I'm still fulminating wrathfully about the promos circulating for 507, the ones in which it looks like Flack is about to help Angell with her nasty tonsilitis by scraping them out with his tongue if he can just get close enough. I realize that this scene may not be what it appears, or that it might be edited from the final cut, but it still curdles my cheese for various reasons, which I will enumerate here because I can.
Let's just get the self-serving bone of contention out of the way now, reach back and pluck it from my underpants and toss it aside, where interested passersby can inspect it at their leisure.
I don't like Flack/Angell because its existence would seriously harsh my fannish buzz. My LJ is full of Flack/OC angst, drama, and pornicatings, and if he's paired up with Angell, it will become exceedingly difficult, if not impossible to enjoy that creative outlet. I could stick my fingers in my ears and scream, "LALALA, CAN'T HEAR YOU!!", but the fact is that I like to believe that what I write could conceivably by happening offscreen. I also like to incorporate the season's events into Flack's personal story.
It's going to be awfully hard to write stories where he has a wife at home if he's going to be playing oral gynecologist with Angell every few weeks. I avoided the Devon Maxsford problem by writing it as an undercover job he was reluctant to accept, but I'll be damned if I'm going to write him as a philandering tool.
My personal stake aside, a Flack/Angell pairing would simply be too incestuous. What I mean by that is that the lives of the characters would grow so enmeshed and entangled that the lab would morph into some deranged biodome where no outsiders were permitted. Each character draws and bases their entire identity, not just their professional one, on each other.
Danny is bonking Lindsay.
Flack might be bonking Angell
They're all forming neat little peptide chains of schmoop and leaving no room for life beyond the lab. It's almost as if they cannot exist beyond the narrow confines of the lab, that if they stray beyond those confines, they'll simply dissolve.
They need aspects of their lives that are separate from the lab and the job. Stella needs to tap her some hot firefighter ass, but offscreen, please. Flack needs to be used as something more than a well-hung Ken doll paired up with the smoking young detective who makes his man parts tingle. Angell needs to be developed beyond her effect on Don's dong. And for God's sake, Hawkes needs to be developed, period. Preferably without the aid of shapely boobies.
Flack and Angell ooze chemistry. Even my ant-shipper, OC-writing heart can't deny that they sizzle. Their potential relationship would certainly be more organic than the rancid little turd torte of D/L, which is such a misbegotten clot of WTF and wishful thinking that Dr. Frankenstein would disavow it before he even threw the switch. If TPTB wanted to explore it a season or two down the road(after they'd developed the characters more fully as people and not illustrative paper doll cutouts from the Yuppie TV Writers' PG-Rated Kama Sutra, I'd understand it. I wouldn't like it any more than I do now, but at least its presence would be a natural progression of the writing and not a cheap bid to draw in the teenies and tweenies who think Danny looks like the ass end of a woodchuck.
If Flack and Angell end up swapping spit in 507, I will not say, "Awww," and reach for my hankies and butterfly vibe. I will sound like an angry German plucking his butt hair with rusty tweezers, and my middle finger will appear so suddenly that I'll be in danger of putting out my eye.
Having said all of that, the suit Flack is sporting in those pics is sexy as hell; it looks almost like a silk tux. The collar of his shirt is open like he'd just taken off a bowtie. Rowr.
Also, they way he's holding her hair strikes me as a slice of dominant alpha male. Guh. Excuse me while I blow dry my panties.
