GSR - The only thing I need is you

‘Gil, she isn’t going to let you in, why are you still here! You need a shower and some sleep, and most important, you need to forget about Sara! This relationship isn’t going to get anywhere! For five years it didn’t, why should it work now?’ Despite all this reasonable information Grissom’s brain threw at him, he stayed where he was, sitting in the dust next to Sara’s hospital door.

<two hours later>

Grissom still sat next to the door when it opened and Catherine slipped out. “Grissom, why don’t you go home? She isn’t going to let you in and you look rather, exhausted…”
“I’m fine, I think I’ll stay here.”
“suit yourself…”
Catherine left, but as she walked down the hallway Grissom called her name.
“Catherine!”
she turned around and walked back
“Yes?” she sounded slightly annoyed.
“How is she? What did she say!”
“She is fine, she’s not going to do this again, she just hopes you fall off the face of the earth…” ‘and into her arms’ Catherine suppressed that last sentence…
Grissom swallowed, “What should I do?”
“Think you weird man! It shouldn’t be allowed to be this stupid!”
“Cath, please! I’m desperate…”
“Ohwkay, you should open that door and beg, beg her to let you in. If she doesn’t you beg some more. If she then doesn’t let you in, you go home, get a shower and get her something romantic. If she does let you in, you apologize for being such a enormous ****** and beg her again to go and have coffee with her sometime.”
“Noted”
“After that, you go to her apartment, clean everything with blood on it and get her door fixed. You fill her fridge with everything except alcohol, because it is always empty and you sabotage her scanner.”
“why woul” Grissom was again interrupted by Catherine.
“Because she always thinks about work and work only. You take a month off and suggest her to do it too so that you can really get to know her apart from your bugs and fluorescent fingerprint powder.”
Grissom sighed, “Why does this always needs to be so difficult.”
“I isn’t, you just made it complicated by keeping her off for five years.”
“I’ll get started right away.”
“You do that, I need to pick Lindsey up from school.”

Grissom thinks for about 5 more minutes, when he finally gets up, he trembles. Gil knocks on the door and opens it a few inches, he sees that Sara is awake and she stares at him. “Sara, can I please come in?”
“No”
She answered Grissom the same way he answered her yesterday when she almost begged him to go on a date with her.
“Please Sara, I beg you, I need to talk to you! I’m desperate!”
 
Sara's side to Chapter Five

Catherine sat down in a chair beside Sara's bed. Sara looked at Catherine then looked away. Tears came to Catherine's eyes.

"I'm sorry Catherine." Sara said. "I regret ever picking up the razor and the gun."

"Why are you saying sorry to me? If anything, Grissom should be saying sorry to you." Catherine said. Sara laughed.

"I heard you yelling at Gil, thanks." Sara said, Catherine laughed.

"What exactly happened?" Catherine asked, she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"I slit my wrists with a razor. It's not that hard to understand." Sara said, her sarcastic mind had gotten the better of her. She hadn't meant to sound that mean, but she had a lot of anger piled up.

"I don't, exactly, know why yet. I heard bits and pieces from Grissom, but he's battling his mind and his heart."

"Why would he be battling his heart?"

"Because he loves you, he may not show it, but he loves you."

"Catherine, what if I went too far, what if I couldn't find a razor and I used a gun instead? If he loves me so much, why would he let me do that?" Sara whinned.

"He didn't know what you were going to do, until he used his brain. Sara, you have a great life, why would you even pick up the razor?" Catherine asked.

"I don't have a great life."

"Yes you do."

"Catherine, you don't know me that well. You don't know what my life is like."

"I'm guessing that... Grissom isn't the only problem." Catherine said quietly.

"You guessed right."

"Can you tell me what else is bothering you, I can help you fix it."

"Only if you can turn back time." Sara said, shaking her head. "You can't stop someone from killing someone else years ago."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's hard to say you have a great life when your Mother is in jail because she killed your Father." Sara said quietly. Catherine just stared at her. "And only Grissom knows about it."

