What's Your View On Teenage Pregnancies?

[Speedystokesgirl]

Here's my opinion on teenage pregnancies.

There should be sex education in school, where kids can get 'honest, objective' answers to their questions. Condoms definitely should be available in school, even junior highs. Let's face it kids having sex are getting younger every year.

Birth control should be discussed and some even offered through the school nurse.

The teens should be required to take a parenting class. There are fake babies out there where the teens have to take them home and the baby will cry, need to be fed, etc. and the teen has to pay attention to it.

Sex education, also, has to start at home. Too many parents are afraid to talk to their kids about sex and they shouldn't be. Telling them not to do something won't work, you need to encourage them not to do it. Make sure the girls have a strong sense of self, self-esteem and that their life will 'not be over' just because they don't have sex. Let the girls know that they boys (well most anyways) just want the sex and then will drop you afterwards.

I remember a girl emailed my nephew and to him she wanted to have his baby. :wtf: Not just sex with him, a baby. Needless to say my sister-in-law made sure he had condoms. See she lives in the real world, where a lot of parents don't. You can tell kids not to do something all you want, they're going to do what they want, make sure they are protected!!!!!!! Always have open communication with your kids so your kids can come to you about anything. This way if your daughter comes to you wanting to go on birth control you can talk to her about why not to have sex, but then get her to the doctor to get the birth control and CONDOMS. Make sure the girl knows (and boys too) that if the boy (or girl) doesn't want to use protection, then walk away. They don't care about you.

What the parents, schools, liberal, conservatives, religions need to realize: kids are having sex and telling them not to or ignoring that it is happening will not stop teen pregnancies. Giving teens condoms is not giving them carte blanche to have sex, it's making sure their protected.

The big picture is this, pregnancies aren't the only problem, many of these teens are becoming HIV positive. Sex is not worth a death sentence. They also have a lot of STDs too. Unfortunately, all teens have that 'it can't happen to me' attitude and we need to find a way around that mentality.

I knew a girl in high school that actually believe you could get pregnant from kissing. :wtf: Parents telling their kids these stupid things will, almost, guarantee that they will get pregnant.

So wake up everyone, teens and kids are having sex, MAKE SURE THEY ARE PROTECTED AND KNOW THE FACTS.

 

[GregNickRyanFan]

I definitely think there should be safe sex education in schools. The parents that say "its only ecouraging them to do it" ... god that annoys me. If the kid wants to do it, they're going to do it regardless. You're most likely not going to be able to stop them save for locking them up in their bedrooms until they're of legal adult age... and people can't do that because that would be considered child abuse.

But the whole thing about them not letting the sex ed be taught in schools is doing more harm than good. When I think about how many babies die because their mothers are very young and terrified, it just makes me so sad.

Not to mention that it's been proven that abstinence only programs do not work as effectively as people want them to. Statistics show that a lot of the teens who get pregnant are those who pledged to wait until marriage (or adulthood, whatever).

The big picture is this, pregnancies aren't the only problem, many of these teens are becoming HIV positive. Sex is not worth a death sentence. They also have a lot of STDs too. Unfortunately, all teens have that 'it can't happen to me' attitude and we need to find a way around that mentality.

This is very true. Good point, speedy. This is another big problem along with the increasing number of infant deaths (the mother wanting to get rid of the kid and leaving it in the elements or worse). I think along with safe sex education it should also be taught to teens that there safe havens where they can leave the baby, no questions asked if they don't want it.

I knew a girl in high school that actually believe you could get pregnant from kissing. :wtf: Parents telling their kids these stupid things will, almost, guarantee that they will get pregnant.

:lol: I think I remember my father telling me he knew a kid in school who thought that too. That's the dumbest thing to tell a kid. And you're right, it pretty much is not going to work.

 

[talkingtocactus]

Tbh where I am in the UK its pretty common to see teenage mothers which is also very freaky. I will go into town and see so many girls walking around with prams, my old school has set up classes for the pregnant girls.

yeah i see a lot of them round here too (south west london).

