to fall off a cliff?

Speed: *staring at Eric*

Delko: What?

Speed: Are you serious?

Delko: I'm just curious.

Speed: Do you see any cliffs?

Delko: I'm watching clifford the big red dog on TV.

Speed: *grabs remote*

Delko: HEY!

Speed: *turns off TV*

Delko: I was learning.

Speed: Yeah okay fine. If I want to find out the difference between periwinkle and pink, I'll be sure to give you a call.

Delko: But I'm right here.

Speed: *shakes head*

Horatio: NO!

Everyone: *looks at Horatio*

Horatio: No bird is going to poop on my Hummerhome. *grabs giant rod*

Carly: Where did you get a giant rod from?

Horatio: *rolls up sleeves* Okay everyone, stand back.

Delko: *runs to back of Hummerhome* OKAY! I'M READY! SMASH THAT SEAGULL LIKE IT'S 1989!

Horatio: *climbs up emergency hatch*

Calleigh: Oh dear.

Horatio: *standing on hood of Hummerhome* DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!

Seagull: *waddling on hood*

Horatio: *swings rod*

Seagull: *poops*

Horatio: MY HUMMERHOME! *swinging rod*

Seagull: *jumping*

Horatio: *smashing Hummerhome hood*

Seagull: *jumps*

Horatio: I'LL TEACH YOU TO DEFLATE YOUR BOWELS ON MY HOOD!

Inside Hummerhome

Speed: ...Did I hear that right?

Calleigh: *sympathetic smile*

Outside on hood of Hummerhome

Horatio: DAMN 20-17 VISION! *throws rod at seagull*

Seagull: *jumps up, bites Horatio*

Horatio: OW! *slips off hood* OW!

Seagull: *pecking at Horatio*

Horatio: NOT THE FACE! AHH! NOT THE HAIR!!! *screams* NOT THE SHADES! *flailing*

Inside Hummerhome

Delko: Should we...Help him?

Speed: The guy can bring down drug lords and defuse bombs but he can't whack a bird with a stick.

Delko: Can you?

Speed: I'd shoot the damn thing.

Jess: *rubs chin* He's definitely losing his edge.

Delko: How can we help him get it back?

Katie: I GOT IT! *snaps* Okay, crowd around I have the perfect idea.

Delko: *rubs hands together* Ooh what's going on in that Katie mind of yours.

Katie: Oh you don't even want to begin to imagine. All right, what we do is...*whispers*

Speed: Why are you whispering?

Katie: Suspending suspense.

Speed: For what?

Katie: My fans.

Speed: What fans?

Katie: ...Okay maybe I'm a littler crazier than I let on.

Twenty minutes later

Horatio: *sitting at cardboard table* What is this about?

Calleigh: *places papers on the table*

Horatio: Hey they're color coordinated.

Katie: *reading papers* The Guide to Becoming Horatio Caine. By Katie.

Horatio: Sounds complicated.

Katie: Oh it is. Rest assured, Horatio Caine and Horatio Caine will meet and there will be a wedding.

Horatio: I don't get it.

Katie: You don't have to. *turns page* Page one. Learning the One-Liners. Repeat after me. *clears throat* We. Never. Close.

Horatio: I KNOW THIS ONE! I KNOW THIS ONE! The Holiday Inn.

Katie: *blinks* ....Okay repeat after me. *clears throat* They never listen.

Horatio: Your in-laws. *laughs* I love this game.

Katie: *rubs forehead* Okay let's try something else. *flips page* Okay, lesson two. Interrogating suspects. Calleigh, sit down across from Horatio.

Calleigh: *sits*

Katie: *hands over script*

Calleigh: *reading script* Wacha gonna do, copper?

Horatio: ...I don't understand.

Calleigh: *reading* I'm a gonna bust a cap in da hood.

Horatio: *squints* Is this that...Netspeak thing youngsters are always jabbering about these days?

Katie: *tilts head* Close.

