My First CSI story. CSI: Own Risk

R

RIPTimSpeedle

Witness
(Hi. This is my first try at a CSI story. I hope to get some great feedback from you CSI fans out there. And i hope you enjoy the story. Thank you.)


The Las Vegas skyline shown from 5 different angles in flashes of the casinos and hotels and the water features infront of hotels.
From a small window in a house the rain can be seen pouring down outside into a small carpark. A small front room with two arm chairs and a small wooden table aswell as a large bookcase and a 27 inch T.V screen sit in one corner of the room. The large bookcase is filled with newspapers and history books aswell as the Bible. The T.V is on showing news of weather reports over the last couple of hours. On the T.V shows a woman in yellow rain coat standing out in the middle of a road as the rain is coming down strongly. The weather reporter is heard saying.

REPORTER: And now it is all to clear that Las Vegas is in the centre of a storm season. The rain fall in the last few days alone has been almost 20 inches in a single day. And as far as we know it is only going to be getting worse. The Las Vegas storm drains have been struggling with the amount of rain passing through them and a large number of them have become bogged up. Residents of Las Vegas are being told to stay in doors as the roads are becoming more difficult due to flash rain fall. And now back to David in the studio. The arm on the chair moves to grab a can of soda. The person sitting in the arm chair grabs the can and brings it to his lips. He takes two mouth fulls and crashes the can with his hairy hand. He loosely throws the soda can over towards the small plastic bin in the corner. The shot misses just hitting the edge of the bin and bouncing to the floor. The man begins to scan through the channels slowly thumbing the remote for a different channel as a cop programme comes on. He flicks to a talk show talking about disturbed kids. Watching breifly for a moment as a 12 year old girl kicks off at her mom for never being there for her. The man mumbles to himself.

MAN: What a load of S**t. They are always the same.

The man flicks again finding a police chase. He moves around in his arm chair getting comfy again. As he see's four police cars are chasing a BMW down a busy motorway. The BMW is serving from lane to lane that is until it clips the back of a 14 wheeler truck and goes spinning off into the grassy shoulder. The cops cars quickly pull up and the cops get out. They all run over weapons draw and drag the suspect kicking and screaming out the car as the chopper catches the whole thing on camera. He smiles mumbling to himslef.

MAN: Good one that one.

He flicks over again to find a horror film. It's a zombie one where a bunch of people are trapped in a farm house as the zombies close in. He puts the programme finder up to see it's called Night of the living dead. He begins watching it as the zombies attack the house again the few remaining people trapped inside the house try to beat them off with a hunting rifle and some clubbing weapons. Suddenly from the kitchen area he hears a noise. The man slowly stumbles to his feet and walks down the hallway into the kitchen and dinning room area. He haden't used the dinning room area in months. He took two steps into the room and was about to take a third step when he spotted something on the floor. A peice of paper as the man bends down to take a look a large shadowary figure of a man is stood behind him holding a peice of metal pipe. The man is hidden in darkness as the screen goes black. Who are you intro begins to play.
 
This is a great story. You have excellent sentence structure and a good sense of how to carry out the plot so far. :) (It sounds lame but it's the truth)

It's very interesting, I can't wait for more!
 
Scene of the crime. There is the body of the man from the first scene laying on the floor with a pool of blood next to his head. The only light source is coming from the window across from the body. The moon light shinning through the window casting a square of the body. The rest of the two joined rooms is in darkness. There is a bloodly hand mark on the table. The police officer at the door is holding his belt and radio as he steps to the side Dectective Jim Brass walks through the door. He is wearing a pair of black shirt pants with a blue coloured shirt and a black tie with a deep grey suit jacket. He walks in holding a small flash light and a notepad. He is in his 50's and is a very good if not the best Homacide Dectective on the force. In behind him walks Warrick Brown. Warrick is a CSI level 3 and is very good at what he does. Warrick is wearing dark blue jeans with a black T shirt with his CSI level 3 badge round his neck. His strandard issue sidearm is on his belt. Warrick already has his latex gloves on. As he steps through the door he lifts his hand clicking his little pen light on the dead body. In Warrick's other hand he holds his silver CSI case Right behind him steps Greg Sanders. CSI level 1 still a rookie to the whole Crime Scene Investigation. He is wearing light blue jeans and a grey t shirt with a black CSI sleeveless jacket on. He is still putting on his other latex glove as he steps into the room aswell as trying to hold his silver CSI case. Greg only in his early 20's finishes putting his glove on and pulls out his penlight flicking it on and scanning it over the body. They look at the body as Jim Brass talks to them.

JIM BRASS: Lee Paulson. Aged 35. Lived with his dog. Neighbours reported his dog scratching at the front door trying to get in. They called the police to check up on it. First officer on the scene tried the bell when there was no answer decided to check the house out and found him dead. No one else has set foot in here.

