I would have to say, that so far, this is one of the best fanfics I've ever written. Thanks for the support, now I just have to write the rest of Chapter Three... I might not update for a while because I have 3 exams tomarrow and one the next day... so I have a lot of studying to do... which I should be doing right now...
Chapter Three. Sara stared down at the page she had just read from her diary as tears fell down her face. Grissom hadn't said anything yet. He wasn't sure what to say. He didn't know whether to offer words of comfort or to ask her how old she was when she wrote it or to ask the question burning in the back of his head. Gil took and held Sara's hand tightly, to let her know that he was there for her. Sara wondered why no one suffered like she did. Why didn't anyone else ever have to go through it? She could only live in this pain her parents had caused. None of it was Sara's fault, so why was she the one taking the blame? She had no will-power in what happened to her to cause her depression, yet she still was punished. Even worse, there was no one she could say sorry to, so they could take away the cruel punishment. Still that wasn't the worst of it, no one saw what she went through. No one knew what she went through, she had tried to tell Grissom, but he didn't even know half of her story. She never told Grissom what happened every Thursday night, after her Mom went to work. She never said anything about the duct tape, her room and her Father. Sara never told Grissom why her Mom killed her Father, Gil had always left that alone. "Griss, there's something I should have probably told you a long time ago, when I told you my Mom killed my Dad," Sara said with a sigh. She held back the tears for now. "You can tell me now," Grissom said, trying to comfort Sara. "It's not exactly the easiest thing to bring up," Sara replied with the smallest bit of sarcasm. She took a deep breath, then spoke quietly and softly, "my Father came into my room every Thursday night, after my Mom went to work and... he... he..." Sara trailed off. Grissom's voice was concerned but serious, "Sara, what did he do?" "R-r-raped me." Sara said as tears fell down her cheeks. "Sara, I-" "That's not everything." Sara said, cutting him off. "W-what else?" Gil said, almost too afraid to ask. "I never told you why my Mother killed my Father," Sara started then paused. "One Thursday night, my Mom forgot her cell phone, so she had to come back to the house to get it. She came into my room to say goodbye and saw my Father... on me... I heard my Mom yelling at him, and my Dad went to her bedroom to talk to her... all I remember after that is walking into my parent's room and seeing my Mom crying next to my Father's dead body." Sara brought her knees to her chest and sobbed on them. Gil wasn't sure what to do, so he hugged her, wrapping Sara's knees and body in his embrace. Sara was again wondering what she had done to deserve this, which made her more depressed. There was nothing that she could do to escape, except kill herself. Was Sara Sidle's fate suicide? Who knows? It would certainly explain why everything happened to her. Fate. Most people's fate is good, but not Sara's, not the way her life had turned out so far. Some people were just doomed to die young, or doomed to be killed young. Thinking of everything that had happened in her life already, Sara wondered what the future would bring her miserable life. Sara disproved the statement 'it can't get any worse' a long time ago. "Sara..." Gil asked softly. Sara was pulled out of her thoughts by Grissom's voice. She realized that he was looking at her eyes and no longer hugging her. "Yes?" Sara asked. She stared at Gil with tear-stained eyes, Gil was staring back at her, with a worried look on his face. "What were you thinking about?" Grissom asked. Sara turned away from his face at the question. Sara sighed deeply and answered, "fate." Grissom put his hand on Sara's shoulder and stared into her eyes, "Fate? What about fate?" Gil asked softly. "I was wondering what my fate would be," Sara answered quietly. "What do you think my fate will be?" To answer Sara's question, Gil leaned in and kissed her soft lips.
wouw it's awesome, Griss is great in this chapter.can't wait for the next chapter, please update soon!!!!
