Re: Featured Ship of the Week--Stetler/Horatio Slash
Why is House hugging Horatio? Is he about to strangle him? That's the only explanation I could think of.
Prison sex is always hot. Since Stetler would get there first he'd make Horatio his bitch and nobody could mess with him.
But why ruin their lives? Marisol is going to die anyway. So Mari dies, and Horatio has to take care of his HoBaby all the time. One night, after everyone has gone home, Stetler walks through the lab to mess around with the night shift, and as he approaches Horatio's office he hears a lot of crying. Thinking he has a woman in there, Stetler turns to leave, but stops when he realizes Horatio isn't putting another woman through stiff, uncomfortable sex, it's HoBaby who's crying. Stetler peeps in to see Horatio desperately trying to shoosh the HoBaby, who's wailing at the top of his lungs. Stetler asks Horatio if he wants some help, but Horatio's HoStubborness kicks in and tells Stetler to scram. Stetler knows Horatio is just exhausted, so he grabs the baby, who immediately becomes enchanted by Stetler's mole and gradually falls asleep. Horatio is impressed, both by Stetler's gentle nature with the HoBaby and the Sweet Mole of Lust, which must be almost as powerful as the Sunglasses of Justice if it managed to get HoBaby to sleep (though the Sweet Mole of Lust is definitely a bigger whore).
He takes Stetler out to dinner as a thank you, and during their outing Stetler reveals he's always wanted to have a child but never found the right person to have it with (note he never used a gender specific pronoun). Horatio admits that's never been a problem for him: for some unknown reason, he gets a new soul mate every 6 months. Horatio offers Stetler a babysitting gig, which Stetler takes, but it has nothing to do with the HoBaby. One night, when Horatio comes home all exhausted from work, he finds Stetler in his kitchen both entertaining HoBaby and cooking a delicious filet mignon au poivre with mashed sweet potatoes and broccoli florets with crispy red peppers and crème brûlée for desert. The red and pink "kiss the cook" apron Stetler is wearing makes him look especially dashing tonight, Horatio thinks, but he shakes those thoughts away. Damn mole.
After dinner, they put HoBaby to sleep and head downstairs, where they slump on the couch in front of a burning fireplace. Horatio thanks Stetler for all his help with HoBaby, and Stetler admits it's been a pleasure being around. Horatio isn't aware of the fact that his body is scooting closer to Stetler, he's too busy wondering why the room is so hot. Well, you live in Miami and you have a fireplace, asshat, so it may have something to do with that. But Horatio is much too metaphorical to think of the simplest explanation, and though Marisol has only been dead for two months and surely it's too soon for him to get a new soul mate, he starts to wonder if there's something about Stetler he's failed to notice before. Like how smooth his skin is from a two inch distance, with the... ooooohhhh, shit.
Stetler gently brushes Horatio's lips with his own and Horatio thinks it would be a really, really terrific idea to push Stetler away and tell him he's not gay. And as the sultry little kiss starts to cross into the frontiers of something dangerous, he thinks he should also tell Stetler the stove is still on, but soon all those pesky little thoughts dissolve as Stetler's tongue teases his lower lip and all the blood rushes from Horatio's brain to his abdomen. As he grabs Stetler's shirt and pulls him towards him, the Sweet Mole of Lust and the Sunglasses of Justice congratulate each other loudly, "kick ass. Let's do Dan and Aaron next!"
Upstairs, HoBaby cries, but no one cares.
