MacsLady
CSI Level Two
Dummies' Guide to Macs. Care & Maintenance by CrazyMacFans Ltd
Feeding.
Mac is hardworking and must be fed regularly and well to maintain strength for working and for bedroom/apartment activities. He should be fed with a good healthy diet consisting of a good mix of the food groups. If you want to treat your Mac you can give him canolis, black coffee (2 sugars no cream or milk), pizza, Chicago style hotdogs with all the trimmings, and oatmeal with raisins and maple syrup.
Clothing - Unfortunately Mac must be clothed for work. Ideal clothing articles are - t-shirts (black is very good, white also) or shirts with the sleeves rolled up and the collar open in order to keep Mac cool and prevent spontaneous combustion. For apartment/house, no clothing or very little clothing is strongly advised. T-shirts and jeans are nice for this environment, but wife-beaters are also an excellent choice. Even with such light clothing, Mac may start to spontaneously combust, this has happened in the past, and if this happens Mac must be IMMEADIATELY drenched in water by way of sprinklers, a hosepipe or a shower, and then stripped of his wet clothes and appropriatly, um, re-heated. :devil:
Turning your Mac on - we cannot guide you in this area, as how you choose to turn your Mac on is a matter of personal choice. However, we have provided you with a 'Mac Kit' containing fluffy handcuffs, ties, and vouchers for body oil, strawberries and cream. :devil:
Please note: If you as a Mac - Carer die or are injured as a result of spontaneous combustion/drowning in drool or any sustain anu other injuries related to the Extreme Hotness of Mac, we here at CrazyMacFans Ltd deny all responsibility. It's Mac's fault, not ours.
Yes I'm nuts I know!
If anyone doesn't mind/likes spoilers, there's an interesting one about Mac on the spoilers discussion thread.
Feeding.
Mac is hardworking and must be fed regularly and well to maintain strength for working and for bedroom/apartment activities. He should be fed with a good healthy diet consisting of a good mix of the food groups. If you want to treat your Mac you can give him canolis, black coffee (2 sugars no cream or milk), pizza, Chicago style hotdogs with all the trimmings, and oatmeal with raisins and maple syrup.
Clothing - Unfortunately Mac must be clothed for work. Ideal clothing articles are - t-shirts (black is very good, white also) or shirts with the sleeves rolled up and the collar open in order to keep Mac cool and prevent spontaneous combustion. For apartment/house, no clothing or very little clothing is strongly advised. T-shirts and jeans are nice for this environment, but wife-beaters are also an excellent choice. Even with such light clothing, Mac may start to spontaneously combust, this has happened in the past, and if this happens Mac must be IMMEADIATELY drenched in water by way of sprinklers, a hosepipe or a shower, and then stripped of his wet clothes and appropriatly, um, re-heated. :devil:
Turning your Mac on - we cannot guide you in this area, as how you choose to turn your Mac on is a matter of personal choice. However, we have provided you with a 'Mac Kit' containing fluffy handcuffs, ties, and vouchers for body oil, strawberries and cream. :devil:
Please note: If you as a Mac - Carer die or are injured as a result of spontaneous combustion/drowning in drool or any sustain anu other injuries related to the Extreme Hotness of Mac, we here at CrazyMacFans Ltd deny all responsibility. It's Mac's fault, not ours.
Yes I'm nuts I know!
If anyone doesn't mind/likes spoilers, there's an interesting one about Mac on the spoilers discussion thread.
But who does this woman think she is? The position of Mac's love interest belongs to US on a rotating schedule. :devil: She's gonna have to learn to share.