They shouldn't just get benefits because they have children.

the problem with this statement is that *everyone* in the uk gets benefits just for having children - child benefit is applicable to every mother regardless of income, age, background etc. basically it goes to everyone from the queen on down. the tories are saying that come the next election they will make it a manifesto promise to try to stop this - to make child benefit means tested. of course this goes the other way, it stops the people who are most able to look after their child anyway (financially) getting benefit and still allows it to go to those that can't.

also the problem with stopping benefits for young mothers is that this disadvantages the baby. of course it can be argued that giving a young mum money so she can go out and get drunk or whatever is damaging anyway but if you give them money at least they have an option of providing for the kid. an alternative might be to do something similar to food vouchers in america, so that young mums can have an allowance of baby essentials per week or something, and then maybe a little money on top but at least that way the baby is definitely provided for, unless you get a sudden black market in nappies and talcum powder :lol:

i'm a socialist through and through so i think removing benefits is definitely not the answer - obviously i think the system could be looked into and possibly overhauled to take account of growing numbers of teen pregnancies, but i don't think it's right to not help people just because they do something you might not agree with - the fact is that teenage pregnancies (and STIs etc) are far far more common amongst kids from deprived backgrounds than from other backgrounds. to deny people help for making mistakes that are almost certainly a result of their background and social status is taking a massive step backwards. the victorians refused to give help to poor people who weren't working, especially if those people drank, got pregnant, were petty criminals etc, but failed to recognise that living in horribly deprived areas with little work (and we're in a recession so this is especially bad now), low regional esteem and little outside help is exactly what stopped them working - it's an attitude that is fairly common in american politics too, ie that if you are doing badly, it must be your own fault. the american dream says anyone can make it and therefore if you are poor/deprived, you must be doing something wrong and therefore don't deserve help. this applies to an extent in the uk as well; oh people who aren't working but drink are just scroungers - i would *hate* for that attitude to grow here in the uk. actually i think if i felt that attitude was becoming prevalent i'd emigrate immediately. sorry to go a bit OT there - it's just that i think social factors have a massive impact on teen pregnancy rates as well as things like alcoholism, drug use and so on.

We talk about better sex education being the answer and when I see 'education' I think of schools. Why should schools be the focus of teaching teens about sex education. Back when my sister got pregnant there wasn't any real 'sex education'. It fell to the parents and in this case my parents didn't 'educate' my sister. I think the onus has to be put on the parents for teaching their own children about safe sex.

yeah, it's true - but we do live in a repressed society sexually (both in the us and the uk) and people find it hard to talk about these things. the bigger picture is to remove the stigma and idea of dirtiness that surrounds sex but that's nigh on impossible, especially while certain religions are so influential.

One interesting fact that comes across when you talk to people that have been through the catholic school system where I live is teen pregnancy is much high in their school system than in the non catholic system.

true - the catholic church is one of the most repressed and mysoginistic* institutions on the planet (actually, probably the most) and attitudes like that just lead to fear of sex, fear of talking about sex, and some kind of illicit thrill element for kids as well. having just said i blame the victorians for everything i'm going to take that back (because i love the victorians really) and say i blame religion for *everything* and i genuinely do. i hate it!

* and this is a massively mysoginistic debate overall, presumably because of the influence of highly mysoginistic religions, is that we're all sat here going on about how terrible it is that girls get pregnant young, about how young mothers shouldn't have benefits, about how girls should think more about the long term - no one has said a word about the boys; there is hardly ever debate anywhere (the press, the net, whatever) about how terrible it is that boys have sex. boys don't have to deal with consequences - well they should. obviously it's girls that carry the baby for 9 months but even so, boys should not be absolved of responsibility in all this and the fact that society always always comes down hard on the young mums but ignore the person who got a young mum in that state is a massive problem.

