American football.
And I have no idea how I do any of this either. :lol:
A Bigger Bang
Hummerhome, CSI Garage
Delko: Alright the windows are securely fastened.
Speed: And everything else doesn't seem to be falling apart so much anymore.
Horatio: Okay, next step boys. Paint.
Delko: I think Calleigh's the "boy" for that.
Horatio: Nonsense. Find your inner Martha Stewart and get painting.
Speed: If you love Martha so much, you paint.
Horatio: I don't want to get any in my hair.
Speed: Me neither.
Horatio: Don't you even want to know what color it is?
Delko: What color is it?
Horatio: *opens cans*
Speed: ...H, it's the same color as your hair.
Horatio: Isn't it great?
Delko: It's...Red.
Speed: Is the other one yellow?
Horatio: Yes. It makes a statement.
Speed: What statement?
Delko: *sings* Ba da ba ba ba! I'm lovin' it!
Speed: Exactly. You're going to McDonald-fy the Hummerhome.
Horatio: Nonsense.
Speed: H, we're not painting the Hummerhome bright red and bright yellow.
Delko: It's a little too...Loud.
Speed: And it doesn't match any of the furniture.
Horatio: See? You've reached your inner Marthas.
Speed: If she were here, she would beat you up.
Delko: I think she would beat all of us up.
Speed: Yeah. And she's old.
Horatio: I could take her.
Delko: Yeah, out for coffee.
Speed: That was good, man.
Delko: Thanks.
Horatio: Just paint the Hummerhome. *grabs plastic* Cover everything.
Speed: *grabs plastic* Can we cover the walls with it too?
Horatio: But then the paint would get onto the plastic and not the walls.
Speed: Exactly.
Horatio: No. Cover the furniture and paint the walls.
Delko: But it's bright yellow and red!
Horatio: It'll be easy to see.
Delko: Yeah we'll be sitting ducks.
Horatio: The yellow will match.
Speed: What, and the red can be the blood?
Horatio: If you want to see it in such a negative light.
Speed: I hope you won't ask us to paint the outside too.
Horatio: *picks up paint cans* I went to Costco for the rest.
Delko: Great...Jumbo cans of paint.
Horatio: Okay, I'll be in my office. *tugs door*...*yanks door*
Speed: ...What are you doing?
Horatio: I can't get out. I must have jammed the door when I put the new locks in.
Delko: You put the locks in wrong?
Horatio: It seems that way. *places hands on hips* Too bad this is solid steel and bulletproof.
Delko: So are the windows. We can't break them.
Speed: Did you guys glue them shut?
Horatio: Yes, to set the windows.
Speed: We're locked in with paint fumes, H.
Horatio: ..Oh...Well that might be a problem.
Delko: Might? We could die.
Horatio: Nah, we won't die.
Speed: You have got to be kidding me.
Delko: Well why don't we just close the cans?
Speed: Yeah we could except Captain America here bent the lids.
Delko: Isn't there a ventilation system?
Horatio: Actually...That needs to be repaired as well.
Delko: ...Can we call someone?
Horatio: Led roof. No reception.
Speed: You sure thought of everything. Who needs prison buses when you have the Hummerhome? I can see the ads now. "LOOK KIDS! Suffocate your way to prison!"
Delko: *laughs*
Horatio: I didn't know all of these elements combined would make for lethal results.
Delko: Hey I wonder what will happen if we light a match.
Horatio: Eric..
Delko: I was just thinking outloud. *laughs* I'm not THAT stupid.
Speed: Yeah you are.
Delko: Yeah I am.
Speed: *nods*
Horatio: Okay let's think of a plan....
Speed: ...
Delko: ...
Horatio: *snaps* I HAVE IT! We'll take the toilet out and drop to safety.
Delko: Actually we'll fall into the tank and get stuck in more fumes.
Horatio: Hmm...How about the roof hatch?
Speed: *looks up* There isn't one.
Horatio: What?
Speed: There's no hatch.
Horatio: I had one installed.
Speed: Well it's not there. Someone screwed up.
Horatio: There has to be a way out of here.
Delko: *sits down* Okay I feel dizzy. And it's getting hot in here.
Horatio: Hmmm...*rubs chin* Steel doors...Led windows...Led roof...No way out.
Speed: Thanks for the recap.
Horatio: Let's think about our crime scene investigating skills.
Speed: You want us to collect the Hummerhome and analyze it under a scope?
Horatio: That's your job. I'm talking about mine.
Delko: ...This isn't a bomb.
Horatio: On the contrary, if there's a spark...*puts on shades* ...Boom.
Delko: Then don't make a spark.
Horatio: I guess my idea about sawing a hole through the door won't work.
Speed: *laughs*
Horatio: *looks at Speed*
Speed: *coughs* Wow, that was...Unexpected. Okay, Speedy needs to sit. *sits*
Delko: *laughs* Speedy.
Speed: *laughs*
Horatio: What are you two doing?
Delko: He said SPEEDY! *laughing*
Speed: *laughing*
Horatio: *sigh*
Delko: Whoa whoa whoa. I know how we can get out.
Speed: How?
Delko: SCUBA DIVING!
Speed: *frowns* Eric...That's BRILLIANT! *laughs*
Delko: YES! Okay suit up, we're going swimming.
Horatio: Where?
Delko: The toilet.
Horatio: But you told me it can't be done.
Delko: Hey would I ever lead you into some sort of crazy danger?
Speed: Yes.
Delko: *starts laughing*
Speed: *laughing*
Delko: *trips over hammer*
Speed: *laughs harder*
Horatio: *banging on window* LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT!
Garage
Calleigh: *walks in* Now, where did I put ma kit? *walks around*
Muffled screams are coming from Hummerhome
Calleigh: *lifts brow* Horatio? *walks to Hummerhome, opens door*
Horatio: *stumbles out* THANK GOD CALLEIGH! *hugs Calleigh*
Calleigh: AH!
Horatio: How did you open the door?
Calleigh: I used my hands. Don't tell me y'all forgot how to work a door.
Horatio: It was locked from the outside.
Calleigh: Why do I hear laughing?
Delko: *stumbles out of Hummerhome* CALLEIGH! You are a southern southerner with southern charm I says!
Speed: *stumbles out of Hummerhome* WHAT HE SAID!
Calleigh: ...Are y'all okay?
Horatio: Paint fumes.
Calleigh: I thought there was a ventilation system.
Horatio: It needs to be repaired.
Calleigh: Fumes couldn't have done that much damage already. How long were you in there?
Horatio: Fifteen minutes. There was 15 cans of paint.
Calleigh: Oh my.
Delko: *hits self on head with hammer* OW! *hits self on head with hammer* OW!
Speed: *crawling under table* MEEP! MEEP!
Calleigh: ...Horatio?
Horatio: Yeah.
Calleigh: We have a case and they need to be...Um....Fit to work.
Horatio: Is that why you came down here?
Calleigh: I came down here to look for my kit.
Horatio: Well right now I don't think they're fit to work a case. Especially together.
Delko: I WANNA WORK! *stomps foot*
Speed: I WANT TO WORM TOO! I MEAN WORK! No wait...Worm?
Horatio: *rubs eyes* It's going to be a long evening.
TBC...............
