Favorite Quotes

Discussion in 'CSI: Crime Scene Investigation' started by addictedtoSpeed, Jun 4, 2008.

  1. Greg's hot baby

    Greg's hot baby Dead on Arrival

    Sep 17, 2008
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    In 'A Bullet Runs Through It (2)'

    (Talking about the shell casings/bullets Greg recovered during the pursuit)
    Grissom: Only AK ammo? No police cartridges or bullets?
    Greg: Not one out of 233 items. But cops don't get to shoot car-to-car, only bad guys do, right?
    Hodges (walks in): Oh, hey, Greg, been on vacation? Look, I know the UnderSheriff's on your back so I figured I get to you quick.
    Grissom: Okay, you got to me.
    Hodges: Found red clay chips and dust in the gouges on Ricardo Estevez's .45. (hands him the results) He was the guy that was in the east alley with Brass.
    Grissom: Red clay chips?
    Hodges: Trace is consistant with roofing tiles, and clay pots.
    Greg: Who keeps a gun in a clay pot?
    Hodges: That would be no one. (Greg rolls his eyes face) In a crisis you can always count on me. (leaves)
    Greg: Doesn't he bug you?
    Grissom: No more so than anyone else around here.

    It is so funny when Hodges walks in and ask Greg if he has been on vacation :p I laugh at it everytime.

    Also in 'Face Lift'

    Nick: "Do you have the results on the swab yet?"
    Greg: "Uh ..."
    Nick: "Uh... from the dead guy at the pottery store? The coroner sent over a sample. You were supposed to analyze the mineral content."
    Greg: "Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. Grissom has just been running me around like a lapdog. I haven't had a chance."
    Nick: "Grissom's on a missing persons-- he hasn't sent you anything."
    Greg: "Did I say Grissom? No, I meant Catherine."
    Nick: "Oh, yeah. Catherine's working with me."
    Greg: "Oh. Well, what do you say we check out that swab then, huh?"

    Also a very fun quote
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2009
  2. Cammagher_4

    Cammagher_4 Civilian

    Jan 7, 2009
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    Hi Im New To This
    Just Thought I Would Drop By And Tell You Some Of My Favorite Quotes :)

    [Dr. Robbins has received a human head in the mail]
    [Grissom walks into the room]
    Grissom : I heard you got some head

    Greg : Bringing back a semen sample... I analyzed this and found your DNA.
    Nick : That was quick.
    Greg : No jokes about my being fast in this department.
    Nick : Hah.

    Not Sure Is These Have Already Been Posted But They Make Me Laugh
  3. Drumchik

    Drumchik Captain

    Oct 1, 2003
    Likes Received:
    Here's some more:

    SOFIA: Banana peel ... g-string ... (she lifts it up) ... scared of that.

    SOFIA: I can barely move in this dress and we haven't cleared the bathroom yet, so there it is. Don't worry, I'm wearing underwear. As far as you know.

    SOFIA: I wasn't chasing the suspect. I was chasing the evidence. I knew the idiot was likely to dump the gun.
    -No Humans Involved

    SOFIA: It took me a long time to get where I was, Sara. Now I feel like I'm starting from scratch. I miss sleeping at night. I miss my colleagues. I miss ...
    SARA: What?
    SOFIA: Being trusted.
    -No Humans Involved

    Catherine: I must have missed that day at CPR class where the first thing you find in a first aid kit is a gun

    [FONT=&quot]Catherine[/FONT][FONT=&quot]: We restore peace of mind. And when you're a victim, that's everything. Stick with it out. At least until you solve your first. And after that, if you don't feel like King Kong on cocaine, then you can quit. But if you stay, with my right hand to God, you will never regret it.[/FONT] - Pilot

    Doc Robbins: The leg was severed post - mortem.
    Catherine: Well, that's good news.
    Doc Robbins: How do you figure?
    Catherine: Would you want to be alive while your leg's being cut off?

    - Pledging Mr Johnson.

    Gil: We told them what happened.
    Catherine: Yeah. But we didn't give them what they needed - closure.
    Gil: Truth brings closure.
    Catherine: Not always.

