From the Mouth of High School

This happened when i was in 6th grade in Math class
Teacher: Elliott do you have gum?"
Elliott: No.....
Teacher: whats in ur mouth?
Elliott: Gum....


Most people last year said "Who pee'd in the ice machine?" yes that actually happened!
there were lots of moments like this from a few girls in particular, i cant remember them all right now but here are a few:
in history class, the teacher is explaining how intercontinental missiles can go between continents in minutes.
blonde girl #1 says "then why dont we ride on those instead of planes?"
same class right after 9/11 first happened, same blonde girl #1 says "if they knew the planes were going into the buildings why didnt they just stop them?"
teacher says "what were they supposed to do, get a big net?"

in physics class we were doing optics and talking about how glasses work.
blonde girl #2 says "then how do contacts work?"
teacher says "the same way as glasses"
blonde girl #2 says "but arent they made of metal?"
we also had 'the like count' for blonde girl #2, of how many times she said 'like' in one class. during a debate in english class, about an hour long, she got up to 50 likes!
GeorgeEadsLover said:
This happened when i was in 6th grade in Math class
Teacher: Elliott do you have gum?"
Elliott: No.....
Teacher: whats in ur mouth?
Elliott: Gum....


My brother had similar situation. This is about his friend
English Teacher: OP! Are you chewing gum!?
OP: No
English Teacher: Then what extra do you have in your mouth!?
OP: Tongue and teeth

:lol: this brings back so many memories.

On the topic of gum..

Me: Hey Sherine.. do you want gum?
Sherine: Oh my god YES!
Me: me too.

(I did it like 40 times, she never learns *shakes head in disgust*)

When I moved to Lebanon I went to an Evangelical private school with American System where we had our own teachers, other than those the Lebanese system had. One of our teachers was an American lady that came to Lebanon for some reason, and she was our English Workshop teacher right? Well since she spoke no arabic, one of the guys in my class, Siraj, decided to be witty.. So we were sittin in class one day and Miss Karen had been yelling at everyone to quiet down so she can give us our homework assignment, so Siraj stood up and said in a really loud voice (in arabic):

Siraj: And then, when everyone else was silent, the donkey spoke the following words...

Miss Karen: I need your journal's in by tomorrow... *insert hysterical laughter - class falls off chairs*
oh i have a gum one too, does every high school have someone that makes a stupid comment about gum? :lol:
in music class the teacher notices a flute player has been chewing gum while playing
teacher: are you chewing gum?
flute player: yes..........why? do you want me to spit it out?

im still not sure how she managed to play with a wad of gum in her mouth :lol:
I have loads of those kind of lines, but I can't remember 'em now. When I remember them, I'll post them. :D

Here's one;

My last year's mentor is married to another teacher at school, and my friend was in an other class last year, but he's in the same class now, so when we got our schedules, we were talking loudly about the guy she's married too, I really don't know why. So my friend was like:

"Mr Casteleijn is such a dork."
*Mr Casteleijn walks in*

Luckily he didn't hear it :lol:
From my journal of high schoolers' quotes...
In Science
"There's popcorn in here somewhere. See, popcorn." "Are you kidding me? She's got a freakin' refridgerator in her backpack!"- Brittany and Dustin H.

From my oh-so-thoughtfull Geometry class
"Look ma, we got bacon for a month!"- Spencer
"If you eat Mexican food, then you have gas."- Matt
"The other class coudn't come up with anything creative..." "Yeah, well, I've seen that class, I wouldn't expect it."- the teacher and Blake
"So if Shelby goes to the bathroom then Lynlee goes to the bathroom, and if Lynlee goes to the bathroom then Jana goes to the bathroom. So if Shelby goes to the bathroom so does Jana. Do you understand the Law of Syllogism?" "Yes, the bathroom will be very crowded." - the teacher and Blake
"Joe-mom-atry? Is that what you said?"- Matt
"Do you think the 7th graders have ate the photographer yet?"- Blake
"I don't like you." "I don't know why anyone would like me."- the teacher and Blake
"Here's the National Honor Society list." "Matt...Matt...Matt." "Matt's not on here anymore." "What an ugly, psychotic piece of crap!"- the teacher and Matt
"I can wear whatever I want! If I wanna wear a mini-skirt, I can!" "Amen!" - John and Blake
"What is that? Oh, it's a woman." - Matt
"What if you're me and don't have any friends?" "Then you don't belong in this example." - Blake and the teacher
"Matt, how may situations have we been in where we lost an article of clothing?" "Several, buddy, several." "And surprisingly nothing illegal was going on." - Blake and Matt
"John, there's your mom outside. They're stepping on something and laughing."- Sierra

Quotes from history
"I wondered why I couldn't read this. 'Is this, like, another language?' It's Spanish." - Kayla
"While you're testing, I've got to think up new ways to be mean to the 7th graders." - The teacher
"I'm being mean to my 7th graders at the moment. Let me have my fun." - the teacher
"My favorite class is 7th period." "What grade is that?" "My prep period."- The teacher and Sierra
"We're your favorite class for sure." "Oh yeah, you're right up there with Attila the Hun." - Josh and the teacher

Oral Communications Quotes
"Did he just call her [the teacher] Marylin?" "She looks like Marylin Manson." "Ha ha, Marylin!"- Eric and Adam
"What's your favorite song that you've performed in concert?" "Concert?" "Yeah, Marylin!"- Adam, the teacher and Eric
"Can I have a dictionary to mess with?"- Jeremiah
"If you're a gangsta then you'll know what it means to 'bust a cap'."- the teacher
"Anybody know what sublanguage is?" "Language from the suburbs. Speak it in the 'hood." - The teacher and Eric
"So Justin's got a beard. Doesn't that mean he's covering up his gay-ness?" "It's not working."- the teacher and Kendra
"Justin, bring back the beard." "I'm not Justin. I now go by Moses." "Moses, bring back the beard." "More like Noses." - the teacher, Justin aka Nose (wearing a fake beard) and Dustin L.
"Aaron believes in leprechauns. He sees them and they tell him things. But every time you say they aren't real, one of them dies." "Then stop saying that!"- Alan and Aaron