WARRICK BROWN: Ok. Thanks Brass.
GREG SANDERS: Do we know if this guy has any family?
JIM BRASS: We're still looking into it. Am going to go talk with the neighbours. See if our friend has had any visitors.

Jim Brass turns and heads out as the police officer on the door follows him out of the house. Warrick walks over to the body and crouches down taking a closer look at the wound. Greg puts his kit case down and walks over to the table checking out the bloodly hand print.

WARRICK BROWN: Bunt force to the head. Can't get a good look at the wound. Doc might be able to tell us more.
GREG SANDERS: I got a bloodly hand print on the table.
WARRICK BROWN: looks like some kind of fibres in the wound.

As Warrick turns his light across the body he spots something at the foot of the door in the hallway out side. He walks over and shines his light on the tiled floor. It shows a foot print.

WARRICK BROWN: I got a foot print. Most likely a sneaker. Am going to get the electro static dust print lifter from the SUV. Take a sample of the blood on the hand print and get a couple of those fibres from the wound.

Warrick Brown steps round the edge of the door and heads out to the SUV. Greg takes a swab out of his kit and crouches down next to the table and carefully runs the swab through the outer part of the blood. He lifts up the brown cap and clips it into place protecting the swab. He then puts it into his kit and takes out his tweezers. He steps over to the body and crouches down to collect some of the fibres from the wound. As Greg is leaning over the cloest door slowly opens and out steps a man from the shadows behind Greg. He lifts a cloth in his hands.
 
This was a really great chapter. It's very much like an episode, and I like the layout you've got going. It's a mix between a script and a novel. Very nice. :) I can't wait to see what happens next. :D You've captured the characters very well. :)
 
Please update soon! lol I may have to add you to the list of authors I wind up chasing with pitchforks for leaving me hanging :devil:
 
The Crime Scene Investigation Lab. It's grave yard shift. Throughtout the lab there are people working some are sorting through DNA refenceses others are reading through reports. Others are in the gun room firing a suspects weapon from another case to try and match the staria of the bullets to see if they come from the same gun. In one corner of the lab there is Eclkals office the head of the Crime Scene Investigation lab. He is sitting there going through some reports. Heading round the centre of the lab round to the locker room we find Nick Stokes. He is a CSI level 3. He has short black hair. He is in his late 20's. He has just gotten dressed for his shift. He is wearing dark blue jeans with a tight red jumper. On his belt is his Beretta sidearm on the other side is his CSI badge. He takes out his Beretta checking it as he looks over to the only other person in the room. Sarah Sidle is sitting on the bench looking into her locker she has something in her hand. Sarah Sidle is also a CSI level 3 along with Nick, Warrick and Catherine Willows. Sarah is in her late 20's too. She is wearing black pants with a white shirt and her CSI black long sleeve jacket to keep her warm. Her black hair is in a part falling it fall either side of her head. Her hair comes down to her shoulders. She sneezed again in the tissue she had in her hand. She hated being ill but it wasen't going to stop her from working. She loved work and she loved the team she was in. Graveyard shift contained of Herself, Nick Stokes, Warrick Brown, Greg Sanders, Catherine Willows and her boss Gil Grissom. The team hade been together a good couple of years now and had grown very close. The newest member Greg Sanders had worked in the lab before becoming a CSI level one. So they had still known him the same amount of time. She looked over at Nick Stokes.

NICK STOKES: Bless you. You know you should really be home in bed trying to get better.

Sarah Sidle smiled back at him.

SARAH SIDLE: Am fine. Really. It's nothing should go away in a couple of hours.

Nick stokes looked over at Sarah. He was worried about her. She would always work. She haden't had a day off in over a year. Even if she did have a day off she would listen to the police scanner and as soon as she heard a call she would come in. He had to hand it to her Sarah lived for her work. He was just worried that she had gotten burnt out, run down and now she was ill because of it.

NICK STOKES: Are you sure your ok?
SARAH SIDLE: Really. Am great couldn't be better.

Sarah sneezed loudly again using the tissue to help cover her nose. Nick shook his head putting his Beretta back into his holster and locking it in there.

NICK STOKES: Just make sure Grissom doesn't see you like that.
SARAH SIDLE: It's ok he won't. You don't mind getting our call out from Grissom do you?
NICK STOKES: So i have to go and get our call out papers just so Grissom doesn't see you like this.

Suddenly Gil Grissom walks past the locker area. He is in his 50's with grey hair and a grey berad. He is wearing black pants and a black shirt. His CSI badge is hanging round his neck. He is the boss of the gravyard shift. He is busy looking down at a clip board. He glances into the locker room and see's Sarah and Nick. He walks inside the locker room. As Sarah turns away from him hidding the tissue behind her leg.