Calleigh: *reads* Watch out, red. I'm a comin' for your family. I will take everyshing you lurve.

Horatio: DIE! *pulls out gun*

Katie: *grabs gun* WHOA, WHOA. No, we do not threaten the actors with weapons.

Horatio: Sorry.

Katie: Calm down.

Horatio: *nods*

Delko: Can I try? Can I try?

Katie: Sure.

Delko: *rips paper from Calleigh*

Calleigh: HEY.

Delko: *reads* You and my sister are getting ma...*frowns* Katie...

Katie: Mhm?

Delko: How is this supposed to fix him?

Katie: OH! Whoops, that was the 'Ruin Horatio Caine' page. *crumples paper* Haha, my bad.

Delko: *places hands on hips*

Katie: OH OH! THAT'S IT! Horatio, stand and place your hands on your hips.

Horatio: *stands, places hands on hips*

Katie: Okay now in the coolest, most sultry and sexy voice, put on your shades and say -

Horatio: When worlds collide?

Katie: *laughs* Um yeah not in this lifetime. Say something natural.

Horatio: Something...*puts on shades* Natural.

Katie: ...I'm in the wrong business. *shakes head* Forget it. He's ruined.

One hour later

Delko: ...Are we there yet?

Horatio: I'm not exactly sure where 'there' is.

Delko: Oh...When will we know when we're there?

Horatio: When I say so.

Delko: ...When will that be?

Horatio: When we get there.

Delko: Can we cook tacos?

Horatio: No one's using my stove.

Delko: Pfft. Your stove.

Horatio: Who paid for it?

Delko: ...You did.

Horatio: And who's driving this thing?

Delko: *twiddles thumbs* You are.

Horatio: Very good. That means I'm the boss.

Delko: ...So what does that make me?

Speed: An idiot.

Delko: *scratches head*

Jess: Hun, don't worry about it.

Delko: Okay.

Katie: I just had the strangest image of Eric running around in a diaper.

Everyone: *looks at Katie*

Katie: ...I said that outloud, didn't I?

Anni: Yeah.

Katie: I knew it. I was saying it, but I didn't stop.

Speed: That shouldn't be a surprise.

Katie: And what is that supposed to mean?

Speed: Nothing.

Katie: Tell me.

Speed: It was nothing.

Katie: Are you saying I never stop talking?

Speed: Have you paid attention to yourself lately?

Katie: Way to be supportive.

Speed: It's okay. We'll get you a muzzle.

Katie: HEY! *slaps Speed*

Horatio: Guys, please.

Katie: SUCCESS! HORATIO SAID SOMETHING HORATIO-LIKE!

TBC.................
 
omigosh i used to watch Clifford the Big Red Dog!!!
and Speed is talking about Blue's Clues, they alwasy talk about color
and whats wrong with Eric 1989? where did that come from?(well its Eric so i would understand)
why is Horatio trying to kill an innocent bird? it doesnt know any better and you can wash it off!
I will take everyshing you lurve
haha i cant imagine Calleigh saying that but im sure it would be weird
great chapter! :D :cool: :lol: ;) :p :)
 
Oh dear, Speedy shouldn't of turned off Clifford. For all we know, that's Eric's only source of daily knowledge.

"Horatio: DAMN 20-17 VISION!"

*bursts out laughing* :lol: Ok i shouldn't be laughing, but that was just too hilarious... Good one Geni! :lol:

"Speed: The guy can bring down drug lords and defuse bombs but he can't whack a bird with a stick."

AND find the guts to ask Yelina out.

Thanks for the update Geni!! :D (Count: 1402)
 
Awww poor Horatio, Geni what in the name of Anne Donahue are you doing to our poor horatio *cries* my poor poor horatio....
But I have to admit the seagull part takes me back to when the seagull stoll his sunnies of justice and he followed it into the ocean and then got attacked by like an army of seagulls. LOL I fell off the chair at that one.
I wonder where we're going this time... Since we can't go to california anymore ... and ic an't remeber where else....
Can't wait for more geni!!!
 
