~Quotes You WON'T Hear #2~

lol!

horatio: *puts on sunnies* and why do you think my siunnies are bad miss duquesne?
Calleigh: becuase you wear them all the time
Horatio: no i dont
Calleigh: um you do
Horatio i dont when your sleeping with me!
Eric: omh cal! you slut your seeing horatio as well as me
Ryan: what! you cheated on me with eric and H?
Nat: you were cheating on me with cal?
Yelina: ok *walks away slowly

*massive b fight between h, cal, nat, eric and ryan*

*the gang is in a club*

Calleigh: Please tell me that's not what it looks like
Ryan: I'm gonna be sick...
Eric: I just lost my appetite
Horatio: So that's what...Stetler..does in...his spare time...
Eric: Put it on!
Stetler: Hey! You'll pay for that!

Calleigh walks into the lounge all messy and tired.

Speedliterally) Did the cat drag ya in?
Calleigh: Shut it!
Eric: Whoa! What happened?
Calleigh: Don't ask
She nearly falls over trying to sit down in a chair.
Eric: Need a boost?
Calleigh: What you got?
Speed: 3 days old poptarts, so cold coffee and Coco Puffs
Calleigh: Great.....I'll take the Coco Puffs
Suddenly she's bouncing off the walls after one bowl of cereal!
Calleigh: I'm COCO FOR COCO PUFFS!
Eric: Oh God!
Speed: Never feed Calleigh sugar trust me!

thats what happens when you give me coco paps :L

but anyway!

*banging noise in the autopsy theatre*
(alexx walks ove rho the coolers

*five doors open and horatio, calleigh, ryan, eric and yelina all jump out

together: surprise!!

Eric walks into the lab wearing a long black coat and black boots.

Ryan: Halloween's over buddy!
Eric gives him a lookand wips out a gun
Eric: Say hello to my little friend!
Calleigh walks over frightened.
Calleigh: Calm down Eric it was only a joke!
Eric: No really say hello to my little friend!
He drops the gun and opens his coat and a little man walks out!

HAHA!!! that's a funny one!!!


H:*arms spead wide* I"M THE KING OF MIAMI!!!!!!!!
Ryan:someone has been watching Titanic too much.
Calleigh:you can say that again!!


*Eric and Ryan are reviewing some video for evidence*
Ryan:wow!! where'd they learn to do that!!!
Eric:i know that's incredible how do they bend like that!!
*Calleigh walks in*
Calleigh:you guys are sick!!
Ryan:what! they're only doing yoga.

Eric,Calleigh,Ryan,and H are all playing twister in the lounge.
H: Alright Left Hand On Yellow
Eric: Oh Hell No! I don't bend that way!
Ryan: Lucky for me I gotta better view of things!
(Ryans underneath Calleigh) he gives Eric a guy look!
Ericlaughs) you little pervert!
Calleighconfused) What's so funny?
H: Oh nothing!
Eric: See for yourself!
(Calleigh looks down and sees Ryan drooling)
Calleigh: OH MY GOD! You nasty PERVERT!
(b slaps him!)

The Lab

Cal: "Eric", what have you got there"?

Eric: "Smarties Cal".

Cal: "Well, what are you doing with the brown ones"?

Eric: "I'm making "H" some edible sunnies

Cal: "But why would you do that"?

Eric: To make him look smarter". "Duh" :lol:

that's a knee slapper!

eric and horatio are oin the lab

Horatio: what have you got for me there eric?

Eric: just processing the evidence then i can tell you (pause) so what were yoiu doing last night?

Horatio: Calleigh

Just a reminder from the rules of this thread:

This is not the Shipper Forum. Please don't post overly shipper type 'quotes' in here.

Click to expand...

Thanks.

Eric and Calleigh walk into the lounge after seeing the move Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End.

Calleighsitting down) Ahhhhh....great movie!
Eric: I know!
(Ryan walks in.)= He brings in peanuts!)
Calleigh: Oooh! oooh! (grabs peanut!) My peanut!
Eric: ( trys to grab one but none are left! Finds something else.) My cracker!
Ryan: What the Hell? I don't wanna know!

~Quotes You WON'T Hear #2~
or
7 Sets of Things You'll Never Horatio and His Team Say.

