Top41 wrote:
I get that, I do, and I do think she was justified in saying something to him. But why not, "I care about you and want to help you through what's going on" and not "I need to get over being in love with you"? Why not try to reach out to him rather than just shutting him down.
One of the things you've pointed out numerous times is how Danny doesn't seem to feel the same way as Lindsay does about him, right? I think based on how he's been treating her she may have realized this as well.
So the question really becomes why would --or more, why
should-- Lindsay do anything more with Danny? She laid open her feelings for him and the immediate response wasn't overwhelmingly positive.
[FONT="]Remember, it's more than just a missed birthday and a brush off for lunch. He walked away from her when she rushed in to the morgue during "Child's Play". He didn't even think to call her for what happened in "All in the Family", nor did he ever thank her for covering his shift. He avoided her calls and it's implied that he's been avoiding her altogether.
Then there's the forgotten birthday and him not wanting to go to lunch with her. I think if he'd been sincerely apologetic she wouldn't have been so hard on him, but really think back to his reaction to her missed birthday.
It was more of a flippant "Ooops, my bad" than an actual "I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you". And let's face it, Danny's refusal to have lunch with Lindsay was just that; a refusal. He made it clear he didn't want to spend time with her.
To top all that off, when Lindsay was obviously still upset at him, instead of him saying, "Look, I know I've been difficult, I'm sorry," he had the audacity to say, "Why you gotta be that way?". He says this the same day he slept with another woman. Lindsay may not know that, but we, and certainly he knows this.
[/FONT]Danny did go easy on Lindsay in "Love Run Cold." He spoke to her kindly--he just wanted an explanation. And when she walked away from him after giving him only the very basics, all he did was call after her, "If you need anything, I'm here for you." Hardly a "Well, if you don't want to open up with me, I'm done with you," which is what she essentially said to him.
I'll have to disagree. Danny was persistent in that episode, demanding her to explain to him what was going on, and being slightly harsh with her when she didn't give him an answer. It was obvious by Lindsay's behavior that something was up but until the end of the episode, Danny was vastly more concerned with his needs than her needs.
And recall; Lindsay brushed Danny off for
one episode and was finally honest with him at the end. She didn't tell him what was happening in her life but she did tell him that she couldn't start something up with him.
Danny on the other hand, has been brushing Lindsay off for at least three episodes, and he hasn't been honest with her in the least. Not to mention their relationship is at a different point now than it was in "Love Run Cold". Regardless of whether they were truly boyfriend/girlfriend, they are still far more intimate and close than they were when Lindsay stood Danny up.
PerfectAnomaly wrote:
He hasn't been nasty to her. Not going to her with his grief does not equal nasty.
I didn't say not going to her was nasty. I said at one point he was nasty to her. There's a big difference between what I wrote and what you're implying I wrote.
There is no set time limit, but I would think if she's in love with Danny she'd give him more than a month to grieve for a child for whose death he feels responsible. How long did Danny wait for and coddle Lindsay? Again, if we're supposed to give Lindsay a break I don't see why you don't have to give Danny a break.
Lindsay has never said that Danny shouldn't grieve. I think the problem is her role in the grief process, or at this point, her lack of a role. She wants to help him and he's made it abundantly clear he doesn't want her help.
And I don't give Danny a break because well, his behavior isn't acceptable. Just because someone is having a problem doesn't mean that they should get a "break". You can understand their situation, you can be there for them, but you cannot excuse them for what they do. Lindsay didn't get the benefit of the doubt from fans, why should Danny?
Loving someone doesn't mean getting pissed at them when they're emotionally vulnerable and going through a particularily rough time, either. Danny wasn't hard on Lindsay in LRC. He wanted an explanation for why she stood him up and wanted to discuss their feelings for each other. That's not asking much. Plus, she didn't even bother to give him a lame excuse, let alone tell him what was going on with her and he still put his feelings aside and told her he was there for her if she needed him. If that's not coddling someone, then I must be missing something. Danny hasn't treated Lindsay badly, he just hasn't treated her the way she thinks she should be treated. There's a big difference.
