The Rant and I Cannot Say This Out Loud #3

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To the job market:

Please open up. I've been looking for months and months and months, and nothing has materialized.

To the place that I applied to, got interviews and essentially got offered a job:

Please call me back like you promised to set up Orientation. I'd like to work, kthanxbai.

To my insomnia:

Cut it the heck out. Three or four hours is not a good nights rest, especially with what I've been taking to just get to sleep. It's unnerving, because...well, I can't sleep, and I'm a mess when I don't sleep.
 
To K from Physical Anthropology,

At first I wanted you to take an interest in me. That's why I deliberately started sitting next to you during class. That's why, when talking to you, I smiled a little more than I usually do during conversation. That's why I did my best to laugh at your jokes (even when we both knew they were lame). That's why I even tried to flirt (even though it's painfully obvious that I'm out of practice).

And then you did take an interest in me. You stuck around in class to help me with an assignment when you were no longer required to stay. You asked if I needed help studying, and when I said I did, you came to my house and you were completely awesome, reciting from memory everything I asked about, and you were so good with my son. You pushed for more extracurricular socializing, so I invited you to meet my friends. They like you. Heck, you played Star Wars Monopoly with us - that's bound to win them over.

You sat next to me, closer than is strictly platonic. When I was too chicken to push it any further, you leaned against me on the couch in such a way that I had to put my arm around you. When I was still too chicken to push it any further, you gently put your hand over mine and kept it there. When I was still too chicken to push it any further, you looked me in the eyes... and that look told me you mean business, you ARE interested, quite clearly. You promised to call.

And now I'm terrified.

.............

I haven't done intimacy of any kind for so long that it scares me. I've gotten so used to my life of nice, safe celibacy that even holding hands sends my heart into palpitations. I've resigned myself to an existence as a rock with biological functions, a chunk of solid matter that takes up space, breathes, sweats, studies, watches tv, eats, sleeps, etc, but otherwise does NOTHING.

I'm afraid of anything other than NOTHING. I may be... no, I'm sure I'll end up being a disappointment. And maybe I'll be the one who's disappointed. And maybe I'll be betrayed again. And maybe I'm not sure I can handle that again. "I am a rock, I am an island. And a rock feels no pain. And an island never cries".

My stomach is in knots. I can't think straight. People aren't supposed to get so flustered over this kind of thing. This is supposed to be the GOOD part of living, getting out there and making connections. That's what all the shows and movies say. That's what all my friends and family say. That's what I'm sure all the nice therapists would say if I ever visited one (gawd, do I ever want to visit one).

I'm supposed to be fearless. I'm supposed to be bold. I'm supposed to be... not what I am now.

*sigh*
 
To My Big Man:

Thank you for saving my life last night.
Thank you for not freaking out, judging me, or rushing to put me into some kind of mental institution because my problems flared up again...and you happened to be on the receiving end.
Thank you for actually being open & honest with me, thank you for admitting you couldn't sleep last night without knowing I wasn't going to do something stupid.

You saved my life, and I <3 you for it. Always will.
 
To the bus driver:

YOU CAN NOT ATTACK SCHOOLKIDS!!!! F*** YOU DARN CREEPY EWWY GROSS OLD MAN!!!!!!! I'm sure that you are a pedophile too... you know, no one likes you, not even my mom does anymore. and she likes everybody. (except you of course) And, you claim WE teach the small children bad language?!?! HECK, you have NOTHING TO SAY!!! You should hear yourself when you are driving! Swearwords FLOATS ot of your ugly mouth!!!!!! I. HATE. YOU!!!!!
 
To my lovely internet stalker..

First of all, I don't have an IMDB account.

Second of all, I'm not reporting you or your crazy friends..but boy do I wish I could because I went on there for the first time in days and I see you're trashing me. I'm not even on the damn website.

Oh well, you'll believe it because you're nuts and need professional help.

In fact, if you look at some threads in other likewise sites, I'm hardly even posting because I'm very busy. I'm working two part-time jobs, taking care of my family and studying.

So believe what you want. I have no control over you or your actions. It just ticks me off to see you act in such a juvenile way.
 
