Your Favorite CSI Line From any 3 Shows

Discussion in 'General CSI Discussion' started by Speedle03, Jun 6, 2008.

  1. Billy

    Billy Hit and Run

    Oct 6, 2006
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    Greg: I am the man.
    Warrick: Why? What did you do? Let me guess. You ran a DNA profile on the blood from the dead guy's knuckles and you got a match.
    Greg: No.
    Warrick: You ran a DNA profile and something very distinctive popped up?
    Greg: Not quite.
    Warrick: You made it out of bed and you dressed yourself?

    From Sounds Of Silence, Warricks last line is great! :D
  2. saramarie2008

    saramarie2008 Dead on Arrival

    Sep 7, 2008
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    Greg Sanders: I'm like a sponge: I just absorb information.
    Gil Grissom: I thought that was my line.
    Greg Sanders: I know - I absorbed it.

    lol, I thought this was funny. :)
  3. Speedle03

    Speedle03 Dead on Arrival

    Jun 5, 2008
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    CSI:Miami: Horatio: *puts on his shades at a cemetary where there is a dead guy H's hairs al messed up and he put his shade on in a wierd manner* Here we go.

    CSI: Grissom: As CSI Investigators we meet people on the worst day of their lives. Loved ones,taken from them a hole in their heart that can never be replaced. The phrase we're trained to offer them "I'm sorry for your loss" as i know now doesnt offer much. Season 9 Ep. 1 For Warrick
  4. Axelsonfire

    Axelsonfire Pathologist

    Oct 16, 2008
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    My favourite line (well scene) is from CSI LV:

    [Beeper goes off; Catherine calls in]
    Jerrod Cooper: Hello?
    Catherine Willows: Oh, hey.
    Jerrod Cooper: Who's this? I just dialed my own damn beeper.
    Catherine Willows: Uh uh. It's my beeper now. I found it.
    Jerrod Cooper: It ain't your beeper girl. That's my beeper. I do a lot of business on that beeper.
    Catherine Willows: What kinda business?
    Jerrod Cooper: Oh, you know. Slangin' a little somethin' somethin'.
    Catherine Willows: A little somethin' somethin'. Maybe a little bling-bling?
    Jerrod Cooper: What do you know about a little bling-bling?
    Catherine Willows: Invite me over to your crib, baby and you might find out.
    Jerrod Cooper: Three Aces Motel. Room 202.
    Catherine Willows: Three Aces Motel, room 202. [Sighs] See you then.
    [she hangs up, and looks at Sara who was listening]
    Catherine Willows: Did I just do that?
    Sara Sidle: So what's a "bling bling"?
    Catherine Willows: Got me.

    That is the funniest Catherine scene.
  5. GregNickRyanFan

    GregNickRyanFan Holographic Moderator Moderator

    May 16, 2008
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    Yep, that scene was priceless. I almost wish the guys had witnessed it. I would have loved to have seen their expressions. Grissom's would probably have been a curious look. Greg, Nicky and Rick would have been cracking up.
  6. future_cop

    future_cop Lab Technician

    Dec 4, 2007
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    Here's a few Of mine

    Calleigh: Hi guys. Bye guys.
    Eric: Hey Calleigh, I heard you busted the stereo man.
    Calleigh: Hey I heard you found out who the car crash victim really is.
    Yep he was a bad guy.
    Calleigh: You know may be not all bad.
    Speed: I think the mob would disagree about 1.5 million times.
    Calleigh: But you know what I was thinking, if he hadn’t stolen from the mob then he wouldn’t have become a beach bum in Florida, then he wouldn’t have gotten picked up by the hurricane and if he hadn’t have gotten picked up by the hurricane then he would never hit Burton's car if it wasn’t for hitting Burton’s car Burton would have gotten away with murder.
    Eric: Leave it to you Calleigh to find something good to come out of a hurricane.
    Calleigh: They do alleviate global worming.
    Speed: She’s ah, way to cheerful.
    (hurricane Anthony)

    Calleigh Duquesne: That smells good.
    Eric Delko: What, cafe Cubano? Put some hair on your chest.
    Calleigh Duquesne: Don't you just say the sweetest things.

    Stella-[examining a body] - There's something gooey here.

    Mac Taylor - Gooey? There's a good forensic word. Gooey. I have to use that more.


