Here are some of my favorite lines from the shows
CSI: Vegas:
Catherine: Okay... Well, I have heard of some guys getting off in some weird ways... but humping an animal suit? Whatever happened to normal sex?
Grissom: What is normal sex?
Catherine: Uh... you think it's normal for a grown human to only be intimate with a talking animal?
Grissom: Well, Freud said that the only unusual sexual behavior was not to have any at all. After that, it was only a matter of opportunity and preference. Some people obviously prefer the feel of fur to the texture of human skin.
Catherine: Well, I like a hairy chest, but that doesn't mean I'm going to go bop a six-foot weasel. (Fur and Loathing)
Sara: Everything in our experience tells us they're dead.. all four of them.
Nick: Doesn't mean we just give up.
Sara: No one's giving up. It's just that... you're acting like you're gonna rescue a person, not recover a body. And on this job that's not usually the case.
Nick: I was rescued.
Sara: It was not your day to die. When it's your day, it's your day. You know?
Nick: I don't think it was Cassie's day. (Gum Drops)
Doc Robbins (looking at the dead deer with a tutu on): Doe. A deer. A female deer...
David: It's not funny.
Doc Robbins: It's a little funny. (starts taking pictures)
David: Doc, I already took photos.
Doc Robbins: Not for my scrap book, 'ya didn't.
David: This is animal abuse.
Doc Robbins: The killing? Sure. The dress? Pet owners put sweaters on their dog's. (The Theory of Everything)
CSI: Miami:
Speed: Oh, you got a permit.
Ted: Yeah, that's right, from Parks and Rec.
Speed: Well, I'm going to let you tell that to the family of the girl that got murdered here last night.
Ted: Whoa, hold on.
Speed: I'm going to let you tell them that we can't process this crime scene because you have a permit for a party.
Ted: You misunderstood me.
Speed: Then I'm going to arrest your cheap tequila-pushing ass and have you spend a night in lock-up with all the drunk and disorderlies and you can smell the vomit of the fraternity boys.
Ted: You know what? Maybe I, I should wait until you're finished.
Speed: That's a capital idea, Ted. (Spring Break)
CSI: NY
Flack: You messed up my favourite suit.
Sammy Chen: So I'll give you the 49 bucks to go buy another one.
(Mac laughs). (She's Not There)
Flack and Lindsay walk down the street; Flack is pushing a life sized silicone doll on a package cart)
Lindsay: Wow. Okay. How weird was that? There's no way that one of these could replace a real woman!
Flack: Oh I don't know, Linds. They're not bad looking. Think of all the money a guy could save on dinner.
Lindsay: (pauses) A doll?!? I mean I could understand if you dumped me for a real woman but a piece of plastic? What does she have that I don't have? Huh?
Flack: (to onlookers from outdoor cafe) Forgive my wife. She's not well. (To Lindsay) I'm gonna get you for that Monroe. Big time. (Sex, Lies and Silicone)
Flack: Can you give a description of the bird?
Stella: Yes, Flack. It was black, had a beak… oh and if flew with a limp.
Flack: I'm just trying to do my job (Smiles)
Stella: I mean, what are the odds? I was standing there and the eye went plop.
Flack: I am gonna get a cup of coffee. You want? (Smiles)
Stella: No, thank you. (Smiles) (No Good Deed)