Set #1
Ryan: Hey, H. Where are your shades???
Horatio: I left them at home.
*loud gasp from the team*
Eric: Don't you need to go home and get them???
Horatio: Nah. I'll muttle through without them.
*even louder gasp from the team*

Set #2
*team LOUDLY chatting and laughing among themselves*
Horatio: SHUT UP, PEOPLE!!!
*team goes silent*
Horatio: Thank you. I have an announcement I wanna make.
Here it is. I'm gay and I'm in love with NY CSI Mac Taylor.
*loud gasp from team followed by sounds of them hitting the floor as they faint*

Set #3
Alexx: Horatio, sugar. Would you hand me that big scalpel???
Horatio: Sure. Alexx, honey.
Alexx: Don't you get fresh with me mister.
Horatio: Or what??? You'll spank me???
*Horatio bends over*
Horatio: Go ahead. Spank me. I love a good spanking.
*Alexx stares at Horatio with her mouth hanging wide open*

Set #4
Horatio: OK Team. Go out there and win.
Calleigh: Horatio. This is a crime scene.
Horatio: No it's not. It's war between us and the night shift. Now, GET OUT THERE AND FIGHT!!!
Calleigh(in a shy, cowardly manner): Yes sir.
*Calleigh walks over to rest of the team*
Calleigh(to Ryan): He's crazy.
Ryan: Round the bend.
Eric: Fell off his rocker.
Alexx: Got hit upside the head.
Stetler: No. He just needs a good old fashion kick in the butt.
Speedle's ghost: What he needs is his shades he left at home.
*Stetler faints. Everyone else runs off in different directions...screaming*

Set #5
Horatio: Stetler. You hunk of IA officer. Where are you??? I find you so sexy I wanna madly, passionately make out with you.
Stetler(to Ryan while hiding from Horatio): Get out of here. You want him to find me???
Ryan: Yeah. I do.
Ryan(to Horatio): Hey H!!! Stetler's over here!!!

Set #6
*Horatio bumps into someone*
Horatio: Sorry about that. Hey!!! Aren't you Erik Estrada from CHiPs???
Erik: That's right. I am.
Horatio: Can I have your autograph???
Erik: Sure. Where should I sign???
*Horatio drops his pants*
Horatio(looking at Erik and pointing down): Right here.

Set #7
*Horatio is doing something in front of where he parked his Hummer*
Stetler(approaching Horatio from behind): Horatio. What are you doing???
Horatio(pointing to a sign): How do you like it???
*the sign reads "Reserved For LT. HORATIO CAINE"*
Stetler: That's an unauthorized sign.
Horatio: It is authorized.
Stetler: By who???
Horatio: Me.
Stetler: You don't count.
Horatio: Yes I do. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10...98 99 100 101 102 103...315 316 317 318. Told you I count.
*Stetler is asleep, snoring, on the hood of the hummer*

HAHAH!!!!!! these are great!!!!!


Ryan:uh Calleigh?
Calleigh:yeah Ryan?
Ryan:what the hell is H doing?
Calleigh:uh lets ask him.
Ryan:Hey H!!
H:yes Ryan? Calleigh?
Calleigh:what are you doing?!?
H:what does it look like? i'm painting Stetler's car hot pink :devil:
Ryan and Calleighhh we want to help!! :devil:
Ryanh but wait. he might like it too much :lol:
H and Calleigh: :lol:

I call this set of quotes:
HOW MANY PEOPLE DOES IT TAKE FOR HORATIO TO FIND OUT WHAT TIME IT IS.
This is short as I can make it and include everyone.

Horatio(to Ryan): What time is it, Mr. Wolfe???
Ryan: I don't know. I don't have my watch. Eric, what time is it???
Eric: What do I look like??? A clock??? I don't have my watch either. Calleigh!!! What time is it???
Calleigh(looks at watch): My watch has stopped. It's been exactly 11:15 a.m. for 3 or 4 maybe 5 hours by my watch. Hey Natalia. Do you know what time it is???
Natalia: Beats me. I had to send my watch back to the factory. They haven't sent me a replacement yet. Hey Frank. Do you know what time it is???
*Frank is mad at everyone except Horatio. Horatio is the only one who remembered Frank's birthday*
Frank: NO!!! *swiftly walks off*
Natalia(quietly about Frank): Snob.
Natalia(loud enough for Stetler to hear): Sgt. Stetler. Have you got the current time???
Stetler: Nope. I left my watch at home. Hey. Valera. Do you know what time it is???
Valera: No. Someone stole my watch and there's no clocks in the DNA lab. Hey Cooper!!! What time is it???
Cooper: Don't know. I was gonna ask you. Wait a sec. I think I might know who to ask.
*Cooper enters the morgue...timidly*
Cooper: Alexx...uh Dr. Woods, I mean. Do you have the correct time???
Alexx: Sure do, sugar. It's 3:18 p.m.
*Alexx points to the clock over the doors Cooper came in through*
Cooper: Thanks, Dr. Woods.
*Cooper runs through the halls of the lab yelling...*
Cooper: According to Dr. Wood's clock it's 3:18 p.m.
Horatio: Never mind, Mr. Cooper. I no longer care what time it is.