    Mac Taylor-
    This is a little bit more than a bag-and-tag. I'm gonna call Hawkes
    Stella Bonasera "Tell him to bring a spatula"
  7. MakeTracksCowboy

    MakeTracksCowboy CSI Level One

    Nov 26, 2007
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    my all time fave CSI line is from Grissom, it's the one i have in my signature- "Did you ever smell a fart and end up blaming the wrong guy?" haha. i still laugh when i see that ep and hear that line, it was so unexpected of Grissom to say something like that.
  8. Smiliee

    Smiliee Coroner

    Jul 13, 2005
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    Best. Line. Ever. I serioulsy don't think I had ever laughed that hard at any of the CSI shows in my life. He said exactly what I was thinking...

    I also like this from Snow Day ....

    Danny: There's no way you're gonna make this shot too, Montana.
    Lindsay: A Benjamin says I do. *Makes the shot* You owe me a hundred dollars.
    Danny: You know what? You're gonna have to wait 'til payday.
    Lindsay: No.

    I don't know why, but I love that.

    And from CSI: Miami

    Calleigh: I feel like a hummingbird on six cups of coffee (or something like that...I can't remember exactly.)
  9. future_cop

    future_cop Lab Technician

    Dec 4, 2007
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    I'm kinda liking a new one of Mac's from Sex,Lies and Silicon

    Mac: "I'd like to slap the pencil pushing bureaucrat who came up with that..."
    Something like that :lol:
  10. 11krage

    11krage Dead on Arrival

    Oct 27, 2008
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    One of my favourites is:

    Nicks walking off down the railway tracks to look for their vic's missing head.

    GRISS: Hey, Nick. Our victim may be bald. (holding up a topay)

    Nick turns around, perfectly calm.

    NICK: Thanks, that'll help me distinguish it from the other severed heads I find.

    Dunno, but i always :guffaw: whenever i see that scene, their expressions are so funny.
  11. Carolyn_333

    Carolyn_333 Pathologist

    Nov 27, 2004
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    Re: Your Favorite CSI Line From any 3 Shows.

    Oh, I am so gonna be all over this thread. I've got favorites from both CSI shows I watch-CSI: NY and CSI: Miami.

    First up CSI: NY.
    CSI: NY season 3 episode "The Ride-In".
    Stella walks in to a room full of lab techs lighting up and smoking cigarettes. Sheldon Hawkes looks to be the only one not smoking.
    Stella: Hawkes, what are we playing, who gets cancer first?:guffaw:
    Hawkes explains what's going on in the room.
    Stella: (coughs) Good, good. Let's make sure everybody gets hazard pay.:guffaw:
    Stella leaves. As she passes Mac's office, he calls her name and she enters his office. She asks what's up.
    Mac: Besides the smoke detectors going off every 5 minutes?:guffaw:

    Now CSI: Miami.
    CSI: Miami season 2 episode "MIA/NYC non-stop" (or as I affectionately call it "The CSI: NY pilot episode").
    Horatio, Mac, a homicide detective I haven't seen since this episode and a couple of uniformed officers are outside Davey Penrod's apartment. The homicide detective knocks and says "Police! Open up!" They hear some rustling around inside. The homicide detective kicks the door open. They all do a quick look around. Horatio spots Penrod going up the fire escape to the roof.
    Horatio: He's running, Mac! He's running! :cool:

    Luf100's signature banner made think of a line from another episode of CSI: Miami.
    CSI: Miami season 6 episode "You May Now Kill The Bride"
    Calleigh says this line as she is putting on the bride's wedding vail.
    Calleigh(to Eric): You tell anyone I did this, I'll kill you.

    2nd EDIT
    Reason for this 2nd edit: I just thought of a Frank Tripp line from the CSI: Miami season 6 episode "Sunblock" that CBS replayed Saturday night.
    Frank(to Natalia): It is what it is. It ain't what it ain't. Don't make it what it's not.

    3rd EDIT
    I just thought of this from CSI: NY.
    This from the CSI: NY season 3 episode "Necrophilia Americana"
    Mac(to Lindsay): The beetles were the first on the scene. We need to know what they do. No eating.
    Few minutes laters on the DVD.
    Danny: Don't eat them.
    Lindsay: You're a little late with that one.
    Danny: Doesn't mean it's not funny.