    - Chaos Theory

    Grissom: You showered
    Catherine: Thanks for noticing Gil, you're very observant
    - Chaos Theory

    Grissom: What does that look like?
    Catherine: A five foot eleven workaholic
    - Chaos Theory

    Catherine: Hey, Coffee Boy. Where's my DNA? Cigarette butt, matchbook time-delay device, hairspray. Any of this sound familiar?
    Greg: Bags under the eyes, coffee cup, stress face. Any of this look familiar?
    - Scuba Doobie Doo

    Will do more later :D
  4. HipHuggers#1Fan

    HipHuggers#1Fan Rookie

    Jan 17, 2009
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    Here are some of my favorite Rileyisms:

    Riley: How do we know Cora wasn't packing? The father of her son was a gangster, she was living with a gangster, I wouldn't put it past her.
    Grissom: Well, let's see. (grabs the vic's jeans)
    Riley: Most woman's clothes don't have a place to hide a gun, that's uh, what purses are for.
    Riley(to shrink): Do you think I should quit?
    Riley(to David): I saw what you did and I'm never going to forget it.
    Riley(to Secretary): What no gun?
    Secretary: Sorry.
    Riley(sighs): Maybe later.
    Riley(to Greg): I think you're more of the hair-pulling type.

    That's all I remember for now I will have to look up the rest.
  5. NightWitch

    NightWitch Hit and Run

    Feb 13, 2009
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    Wow! :wtf: I can't wait to get through this entire thread!!! :thumbsup: I've been watching CSI for several years, but I only just started jotting down all the funny one-liners from the show recently, so I don't have that many. My favorite one-liner is in my sig. Here are the rest I managed to collect (sorry if some have been said already - I haven't had a chance to read this whole thread yet). :cool:

    Gil Grissom: I can't tell whether he's brilliant or nuts.
    Captain Jim Brass: Sound familiar?

    [after telling Grissom something that he already knows.]
    Greg Sanders: I guess I should stop trying to impress you.
    Grissom: That would impress me.

    [Grissom admits to a mistake]
    Nick Stokes: It's just that most people don't admit to being wrong.
    Grissom: I'm wrong all the time. It's how I get to "right".

    Grissom: A Harvard professor conducted an experiment. Asked a bunch of students to watch a basketball game - count the number of times the ball was passed.
    Brass: Yeah? Groundbreaking.
    Grissom: During the game a person dressed in a gorilla suit ran across the court. Afterward, the professor asked the students if they noticed the gorilla. Fifty percent responded, "what gorilla?"
    Brass: That's wonderful, Gil. If I see a gorilla, I'll arrest it.

    Sara Sidle: Is there truly no place left in Las Vegas without slot machines?

    Grissom: He's wearing a wig... and a fat suit. Is it Samhain?
    Catherine Willows: In this town, it's always Samhain.

    Lawyer: You took your clothes off for a living?
    Willows: For a very good living.

    Robbins: Hand me that foot, would you?

    Grissom: Are we paying you by the word?

    Grissom: Sometimes I can be a little thoughtless.
    Willows: I wouldn't say that. Not just any guy would walk a girl to the morgue.

    Grissom: What you do on your time is your business. What you do on my time is my business.

    [after Greg kicks him out of the lab]
    Brown: Did you take your medication today?

    Greg: All work and no play makes Greg a dull boy.
    Grissom: All play and no work makes Greg an unemployed boy.

    Grissom: Amazing how the sight of blood can clear a room.

    Stokes: There's a sucker born every minute.
    Grissom: Yeah, and they all come to Vegas.

    [after she has fallen onto the victims' blood]
    Willows: Don't touch me - I'm evidence.

    [to Grissom upon seeing a bug]
    Willows: Hey, look at that… your six-legged soul mate.

    Sidle: You made my pickle into a light bulb?

    [to a recalcitrant suspect]
    Brass: Newsflash. You can't make a deal if you keep your mouth shut.

    Sidle: So what is it?
    Hodges: Give me some time, I'm not a miracle worker.
    Sidle: Well, that's obvious, Hodges, or else you wouldn't be rude.
    Hodges: I wasn't being rude, I was being curt. Rude would be "When I know, you'll know." Friends?
    Sidle: No.

    Greg: Hey Catherine, you think Sara would go to dinner with me?
    Willows: Sure, as long as you don't tell her it's a date.

    Grissom: Most mammals only copulate seasonally.
    Willows: How boring.

    Brass: What are you doing after work?
    Grissom: More work.

    [trying to pick an uninterested Catherine up for dinner]
    Chris Bezich: So, what are you in the mood for?
    Willows: Room service.

    Brass: [to a suspect] Nice stare. Too bad it doesn't work on me. Keep it though - they'll love it in prison.

    [talking to a suspect about a broken mirror at the crime scene]
    Sidle: You know that's seven years bad luck.
    Brass: More like seven to ten.

    Brass: [an accused perp bends over to be searched] You better save that position for later, you'll need it where you're going.

    Grissom: My bugs are my babies, my children.

