The Retreat

Z

Zan1781

Coroner
Title: The Retreat
Rating: K
Summary: Oh camping we will go!


Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing CSI related. That honor belongs to the good folks over at CBS.


“Grissom, you can’t be serious!” Sara said, sitting at the break-room table.

“Yeah, Gris, I don’t think so…” Nick trailed off, glancing over at Sara.

“Don’t worry, guys, he’s joking… I think…” Greg chimed in, taking a sip of his special blend of coffee.

Grissom rubbed his chin, standing just inside of the doorway. “No, I’m not. We’ve been separated for far too long, and it is time to come together again. As a team.”

“Well, can’t we just go out to dinner, Gil?” Catherine asked.

“Or play a game of pick-up basketball?” Warrick threw out.

“Or go to one of the aquariums on the strip?” Sara suggested.

“Or play Playstation?” Greg asked. Sara threw a look at him, trying not to roll her eyes. “What?” Greg retorted. “It’s good for your hand-eye coordination!”

“Riight…” Sara replied.

Before Greg could retort, Grissom held up a hand. “We’re going camping… and that’s final.”

“In a hotel, right?” Catherine asked.

“With running water…?” Sara worriedly added.

“And a gym…?” Nick put in.

“With a basketball court…?” Warrick asked.

“If you consider a tent to be a hotel,” Grissom said with a small smile, “And a stream as running water, and hills as a gym, then… yes… we’re going that kind of camping…”

Sara sighed, standing up. “I need to pack, then..”

“One bag, each…” Grissom told everyone, standing up, and once again rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“How about three bags?” Catherine asked.

“How about one bag?” Grissom shot back, walking towards the door. “We leave at 4:00 pm, from the parking lot here.”

“Great,” Greg muttered. “Wait, are batteries allowed..? Handheld DVD players? Portable game players…?”

“What do you think, Greg?” Grissom asked. “The answer is no.”

------------

“What’s for dinner?” Nick asked the group, as Warrick built a fire for the campers.

“We’re having grilled chicken, baked potatoes, and vegetables,” Grissom replied, setting out the ingredients and the tinfoil.

“So… we just put all of the food in the tinfoil?” Greg asked. “And then put the tinfoil on the coals?”

“Exactly, Greg,” Grissom said, as he started scooping vegetables onto his tinfoil.

“Good, I’m starving,” Nick announced. “I think I’ll have a little bit of everything…” he added.

“I think I’ll have a little bit of everything, minus the chicken…” Sara mumbled, frowning.

“And I’ll have her chicken,” Greg said, pointing to the chicken breast sitting untouched, in front of Sara.

“So tell me again?” Warrick then asked. “How… is this supposed to engender team unity?”

“Because while dinner is making, we’re going to talk,” Grissom told him.

“About…?” Catherine asked.

“Us,” Grissom replied.

“Oh…” Sara said.

“Do you all trust me…?” Grissom then asked. Each CSI hesitantly nodded. “Good. Then I want to know what you’re afraid of.”

“I don’t… understand…” Warrick quietly said.

“I don’t feel like sharing that information,” Sara threw out there.

Greg looked confused. “How will that help us come together, as a team?”

“It will give us insight into how we all think,” Grissom simply said. “And I’ll go first. I’m afraid that some day, I won’t be able to stop something bad from happening to one of you,” he said, making eye contact with each of them, “Or that our team, our family, will be permanently split up.”

Catherine sighed, looking at the ground. “I’m afraid that my daughter won’t grow up with everything that she needs or wants in life.”

“I’m terrified of being seen as a failure,” Nick threw out there.

Warrick kicked a stone, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m afraid that I will never make a good husband… or a father, when the time comes.”

“I’m afraid that video killed the radio star, and that satellite will kill the video star…” Greg said. When no one laughed at him, or his joke, he sighed. “I’m afraid that I will miss something at a crime scene, causing us to let a killer go free…” he admitted.

“And I’m afraid that I will slide further into depression…” Sara finally said.

