You know you're (insert nationality here) when...

you know youre from the south when...

you measure distance in minutes
you know exactly where 'yonder' is
a carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop...it's a coke, regardless of brand or flavor
you know how many collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up 'a mess'
when waiting in line you talk to everyone
you know exactly how long 'directly' is, as in: "going to town, be back directly"
you know that 'fixin' can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb
during the summer, shoes are optional
you know what grits are, how to eat them and you love them
you know the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you don't 'have' them, you 'pitch' them
you've ever known someone on the jerry springer show (my babysitter as a kid was on...scary)
it is not uncommon to get behind a tractor, a 4-wheeler, a gator or a horse on a main road
you think the star spangled banner ends with 'gentlemen, start your engines'
you've had city chicken and you know that its not chicken
you see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year
you know the difference between 'right near' and 'a right far piece'
you both know and understand the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash
when you see people you know instantly say 'howdy', 'hey' or 'how ya'll doin?'
there are more guns in your house than people
 
You know you're Dutch when you don't know the national anthem ;)

(I never come further than the first 3 lines.... and most people around me too...)
 
You know you're German when you are surprised that English speaking people don't know what a "handy" is. (I still haven't figured out why we call a cellphone/ mobile phone "Handy". Somehow we often use English words without thinking *lol* we even got a name for that German/ English mix, it's called Denglish :D)

You also know you're German when you must be very careful with singing the national anthem - people might think you're a Nazi. (Hm, actually that's not funny - but it's true...)
 
You know you're Dominican when you put pots and pans that do not fit in the cabinets in the oven and everytime you bake something you have to take them out and put them back again
 
SandleDL said:
You know you're German when you are surprised that English speaking people don't know what a "handy" is. (I still haven't figured out why we call a cellphone/ mobile phone "Handy". Somehow we often use English words without thinking *lol* we even got a name for that German/ English mix, it's called Denglish :D)

When I went on an exchange (for a week) to Germany that did strike me as weird. :D

You know you're English when ... you occasionally want to scream "add a 'u' that word has a 'u' in it". (or maybe that's just me :D)
... your main topic starter is the weather.

Hmm, I can't think of any more. :p
 
*You know that you have been in Sweden too long when ...

You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you can keep to take to the shop and which ones can be sacrificed for rubbish.

The first thing you do upon entering a bank/post office/chemist etc. is to look for the queue number machine.

You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number.

When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume:
a: he is drunk
b: he is insane
c: he's an American

You associate pea soup with Thursday.

Your old habit of being "fashionably late" is no longer acceptable. You are always on time.

Your front step is beginning to resemble a shoe shop.

You no longer see any problem wearing white socks with sandals.

You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed".

You know that more than three channels mean cable.

You eat jam with savoury dishes.

You think that riding a bicycle in the snow is a perfectly sensible thing to do.

You have conversations with people outside when it is –10C.

Having to book seat numbers at a cinema makes perfect sense. And you sit in your booked seat even if there are only 2 other people there and your seat is in the front row, on the side.

You associate Friday afternoon with a trip to systembolaget.

You think nothing of paying $50 for a bottle of 'cheap' spirits at systembolaget.

You get extremely annoyed when the bus is two minutes late.

You've been engaged for four years and don't have any plans to get married.

Americans start to look entertaining, witty and fun, and you just want to go to the U.S.A., travelling across country on a greyhound, because it's "romantic".

You think that if you smoke a joint you will wind up in an insane asylum [or become a habitual criminal].

You don't question the concept of 'telephone time'.

You become extremely skilled at assembling pre-packaged furniture kits.

You get to the movies early so that you can watch the commercials.

You accept you must walk 2 kilometres to collect your book/tape from the Post Office, because they don't deliver small packages (or large ones).

You finally accept that the milkman isn't going to roll up - ever- and you have to go out in the snow to the shop to buy your milk.

Your shed becomes the first stage in the recycling process and you can't get in it for bags of paper/cardboard/bottles, refundable glass/plastic, recyclable glass/plastic/ containers/etc.

When offered a bottle of beer the first thing you look at is the alcoholic percentage.

You think it's normal to park your car only on the right hand side of the street and are quite happy to move it elsewhere on Thursday evening because the street is being cleaned.

Everybody has an outdoor thermometer at home and they all compare temperatures when they get to work.

You know how to take care of a toddler, a pram with baby, a shopping trolley (that needs to be returned for the coin), paying for and bagging all your own groceries, without ever once expecting anyone to offer to help you.

It seems normal to you that you've been bleeding in the emergency room at the hospital for four and a half hours when the three doctors walk by on their third coffee break since you got there.

People buy you a drink in November because they remember when you bought them one in March.

You carefully dissect the restaurant bill so you know to the exact kronor how much everybody owes.

It's normal to have an entire pizza just for yourself.