Loving someone also doesn't mean that you allow them to ignore you or hurt you just because they're grieving. What Danny is doing is beyond any normal or healthy grief, and to allow him to wallow in it is not beneficial to anyone, least of all him.
As for LRC, Danny was persistent to the point of aggravating Lindsay. Even his comment about grabbing lunch felt and sounded like a manipulation to get Lindsay to do what he wanted. And Lindsay was honest with Danny about the prospects of a romance between them, something Danny hasn't quite grasped yet, apparently.
Danny didn't go to Lindsay for comfort. That's not the same thing as not being honest. Him making lame excuses for not having lunch with her is not being dishonest. It's plausible he did do the errands he mentioned between the time Rikki left and his shift started. We don't know the status of their relationship, so him not telling her about Rikki isn't proven to be dishonest although it may be in a future episode.
No, not going to Lindsay for comfort is not dishonest. Lame excuses for not going to lunch with her is dishonest, especially since it's not shown on camera and is therefore not canon. That's how you view it, right? So we can't assume anything that is not on camera, especially since there was absolutely no implication on-screen that showed that Danny had done any errands.
What we do know is that immediately after Danny brushed Lindsay off he slept with Rikki...again. Omission of truth is not an entire lie, but it's not exactly honest, is it?
We don't have an "official" status on the relationship from Danny's perspective, no. However, the fact that he is now pursuing Lindsay again is quite telling. "Why don't you come over here and tell me..." wasn't just a friendly invitation to have ice cream and watch a movie.
How was he not honest with Rikki? They both clearly stated why they slept together and what their relationship was. Again, we don't know the status of Lindsay and Danny's relationship so not mentioning Lindsay to Rikki isn't dishonest. He doesn't need to give the names and numbers of every woman he's slept with in order to sleep with Rikki.
When he's breaking up with Rikki, he tells her he's "Starting to think..." that what they are doing isn't a good idea. Really? You're just starting to think about that Danny? Considering that a good week or more has passed since Lindsay declared her love for him and he's been trying to talk to her ever since gives me a not-so-nice picture of what Danny has been doing.
Either he's been sleeping with Rikki while pursuing Lindsay again, or he shut Rikki out in order to try to get back with Lindsay. Either way, I'm not impressed with what he's doing, and I find it to be dishonest.
But if you put it in the context of what was happening he wasn't that out of line by thinking she was making a big deal out of nothing. He forgot her birthday and declined a lunch invitation. That is hardly a reason for her to act visibly pissed off at him and unprofessional in front of their co-workers. She doesn't know about Rikki, and we have no indication that Danny saw his and Lindsay's relationship as a committed one, so he may not feel guilty about sleeping with Rikki. In his mind her reaction based on their interactions up to that point was out of line, so he calls her on it. I don't see anything too terribly wrong with that.
If he had only missed her birthday and begged out of lunch, I would tend to agree. But it's more than that, and I don't know how you can forget it. Lindsay even tells Danny what the problem is; and it's been an on-going issue since "Child's Play". The missed birthday and the lunch are just the tip of the iceberg for Lindsay.
What it boils down to is that Lindsay realizes that[FONT="] she is not important enough in Danny's life for him to have turned to her at all. She tells him that she never expected him to not grieve. She knows what he's going through to a certain extent. She did what he wanted, which was to give him space. She stood back and waited. And waited. And he didn't turn to her, in fact ignored her. He forgot her and he purposely tried to hurt her by acting like she was being unreasonable with him.
Even with the terrible grief Danny is feeling, he shouldn't be allowed to say or do whatever he pleases "just because". He's going in a downward spiral and hopefully Lindsay telling him that his actions are not right will snap him out of it before he totally self-destructs.