To the people trying to use our phone number to charge phone calls:

It's an answering machine and it can't accept the charges. We don't answer the phone right now unless we're expecting a call or we recognize the voice. So you can stop at any time.


To the idiots who are calling us (I think! :confused:):

When the voice says 'please leave a message at the beep' it's an answering machine. Hello..........Hello...........Hello upwards of 10 times does not constitute a message. It doesn't even give us enough to figure out who you are to be able to call you back if we wanted to.


To my brother's X,

Lady if your kids are such angels with you then how come your daughter can't get past Tuesday before she is gloating on how she got her brother in trouble over the weekend? They go to bed when you tell them to. :wtf: How do you know? According to both your children you're in bed no later than 8 and they're left watching tv and playing video games. You have no idea when they go to bed and if your son is any indication it's way too late. Every time they're there for more than 2 days he practically does a face plant into his dinner Sunday night. It's wrong that they aren't allowed in each other's rooms? They need the companionship. Their room is the only place in the house that each one of them has as their own private space. They need space to get away from eachother. I'll give you that they need companionship, but with kids their own ages. Your daughters only friend is her brother whom she feels free the disturb whenever she wants. Your son had friends but Mama couldn't spare him for a few hours each weekend so he could play soccer with his friends so he lost them as practically every boy in his class plays soccer (or some other sport) - he has nothing in common with them now. Your X-husband went behind your back and got a lawyer. No - He did what he had a right to do. Just because you, the one who's been remarried, didn't want a divorce doesn't mean he didn't. You can't blame him because you ended up with a court appointed lawyer. You could have gone out and gotten one yourself.

If you want to bring the divorce agreement into it - you get them for half of Thanksgiving, Christmas, & school vacation weeks. Not the whole damn thing. You are not going to get them for 7 straight days over Christmas and you can go back to court all you want. My advice - get a lawyer this time because the first thing a judge is going to do is talk to the kids (as they're 14 & 12 now) then he's going to delve into your past. They're going to find out about your lack of paying bills (for you and the kids) that you are responsible for. They're going to find out that not only are you divorced but you are now seperated from a second husband and are living with a third potential husband and that it took 6 months for your children to be able to see you in this house because you didn't tell him you had kids. And guess what - you're going to find out that while your daughter has everything she wants at mummies - She doesn't want to live there. We've threatened to leave her with you permanently and she won't go. :(

I think you need to open your eyes and realize that the only times you feel motherly towards these kids is on your birthday and Christmas!
 
not really that much to rant about just in a really bad mood:scream:

to people organising prom:
don't have a go at us for not getting the money in you said bring it in next friday, and now your saying you have to change the dates and it is OUR fault for not bringing in the money soon enough? where the hell did u get that from?and fyi im not even going to your crappy overpriced,unorganised piece of rubbish you call a prom and dont bother telling me it is stupid not to go and all my friends are going I DONT CARE i dont want to go. it is too expensive, it is 45 miles away and we have to make our own transport there and back and it is some crappy cheap club. so dont have a go at me and tell me you think i am stupid for not going because it is none of your business, i don't really like about 99% of our year so y should i waste hundreds of pounds and hours of my time getting dressed up and hang out with them? NO THANKS:scream:
 
DAMN YOU TARGET.COM! :mad: :brickwall:

First for screwing up my order, well my husbands order.

And second, for charging my mom's account and then having HER accuse US of using it!!!

This is so screwed up I don't even know where to begin!!!!

Mom, it's not like I purposely used your card. I think you owe US a BIG apology! It's an automated system, they screw up. That's why there is a CUSTOMER SERVICE department for such a thing. I think you have a whole lot of nerve accusing ME and my husband of using your credit card!!!!! And then not wanting to believe it was an accident!!!!! Well screw you too mom!!!!!!!!!!!! Merry F$&*$^$ING CHRISTMAS!!!

I know that was nasty but that's the mood I'm in right now after this whole debacle!
 
To My Internet Stalker

Oh so you posted my rant over at IMDB..why am I not suprised..

LOL..get a life will you....for being best fan of you-know-who..I couldn't care less..I'm not even in the running..I just want you to stop bashing me all over the net or I'll be taking legal action..do you know..that an actor actually sued Wikipedia for false info..you want to find yourself at the end of a a legal battle..keep going..keep going..I have a lot of friends in high places unlike you who have friends in low places..you know..the sludge..