Honestly, I think that a lot of this stems from very puritanical attitudes about sex and sexuality in the United States. Any debate about sex positive sex education is shot down in flames by conservative people. They say that if you include sex positive education, then you are encouraging teens to have sex. If you pass out condoms, you're flat out giving them carte blanche to do whatever. Therefore, they say that sex education is the job of the parents, and the schools should stay out of it, save to push abstinence only education.

ex-bloody-actly!

I knew a girl in high school that actually believe you could get pregnant from kissing. :wtf: Parents telling their kids these stupid things will, almost, guarantee that they will get pregnant.

that's the kind of thing we used to see in teen mag problem pages - rumours about things like that - like oh i've been told i don't need to use a condom because if i shower immediately after sex i won't get pregnant, stuff like that - like wtf?

as for the thing about young mums also having young mums this is definitely very common - but again this is about social factors. in deprived areas people tend to have children younger. people often follow their parents (intentionally or otherwise) and this means you get more young mums in the next generation. it's getting fairly common here to have grandparents in their 40s or even late 30s, which i find bizarre - my grandparents were always ancient!

ps - sorry to rant a bit, social policy was my *thing* in the politics bit of my degree (just as the victorian era was my history *thing*) and i get quite into it. also these issues are ones i feel really strongly about!

 

[Urban Legend]

I think it is pretty disgusting to see teenage pregnancies. I just hate those girls who think it will be easy and fun and then when they have the baby they whine about how hard it is well HAHA thats your fault and now you have to deal with it. But the people I feel most sorry for is the babies that are born to the mothers, who are normally without fathers and not really given the love and care they deserve. It is not every teenage mother but certainly a lot of them. They shouldn't just get benefits because they have children.

I totally agree with what you posted. I just hate how they think people are going to feel sorry for them if they get pregnant as a teen. I could care less, it's not 'our' faults that they have to give into peer pressure or are some of the teens that think that having a baby is easy.

One show I used to love to watch, before it turned into nothing more than a paternity test show was Maury. When he would place the girls who wanted a baby into some sort of 'mommy boot camp' can't really remember the name of it :lol: Now that type of thing should be put in some of the schools :thumbsup: that would teach them to stop sleeping around.

 

[GregNickRyanFan]

I used to watch Maury all the time too until every show was about Paternity tests. :lol: I remember one show, (I'm thinking maybe it was Montell, but it could have been on Maury) where the teens that wanted a baby were allowed to care for someone else's baby for a whole 24 hrs (by themselves, though there were cameras and people closeby just in case anything went wrong I'm sure) I think. That changed the minds of most of them right there. :lol:

 

[Jacquie]

* and this is a massively mysoginistic debate overall, presumably because of the influence of highly mysoginistic religions, is that we're all sat here going on about how terrible it is that girls get pregnant young, about how young mothers shouldn't have benefits, about how girls should think more about the long term - no one has said a word about the boys; there is hardly ever debate anywhere (the press, the net, whatever) about how terrible it is that boys have sex. boys don't have to deal with consequences - well they should. obviously it's girls that carry the baby for 9 months but even so, boys should not be absolved of responsibility in all this and the fact that society always always comes down hard on the young mums but ignore the person who got a young mum in that state is a massive problem.

Yes the boys are just as guilty for having unprotected sex as the girls. Yes sex education and safe sex works both ways. BUT if I'm sorry to say here that if the girls learned to say NO better then there probably wouldn't be as many teenage pregnancies. There is too much peer pressure and girls usually feel the brunt of it if they aren't doing the same things as there friends are. I'm sure the boys have the same peer pressure but girls can be down right nasty to their friends if they aren't on the same page. Now remember this is in my opinion.

 

[Half]

I'm a 16-year-old girl. So I'm in high school, and I get to see the bunch of girls that are pregnant (it's a scary amount, really).

And honestly, I think they're all idiots.

There is *no reason* for a teen to be pregnant. Really. I don't understand it at all. I know that it's some sort of "fitting in" thing, but I don't even get why that in itself is necessary.

And, yes, the boys are just as guilty. But the girls are the ones that actually have to deal with all of that crap, so they're the ones that should be thinking a little bit more.