Niether of them spoke for the next hour and a half. Catherine finally got up and left the room. Sara heard Grissom's voice and Catherine's voice. It sounded like Catherine was yelling at him.

"Because she always thinks about work and work only. You take a month off and suggest her to do it too so that you can really get to know her apart from your bugs and fluorescent fingerprint powder.” Catherine had yelled.

"Why does this always need to be difficult?" Grissom said.

“It isn’t, you just made it complicated by keeping her off for five years.” Catherine yelled back. Catherine was right. Catherine and Grissom talked for a few more seconds, but Sara didn't focus on what they were saying. Sara turned and saw Gil knock at her door and open it a little.

"Sara, can I please come in?"

"No." It came out the same way Grissom had answered her question about dinner.

"Please Sara, I beg you, I need to talk to you! I'm desperate!" Grissom said.

Sara looked back at him, the silence was suffocating both of them. She turned away and nodded, Sara wanted to hear what he had to say.

--------------------------
~sara_*
 
Well, here it is, I have no idea what Sara is going to tell him, I think I'm going to leave that to my co-writer, please be nice to Gil!

Grissom felt relieved, “Thanks” he said with a slightest hint of a smile.
“I’m sorry to have hurt you the past three, no five years. I was an enormous, well I don’t think I’m supposed to say that in a hospital room” Sara smiled as she heard him searching for the right words.
“I wasn’t thinking and finally Catherine yelled some sense in me, when you left my office, I didn’t knew what to do and decided that I should act like that conversation never took place… Until Cath came and I understood that we could have something beautiful together…”
“Griss, I”
“Please Sara, just hear me out… I thought we could never work out because of the difference in our ages, compared to you I’m old, I want you to have someone who can give you kids and build a family with you somewhere in the countryside with dogs and the whole nine yards. I can not offer you that because of my age and my job. It is not right for me to have someone like you, to take so many things from you, but please do not see this as if I don’t love you. I have loved you since the first time I laid my eyes on you, it is just a dream for me to be with you. Why did you think I called you and asked you to come to Vegas? Because you are great at what you do, but maybe even more because I couldn’t stop thinking about you. We were always in difficult positions, first I was your teacher and you were my student, it wasn’t proper for us to date back then. In my apartment I couldn’t resist anymore, I just had to kiss you, I never forgot that kiss. I still see it as if it happened yesterday. Unfortunately after the Gribs case I was put in charge of the department permanently. If that hadn’t happened it would have been so much easier for us to date. I like Greg, I like his coffee too, but when he starts hitting on you I get so angry and jealous, but I don’t have the right to, I had plenty of chances to go out with you, I was just too stupid to take them!”
Sara was almost crying by now, Grissom didn’t really notice, he was way too busy fighting his own tears…
“I guess you wish to know what happened to his little radio?”
Sara smiled, Grissom had one day just walked into the DNA lab and had taken the cd player Greg always used to play his horrible music, Gil had walked out with it to his car. No one knew what had happened to it but may people thought it wasn’t pretty.
“What did you do to it?”
“First, I used it for target practice in the desert since Brass thought I should know how to use a gun. Then I drove it to Lake Mead and I threw it in, I was just so jealous of him, he could flirt with you.

After you have heard all this, I wish you just to know one more thing.
I love you and if you could ever forgive me for driving you into drinking and a suicide attempt,” Grissom took one of Sara’s hands and held it gently in his “would you, my beautiful Sara Sidle, please go to dinner with me sometime?”
 
awwwww! she's got to give him another chance...it's not everyday you see a man swallow his pride and beg.
 
Sara's Side to Chapter Six

"Thanks." Grissom said in a relieved tone and a slight smile. He came into the room, closing the door behind him. "I’m sorry to have hurt you the past three, no five years. I was an enormous, well I don’t think I’m supposed to say that in a hospital room." Sara smiled, it was cute when Gil didn't know exactly what to say. “I wasn’t thinking and finally Catherine yelled some sense in me, when you left my office, I didn’t knew what to do and decided that I should act like that conversation never took place… Until Cath came and I understood that we could have something beautiful together…” He didn't have to apologize anymore, she already knew that he was sorry.