Sitting around the camp fire, none of the CSIs looked up, each lost in his or her own world. Finally, Grissom cleared his throat, causing everyone to look up at him. “We need to remember that although we are all individuals, we are still a family; a family where the members care about one another. If anyone wants to talk about his or her fears, now… is a good time to do it. We’re all… listening…”


TO BE CONTINUED
 
Title: Nick’s Story
Rating: K
Summary: Oh camping we will go!


Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing CSI related. That honor belongs to the good folks over at CBS.


"Are you serious about this, Grissom...?" Nick asked, glancing around the fire at the faces of his friends and colleagues.

Grissom merely nodded. "I am... we're a family, whether you all know it or not..."

"Okay," Nick sighed, rubbing the back of his head. Looking around at his friends, he gave a small smile. Once again staring at the flames, and holding his hands out towards the fire for warmth, Nick sighed. “I might as well go first.”

"It's... okay, Nicky," Catherine finally said to him. "Like Grissom said, we're listening...and we’re family."

"Right," Nick replied, not bothering to make eye contact with anyone. "Well... like I said before, my biggest fear is being a failure..."

"Well that's a stupid fear," Greg spoke up. When Sara gave him a nasty look, he hesitated. "What I meant to say is that you are one of the smartest people that I know... and... I can't see you ever being a failure..."

"Let him talk, Greg," Grissom quietly admonished the young CSI, stoking the fire. "He talks, we listen."

Nick nodded, taking a deep breath. "I, uh..." he started to say. "I, uh, feel like... I'm already a failure, I guess..." he quietly said. "My father... wanted me to follow in his footsteps, and go into law... actual law," he clarified, “Not forensics. And my mother? Well... I don't really know what she wanted for me, except... I feel like I haven't done what she wants." Clearing his throat, Nick once again gazed into the fire, and tried to focus his attention on the pop and glow emanating from the embers. "I...you know... when I almost died last year...?" he asked, still not making eye contact with anyone.

"Uh-huh..." Greg replied. Sara wrapped her arms around herself for warmth, staring down at the ground, while Grissom added some more wood to the fire.

"We remember," Warrick told him. "We... were there... with you..."

"Right," Nick mumbled. "Well, while I was... locked inside the coffin, I had time to think," he fidgeted, again rubbing the back of his neck. "And you know what crossed my mind...?" he quietly asked. "That... I made a stupid mistake at a crime scene, and let you guys down... I..." he took another deep breath. "I saw my life flash before my eyes, and... there were things that I saw that I regretted. I regretted... not trying to have more fun in life, and not going out with you guys, or whipping Greg's behind in Final Fantasy."

"HEY!" Greg said.

"I regretted not going out for dinner and drinks with you, Catherine, on the night that you ended up at the bar alone, or Sara, going to the diner more often with you after finishing a case. And most of all, Grissom... I regretted not turning out to be the CSI that you claimed I could always be…I..." he swallowed, once again staring at the ground. "I... found a lot to regret."

Sara frowned, her eyes slowly moving from the fire, up to Nick’s face. "Nick, I--" she started to say, before he cut her off.

"I... don't know..." Nick continued. "I... don't want to let anyone down..." he trailed off. My father was... always so busy. He came to my games when he could, and... he supported me in my activities, but..." he quietly said, "He wasn't... there for me. Emotionally. He always told me that I could do better, that I could be a better man. But... I don't know how to do that... I'm... doing the best that I can, you know...?" he whispered, finally looking around the camp fire, desperate for someone to make eye contact with him, so that he didn't feel quite so alone. Only Sara was looking at him, her eyes riveted to his. The others, he realized, were trying to give him some space... to process what he was saying.

