The RANT And I Can't Say This Aloud #4


Excuse me student who thinks that sexual assault is always the victims fault. You deserve to be knocked in the face! I am so done with school right now! LIKE SERIOUSLY! WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? I do not understand how some people can be so ignorant. Oh and lady in walmart, stop staring at my daughter, I know I'm 19 and yes she is freaking adorable, now stop staring. UGH! You would think that I'd be use to this by now, but nope!
I'm so f*cking angry. And so f*cking hurt. I know she's hurting, and I know this is unfair of me. But while I'm so crushed by the thought of her just trying to committ suicide I'm also furious. What if she'd died? How am I supposed to breathe without her in my world? I'm just crying now. And I'm so angry because I didn't even know. I've been too busy with my own shit to even notice. I hate myself for that. God.

* Edited cos of swearing, sorry!
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Come on, Spike, quit editing CSI NY episodes!!! (I don't recall them doing it to LV eps much but IDK.) I'm a DL shipper, I wanna see the whole Lucy's birth scene, not half of it. Grrrrr! And TNT, air some episodes, would you? I don't care about basketball and your original stuff, squeeze it in somewhere. You said it'd be on one night a week anyway, and when I tune in, it isn't. BOOOOOOO!
Dear library: You claim to have just renovated, yet it looks the same as it did 15 years ago when I was last there. Also, your selection of books hasn't changed in the last 15 years either. You're disorganized, under-funded and it shows. A city of 60,000+ people can't have a decent public library, apparently.

But it's nice to know you care so much about people stealing your 30-year old books that it's like passing through the TSA just to get upstairs. Priorities?
Dear airlines,

You couldn't get another damn plane to replace it with since the one my mom, me and aunt were supposed to use broke in Vegas? Really? Didn't like having to take the late flight out of Phoenix into Charlotte then having to spend the night at a hotel because of your stupidity.

Dear sister,

Why did you ask me what I wanted to do then I told you and you gave the look and said, UGH!? Why did you do that? This is usually why I don't like to say what I want to do around family, they make fun of you or don't like it. At least my cousin didn't act like that.
Right now I'm so angry I could scream. First my cat breaks my headphones, so I go to buy new ones for money I don't really have. Then I come home and he's broken the speakers for my laptop. I don't own a TV, so I watch EVERYTHING on my laptop. Now I have to buy speakers for money I don't have. I hate having a cat right now.
Who does my mum think she is?! I stumble across an old friend's of hers facebook (whom I'm not friends with on fb) and the first thing I see is my mum blabbing on about how I've been going through a lot of rough times since last fall and I was just diagnosed with Asperger's. WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! How is that ANY of her business to spread around? So angry I'm shaking.
To the CVS website

When a person chooses to make a photobook they want to make it their way. When I told it what pics I wanted in it you automatically made the pages your way which costs $31.98 and wasn't the way I wanted it. I want the pics/pages the way I changed them around to and was much closer to the $19.99 one. However it's still listed as $31.98 because there are now 7 blank pages that I have to pay for simply because my way was different than your way. If you can't adjust this so I'm paying for what I want then I'm going to delete the project, pictures, and account and try somewhere else that may be more accommodating.
I am having a serious problem with my parents. I am 20, living on my own, in a committed relationship (7 years), I have a daughter, working full time, and going to school. Yet everything I do isn't good enough! I am honestly so done with them, I worked my butt of in high school to get that 98 average so that I could go to a good University and get an education. I am working full time and saving money and not using student loans because I do not want to be the daughter of rich parents that begs for everything! No, I want to be my own person and I want to be successful without their help! UGH
My summer so far has been stress, anxiety, school, work, stress, doctors, stress, tiresome, stress, anxiety, school, and more stress.
I'm angry. The world's gone mad and I'm loosing it.

First my work took out of me a bucketful of nerves. Second, it made my depression worse. Third I almost jumped in front of a car because I realized I'm absolutely nothing, a pain in the behind for my mom and total looser for myself.
And for all that I have to say huge thanks to the buttheads steering this country. They'd made it so everything that really matters to my closest is money.
And now I hate money for making everyone think about upcoming Euros and our already squished financial situation.
And I hate that all my closest cares is whether/when/if I am going to get a job.