I guess I have a hard time trying to rationalize teen pregnancy because I don't understand peer pressure. I don't care if I'm not "cool" for not smoking or drinking or dating or whatever. If someone wants to pressure me into that stuff, I don't want to be their friend. I don't mind going off and finding something to do by myself. I guess if you do mind that, it's easier for you to succumb to peer pressure, but I just can't wrap my mind around it.

Maybe I'm just weird.

*shrugs* Just my two cents.

 

[Speedystokesgirl]

I'm a 16-year-old girl. So I'm in high school, and I get to see the bunch of girls that are pregnant (it's a scary amount, really).

And honestly, I think they're all idiots.

There is *no reason* for a teen to be pregnant. Really. I don't understand it at all. I know that it's some sort of "fitting in" thing, but I don't even get why that in itself is necessary.

And, yes, the boys are just as guilty. But the girls are the ones that actually have to deal with all of that crap, so they're the ones that should be thinking a little bit more.

I guess I have a hard time trying to rationalize teen pregnancy because I don't understand peer pressure. I don't care if I'm not "cool" for not smoking or drinking or dating or whatever. If someone wants to pressure me into that stuff, I don't want to be their friend. I don't mind going off and finding something to do by myself. I guess if you do mind that, it's easier for you to succumb to peer pressure, but I just can't wrap my mind around it.

Maybe I'm just weird.

*shrugs* Just my two cents.

What you said is right. I never gave in to peer pressure. I mean once you leave school it won't matter and it won't matter in life.

As for the boys, it's time they start taking responsibility for their part in this too. Why should the girl and her parents be the only ones burdened by this. The boys should be required to take care of the child too, meaning that, maybe something like: every two weeks they have to care for the baby at his house and two weeks with the mother. The father's parents should be saddled with financial responsibility too.

Maybe if the boys had to take care of their babies, YES THEIR BABIES, maybe they would be telling their friends, 'man, it isn't worth it. Now I have to take care of this baby and can't always go out and have fun because my parents won't babsit, etc. etc.' Sometimes the most powerful thing is a friend telling you not to do something and chances are they'll listen to their friends before they listen to mom and dad.

I'd tell you something, if my daughter (I don't have any kids) got pregnant I would make damn sure that the father and his parents are just as involved in raising their child, taking care of the child in their home at times and help financially. If the boy and their parents refused, you can be sure I'd be taking them to court and have the court order them too. The boys are getting off scott free and that needs to change!!!!

Since the girls have to walk around with their pregnant tummies, then the fathers should have to wear something that says they are going to be fathers, or that they got a girl pregnant. Kind of a scarlet letter sort of thing.

 

[Half]

As for the boys, it's time they start taking responsibility for their part in this too. Why should the girl and her parents be the only ones burdened by this. The boys should be required to take care of the child too, meaning that, maybe something like: every two weeks they have to care for the baby at his house and two weeks with the mother. The father's parents should be saddled with financial responsibility too.

Maybe if the boys had to take care of their babies, YES THEIR BABIES, maybe they would be telling their friends, 'man, it isn't worth it. Now I have to take care of this baby and can't always go out and have fun because my parents won't babsit, etc. etc.' Sometimes the most powerful thing is a friend telling you not to do something and chances are they'll listen to their friends before they listen to mom and dad.

I'd tell you something, if my daughter (I don't have any kids) got pregnant I would make damn sure that the father and his parents are just as involved in raising their child, taking care of the child in their home at times and help financially. If the boy and their parents refused, you can be sure I'd be taking them to court and have the court order them too. The boys are getting off scott free and that needs to change!!!!

Since the girls have to walk around with their pregnant tummies, then the fathers should have to wear something that says they are going to be fathers, or that they got a girl pregnant. Kind of a scarlet letter sort of thing.