NICK STOKES: Hey Gris.
SARAH SIDLE: Yeah.
GIL GRISSOM: Warrick and Greg have been sent out for a 419 just off Plaza strip. And Catherine has a family emergency. We have no other call outs at this point so the next call out is going to be us three. So i want you to to be ready. Ok?
NICK STOKES: Ok Gris.

Gil Grissom turns and begins to head out. He just gets outside the door looking at his notes again. When he hears a sneeze. He stops and turns round heading back into the locker room.

GIL GRISSOM: What was that?
NICK STOKES: What was what?

Grissom spots the tissue in Sarah's hand and looks over at Nick.

NICK STOKES: If you need me i'll be in the lunch room.

Nick Stokes heads out the locker room. As Grissom steps towards Sarah.

GIL GRISSOM: You can't be in here tonight.
SARAH SIDLE: Am fine really. Am ok.
GIL GRISSOM: Sarah take the night off.
SARAH SIDLE: Grissom i... Really am good. It will be gone in a few hours.
GIL GRISSOM: Sarah we collect evidence. I can't risk you contamaining a scene because you sneezed. Am sending you home.
SARAH SIDLE: Please Grissom i want to help.
GIL GRISSOM: Then go home Sarah. If you feel better tomorrow come in tomorrow night.

Grissom turns and walks out the door as Sarah takes her CSI jacket off and puts it back in her locker getting her blue demin jacket out. Gil Grissom steps back into the doorway.

GIL GRISSOM: Oh and Sarah.
SARAH SIDLE: Yeah?
GIL GRISSOM: Get some witchhazel and put it round your neck. That should help and ease your nose.

Grissom smiles and walks away looking back down at his clip board. As Sarah reaches into her locker to get her bag out and go home.
 
Excellent chapter!

It's great how Grissom cares about Sara, and so does Nick. Aren't they a great team? :p Anyway, I can't wait to see what's next. Keep up the great work. :D
 
Warrick Brown is standing at the back of the Black CSI Land Rover. He is looking through the trunk of it searching for the shoe print lifting kit. He reaches over a couple of brown bags and finds it. He pulls it out looking round as a group of people have come out of the motel across the street to have a look and find out what was going on. Grissom had told him once that death was the most watched show in Las Vages and now Warrick could see why. No matter where they were or what time of night it was there would always be a couple of people trying to be nosey. He turned round spotting Dectective Jim Brass taking a statement from an old looking grey haired woman. The other three officers were managing to stop anyone else getting into the scene. The news reporters haden't heard about it yet. Warrick walks over and with the foot print lifting kit to Jim Brass. The old woman is talking very quietly as Jim Brass takes notes on a small pad of paper. Warrick looks over at Brass as the woman keeps talking.

WOMAN: I heard a noise at about 11...or maybe it was later...erm...no it was 11:13 i remember cause i looked over at the clock in the kitchen as i went to the toliet.
JIM BRASS: This noise you heard? Could you describe it?
WOMAN: It was like a loud bang...No wait. It was a loud thud followed by two more. Then silence.
JIM BRASS: Ok. Thank you for your time.

Warrick is just about to say something to Jim Brass when a car comes speeding down the highway a couple of feet infront of the house. Suddenly two cop cars follow the speeding car. Their sirens are going full out. Making it almost impossible to hear. Warrick has to shout to Jim Brass.

WARRICK: Any Help?
JIM BRASS: Nothing much that most of the neighbours heard. But i still have a few more to interview.
WARRICK: Ok. We'll follow the evidence.

Warrick turns away from Dectective Jim Brass and comes back in with the Footprint dust lifting kit. He carefully walks through the front door and down the corridor to the dinning room. As he steps inside the dinning room he see's Greg Sanders laying on the floor next to the dead body. The sirens of the police cars giving chase outside still drowning out most of the sound.

WARRICK: Jim! CSI down! I need backup!

Warrick quickly draws his weapon and steps into the room. Warrick begins to check the room holding his weapon in his right hand and his penlight in his left. He checks round the door and then checks round the table. Carefully sweeping across the room. He goes over to the window and checks it's shut then he goes round the counter and checks in the kitchen.

WARRICK: GREG?

After checking the room he heads over to Greg Sanders and puts his weapon back in his holster. He reaches down checking Greg's pulse. He has a pulse, a weak pulse. Suddenly from behind Warrick the shadowary figure of a man steps out of the cloest again lifting an irom pipe above Warrick's head.
 
:eek: Poor Greg! And oh no, Warrick's in danger.

Really great cliffhanger, you know how to stirr us up! :D I can't wait to see what happens to Greg. Excellent chapter, I can't wait for more. :)
 
Very nicely done, you have detailed the story so that people can get the image and yet kept it simple with a hint of mystery, right down to what they are wearing, I would say keep along this track and I would say that you are going to keep doing well. :)

I will keep reading, definitly a drawer.
 
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