    4th EDIT
    Here are 2 lines from tonight's-(Wednesday Nov. 5, 2008) CSI: NY episode "Enough"
    Adam: I never get to play with guns.
    A couple scenes later...
    Mac: No. Usually I'm alot less charming.
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2008
  12. future_cop

    future_cop Lab Technician

    Dec 4, 2007
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    Re: Your Favorite CSI Line From any 3 Shows.

    Here's a few more of mine;

    CSI:New York:

    'Creatures of the night'
    Mac: Aiden's on rodent patrol, I'm waiting to do a rat-topsy.

    Sleight out of Hand[(Mac hands Danny a lighter)
    Mac: You want to do the honors?
    Danny: Are you lighting your arm on fire in the name of science?
    Mac: What other job allows you to set your boss on fire? Going once, going twice...

    Brand Murder At Central Station
    Don: We got some whackadoo running around throwing acid in people's faces?
    Mac: Not acid, lye.
    Don: Alright, well, I'll start with the nuts in this city and work my way up!
  13. Carolyn_333

    Carolyn_333 Pathologist

    Nov 27, 2004
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    Here are 3 lines I have contributed over at IMDB.
    You can find them on the following 2 pages.
    Mac Taylor Quotes--IMDB
    Don Flack Quotes--IMDB
    1st up is a Mac Taylor line in the season 3 CSI: NY episode Oedipus Hex.
    Mac: No. I don't feel you. If I find out you're lying, you're gonna be feeling me.

    The next 2 belong to Flack.
    1st Flack quote is from the season 4 CSI: NY episode Playing With Matches.
    Flack [Referring to the public toilet a woman drowned in]: Put it this way: If a dishwasher and a Port-a-Potti were to ever mix it up, this thing would be their offspring.

    The 2nd Flack quote is from the season 4 CSI: NY episode One Wedding And A Funeral.
    Flack: So the neighbors were very helpful. They saw nothing, heard nothing and know nothing. Welcome to my life.

    Here's a couple Sheldon Hawkes lines I'll share without contributing them to IMDB first.
    From the season 2 CSI: NY episode Grand Murder At Central Station.
    On the DVD, this scene starts at 33:02.
    Hawkes opens the door to Mac's office.
    Hawkes: Did you know rumor has it that Jennifer Lopez's ass is insured for one billion dollars?
    Mac: Excuse me?
    Hawkes: 500 million a cheek.

    Here's a good Mac line from the season 2 CSI: NY episode Grand Murder At Central Station.
    Mac: We checked your record here. It, it's clean, but your partner's record has more flags than the U.N. building.
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2008
  14. Carolyn_333

    Carolyn_333 Pathologist

    Nov 27, 2004
    Likes Received:
    I thought of a good Mac line from the season 4 CSI: NY episode "Playing With Matches". What makes this line so good??? I'll explain at the end of this post. ;)

    Season 4 CSI: NY episode "Playing With Matches"
    Mac: Houston, we have a problem.
    (theme song starts)

    Now, the explaination why that is such a good Mac line. That line is from the movie "Apollo 13" which Gary Sinise was in. Gary Sinise played Ken Mattingly in "Apollo 13". :cool:
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2008
  15. SpeedyMeg25

    SpeedyMeg25 Coroner

    Mar 7, 2007
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    Also along the lines of Gary Sinise and his other roles, in that same episode "Playing With Matches"-

    When they (I don't remember who) are talking about the material that the luge rider's outfit was made out of, Mac says something along the lines of "It's the same stuff they use in the space shuttle."
    That's almost the same line he says in Forrest Gump when talking about his "new legs". ;)

    I like this one from "And Here's to You, Mrs. Azrael" :

    Flack: Didn't appreciate that Matt. See, this here is a new pair of pants. And I don't get uniform allowance. So I suggest you make it up to me by makin' the rest of this very easy (Flack pats down Matt). Check out what Mr. Goodwrench had in his backpocket. Set of lockpick tools.
    Suspect: What can I say? I'm always losin' my apartment keys.
    [Flack shoves his shoulder lightly] Flack: Hey what did I tell you 'bout makin' things easy?
    And from "Down the Rabbit Hole"

    Adam Ross: Double click on that template. Now, male or female?
    (Mac Taylor looks at him, eyebrows raised)
    Adam Ross: This is fantasy, be all you can be!

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