Break down

“Warr, gosh I’m really sorry,” Catherine said as she looked down not to sure what else to say.
“Oh Cath…did I interrupt something?” He immediately questioned as he finally noticed her flushed face. He then looked into the living room, and noticed that Lindsey was wiping tears from her face.

“I got Lindsey to open up to me about her kidnapping,” Catherine said as she suppressed her emotions. She looked away from Warrick as her chin quivered slightly. He embraced her knowing she needed support, and it felt good to hold her. “Cath, what can I do to help?”

“She doesn’t necessarily feel comfortable talking to me about it. He…uhh, damn he showed her the tape of me,” she said quietly as she looked away before she continued. “The tape you all saw at work I’m assuming. Warr…I don’t remember any of it. Isn’t it possible that it was staged,” she asked as she looked into his eyes. His eyes meshed with hers as he thought about her question.

“Cath…come on. It’s on video,” he said as his hands moved some hair from her face. She was so beautiful when she was vulnerable. It made him want to protect her, hold her, and so much more.

“I know, but what if it was all for show. What if he never really…,” she said as she could not finish the remainder of her thought.

“Raped you?” Warrick finished as his jaw pulsed. “Cath, I honestly don’t know. If that were the case would it really matter? That guy violated you anyway.” His emotions were getting the better of him.

She rolled her eyes as the tears threatened to spill over. “Anything would be better than not knowing or not remembering Warr,” she stressed as her voice went a little higher. “GAWD…this is a mess. My rape kit came back negative. NEGATIVE! That has got to mean something. I got news for Grissom; I’m not going to therapy. He can kiss my…,” Catherine didn’t get a chance to finish as Warrick interrupted her.

He could not help but laugh out loud as he realized what she was about to say in the heat of the moment. “Cath, you have no choice. If you want to come back to work tomorrow you have to have an appointment set up with a therapist.”

“I’m fine Warrick! I don’t need a damn therapist.”

He just smiled as his eyes showed empathy for her which angered her more. She scowled under her breath as she walked back to the living room to see how Lindsey was doing. Catherine sat on the couch next to Lindsey and embraced her. Warrick observed the interaction, and took in a deep breath realizing this is where his heart was. It was never with Tina, and maybe that was why he had taken her affair better than he had expected.
Warrick walked over to them, and asked Lindsey for a hug. She immediately went to him, and hugged him. “Did my mom tell you about…the tape?” She asked as she started to cry again.

“Yes, she did. I’m sorry Linds. Real Sorry,” he managed as he hugged her tighter and rubbed her back. She clung to him glad that he was here because she had always liked Warrick. She did not understand why they never hooked up.

Warrick looked at Catherine who had a smile on her face. A smile threatening tears, but none the less it was one. Catherine decided to leave the room to give them a chance to be alone. She was hoping that Warrick could get her to open up more.

Catherine has her first appointment with her therapist. Another rape victim turns up that was raped in the same motel as the previous victim. Meanwhile, Catherine struggles with Lindsey as her daughter sinks further into depression.
 
~~~~~~~

An hour later Warrick entered the kitchen where Catherine was frantically pacing back and forth. She wondered what they were talking about, and it was eating at her. The moment she saw him enter her pacing stopped as her eyes searched his for answers. “Warrick, did you get her to talk to you?” Catherine questioned immediately.

Warrick looked down not sure if he should tell her their conversation. “Warrick?” She questioned again as she feared his silence. “Cath, I think its best she’s in counseling. She traveling a hard road right now and she will need all the support she can get.” He answered as he looked at the floor.

“What the hell does that mean? What did she tell you Warr?” She asked as her voice raised a notch. The fear pumping through her body as she desperately wanted to help her daughter.

“Cath, I think its best to just leave it at that.”
“We are talking about my daughter, Warr. I can’t just leave it at that.” Her voice rising as the words spilled out of her mouth. She was now good and ready for a fight. She was in his face equipped to say anything to piss him off.

“It means I think she is tormented by the video they showed them of you. She’s scared to death they are going to come after her again. I don’t know how to tell you this, but she got the impression they were not going to give her back when they collected the ransom.”


Chapter 11

Catherine dreaded walking into her doctor’s office, and it was apparent as her feet slowly shuffled to the front entrance. The flowers around the front door were overly brilliant, and she felt the panic rise in her chest. She looked up and took a deep breath to try and calm herself as she entered the building; hoping she would not bump into anyone she knew. She walked up to a bright, bubbly receptionist whose personality wanted to make her run in the opposite direction. She actually turned partially away back towards the entrance as the doctor emerged through the hallway into the main foyer. She must have noticed Catherine’s reluctance because she immediately addressed her. “I’m Doctor Baker, but you can call me Tara. It’s not going to be as bad as you think it will be.”

Catherine turned back around as her mouth opened in shock. Was this lady reading her mind? All she could think about was throttling Grissom. Tara seemed to be around the same age as Catherine with brown straight hair that was pulled back in a pony tail. Her pale skin a slight outcast compared to her dark brown hair that framed delicate light blue eyes. She was a very attractive woman.

“You investigated my sister Tamara’s rape a few years back,” Tara said slowly as she analyzed Catherine. She remembered her as a strong willed woman who somehow managed to convince Tamara to testify to her attack. Looking at her now, she seemed uncomfortable, out of sorts, scared and ready to flee at any moment. Catherine had her strawberry blonde hair pulled back in a low pony tail. Her clothes slightly hung off of her body because she had lost some weight recently from the lack of an appetite.

Catherine’s mind went elsewhere as she tried to remember the case that Tara had brought to her attention. Her head spinning as the doctor said “Well, enough of that! Why don’t you start filling out your paper work in my office?” Tara grabbed the forms, and led Catherine back to her office.

As Catherine entered her domain, she vaguely noticed the light yellow walls with color matching schemes of paintings nailed up on the walls. She nervously took a seat on a beige couch that was located the furthest away from Tara’s desk.

“Just take a few minutes to get acquainted with the room, and I will be back in a moment,” Tara said as she stepped out of the room. Once she left, Catherine sighed and filled out her paper work. She signed her signature to the last page, as the doctor came back in and shut the door.

“I’m done,” Catherine managed to finally say after being mute since she entered the doctor’s office.

“You don’t want to talk about why you are here?”
“No, not really.”
“Why are you here then?”
“Because I’m required to otherwise I can’t officially go back to work.” Catherine answered bluntly. She began to pick the lint off of her pants just hoping the time would pass faster. So far she was able to keep all her emotions at bay.

“Did you get hurt on the job?” Tara questioned hoping to ease the discomfort her client was obviously feeling.
“No.”
“What happened then?”

Complete silence filled the room, and Tara concluded that she jumped too fast too soon. She looked over at Catherine whose arms were folded over each other as her eyes looked at the floor. Her face was a blank not revealing any emotions. Tara realized that Catherine was retreating into her safety zone a technique many patients used to protect themselves from unwanted emotions.

“Were you attacked or raped?”
Catherine eyes flew upwards to meet Tara’s immediately. She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it as she turned her face away. The panic fluttered around her stomach as her armor that protected her was instantly ripped away. She felt exposed, yet she was so confused on the details of what happened to her. “I…I don’t remember.” The words were barely audible merely just a whisper.

“You don’t remember if you were raped?”
“No.” Catherine clipped back shortly.
“Where were you before this all happened?”
“I was at a bar with a co-worker. I was drinking a drink, and I got dizzy. Nick left.” Catherine reiterated as she closed her eyes. She was now back at that place reliving the memories she had of that night. “I…I went outside with a guy to clear my head. I was shoved in a van,” her voice caught on this realization. She shook her head and then opened her eyes not wanting to remember anything else.
“Go on, what else do you remember?” Tara slowly asked as she stared at Catherine.
“I woke up in a sleazy motel—naked,” Catherine firmly said as she looked straight into the doctor’s eyes with defiance.
 