There's a class at my school, and one of the projects is that two kids get a baby doll and they have to take care of it for a week. Since I'm finishing-this-year away from not having to be in high school anymore (*g*) I think that should be what they do in "sex-ed" classes. It's not the same as an actual kid, but at least it makes people think. Especially since it forces girls and guys to take care of the thing. (Can you tell that I'm not a kid person? *laughs, even though this is not a laughing matter*)

You're right, though. Guys need to get more responsibility for these situations. I know a girl who got pregnant, and her boyfriend was really good about it. He was completely supportive of her. But, unfortunately, he's the minority.

I love the idea of making the guys wear something to make them stand out. What's unfortunate about that is that you know that they'd find away around it. Or, worse, parents would complain because the school would be "discriminating" against their sons.

 

[GregNickRyanFan]

When I was in High School, the attempts to peer pressure me just made me laugh more than anything else. This one girl in particular even told me that if my [high school] boyfriend and I did *that*, that it would clear up my acne. I just thought that was the dumbest thing I'd ever heard. She must have thought I was naive enough to believe something so ignorant. Why the heck would that clear up acne? :lol: And my hs bf did try to talk me into a couple of times, but I stuck to my guns.

 

[Half]

When I was in High School, the attempts to peer pressure me just made me laugh more than anything else. This one girl in particular even told me that if my [high school] boyfriend and I did *that*, that it would clear up my acne. I just thought that was the dumbest thing I'd ever heard. She must have thought I was naive enough to believe something so ignorant. Why the heck would that clear up acne? :lol: And my hs bf did try to talk me into a couple of times, but I stuck to my guns.

Wow, that's sad. And actually rather pathetic. I'd like to know if anyone would believe that. I can't even see how that could be even remotely true. Actually, you know, GNRF, that's a thinly-veiled insult. Yeah, I want to listen to someone after that. :lol:

 

[GregNickRyanFan]

Wow, that's sad. And actually rather pathetic. I'd like to know if anyone would believe that. I can't even see how that could be even remotely true. Actually, you know, GNRF, that's a thinly-veiled insult. Yeah, I want to listen to someone after that. :lol:

:lol: The funny thing is, my acne wasn't even that bad. At least not as bad as some people had it. It was just such a weird thing for someone to say. It was weird that she was trying to convince me that I should do that with my boyfriend. What did it matter to her? She and I weren't even really friends or anything.

A line my HS boyfriend tried to use on me to talk me into that was "but my friend's girlfriend lets him". :lol: My response was: "Well, I'm not your friend's girlfriend. I'm YOUR girlfriend and it's not going to happen." :lol:

Peer pressure is definitely out there and some people fall for it. Though I'll never understand why. At the end of the day, you're the one that has to live with the choices that you make. However, if those choices bring another life into the picture, then that little baby has to deal with the choices that you made as well.

Sometimes I just feel like these kids that want to have a baby are in too much of a hurry to grow up. I just want to say to them: Trust me, being an adult is not always all it's cracked up to be whether you have children or not.

 

[Half]

:lol: I don't know what's worse: the fact that people believe it or the fact that so many believe it that they actually put the answer in a magazine like a serious question.

 

[GregNickRyanFan]

:lol: I don't know what's worse: the fact that people believe it or the fact that so many believe it that they actually put the answer in a magazine like a serious question.

:lol: I was shocked to see it in the magazine. It surprised me that I wasn't the only one who'd been told that myth. But apparently the other person who'd been told that believed it enough to write in to an advice column and ask. :lol: I think when I got home from school that day (that I was told that myth), I called my grandma and said, "You'll never believe what someone told me at school today". :lol: She laughed about it too.

There are actually a few of my teen cousins (boys and girls) that I worry about. I worry that they may end up teenage parents. The boys in these situations do need to be given more responsibility though, no question about it.

 

[Half]

What's sad about this is that some pretty intelligent people actually believe this stuff. Not necessarily the acne thing, but the "this will make you popular and well-liked". I mean... no, not going to reference Criminal Minds again. (I'm drooling over the new promos, so I'm surprised I'm managing to avoid going there. :lol I'm just trying to say that people that are usually smarter than that are falling into that belief, and I can't figure out why.