To the kids at my school..stop stealing brownies..you make my boss crazy and when you make my boss crazy..then she makes me crazy..please for the sake of my sanity..STOP STEALING THE COOKIES AND BROWNIES..they hardly cost anything and my boss gives them away for free on Fridays..can't yah wait!
 
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To A:

I am sure you are a great guy, but you are driving me insane. I barely know you, and I can understand if you would like to talk to me more often just to know me. No, I am not arrogant and self-absorbed. But I don't want to talk to you all the time. You even contact me in the most unsuitable times, when I am busy. You make me feel bad if I say 'Goodbye' immediately. Because I know that you are harmless and just are meaning well. Would you mind giving me space and let you contact you once in a while? I don't feel the urge to talk to you daily about the most pointless things when I would like to do other things too.
 
to the local CBS Affiliate...

WTH!?! Preempting the last NEW CSI NY episode for a stupid Christmas Concert Special featuring Alabama... How ignorant are you. especially when you show the commercial for CSI NY as well saying that it was coming on at 10... then few moments later showing a commercial for the Christmas special at the same exact time slot! are you meant to confuse the hell out of me and many CSI NY fans in the nation's capital region.
 
To you know who..

Why do you keep posting the same thread over and over and over and over and over and over again? In some circles, they'd call that OCD. Seriously? Don't you have a job or school or something to keep you busy during the day? Why are so obsessed with thi?. Live and let live. Not everyone in this world is going to see things from your perspective. That's just life. Just let it go and move on will you?

I feel very sorry for you. I mean I don't understand why you are trying to force people to see this issue from your perspective. Even fi they did, it's not gonig to change the reality of the situation. You have no control over this person you are obsessed with. They are going to do what they want, when they want and how they want. It's theri business.

Being obsessed with anything is very unhealthy and perhaps you should talk to someone about it. Everyone's gone through it, so you have nothing to be ashamed of. Just admit you need help and life wiill go on. In ten years, you're going to look back at all this and say, "OMG..what was I thinking?" If you want to limit the regrets, start with just walking away and finding soemthing ore constructive to do with your time. I mean I work, I hang out with my friends and family. I don't have a perfect life. BUt I'm okay with it.
Do yourself a favour and move on.
 
to the local CBS Affiliate...

WTH!?! Preempting the last NEW CSI NY episode for a stupid Christmas Concert Special featuring Alabama... How ignorant are you. especially when you show the commercial for CSI NY as well saying that it was coming on at 10... then few moments later showing a commercial for the Christmas special at the same exact time slot! are you meant to confuse the hell out of me and many CSI NY fans in the nation's capital region.

I just got my TV Guide for December 21-January 3. While I was looking at it, a thought crossed my mind. Maybe that Christmas special is gonna be on next Wednesday. If your local CBS station is like ours, they start advertising stuff way in advance. Next time that commercial for that Christmas special airs pay more attention to the date.
 
to the local CBS Affiliate...

WTH!?! Preempting the last NEW CSI NY episode for a stupid Christmas Concert Special featuring Alabama... How ignorant are you. especially when you show the commercial for CSI NY as well saying that it was coming on at 10... then few moments later showing a commercial for the Christmas special at the same exact time slot! are you meant to confuse the hell out of me and many CSI NY fans in the nation's capital region.

I just got my TV Guide for December 21-January 3. While I was looking at it, a thought crossed my mind. Maybe that Christmas special is gonna be on next Wednesday. If your local CBS station is like ours, they start advertising stuff way in advance. Next time that commercial for that Christmas special airs pay more attention to the date.

i just looked at the date and it is tonight! :(

 
Yah did it again...LOL..you keep posting and posting..I guess I must be hitting a nerve with you.:guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw:and I never made up any stupid story..ruff! ruff! ruff! aroooooo!!!!

Maybe I should do a Miley Cyrus rap on You Tube since you're acting about the age of her fans..maybe you'll understand that way.

Dear Winter..can you just stay for Christmas and go away in January..

Dear PM of Canada, stop making us look like dang fools..
 
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