Break down

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Waiting, Oct 5, 2006.

  1. ninja_sweet

    ninja_sweet Dead on Arrival

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    Ok, you're home from vacation, so get posting again! ;)
     
  2. CathStokes

    CathStokes Head of the Day Shift

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    Great story hun, Update soon!
     
  3. Waiting

    Waiting CSI Level One

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    Sorry it took awhile for an update...not a big one, but hope you like!!!

    Chapter 13


    Sophia walked into the room were Daniel Perez was being held. She looked at him and shot him a small smile as her eyebrows rose. She then took a seat in front of him.

    “Look, I know my rights—you can’t hold me here for no reason a’tall,” he nervously said as he pulled his cigarettes out of his coat pocket. He had developed large sweat rings under his arms, and his hair looked greasier now compared to when he first walked into the police station.

    “Aren’t you just a smart guy! Tell me this Mr. Perez—where does participation in sexual crimes get you?” Sophia asked him as she leaned over into his personal space. Daniel Perez opened his mouth, and then immediately closed it. He began to nervously pick at the skin around his thumb nail.

    “I will give you a hint. Your answer should have been TIME IN PRISON.”

    “No, I haven’t done nothing wrong. I’m a good cit-a-zon. I offer a cheap place for people to stay,” Daniel said as he nervously looked around.

    “I am thoroughly touched,” Sophia mocked as she lightly touched her hand to her heart. “Why don’t you tell me what kind of cut you get to supply a place for women to get raped?”

    “Uhh…I don’t get whatcha askin me?”

    Brass had elected to have Sophia interrogate the country man that failed to get a high school diploma. They assumed that a woman with clout might make him nervous enough to come clean. Quite possibly they were right.

    “Your buddy Jake has come clean. He said that you two had a little operation going,” Sophia said as she folded her arms across her chest. She watched as the little worm wiggled to the accusation. “Does Catherine Willows ring any bells?”

    “Jake—I dun’t…,” he stopped abruptly as he noticed a woman with reddish-blonde hair walk by his window. It seemed to him that she had looked into the room and starred at him. “Why is she here?” He asked a bit more nervous than before. Sophia looked up in time to see Catherine as she walked by.

    “That would be Ms. Willows. She’s a crime scene investigator for Las Vegas Police Department. So Mr. Perez—the number one question here is do you honestly want to let your buddy in the next room get the deal as you go to prison, and become the next best thing since sliced bread to all those hungry prison men? I might add they aren’t gentle.”

    He continued to stare after Catherine as he bit on his nail. He licked his lips in nervousness. No one told him she was a cop. “Was she hurt? I rememb'r her comin in for a room, but with her boyfriend. She was drunk nearly passed out, but she'd paid for a room.” He spit his nail out as he got up and went to the window. He saw Catherine talking to another cop. This was not good for him he concluded. He flashed back to the first night he saw her, obviously drugged not able to walk on her own as the guy dug through her purse and supplied her credit card. He remembered her too clearly because he had a bad feeling about her—-for some reason that night he developed a conscious.

    She was beautiful, yet fragile as her head bounced around on her neck from lack of support when the guy dragged her to her awaited destination. “Hello…Mr. Perez?” Sophia shouted in order to get his attention.

    “What kinda deal I get if I talk?” Daniel asked suddenly as he bit at his thumb again until it bled.
     
  4. MissCriminalMind

    MissCriminalMind Witness

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    Oh gosh, dont make us wait that long, plz!
    A short chapter, but really good.
     
  5. MacsGirlMel

    MacsGirlMel Mac's Personal Assistant

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    I agree, please continue soon :)
     
  6. CSIMarg

    CSIMarg Witness

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    Yes, please continue... I love how Catherine was just staring at him. through the window.. hah hah. That got the better of him. Let's see what he gets now :)
     
  7. Waiting

    Waiting CSI Level One

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    I plan on updating soon. Thanks...I'm glad you are enjoying it!
     
  8. ninja_sweet

    ninja_sweet Dead on Arrival

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    I thought you said soon! It's been 8 days, so get on it! :p
     
  9. Waiting

    Waiting CSI Level One

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    I know its short...but here's an update.

    ~~~~~~~

    Catherine walked down the hall towards Grissom hoping that because of the reaction she just got out of their suspect that he would realize that he needed her back. She obviously caught his attention as he walked towards her. “Catherine, you really should go home.”

    “Gil, come on…,” she looked at him steadily as she placed a hand on her hip. Her bright blue eyes flashing heat in his direction. She despised when someone refused to reason with her.

    “It’s not my call, Catherine. They are Ecklie’s orders,” Grissom responded before he walked past her towards his office. Catherine stared at him in shock at his confession. Ecklie’s orders? Now that made sense. She would be damned if she allowed Ecklie to interfere with her job. Her face set in determination as she headed to his office.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~


    Jake Lexon scoffed at Brass as he walked back into the room. “You can’t hold me here.” He looked at the detective with disregard as his eyebrow shot up in the air. “Where is Ms. Willows the one that was out in the hallway?”

    “Are you trying to play coy here? I should let you know that we have Daniel Perez in the other room.”

    “Pff. Pff,” Jake chuckled bitterly. “You think that is going to intimidate me? You have an uneducated man in another room that runs a shady motel business. Let me guess the next thing your going to tell me is that he’s talking about us having some sort of connection to the rape of Ms. Willows.” Jake laughed Jim Brass off then took in a deep knowing breath. “You cops are all alike; when will you learn that your tactics on intimidation suck?”

    Brass immediately stood as his chair fell backwards making a loud crashing noise. His hand forcibly grabbed at Jake’s shirt as he pulled him up out of his chair and threw up against the wall. “I suggest you cut the crap, and make a deal before the punk in the room next to you takes it,” Brass spit as his nostrils flared.

    Jake pulled out of Brass’s grasp as his arms flew up ready to fight him off again if needed. He stared a moment at Jim then calmly took his seat again. “Oh, I’ll talk alright, but not to you. In fact, the only one I will talk to is her. You want the whole story I suggest you bring in the fierce red head.
     
  10. ninja_sweet

    ninja_sweet Dead on Arrival

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    Ok, 5 days have passed. You should post another update this year! :D
     
  11. MacsGirlMel

    MacsGirlMel Mac's Personal Assistant

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    I agree, post more soon!
     
  12. CSIMarg

    CSIMarg Witness

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    yep yep...more, more!
     
  13. ninja_sweet

    ninja_sweet Dead on Arrival

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    Post this year already! Do I have to come take one of your dogs to get you to post? :p
     
  14. MissCriminalMind

    MissCriminalMind Witness

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    ^lol Waiting what take u so long to write?!!
    We REALLY need more!
     
  15. Waiting

    Waiting CSI Level One

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    I have a friend that wanted me to find this and continue it... I sort of stopped... didn't mean to abandon it...but I am willing to continue... I thought it would be neat to hear what people would like to read next.:bolian:
     

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