Chapter Four. When Sara turned her head and broke the kiss, tears came to her eyes. She wondered if Grissom had only kissed her to make her feel better. Sara knew that it wasn't true, but the thought still ingered in her mind. A single tear fell down her face. Gil tried to wipe it away, but Sara slapped his hand away. "Sara, what's wrong?" Gil asked. Sara swallowed hard as she thought of the millions of ways she could answer that question. Suicide attempts, Mother who's a murderer, dead Father, un-sociable, depressed mood, what isn't wrong with me? "Why not ask what isn't wrong, that would certainly take less time to answer," was Sara's reply. "Sara, you know that isn't true," replied Gil, trying to make her feel better. "Yes, it is," Sara snapped back. She looked at him briefly and then looked away. He still doesn't understand. "Sar, I'm sorry, it's just-" "Don't call me that," Sara said quickly. "Don't call you what?" Gil asked. "Sar." "Why?" Grissom asked her softly. "My Dad used to call me it all the time," Sara answered. At those words, rissom went quiet. --- Half an hour past by of silence. Neither of them had said a word. Sara was wondering what Grissom was thinking, just so she side-tracked herself from her memories or her existent or non-existent future. Sara realized how quickly she could take away the pain. She realized how quickly the pull of the trigger, the stab of the knife, or the slice of the razor could take away all of her pain that had built up over the years. The sight of her Mother crying beside her Father's dead body came to her mind. Sara shook her head as if she was in a bad dream, trying to blink away the images that formed in her mind. "Sara, what's wrong?" Gil asked, he noticed that Sara shook her head, he also noticed that tears forming in her eyes. When Sara didn't answer, Gil spoke again, "Sara?" "What?" Sara snapped. She was now staring straight at Grissom, tears fell down her face. Gil wrapped his arms around her gently. "You were shaking your head," Gil explained, "I just wanted to know why." "I... I was just thinking," was her answer. "About what?" Gil asked. Suicide, Sara thought to herself, What would he say if I answered 'suicide?' "My Mom and Dad," Sara said, looking away. She stared away from Grissom's eyes. Sara didn't bother go into further detail, she didn't have to say anything else. Sara looked at the small black book, her diary, that was beside her. What other memories could possibly be in there? Sara knew that there were more bad memories that she had forgotten. She wondered if they were better left forgotten or remembered. At least now she'd have the comfort of Grissom being there rather than being alone. If she was alone, she might try suicide, but she wouldn't try it with Grissom there. Sara looked back at Gil, he was looking back at her, but he didn't see her, he was lost in his thoughts. Sara picked up the diary and Grissom was snapped out of what he was thinking. "Sara, you're already in enough pain, I don't think you should open it." Grissom said to her calmly. "How much more pain can I possibly go through?" Sara muttered. "Sara-" "No. I want to open it, Griss." Sara said, cutting him off. Gil nodded slowly, "okay." Sara looked at Grissom, and he noticed the tears in her eyes. Sara sniffed and tried to blink away the tears. She stared back down at the diary. Minutes passed. Then Sara decided to open it. She turned the cover and flipped to a page that was near the end of the book. She read the page out loud, "Today, my brother decided to join in on Mom and Dad's fight. I cracked my door open and watched the three of them yell at each other. My brother was trying to defend Mom, but that got him a slap across the face. My Dad looked at me, and saw that I was watching, and he stormed into my room. He flung the door open and threw me onto the ground, he kicked me in the stomach, then went back into the living room, closing my bedroom door behind him. After that, I heard my Mom screaming, and my brother groaning, I figure he got a beating worse than mine." Sara closed the diary and put it back down on the coffee table in front of her. "Sara, why didn't you call the police?" Gil asked softly. "I was scared of what my Father would do to me then. For nothing I was beaten, what do you think my punishment would have been for calling the police?" Sara asked. "I don't know," answered Grissom. "Well, I would be dead, and he would be the one in jail," Sara said quietly.
Sorry about the delay, writers block, I'm going to mention that I wrote this at 12:53 AM... but here it is. --------------------------- Chapter Five. Grissom was holding Sara close to him, with his arms wrapped around her. Sara was crying into his chest, and Gil stayed silent. He wondered why Sara was given this life, she didn't deserve it, she didn't deserve it at all. Gil also wondered if Sara's father really would have killed her, would he go that far? By Sara's words, he would have, very easily too. Gil brushed his fingers through Sara's hair gently. So many times that night, he didn't know what to say, there was nothing he could say to comfort her. Seeing Sara like this tore him apart, the pain was excruciating, but he knew that Sara felt so much worse. Sara leaned back from the hug, but Grissom's arms were still around her. Gil wiped away her tears with one of his hands, and kept the other arm around her. Sara looked up at Grissom and made eye-contact with him. She could tell that he was worried. She put her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. "I don't know what to say," Grissom finally admitted. "It's okay, you don't have to say a word and you still comfort me," Sara said softly. Gil smiled even though Sara couldn't see it. "I forgot that memory," Sara added. "What?" Gil asked. "I forgot my brother stood up for my Mom. I just... completely forgot about it. I've always thought of my brother as 'the guy who left our family the day he turned 16.' He wasn't there when my Dad was killed, he'd already left by then." Sara explained. Gil rocked her back and forth, which made Sara stop crying. Minutes went by, then Gil thought of something and broke the silence. "Sara, I want to know why you never told me any of this before." Grissom said softly. Sara thought about it for a few moments before answering, "I guess I didn't learn to trust you yet, or I was afraid of what you'd think." Gil didn't say anything, he just nodded. Then, Sara slowly drifted to sleep in Grissom's arms. --- Awile later, Sara woke up. She turned her head and stared into Gil's eyes. Gil blinked, and stared back at Sara. Neither of them said a word. The silence was broken by Grissom's cell phone. "Grissom," he answered. A few seconds passed. He sighed, "Okay, I'll be right there." He closed the cellphone slowly and looked at Sara apologetically. "I have to go to the lab." "Do you have to?" Sara asked quietly. She didn't want him to leave. Gil kept her sane, if he left, she was vulnerable again. "It's urgent, they couldn't find someone else to do it," Grissom answered. He kissed her forehead and got up. "I'll try to get back as soon as I can." Then he left her apartment. He left her, alone again. Sara Sidle was all alone. He left me again, so he still doesn't understand.Tears came to Sara's eyes. Why did Gil keep leaving her? Maybe he didn't want to deal with her problems, maybe he had had enough of her whining and complaining. Grissom kept her out of insanity, so why would he leave her. Was Sara Sidle's future living in an insane asylum? It wasn't really her choice, it was more of Grissom's. If Gil came back, he had a chance at saving her from insanity, and death. If he just left her, she could choose from suicide or an assumed identity of being crazy.