"Griss, I.."

"Please Sara, just hear me out… I thought we could never work out because of the difference in our ages, compared to you I’m old, I want you to have someone who can give you kids and build a family with you somewhere in the countryside with dogs and the whole nine yards. I can not offer you that because of my age and my job. It is not right for me to have someone like you, to take so many things from you, but please do not see this as if I don’t love you. I have loved you since the first time I laid my eyes on you, it is just a dream for me to be with you. Why did you think I called you and asked you to come to Vegas? Because you are great at what you do, but maybe even more because I couldn’t stop thinking about you. We were always in difficult positions, first I was your teacher and you were my student, it wasn’t proper for us to date back then. In my apartment I couldn’t resist anymore, I just had to kiss you, I never forgot that kiss. I still see it as if it happened yesterday. Unfortunately after the Gribs case I was put in charge of the department permanently. If that hadn’t happened it would have been so much easier for us to date. I like Greg, I like his coffee too, but when he starts hitting on you I get so angry and jealous, but I don’t have the right to, I had plenty of chances to go out with you, I was just too stupid to take them!”

Sara was in tears, and she could see that Grissom was fighting his own. Sara swallowed hard, trying to make her stop crying before Grissom noticed. It wouldn't work, she couldn't stop crying now. "I guess you wish to know what happened to his little radio?” Sara smiled, What did he do now? Grissom had one day just walked into the DNA lab and had taken the CD player Greg always used to play his music on, Gil had walked out with it to his car. Sara had always wondered in the back of her mind what had happened to it.

"What did you do to it?" Sara asked as she laughed.

"First, I used it for target practice in the desert since Brass thought I should know how to use a gun. Then I drove it to Lake Mead and I threw it in, I was just so jealous of him, he could flirt with you. After you have heard all this, I wish you just to know one more thing.
I love you and if you could ever forgive me for driving you into drinking and a suicide attempt."

Grissom picked up one of Sara's hands. Tears came to Sara's eyes again. "Would you, my beautiful Sara Sidle, please go to dinner with me sometime?” Sara paused and took her hand back. She looked into his eyes, his eyes that desperately wanted her to say yes.

"I don't know, Grissom." Sara said quietly.

-----------------------------------------
~saraa_*
 
Grissom froze for just a second, after that, he felt a very sharp pain in his chest, with those words, “I don’t know” she had driven a knife in his heart. It shattered just like a plate of glass and the sharp pieces ripped open his vital organs. Now he knew how Sara felt when he said ‘No’ and she wasn’t even rude and didn’t even say that she did not want to go out with him, she just needed to make up her mind.
“Sara, I understand you need time, I’ll just leave you to think now.” Grissom go up so fast that his chair fell backwards he ran out of the room so fast that didn’t even notice. He continued running, he ran out of the hospital and collapsed next to his car. There he was, he was in the exact same position as earlier, sitting against one of the wheels his head buried in his knees and stopped fighting his tears, he started crying. ‘She is so cruel! But, what is even more disturbing, I deserve it! I have been like this to her for the last five years! This too much for me. Sara must be so much stronger than me to be able to bear this!’