~~~~~~

Grissom took a deep breath as he saw Catherine enter the lab. He was not too eager to tell her about a case that he just sent Sara and Warrick together to go handle. She let a small smile form on her face as she got closer. “I went…you can’t send me home,” she immediately said as she rolled her eyes at him.

“Come into my office, and close the door behind you.”

She looked at him oddly before she turned to shut his door. She turned back around, and pushed some of her bangs away from her eyes. A small gesture she usually did when she was nervous. “Gil, I have done everything you’ve asked me too. I even talked to the therapist; I don’t understand why...,”she frowned as he interrupted her.

“Cath, we are fine. Your job is fine. I didn’t bring you in here for that.” He took in a deep breath before he continued further. “There was another rape early this morning that was similar to yours. I’m afraid we have a serial rapist on the loose, and frankly this isn’t good for you.”

“Gil, I’m fine. I can handle this.”
“Can you? I don’t think so, and that is the reason I’m giving you a month’s leave of absence.”
“What?” She screamed at him as her eyes shot open in anger. “GO TO HELL GRISSOM. You can’t force me to take a leave of absence.” Her neck was splotchy red as the anger heated up to her face.
“Then I will have to suspend you.”

She stared at him dumbfounded. She hoped he was just playing a nasty prank on her because she needed to work. It kept her sane. “Gil, let me do my JOB.”
“I need your gun and badge as of now.”

Her mouth opened as the tears came to her eyes. She was at a loss for words. The last thing she was expecting was to come in today and be suspended. She pushed her hair out of her face with her right hand as her other hand reached down and pulled her gun out of its holder. She slowly set her gun on the edge of his desk as she reached for her badge. She suddenly felt exposed to him and feared that he could see just how vulnerable she felt. She felt degraded like she had just committed a huge felony. She hoped that if she lingered there for just a moment maybe he would change his mind, but he just stared at her. She turned to leave his office, and he said her name as her hand grabbed the knob on the door.

“Cath, I’m sorry but I did what was best.”

She did not give him a chance to apologize as she rushed out of his office nearly in tears. She found herself running in the parking lot gasping for air as her sobbing started. She rounded upon her Denali and started pounded the hood with her hands as her emotions broke through and left her feeling low and incapable of controlling anything in her life.

~~~~~~

Ecklie entered Grissom’s office without a knock. “How did she take the news of her leave of absence?” He simply asked as he looked through the notes of Catherine’s case. He could not help but smirk at him glad that it was Grissom that had to take her heat instead of himself.

“How do you think Conrad?” Grissom’s stare at Ecklie could have burned holes in his face.

“Gil, it’s for her own good. She would not have been able to focus on any case with what is happening on her own. Hopefully, this will all be solved within a month’s time or I’m afraid she will have to remain out longer.”

“Give me that file,” Grissom said as he slowly held open his hand. He knew Ecklie had taken it off his desk earlier, and he be damned if he thought he was going to pass that one off to him.

Ecklie took a small breath and let the file fall on Grissom’s desk next to Catherine’s gun and badge. “It’s a sure shame she can’t remember anything regarding her attack.”
 
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