Ha! that was an awesome update! How hilarious was it that Horatio had started acting like Eric... And Katie's idea to teach him how to be Horatio...and Horatio risking life and limb to scat a seagull away, who happened to put our fearless leader on his back.. I thought I was going to die reading this. I tried really hard not to laugh out loud , seeming as if everyone is sleeping. This is the best, as always, Geni!
 
Yeah she should sell those cards on E-Bay. I want them. :lol: Oy vey Horatio, he should get contacts. Let him show his beautiful eyes everywhere! ;)
 
STUPID SEAGULL! I'LL SAVE YOU HORATIO! *grabs giant stick*

:lol: Geni, you're amazing giving us this many updates. You must live online! (I guess I usually do too :lol:) 1402 and counting. Hopefully this post will go through, my last one didn't, lol. Hummerhome funniness, loving it. :D Thanks!
 
I have done it; I have finally read all eight previous threads in their entirety, so now I understand all references to all the mishaps and misadventures the gang had in the past. Woot! :D

Anyways, ack, Horatio forgot how to be Horatio! :eek: He forgot all of his one-liners! :eek: He must be wearing the wrong sunglasses! It’s all the seagull’s fault; it’s always the seagulls, them and their impeccable ability to do their business on a car every single time they need to go. I can so see there being a handbook on how to be Horatio Caine; it would have a red cover and would have a picture of sunglasses on the cover. “Ruin Horatio Caine”, yes if you wanted to do such a thing, you would have to marry your employee’s cancer-infected, personality-less sister. :rolleyes:

Congratulations on making it to nine threads Geni; I can only imagine that your fingers have grown super muscles and the letters on your keyboard have faded away. Still, keep it up! Road trip is awesome! :D
 
I have done it; I have finally read all eight previous threads in their entirety, so now I understand all references to all the mishaps and misadventures the gang had in the past. Woot!

That makes 2 of us. ;) Did that a while ago, loved it. SUCH great parts in the past that i missed when i wasn't here. Actually if you've read thread 8, somewhere in there i posted an ENTIRE review on the ENTIRE thread #1. It was just too tempting. :lol:

Geni, love the name of the thread; laughed my ass off. :lol:
 
:lol: Interestingly enough, I had to get a new keyboard because all of the letters were missing, lol. Y'all know me so well. ;)

I'm also glad the new thread name is liked. :D I didn't think it would blow over so well. ;)

*************

Miami Lab, 12pm

Trace Lab

Lilly: *looking through microscope*

Ryan: *walks over* Got anything?

Lilly: I thought you were still working the paintball case.

Ryan: I passed it over to the night shift.

Lilly: How commendable.

Ryan: *tilts head* They needed to wake up.

Lilly: Weak.

Ryan: Thanks.

Lilly: *stands stright, crosses arms* The substance is a spice.

Ryan: Spice.

Lilly: Oregeno to be exact. *grabs paper from print, walks over* GCMS also kicked back traces of marijuana.

Ryan: Oregeno and marijuana. To fool the cops?

Lilly: Kids are sneaky. I once went to school with a bunch of guys who mixed weed with grass, orgeno and bleach.

Ryan: Did that throw off the scent dogs?

Lilly: Actually the dogs spotted it faster. You combine all these chemicals together and it's even stronger. Kids think it'll fool the dogs and the cops.

Ryan: So the victim in the highschool had oregeno and weed in his locker.

Lilly: Yeah.

Ryan: Now all we have to do is find out who beat him in the head.

Lilly: Actually I think I have a murder weapon.

Ryan: How?

Lilly: I spoke to Alexx about the head wound and she took some subcutaneous photos. *hands over folder*

Ryan: *looks down* Some kind of pattern.

Lilly: Small stripe, scattered dimples...Basketball.

Ryan: *lifts head* A basketball killed him.

Lilly: No, the murderer killed him. The basketball will help us find him.

Ryan: You thinking it's someone on the team?