<one hour later>

Grissom was still in the exact same position as a man carrying a white coat under his arm came up to him. “Sir, are you all right? Do you need help? ” Grissom didn’t hear him, his thoughts were still busy with Sara. As the man touched his shoulder, Grissom jumped up. “WHAA!” He lost his balance and had to grab hold of the mirror of the Tahoe to stay on his feet. “Why did you do that!”
“Well, as a psychiatrist I usually take interest in people who sit next to a car and look like they are sitting there crying for an one and a half hour. Particularly when the security guard calls me to inquire if I have lost one of my manic depression cases. If I see you, I might have a new one!” Grissom didn’t even hear the reply of the man. He just stood up and walked to the driver side, opened the door, climbed in and drove off.
“Poor guy! He sure looked like he could use some prozac…”
Grissom almost caused two accidents as he drove to his destination. Sara’s apartment. He pushed the door open, this was easy since he shot the lock earlier. He strode inside, thinking about how Sara was carried out of here. As he approached the couch, and he saw the blood, he could see her laying there. It made him sick, he ran out again and, emitted the small content of his stomach over the balustrade of Sara’s apartment building. About a minute later, he enters again. He gets out a bottle of bleach and a towel from under the sink, walks over to the couch and starts cleaning the blood off the floor. He could resist throwing up by thinking this was just another scene, although it was hard, he managed to clean the whole apartment, which was necessary by the way.
As he took a seat on the couch, he saw the gun and the razor. He carefully collected his thoughts. Images of Sara flashed by, every time he thought about her she was even prettier. He realized he could never have her. This thought ripped him open from the inside, for the second time that night, his heart shattered. He took another glance at the gun. He carefully picked up and rested it in his lap. He sat this way for another twenty minutes. He got up, put the gun down again and went to find a notepad and a pen. When he found it, he returned to the couch.


“Sara,
‘Once I fell in love, now, I fell apart, a total eclipse of the heart.’
Don’t think about me anymore, how could somebody who is so cowardoes to take his own life be worth grieving over? I hope you will be happy, please give Greg a chance, he tries so hard.
I’ll always love you,

Gilbert Grissom”

Grissom reached for the gun again, he raised it to his mouth, he felt the cold steal on his lips. He put his finger on the trigger and pulled it back. “Click”