But that's not what he wanted... he wanted to feel connected with them. Staring at the fire, Nick took another deep breath. "When I was buried alive, I... did some thinking. A lot of thinking, actually..." he quietly told them. "Warrick?" he asked, as the other man's head snapped up. "You have it together, man... a wife, even though you weren't married at the time, and a career... I envy you. And Catherine," he continued, as she slowly looked up at him. "You... are strong, and sensitive, all at the same time... a born leader." Turning his attention to Greg, Nick gave a small laugh. "And Greg... you... figured out what you wanted at such a young age, and... made the switch from DNA to field work... I envy your drive. And Sara?" he said, although her eyes were already fixed on his. "And Sara?" he repeated, "You... are one of the people whom I trust the most," he shrugged, before looking over at Grissom. "And Grissom, I..." Nick mumbled, looking down at the ground. "You're... the man that I have strived to please the most; the person who's opinion has always mattered the most to me; the man who I thought of as a second father," he said, burying his head in his hands.

Sara finally returned her gaze to the ground in front of her, staring at a pebble, while Greg ran a hand through his spiky hair. Catherine leaned back on her log, before clearing her throat. “Nicky, I… had no idea that you felt that way, honestly,” she finally said. “I… can’t imagine what you went through in that coffin. But do you really… feel like a failure?”
Nick nodded.

“But… your life has so much meaning, Nick,” Warrick told him. “You get to wake up every day, and put bad guys away…”

“But… that’s just it,” Nick told him. “How… can we put bad guys away, when they are doing their best to kill us at every step of the way?”

“Are you… afraid of dying, Nick?” Sara quietly asked him, lifting her gaze to meet his again.

“I… don’t know…” Nick shrugged, looking down. “I’m… afraid that they will come after me again, or… I’ll have another gun pulled on me, or… someone will finally be able to take me out. What if… what if something happens, and I fail to solve the problem…?”

“It’s like in Final Fantasy X,” Greg told him.

“Not now, Greg…” Catherine said, frowning. “Now is not the time for video games…”

“No, wait, hear me out…” Greg firmly replied, holding up his hands to silence everyone. “The main characters have to save the world, right? Well… Titus tries to save the world, but he can’t do it alone. His friends help him. He starts off with very little powers, skills, and weapons, but through the help of his friends, he starts to learn how to survive… and how to fulfill his destiny,” he finished, grinning.

“What I think that the Game Genie is trying to say, Nick,” Warrick put in, “Is that you don’t have to do things alone… we’re your team, your family. We can learn, and grow, together. You aren’t a failure… until you give up. And we won’t let you…” he finished.

“Well said,” Grissom finally told the group. “See, Nick? Family. We’re your family. And for the record…? You never once let me down. Not even for a second.”

Nick nodded, trying to unobtrusively wipe his tears away.


TO BE CONTINUED
 
(Thank you again for your comment! I appreciate it!)



Title: Greg’s Story
Summary: Oh camping we will go!


Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing CSI related. That honor belongs to the good folks over at CBS.


“Yo, Greggo, you’re up…” Nick said, glancing over at the younger CSI. “Well... if you want to, that is...”

Greg frowned. “See? That’s my deepest fear, right there…” he pointed out, glancing around the camp fire at everyone.

“What…?” Nick asked. “That we call you ‘Greggo,’ rather than Greg…?”

“Guys…” Grissom said, clearing his throat.

“No,” Greg replied, “That you won’t take me seriously.”

“But Greg,” Catherine laughed, “Have you… heard yourself talk before…?”

“Catherine,” Grissom again warned. “Come on…”

“Yeah, I’ve heard myself talk before,” Greg said, staring at the fire. “And I know that I can be a little silly at times…” Glancing up at the group, he smiled. “Alright… very silly at times. But all of my joking aside, I… want to be a good CSI... like you guys. And unfortunately, a part of me is afraid that I will screw something up, because… I lack the experience that you all have.”

“But Greg…” Nick trailed off. “We all started somewhere, too…”

“We all had a first case, and a first year…” Catherine told him.

“And we’ve all made mistakes at a crime scene before, Greg,” Warrick added. “Every single one of us. Even Grissom, although he’d never admit it.”