Lilly: We can start there but I want you to take a look at something else. *points to microscope*

Ryan: *looks through scope* Okay, what am I looking at?

Lilly: Shaving cream.

Ryan: Where'd you find it?

Lilly: On the victim's locker.

Ryan: The kid didn't look old enough to be shaving.

Lilly: I think it came off of the killer.

Ryan: Maybe he was going for the drugs.

Lilly: Could be motive.

Ryan: *nods* I'm just glad highschool doesn't last forever.

Lilly: Yeah.

Ryan: So uh...You doing all right since Katie clipped you?

Lilly: I'm fine.

Ryan: Good.

Lilly: *looks down at table*

Ryan: Um, about what I told you a couple of months ago...I was just messing around.

Lilly: *opens folder* I understand.

Ryan: I hope you didn't take it too seriously.

Lilly: *smiles* Don't worry about it.

Ryan: Yeah....

Lilly: *reading folder*

Ryan: *sigh* Lilly, I...I wasn't entirely...Truthful.

Lilly: With what?

Ryan: Just now. I wasn't messing around.

Lilly: *looks at Ryan*

Ryan: I meant it.

Lilly: *staring at Ryan*

Ryan: And when you got hurt...I didn't know what to do. I was so worried, scared, angry I just...I care about you.

Lilly: Well the last I recall, 'care' wasn't exactly how you put it.

Ryan: *scratches head* I'm sorry, I didn't mean to just blurt it out.

Lilly: It's not like it wasn't obvious, Ryan.

Ryan: What do you mean?

Lilly: Speed told me.

Ryan: He...What?

Lilly: He said you had...Feelings for me.

Ryan: Um...It's probably nothing.

Lilly: So you always tell people you love them?

Ryan: No.

Lilly: Then I don't get it. Either it's nothing or it's something. Which one is it?

Ryan: Look, ever since...Ever since we were shot at in the crime scene, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I can barely make it through an hour without wanting to see you. When you got shot, I was scared to death. I...Didn't want to lose you.

Lilly: *shakes head* Don't.

Ryan: Don't what?

Lilly: We're just supposed to be friends. Nothing more.

Ryan: What are you talking about?

Lilly: Just stop. I didn't ask for this.

Ryan: I can't help how I feel.

Lilly: Yeah well maybe you should.

Ryan: What the hell is your problem?

Lilly: Look, I don't want to drag you into this. *takes off latex gloves* I'm off the case. *leaves*

Ryan: Lilly! *sigh* ...

TBC.............
 
Ouch what is with the glaciosity from Lilly, poor Ryan is getting his heart broken a little much. But I am curious to find out why Lilly reacted the way she did, a bad relationship maybe???? Or does the prospect of someone loving her scare her???? Geni ... what do you have up those sleeves of yours??? And don't worry I have to get a new keyboard soon cause I am always on MSN too much and mine are wearing off too....
Anyhoo great update and I really can't wait for more.... U have totally got me on the edge of my seat!!!
 
*does hand actions* You love LORI you love LILLY for GOD'S SAKE MAN CHOOSE!!

Death by ketchup, death by basketball. Horatio in Heaven what's next? Death by teacup? :lol:

Oy, this is the first time i'm saying this but can we see Stetler in the next update? I was reminded that Rick had amiddle name earlier. *uncontrollable snickers* Oh yeah i read that. Can i please quote the part? PLEEEAASEE?? It's from so many threads ago, so that'll be a good excuse. Please Geni? Please Sissy? *bats eyelashes* Trust me everyone, for all of you who DO NOT know Rick's middle name in this fic, you HAVE to support me on this. You read the part you will be laughing for the rest of the day, i know i did. :lol: (Cuz' i got the part saved to a Word Doc.) :D

Wow Lilly! You pulled yourself off the case? Ooo...shattered Wolfe's heart. :devil: Good job. *highfives*

Thanks for the update Geni, looking forward to another. :) And congrats on your keyboard, however old it may be. :D
 
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