The most interesting report on the news is the weather.

The wash cottage is not a holiday resort but a very competitive environment, where the rules should never be broken and in particular never go over your time by even a minute or you risk a lot of sucking and muttering from the next in line.

You put both jam and cheese on toast and call it breakfast.

You eat caviar from a tube.

You use a coupon to save 5 kronor on something that costs over 100 kronor.

The idiots in all your jokes are Norwegian.

You tease people from Scania about their "Swedish".

You actually pay an annual television fee.

You feel a certain sense of pride when you see Swedish people in films or on foreign TV shows.

You get used to seeing dogs tied up outside of supermarkets and you stop to pat them.

You think there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.

You think is perfectly normal that nobody talks on the bus, train or subway.

You accept the fact that to rent an apartment you have to wait in the queue for 5 years.

You're complaining in January not because it's minus 10 degrees, but because there's no snow.

You automatically line up the barcodes on all your groceries at the supermarket checkout.

You're used to seeing dog owners picking up the dogs’ heaps in little black plastic bags.

-----
There are many more, but these are the ones that I think is typical Swedish.
 
^^ Hey hey hey, you've stolen some from us (Been too long in Finland...)

Ok fine, the peasoup Thursday is something what we've got from you (king of Sweden :p)

I have to say, what I've visited at least in Stockholm people are more chatty than Finns (in trams or so) and they are more social.

One annyoing thing in Sweden (well at least Stockholm is) that is SO DAMN DIFFICULT TO FIND JUST STAMPS! :p

The idiots in all your jokes are Norwegian.

I'd thought would be Finns :eek: Because in our jokes Swedes are the idiots, Norwegians are bit smarter :p
 
DaWacko said:
^^ Hey hey hey, you've stolen some from us (Been too long in Finland...)
I wonder why ... ;)

DaWacko said:
we've got from you (king of Sweden :p)
Queen of Sweden if I may! :D

DaWacko said:
One annyoing thing in Sweden (well at least Stockholm is) that is SO DAMN DIFFICULT TO FIND JUST STAMPS! :p
Is it? :confused: They usually sell them where they have postcards. A funny thing happened to me when I bought some postcards in Stockholm. The guy in the newsstand was so used of tourists that he automatically said hello in English to everyone who wanted buy something. :lol:

DaWacko said:
I'd thought would be Finns :eek:
I have never heard a joke about Finns. Or maybe it's just common in the north of Sweden???
 
You know you are Venezuelan when the president of your country has a tv and radio program every Sunday which last at least 5 hours (it can be more sometimes) with no tv commercials :p
 
SvartaBaskern said:
DaWacko said:
we've got from you (king of Sweden :p)
Queen of Sweden if I may! :D

Oh the queen - didn't know that :eek:

DaWacko said:
One annyoing thing in Sweden (well at least Stockholm is) that is SO DAMN DIFFICULT TO FIND JUST STAMPS! :p
Is it? :confused: They usually sell them where they have postcards. A funny thing happened to me when I bought some postcards in Stockholm. The guy in the newsstand was so used of tourists that he automatically said hello in English to everyone who wanted buy something. :lol:

Well exactly - they sell those with postcards but only stamps are hard to find :rolleyes: Here you get stamps almost in every tiny shop :rolleyes:

DaWacko said:
I'd thought would be Finns :eek:
I have never heard a joke about Finns. Or maybe it's just common in the north of Sweden???

I guess you have more fun of picking on Norwegians and just ignore us, drunken Finns :p

We basicly make fun of Swedes all the time and of course all Swedish men are gay :p :p

For that, we cheered when Jenny Kallur and Stefan Holm was left on 4th place (even Stefan is my fave) and then cheered because Bergqvist was 7th and Arvidsson didn't get to final rounds :p

We enjoy a lot when Swedes fail because they SO enjoy the times when they kick our asses :rolleyes: (like ice hockey)
 
DaWacko said:
We basicly make fun of Swedes all the time and of course all Swedish men are gay :p :p
Oh, I didn't know that. I'll have to speak to my Swedish boyfriend ... ;)

DaWacko said:
We enjoy a lot when Swedes fail because they SO enjoy the times when they kick our asses :rolleyes: (like ice hockey)
But you guys usually win Finnkampen. :)
 
SvartaBaskern said:

DaWacko said:
We enjoy a lot when Swedes fail because they SO enjoy the times when they kick our asses :rolleyes: (like ice hockey)
But you guys usually win Finnkampen. :)

Sometimes :p Last year was horrible :rolleyes: But who goddamn taught Swedes to throw javelin :eek: I am btw flying to Göteborg tomorrow to see Finnkampen :p
 
You know you're Dutch when you speak at least two other languages! (not fluent but still....)

Everybody I know speaks at least 2 other languages

You know you're Dutch when you're in England everybody starts to ask you about clogs abd tulips :D
 
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