About an hour later, Grissom woke up. He opened his eyes and saw he was still on the couch, gun in hand. ‘Last thing I remember is ending my life, so, why am I still here?’ as he took a closer look at the gun, he noticed nothing out of the ordinary. He pressed the release button and the clip fell in his lap, empty. He grinned, now he wished Sara had used the gun. Glad to be still here, he got up and searched the kitchen cabinets for coffee. He smirked as he saw Sara had stolen a sample of Greg’s coffee. He took the instant coffee out which was standing next to it and created himself a cup. In the clear light of day, he was so happy the gun was empty. After he washed the cup, he placed it back in the cabinet, shot one more glance at the now pristine apartment. He took out his cell phone and dialed the number of the locksmith CSI used for opening difficult locks and safes. After he had asked them to install a new lock on the front door of the apartment and bring Sara the keys in the hospital, he walked out of the door, and shut it behind him. He walked out of the building and straight to his car, he opened the door and climbed in. He started the engine and sped off to the lab, he had missed three shifts by now and he was late for the fourth one.
He was so grateful Catherine was there to keep the CSI engine running.
When Grissom reached CSI HQ he climbed out of the truck and walked inside. “Gil, get in here! You look like you haven’t slept in ages!” Catherine said as she pulled him into a supplies cabinet. “Well, I did sleep!” “Well, you look like you came straight out of the morgue and had a treatment by Doc.” Catherine said as she pulled a comb out of her purse and made his hair into something acceptable, she didn’t know how close Grissom had been to being one of the Doc’s ‘patients’ “And by the way, the whole Sara wrist thing didn’t happen ok?” “Sure, ok”
“What happened?”
“Nothing” Gil wasn’t very good at lying, and Catherine happened to be very good at telling if people were lying.
“Tell me the truth” It didn’t sound like a request, it was an order.
“When I asked her to go out with me she said she wanted to think about it and didn’t know.”
“Well then, you can’t say you didn’t create this whole situation yourself…”
“I know, I messed up.” Gil sighed after these words, he wasn’t used to messing things up.
“What did you do after this conversation?”
“I went to her apartment, cleaned everything, called a locksmith and I fell asleep on the couch.”
“No, not even you can just fall asleep on the same couch as the woman you love tried to kill herself on.”
“Knowing you, you’ll find out anyhow. I sat on the couch and it became too much, I couldn’t take it anymore. So I wrote Sara a note, put the gun in my mouth and pulled the trigger. Fortunately the gun was…, the note!” Grissom jumped while he made that last comment ”I left the note! I forgot about it!” “Well, then you do have a problem buddy, Sara was released from the hospital two hours ago.” “Damn! Damn! Damn, I have to go!” Grissom didn’t even bother to say goodbye to Catherine, he ran out of the supply cabinet, past the A/V Lab, knocked Greg over and sped out of the door. He almost got hit by Brass in his Taurus when he blew across the road towards the parking lot. Never before was he this fast out of the lab. Five minutes later he got out of the Tahoe and ran up the stairs to Sara’s floor, again, he knocked over some people. When he reached Sara’s apartment, he found that the door was closed. “Why does that locksmith need to be on time for this once!” He knocked on the door. “Who is it?”
“Grissom, Sara I need to talk to you.” The door opened a few inches.
“Come in! Have a seat” Sara told him as she pointed to the couch. She was much too happy to see him, she knew about his attempt. The note! It was gone!
“Guess you found it then…”
“Yeah, I did… Seems that I’m not the only one who can’t stand rejection…”
“When I got here, I cleaned everything and took a seat on the couch to collect my thoughts. ” Sara looked at him, almost caring. “Then, I saw the gun and the razor. I picked up the gun, I wrote the note and pulled the trigger.” “But, why are you still here then?” “I was so focused on the fact that after I pulled the trigger I would be dead I passed out after I pulled it. I woke up a few hours later to find the gun being empty.”
“I’m glad you are still here… So the note was real and you were sincere?”
“Yeah, but you better just burn it and forget about it.”
“No, I will not forget.”
“Then I’ll ask one last time, I beg you, my beautiful Sara Sidle, I love you, would you please go and have dinner with me?”
Gil hoped this wasn’t going to backfire on him, he couldn’t even think about what he was going to do if it did…
He waited seconds, her eyes were so pretty… After three more seconds Grissom got up from the couch and started to walk out of the apartment.

Catherine needed to think, she had just been told by her colleague that he had tried to kill himself and he just ran out to fetch the suicide note.
‘This is starting to get out of hand, they both tied to commit suicide within 48 hours because they rejected each other! Why do they do this! They both love each other!’ when she sat down in the break room, she got handed a cup of coffee, she took it. “Thanks Greg”
“If I look at you, I see a very worried person.”
“Get lost Greg, I won’t tell you anything.”
“No problem, Sara called me. I haven’t been able to focus since.”
“Know what you mean. If you knew, why haven’t you visited her in the hospital?”
“She didn’t want me to, she would get out in a few hours anyway, I am going to visit her after shift. Not that I get anything done…”
“I think you should know, Sara is not one of those people”
“What people?”
“Desperate ones who don’t see anything left in life for them”
“I know, she just needs Grissom”
Catherine was shocked
“I never thought you, Greg Sanders, would say that…”
“Sara needs someone who truly can make her happy, Grissom is the only one who can.”
“Wanna gab something stronger than this?” Catherine said as she pointed at the mug.
“I’d love to, shift is over any minute, you know a good place?”
“I know a good place, you really do need to get out more”
Greg smiled at the comment, he knew it was true.

Gil opened the door to the apartment, and walked out. “Grissom! Wait!”
Grissom didn’t wait, he just continued walking down the balcony. Then, something unexpected happened, Sara had ran after him, and when she caught up with him, she pushed him against the wall. They looked at each other for just one second when she kissed him passionately. He was too shocked to do anything for the first moment, then, he answered her kiss. This kiss lasted for hours, at least, it seamed that way for Grissom. When the contact finally broke, Sara spoke, “I’d love to have dinner with you…”
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top