Chapter Four.
When Sara turned her head and broke the kiss, tears came to her eyes. She wondered if Grissom had only kissed her to make her feel better. Sara knew that it wasn't true, but the thought still ingered in her mind. A single tear fell down her face. Gil tried to wipe it away, but Sara slapped his hand away.
"Sara, what's wrong?" Gil asked. Sara swallowed hard as she thought of the millions of ways she could answer that question. Suicide attempts, Mother who's a murderer, dead Father, un-sociable, depressed mood, what isn't wrong with me?
"Why not ask what isn't wrong, that would certainly take less time to answer," was Sara's reply.
"Sara, you know that isn't true," replied Gil, trying to make her feel better.
"Yes, it is," Sara snapped back. She looked at him briefly and then looked away. He still doesn't understand.
"Sar, I'm sorry, it's just-"
"Don't call me that," Sara said quickly.
"Don't call you what?" Gil asked.
"Sar."
"Why?" Grissom asked her softly.
"My Dad used to call me it all the time," Sara answered. At those words, rissom went quiet.
---
Half an hour past by of silence. Neither of them had said a word. Sara was wondering what Grissom was thinking, just so she side-tracked herself from her memories or her existent or non-existent future.
Sara realized how quickly she could take away the pain. She realized how quickly the pull of the trigger, the stab of the knife, or the slice of the razor could take away all of her pain that had built up over the years. The sight of her Mother crying beside her Father's dead body came to her mind. Sara shook her head as if she was in a bad dream, trying to blink away the images that formed in her mind.
"Sara, what's wrong?" Gil asked, he noticed that Sara shook her head, he also noticed that tears forming in her eyes. When Sara didn't answer, Gil spoke again, "Sara?"
"What?" Sara snapped. She was now staring straight at Grissom, tears fell down her face. Gil wrapped his arms around her gently.
"You were shaking your head," Gil explained, "I just wanted to know why."
"I... I was just thinking," was her answer.
"About what?" Gil asked. Suicide, Sara thought to herself, What would he say if I answered 'suicide?'
"My Mom and Dad," Sara said, looking away. She stared away from Grissom's eyes. Sara didn't bother go into further detail, she didn't have to say anything else.
Sara looked at the small black book, her diary, that was beside her. What other memories could possibly be in there? Sara knew that there were more bad memories that she had forgotten. She wondered if they were better left forgotten or remembered. At least now she'd have the comfort of Grissom being there rather than being alone. If she was alone, she might try suicide, but she wouldn't try it with Grissom there.
Sara looked back at Gil, he was looking back at her, but he didn't see her, he was lost in his thoughts. Sara picked up the diary and Grissom was snapped out of what he was thinking.
"Sara, you're already in enough pain, I don't think you should open it." Grissom said to her calmly.
"How much more pain can I possibly go through?" Sara muttered.
"Sara-"
"No. I want to open it, Griss." Sara said, cutting him off.
Gil nodded slowly, "okay."
Sara looked at Grissom, and he noticed the tears in her eyes. Sara sniffed and tried to blink away the tears. She stared back down at the diary. Minutes passed. Then Sara decided to open it. She turned the cover and flipped to a page that was near the end of the book.
She read the page out loud, "Today, my brother decided to join in on Mom and Dad's fight. I cracked my door open and watched the three of them yell at each other. My brother was trying to defend Mom, but that got him a slap across the face. My Dad looked at me, and saw that I was watching, and he stormed into my room. He flung the door open and threw me onto the ground, he kicked me in the stomach, then went back into the living room, closing my bedroom door behind him. After that, I heard my Mom screaming, and my brother groaning, I figure he got a beating worse than mine."
Sara closed the diary and put it back down on the coffee table in front of her.
"Sara, why didn't you call the police?" Gil asked softly.
"I was scared of what my Father would do to me then. For nothing I was beaten, what do you think my punishment would have been for calling the police?" Sara asked.
"I don't know," answered Grissom.
"Well, I would be dead, and he would be the one in jail," Sara said quietly.
Thanks for the support, now I just have to write the rest of Chapter Three... I might not update for a while because I have 3 exams tomarrow and one the next day... so I have a lot of studying to do... which I should be doing right now... 