“Of course I would admit that,” Grissom said, rubbing the bridge of his nose, “Because it’s completely true. “We’re not perfect, Greg. We make mistakes, we learn from our mistakes, and then we make new mistakes…”

Greg once again looked down at the ground, avoiding the gazes from his friends. “Speaking of perfection, it’s strange, you know…? Sometimes I… miss being in the lab…”

“You do…?” Sara asked him, surprised.

“Well… sometimes. It’s predictable. It’s easy. Someone brings you a sample of DNA, you analyze it, and you kick back the results. Someone else hands you another sample of DNA, you analyze it, and you kick back the results. It’s the same… and impossible to screw up…” he said.

Warrick cleared his throat. “Greg, lemme ask you a question, okay…? What do you like about being a forensic scientist?”

“I like… the challenge of it all… analyzing the crime scene… putting chaos into order… fitting the pieces of the puzzle together, putting the bad guys away…” Greg trailed off.

“And then what do you not like about it…?” Warrick asked.

“The fact that if I miss a piece of evidence, someone goes free,” Greg admitted. “It isn’t like that in the DNA lab. Again, in the lab, I just analyze what someone else brings me… I mean, what if… what if I miss something major at a scene, you know?” he asked, searching the faces of his colleagues for some sign that they understood what he was trying to say.

“Greg,” Grissom spoke up, leaning back on his log. “Answer me this. What do you see?”

“What do I see…?” Greg repeated the question. Grissom nodded. “I see… a fire, smoke, trees, camping equipment…”

“You’re missing the obvious, Greg…” Grissom told him.

“That’s what I’m afraid of!” Greg continued. “What if I miss the obvious?”

“Look around you, Greg. What do you see…?” Grissom tried again.

“I see… all of you, looking at me…”

“That’s right. And why are we all looking at you?” Grissom asked.

“Because… I’m talking…?”

“No, Greg,” Catherine spoke up. “Because we care about you. That’s what Grissom, in his roundabout way, is getting at. We’re all here, because we care about one another. You’re afraid that you will miss some sort of key evidence at a crime scene, right? Because you’re still new on the job…?” she asked. Greg simply nodded. “Well guess what, Greg… you aren’t alone. Sara, Warrick, Nick, Grissom, myself, and even Jim, Sofia, and Al… we’re all a team, whether you are at a crime scene alone, or not. We’re a team, a family. You’re not in this alone, Greg,” she repeated, “Because it is our job to back one another up. That’s what friends, teammates, and families do. They look out for one another.”

“And as far as taking you seriously,” Nick added, looking over at his friend. “Well, I think that we all take you seriously… we might steal your coffee from time to time, or laugh with you, but… I know that we all have respect for you, Greg…”

“You… do…?” Greg asked.

Sara rolled her eyes at him. “Of course we do, Greg. You’re one of us. You help make the days bearable, by providing some much needed comic relief…”

“Definitely,” Warrick agreed.

“That’s the whole point of this retreat, Greg,” Grissom told him. “For all of us to remember that we’re a family.”

“We’re like the Three Musketeers,” Greg pointed out, “Except… there’s six of us.”

Everyone smiled, looking down at the cooking food.

After a couple of minutes of silence, Warrick spoke up. “Damn, I’m hungry. The food smells great, Grissom… when can we eat?”

“Now, I think,” Grissom told him, grabbing some tongs out of one of the storage bins, and removing the food from the coals. “Just… give it a couple of minutes to cool-off, and then you can eat… drinks, napkins, and silverware are in the storage bins, help yourself.”

“What… no room service…?” Nick joked, standing up and stretching.

“Hell no, Nicky, you’re on your own,” Warrick grinned, following him to the storage bins.

“I’ll take a diet soda,” Catherine said, remaining seated. “Thanks!”

“Yeah, fat chance, Catherine,” Greg smiled, following Nick and Warrick away from the fire.

“Fine…” Catherine sighed, standing up and following the guys. “Sara, you coming?”

“In a minute,” Sara mumbled, staring at the fire.

“You don’t have to share, Sara…” Grissom quietly told her.