My One funny Spanish Quote
"Yeah, I have this wierd thing about me, when I see open books I tell people to open them."- the teacher

And from the mouths of our school's great philosophers...
"This whole class leads up to the test. If you fail the test, then you fail school; if you fail school, then you fail in life; and if you fail in life, then you become a dead-beat and your parents hate you!"- Matt about geometry

"I'll tell you what this is all leading to...robot communism. They'll turn us all into robots and it'll be communist. And I'm calling my senator." "Do you even know who your senator is?" "Some fat, gay guy." - Blake and Matt

Yeah, that's what passes as philosophy around here...
A couple of weeks ago in first period , our ceiling started to crack because the overhead projector was broken. The school janitor told us not to touch it but a couple of days ago, Andrue and Kelly (2 of the kids in our class) started touching it and the ceiling started to crack even more so our teacher Mrs. Clearman is letting us wear these blue hard hats and we do daily drills of what to do if the ceiling falls.
Language Arts:

"There is this boy giraffe and a girl giraffe, and they see each other and they really like each other. And they do this (makes weird hand motions)." Joey (this was him asking if there was anything inapropriate about the Dead Poet's Society. He thought kissing was inapropriate, for the love of Pete. Anyway he is just an oddball)

Alg II/Trig Honors:

"Now what have I said about switching on to decaf?" Tyler (our teacher has a tendency to get overexcited. Tyler used to make comments about switching to decaf all the time before he left.)
I haven't been in high school in over five years... but one thing I do remember about it was our Family Living class. We took it over ITV - which is basically a video camera/TV set up. Anyway, I don't know if the teacher was just dense or if she really didn't care - either way it was so easy to skip out of that class

(let me stop here and explain this to you, when your a senior you get privlages if you keep your gpa up. Like leaving early if you had a last period study hall or coming in late if you had a first period study hall, cutting in the dinner line, skipping out on one midterm if your average in that class was higher then 93% - you get the idea)

So there were four towns (itty bitty towns) with a grand total of about 35 kids taking this class, but personally the group at my school only had like...6. So after the first 15 minutes, the teacher would give us our assingments and tell us to get to work. And swear to God, almost every single day I'd raise my hand and ask to use the computer, which was off camera to the left. She'd always say that was fine and I'd head over in that direction but then turn around and duck underneath the camera and leave the room.

I was told that only once did she ever ask where I went. And my classmates just said, "She's over by the computer!"

And another girl picked up the mic and said "I'm still here!" And that was that.

Never once did I get into trouble, never once did she catch on realize that I wasn't in the room. I'd skip out and head home an hour and a half before everyone else... almost everyday. (The 45 minutes of class + the 60 minutes of my last period study hall) And I never got into trouble.

And to think I graduated with honors... :p
"How do you spell 'rassle'?" "'Rassle?' First off, the word is wrestle.'How do you spell 'rassle?'[In an exaggerated Southern accent]" - Brittany and Dustin

"Do the teachers set in the teachers' lounge and say 'how can we mess Blake over today?, because every time I have a test, I have like six of 'em!"- Blake
"I've never seen anybody snap an Expo marker, but you were close." - Matt
"And then I do that and draw a pretty picture...and there's my answer."- Matt

Oral Comm
"What's for lunch today?" "Mad cow!!!"- Adam and Eric
"There he goes, the green onion man."- the teacher about the man mowing outside
"I don't see how people can look at your signature and say, 'oh, you must be an athlete!' and you weigh, like, 400 pounds."- Eric

"Don't ya'll feel the love?" "Yes we do. You like stirring the pot, don't you, senorita?" "Yes, I do."- Brittany and the teacher
"If all the guys left and we wanted to say that we were smart, that would be..." "A lie."- the teacher and Josh

And...try and follow this one
"I've just figured out a conspiracy!"- Blake
"I don't want to hear it."- the teacher
"No, wait!"- Blake
"Evan?"- the teacher
"When did they outlaw bingo?"- Evan
What was going on here?...and this was in geometry of all classes. :lol:
Great thread! I have people like this in my class, too. Well, actually we have like a million.

We actually have a guy in our class who thinks he's being stalked by a janitor. He'll flip through pages of a dictionary, and then say, "The janitor is hiding in the pages of this book! He's going to get me!" And he's not kidding.

I can't think of any really funny stories off of the top of my head, but I'm sure I'll think of some. I have some crazy friends!
Wow, this is a great thread. Believe it or not we've actually been keeping a quote book at our school for the past couple of years, we're a crazy bunch. Here are some of the highlights for the day:

"I hate gel deodorant, that stuff feels like someone's licking your armpit!" - Ashley

"The handbook says that you're allowed 3 bathroom passes for each quarter....but thats not true, once I have you in here I don't let you back out" - AP History Teacher

"Just to let you guys know...I broke my zipper today. I was in the bathroom and it just snapped. You happens." - Computer teacher

"Oompa loompa diggity doo, I have a question for you." - Mark

"There are no ingredients on this bottle." - Sam
"...It's water." - Meghan
"Ooooh" - Sam
AngelWearinJeans said:
"I hate gel deodorant, that stuff feels like someone's licking your armpit!" - Ashley

Oh my gosh, that reminds me, we had one guy dare another to lick his deoderant... after he put it on... after he ran a mile. And the disgusting thing is that HE DID IT! I was totally disgusted!