It makes me wanna die... Really die. Because I'm unable to just go and get it. And I cannot simply explain what is holding me so tight that every time I am about to try I feel like I have a panic attack.
I know I'm awfully shy and avoid social contact in fear to be laughed at, but now that has turned illogical.

I'm helpless and desperate. On the verge of giving up.
But I can't.
The promised laptop and my new phone is all that keeps me barricaded into this small room of hope. That and my fanfiction that helps to hold it.

And I have an amazingly persistent empathy gene. I am too conscious of consequences caused by my giving up, so another thing holding me on straight and narrow...


it feels so much better now :)
This. Really. pisses me off.

I'm buying farm off my parents (I already own half of it). They built new home. There's still lots of my brother's stuff, since he has been living in small apartments but now he build a house. His dogs have been here for the same reason and I told him to take the two youngest (esp terrier, which I hate) and no. Because no. I also have told him to get his stuff, he says yes and nothing happens. He'd better take those by end of the year or a) I stuff everything in garbagebags and dump on his yard or throw away /give clothes away to charity. And guns (hunting).. How they hell they think I can have 10 guns in my house when neither of us have permits? (half are my dad's).

Yesterday we got in an argument about everything, when I told him to get his stuff since this isn't his home anymore. He just is like he has always been. A bully. He just commands everyone and expects everyone to do so. He actually called me a communist, because I only care about myself. (Hmm, I give him free milk, I gave him several kilos of meat when we butched a heifer for ourselves - free. I feed his dogs, he keeps borrowing farm's equipment for free. I took his sick dog to vet because he didn't have time and second time he wants to borrow MY car to take the dog to the vet. Well that was the last time)

And yes, after all, my parents will always take his side, because he is the only son(oh yes, did I tell my brother is 32?).

Are the dogs mine? No. Have they been here, since one belongs to my dad? Yes. Have the dogs been here, sincee he couldn't take them to city? Yes. Does he has now a house in countryside? Yes. He can keep dogs there? Yes.

I am not going to live in MY home that others can dump the unneeded stuff here. Or I'd store everything in case it may be needed.

For YEARS I've hoped him to take off so he'd stop terrorizing others and yet he still manages to that.
To Charter Communications (or the ION television network? :confused:)

I know when I went to bed last night we still got ION. And I know that we loose the feed at times. But it always comes back and we're left with a frozen screen until it does. Sometime since last night we lost ION and I'm sitting here with a black screen until I decide to reprogram the stations. Now it doesn't even acknowledge 24-12 which happens to be ION. I type 24-12 and it goes to the next nearest station 24-10! I've gone through every station - TWICE - and I do not have either the 24-12 ION station (20 when going through a box) or the lower quality ION station that is up in the 75/76 range. Knowing that Charter Communications is continually moving/removing stations and not telling us that they are going to be doing it I ask - Charter Communications, what happened to the ION Television Network on Charter Communications in Worcester MA? I'm missing my "Flashpoint"! :brickwall:

A getting pissed customer!
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I can't believe all that's happened and will happen...

So first the darned life happened... and crashed upon us like gazillion stones. We got to literally pull ourselves out of gutter by hair Minhauzen-like.. and if that wasn't enough mom's job was b*** only lending money (or so mom says) instead of making it like an actual support.
Okay, hell with that bunch of Scrooges.
But our own relatives turned out b*** (some) but f*** with them too.
In my entire life I hadn't felt more lonely as I feel now. And I still hope to get back on with some of my old gang.

I hate you life for being such a b***!!!!!

And on top of all *bs* we got € now.
A piece of new papers come with higher numbers and empty house.

And if that wasn't enough we all but was left with 2+3 channels. The 2 oldies that makes national television and stayed in free broadcast minus 2 commercial stations that decided to ditch free and went paid.. plus 3 new from locals... Needless to state the new ones are a bit stretch of a nerve because they have little entertainment so far.

And for better juice, I'm now officially looser. Unemployment sucks like a dick and I'm taken onto big steam roller of hate towards government.
I just hope it actually will get better so I can leave this country for good...

2013 - you were an assbutt (Castiel's word, not mine, I'm just borrowing) and I hope 2014 will be as splendid as my horoscope promises.


Thank you, peers, out. :angel:
To my dog and cat: will you quit fighting and just get along already???? Dog,the cat might like you if you quit chasing her even when she does tease you. Cat,the dog just wants to play. Calm down and quit hissing and smacking her.