“I know, but… I think I will. After Catherine and Warrick go…we’re all a family, right…? Well… a good one, I hope…” she amended, standing up. “Not like mine.”

Grissom stood up, following his team to get the rest of the supplies for dinner.

TO BE CONTINUED
 
Awesome. I'm writing a Fan fic too about the CSI's going on a retreat. Seems like great minds think alike. Great Story.
 
Thanks for your comment, I appreciate it! I've got Sara's chapter all done, but.. I need to do Warrick and Cath, first!
 
Awwww, I love it! I can't wait to hear what the rest of them will say, this is just so great! Ya just wanna give Nicky and Greg a hug.


Xx..::Mia-Sara::..xX
 
(Thank you for all of your kind comments and reviews!)

---

Title: Catherine’s Story


“Well, dinner was good,” Catherine said, looking around the camp fire at her friends.

“Yeah, but I’m still hungry,” Greg told her.

“Greg, you had two chicken breasts!” Catherine grinned. “Yours and Sara’s!”

“I’m a growing boy,” he shrugged with a smile, balling his tinfoil up, and flinging it across the fire at Nick.

“Hey! Don’t even try it!” Nick laughed, balling his own tinfoil up, and throwing it at Warrick.

“Wait a minute! He throws his at you, and you choose to throw yours at me, rather than back at him? Where’s the justice?” Warrick laughed, flinging his own tinfoil at Greg.

“Great,” Sara sighed. “I feel like I’m back in tenth grade!”

From her log, which was next to Sara’s, Catherine shrugged. “It could be worse, you know.”

“How do you figure?” Sara asked.

“We could be back in eighth grade…” Catherine replied with a small smile and a chuckle.

“I loved eighth grade!” Greg enthusiastically told them. “That’s the year that I got my first-“

“Whoa, Greg, no,” Warrick grinned, shaking his head from side to side. “I don’t want a mental image of any of your firsts.”

“I was going to say that that was the year that I got my first laptop!”

“Right…” Nick grinned.

Everyone lapsed into silence, once again staring at the dying fire. “Alright, folks, who’s going to go next?” Grissom finally asked, as he added some more wood to the fire, and stoked it, in order to keep it going.

“I’ll go,” Catherine said, raising her hand for a moment. “Although, I can’t say that I’m really looking forward to this,” she sighed.

“It’s not…that bad,” Greg told her with a smile. “Your armpits will sweat a little bit while you’re talking, but… nerves will do that to you. It’s expected!”

“Great, thanks, Greg,” Catherine said with her own smile. “So…my biggest fear has to do with Lindsey, and… how I’m raising her. I’m… worried about her, you know…? I’m not the best mother in the world, although… God knows that I’m trying my best.”

“What makes you think that you aren’t a good mother…?” Sara asked. Because you’re a heck of a lot better than my own mother ever was.

“Think about it, Sara…” Catherine replied. “When… do we work? How often do we have overtime?”

“I know that, but… you’re there when she wakes up in the morning, and when she gets home from school…” Sara pointed out. And you talk to her, too…that’s more than I can say for my mother.

“And I’m gone for dinner, and I work weekends, and I… the list goes on and on,” Catherine sighed, staring across the fire at Grissom. “I’m trying to do my best to raise a good kid, you know…? But… it’s so hard to do it by myself.”

“I can respect that, Catherine,” Warrick spoke up. “I can’t imagine being a single parent. It can’t be easy on you at all.”

“What if she… makes the same mistakes that I made, and follows the same path that I took?” Catherine asked. “I don’t want her to be an exotic dancer…” she trailed off. “I… want her to go to school, and have a career…”

“First of all,” Nick told Catherine, leaning back on his log, “Lindsey would be lucky to follow in your footsteps. You are a respected forensic scientist, in one of the best labs in the country. She could do worse, you know. And secondly,” he continued, “kids are going to make mistakes, Catherine. No matter what you say, or do…”

Greg just smirked, looking over at Catherine.

“What’s so funny, Greg…?” she asked.

“I was just thinking,” he said with the hint of a smile. “When I was younger, I used to do the complete opposite of what the adults around me told me to do. It didn’t matter what they said, I just… did the opposite.”

“Hmm…” Nick said. “And that has changed how…?” he asked Greg, trying to hold back a laugh. Greg just narrowed his eyes at him, before breaking out into a smile.

Grissom coughed, throwing Greg and Nick another warning glance. Turning his attention back to Catherine, he pointed out, “We can only provide guidance to our young, and then hope that they follow our advice…and then let them make their own mistakes.”

“I know,” Catherine sighed. “And Lindsey… she definitely takes after me. She’s social, and inquisitive, and independent, and--“

“Strong-willed?” Greg asked.

“Ahem,” Grissom said, once again clearing his throat.

“Yes, Greg, and strong-willed,” Catherine said with a smile. “And I’m worried about what she’s doing, when I’m not around… it’s…”

“Called being a good mother…” Grissom finished her sentence for her.

“But it goes beyond that,” Catherine continued. “She’s already starting to hang out with the wrong crowd. What if… something happens to her, and I… lose her… for forever…?” she quietly asked, looking down at the ground. “She has no idea how much I love her, and how much I’d miss her, if she were truly gone,” she softly added, starting to lose her composure.

“When’s the last time that you told her that you loved her…?” Sara quietly asked, turning her head to the side to look at Catherine.

“This afternoon, before we left… but… she just sort of brushed my words off, as if they didn’t mean anything to her. She just said, ‘uh-huh…’ and continued doing what she was doing,” Catherine replied, frowning, as she felt a couple of tears forming in her eyes.

“Call her, Catherine,” Warrick finally said. “Go call her, right now…”

Catherine looked up at Grissom, who only nodded. “Go ahead,” he told her. “You should get service out here… we passed a tower on our way in.”

“What happened to the no cell phone or pager rule?” Catherine meekly asked, brushing her tears aside with a few of her fingers.

“I think we can make an exception this time,” he replied with a small smile. “Go ahead and call her. It isn’t that late,” he added.

Catherine nodded, standing up and walking over to the tent that she was sharing with Sara, in order to grab her phone. “Be right back…” she quietly told the group, ducking inside, and dialing her home phone number.

“Willows residence…” Lindsey said into the phone.

“Lindsey? It’s me, Mom…” Catherine shakily said.

“Mommy? Why are you calling? What’s going on? Are you okay?” she asked, her words coming out rushed.

“I just wanted to talk to you for a moment, honey. How are you doing…?”

“Uh… okay… but… are you okay…?” her daughter asked, picking up on the tone of her mother’s voice.

Catherine looked up at the ceiling of the tent for a moment, rubbing her forehead, and trying to breathe normally. “Yes, honey, I’m fine. I just wanted to-“ she choked back a sob. “I just wanted to tell you that I loved you,” she added, once again wiping away her tears, and trying to hide the sadness in her voice from Lindsey.

“Mommy? You’re scaring me…” Lindsey quietly said. “What’s going on…? Why are you crying…?”

“Nothing’s going on, Linds…” Catherine whispered, as her eyes glistened with tears. “I was just thinking that I haven’t spent a lot of time with you lately, and I’d like to… I really, really would…”

“And… you’re calling me to tell me this now…? Aren’t you camping with your work friends…?” she hesitantly asked.

“Yes, honey, I am, but…” Catherine choked back another sob, “But I wanted you to know that you mean the world to me, okay…?”

“Okay…” Lindsey replied. “But I already know that…”

“You… do…?” Catherine asked, surprised.

“Uh-huh… how could I not know that…? You do everything for me…”

“But… I work a lot…”

“To make money so that I can have whatever I need…” Lindsey slowly replied, confused. “And to keep the bad guys off of the streets…Mommy? Are you sure that you’re okay…?”

“I’m fine, Lindsey…I’m fine…” Catherine whispered. “I love you, honey…”

“I love you, too, Mommy…”

“And I’m taking a week off in April, okay…? For your Spring break? Maybe we can plan a trip together…?”

“That would be great, Mommy,” Lindsey replied. “I’d like that.”

“Okay, honey. Go to bed, alright…? It’s late… and no junk food before bed, no matter what Grandma says!”

“Too late, Mommy. Love you,” Lindsey told her.

“I love you too, honey,” Catherine sighed, closing the phone, and placing it back inside of her bag.

Wiping away her tears, and trying to compose herself, Catherine returned to the camp fire.

“So is all well in the Willows household?” Nick asked with a smile.

“Apparently so,” Catherine smiled. “Apparently so. Oh, and Grissom? I’m taking off for a week in April.”

Grissom raised an eyebrow, and gave Catherine a small smile. “That would be fine.”
 
(As always, thanks for your comments and reviews!)

Title: Warrick’s Story
Summary: Oh camping we will go!


Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing CSI related. That honor belongs to the good folks over at CBS.

“That leaves the two of us…” Warrick told Sara, looking over at her. “So who’s it going to be..?”

“It’s all you,” Sara muttered, staring down at her hands. I really… don’t want to go at all, she thought to herself. I really, really don’t.

“Okay…” Warrick shrugged, glancing at the supportive gazes of his friends. “You all know about my… problem, right…?” No one answered him. “Well… my former problem, I guess…” he trailed off, staring into the flames of the fire. “Although… when something consumes your life for so long, I’m not so sure that it ever stops being a problem.”

“What are you talking about, Warrick…?” Greg asked. Grissom shot the young CSI another warning look. “Sorry…” he mumbled.

“It’s alright, Greggo,” Warrick sighed, once again studying his hands. “I told you that my greatest fear is not being a good husband and father, right…? Well it goes beyond that,” he said. “Because in order to be those things, you first have to be a good man… and I’m not…”

“Yes… you are…” Catherine told him. “You are one of the nicest men that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. You are very sweet, and sensitive, and intelligent, and articulate, and…”

“Uh, Catherine, those aren’t necessarily the best manly traits…” Greg trailed off, trying to hold back a smirk.

“Can it, Greg,” Catherine replied, frowning at him. “But Warrick, you have a lot going for you… you really, really do…” she tried again.

“Thank you, Cath,” Warrick replied, rubbing the back of his neck. “But… I don’t agree with you. My gambling problem…caused the death of Holly Gribbs, and… I can never forgive myself for that. If I hadn’t…” he started to say, taking a deep breath, “If I hadn’t left her alone at the crime scene, she never would have been killed…I should have… known better…” he finished, studying the ground in front of him.

“Yes, you should have,” Grissom simply said, staring across the fire at Warrick. “And I am not going to tell you that you did not make a huge mistake… one that ended up costing Ms. Gribbs her life, because… that was probably the biggest mistake that you ever could have made, Warrick,” he told him.

“Grissom!” Catherine sharply said, looking over at him.

“C’mon, Gris, lay off…” Nick added.

“What happened to listening without judging?” Greg asked, trying to hide his surprise at Grissom’s words.

Sara just frowned, still looking at the fire. She had no clue what Warrick was even saying, because she was too preoccupied with the fact that she would have to share next.

Grissom held up a hand to quiet everyone down. “But what I will say, Warrick, is that you made a mistake. A mistake. The fact that you left Holly alone at a crime scene does not make you a bad man, and it does not indicate that you will make a bad husband, or even a bad father, when the time comes for that. What it means is that you had a lapse in judgment; a lapse that to my knowledge, has never reappeared.”

“No, it hasn’t, nor will it ever…” Warrick trailed off, looking around the fire at his friends. “I just… her death… it hit me hard, you know…?” he asked. “I mean, I know that it hit everyone hard, but… I was to blame for it. And then when you got kidnapped, Nicky,” he added, turning to look at his friend, “I had visions of Holly again… except… it was your face that I was seeing. That damn internet connection,” he muttered. “That damn button…”

“But… I lived, Warrick…” Nick quietly said, looking over at his friend. “And what happened wasn’t your fault...”

“Maybe,” Warrick shrugged. “But every time that I clicked that button, and saw your face on that screen, I felt… helpless to do anything to get you out of that mess. And then when you grabbed the gun, Nick, and I watched you load it, I… damn…” Warrick mumbled, putting his head in his hands, and taking a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves.

Greg stared at the ground, once again finding an interesting pebble to study, while Catherine studied her hands. Sara, once again, was lost in her own world.

“I’m… alive, Warrick…” Nick repeated.

“I know, but… when you pulled the trigger, and the light when off,” Warrick continued, his voice catching in his throat, “I thought for sure that you were dead…I… felt so powerless to help you, Nicky, and…because I sat there and clicked the button time after time, I felt so… responsible. The more I clicked, the worse I felt. If I had just… insisted on taking the case in the first place, you wouldn’t have had to go through all of that,” he whispered, staring down at the ground again, so that no one could see the tears glistening in his eyes.

“Then it would have been you, ‘Rick… it would have been one of us, no matter who took the case…” Nick quietly told him.

Warrick nodded. “But watching you, and knowing that it could have been me, reminded me of how I single-handedly killed Holly… which reminded me that I had, and I guess that I still have, a gambling problem, which… reminded me that I am not a good man. How… can I expect Tina to love me, when… I’m not good enough for her…?” he asked the group.

“I think the real question, Warrick, is how can you expect Tina to love you, when you don’t even love yourself…?” Grissom asked him. Greg laughed. “What’s so funny, Greg…?”

“I, uh… nothing,” Greg muttered. You just sounded like Dr. Phil there for a moment. “Sorry…” he added.

“But I don’t… know how to,” Warrick finally said. “I am so angry with myself, for so many things, and I just… don’t know how to forgive myself.”

“You just have to, Warrick… before it eats you alive,” Catherine told him.

“There are so many positive things about you, ‘Rick. You just have to… try to see them…” Nick added, trying to be helpful.

Warrick gave a small chuckle. “Okay, I’ll bite… like what…?”

“You’re intelligent,” Catherine pointed out.

“And you have a sense of humor… not as good as mine,” Greg told him with a smile, “But a good one.”

“You try to help the rest of us out, whenever possible…” Nick added.

Crap, what was the question? Sara thought to herself. “You, uh…” Positive traits about Warrick. “You are like the protective older brother that I never had…” she said, before lapsing back into silence. Shoot. I have a brother. Do they know that?

“And you are one of the best CSIs that I have ever met, Warrick, hands down…” Grissom told him. “You have come a long way in the past six years, and… I am proud to count you as a member of my team.”

“…Really…?” Warrick asked.

“Absolutely,” Grissom replied.

“And for the record,” Greg said, “I’m glad that you’re back on my team… I didn’t like being separated from you, Nick, and Catherine… not that I didn’t enjoy working with Grissom and Sara, but… we started off as a team, and… I was upset to be torn apart…”

Warrick nodded. “Well… thank you…” he trailed off.

“Warrick…?” Nick then asked.

“What?”

“Are you still gambling…?”

“No, Nick, I’m not. I have a family now, and… I needed to grow up.”

“Good…” Nick told him.

“Because as I see it,” Catherine jumped in, “You don’t have to worry about being a good man. You already are. But one question…?”

“Shoot,” Warrick told her with a small smile, looking up. “Are you and Tina having a baby…? Is that where all of this talk of being a good husband and father is stemming from…?”

Warrick simply nodded yes, grinning. Catherine and Nick exchanged glances, before smiling at one another. Greg looked absolutely stunned. “Kidding!” Warrick then said. “Just kidding!”
 
*plays "My Immortal" by Evanescence while getting ready to read Sara's story. :) I think that would be cool to play in the background while I read it, whenever it is posted ;)

~sar
 
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