    Lieutenant: Dave, drop your donut! You're gonna be earning your pay today.

    Stokes: [to a suspect with a cut on his forehead] Did you cut yourself shaving or were you just thinking too hard?

    [Dr. Robbins has received a human head in the mail; Grissom walks into the room]
    Grissom: I heard you got some head.

    Greg: I am a genius.
    Warrick Brown: Let me guess, you ran the DNA and got a hit?
    Greg: No.
    Grissom: You ran the DNA and something distinctive came up?
    Greg: No.
    Warrick: You rolled out of bed and managed to dress yourself?

    Willows: Hey, you.
    Warrick: Hey.
    Willows: How uh... are you holding up?
    Warrick: I'm fine.
    Willows: You sure?
    Brown: Yeah.
    Willows: ...you're in the women's bathroom.

    [Julian Harper, a movie star, is found dead of a drug overdose]
    Stokes: Julian Harper? Isn't he supposed to be the next Brad Pitt?
    Warrick: Yeah. Now, he's the next River Phoenix.

    Warrick: Who brings a gun to a knife fight?
    Grissom: The winner?

    Grissom: I tend not to believe people - they lie. The evidence never lies.

    Suspect: What about me? I’m out $350.
    Jim Brass: You’ll live.
    [same conversation, a bit later.]
    Suspect: Is there a reward?
    Jim Brass: Shut up.

    Construction worker: These casinos weren’t built by saints, you know.
    Catherine Willows: I know. My dad built this one.

    [Brass is interrogating a very religious suspect]
    Jim Brass: If you think I’m gonna believe that, you have a lot more faith than I thought.
    [same conversation, a bit later.]
    Jim Brass: Enough with the Sunday school bull.

    Suspect: Don’t I get a reward?
    Jim Brass: Yeah… you get to leave.

    Jim Brass: An “innocent man”. Jail's full of 'em.

    Jim Brass: I hate going out to lunch with you CSI’s. You notice everything.

    Jim Brass: On behalf of the State of Nevada, my apologies. You've been cleared of all charges.
    Criminal: It took three of you to tell me that?
    Jim Brass: But ... on behalf of the State of Texas you're under arrest. You're being extradited for the murder of Lana Grimshaw.

    Jim Brass: You know between you and me, as long as I've been on the job I still don't like touching dead bodies.
    Warrick Brown: Well, that's why you got the badge and I got the syringe.

    Jim Brass: [regarding a husband and wife murder case] Haven't these people ever heard of divorce?

    Jim Brass: Were there any disturbances last night? Did you hear screams?
    Lady Heather: [dominatrix, who runs a sex business out of a house] It's when I don't hear screams that I start to worry.

    Jim Brass: Well, then can you tell us what time Mona got off?
    Lady Heather: [dominatrix, who runs a sex business out of a house] Knowing Mona, every couple of hours. She enjoyed her work.

    Jim Brass: [investigating a murder at a strip club] Never underestimate the power of the ass.

    Nick Stokes: Crime scene at a funeral… can’t get any deader than this.

    Sara Sidle: [meeting Catherine Willows for the first time] Do you know where I can find Catherine Willows?
    Catherine Willows: She’s out in the field.
    […. During the same conversation…]
    Catherine Willows: Sara Sidle?
    Sara Sidle: I know who I am – I think you’re a little confused.

    Suspect: How can I help you?
    Grissom: I’d like to give you a pedicure.

    Sidle: Gruesome, Grissom.

    Grissom: [to Catherine about his pet tarantula] You scared him – all his hairs are standing up.

    Stokes: What did you find out?
    Willows: Heavy on BS; zippo on truth.


    Grissom: Relationship? I hardly know the woman.
    Willows: Oh, so I guess that dopey look in your eye when she’s around is just that.

    Sidle: This is the vagina – and it does tell a monologue.

    Willows: Who’s this?
    Brass: Mr. Braun’s squeeze… she’s an ex-stripper too. Perhaps you two met in a professional capacity.

    [Greg refuses to share his expensive, special coffee despite the fact that he’s making it at the office.]
    Grissom: [his boss, who pours the coffee anyway] You’re using my water, so I guess that makes it community coffee. Want a cup, Nick?

    Greg: Did I tell you I used to live in New York?
    Grissom: Is this gonna be a short story or a novel?

    Stokes: It’s easier to get a Master’s degree than a parking spot on campus.

    [An autopsy reveals non-nutritive substances in a victim’s suspect. You must know what pica is to get this one.]
    Grissom: [making a conjecture] Pica?
    Doc: Boo?
  6. GregNickRyanFan

    GregNickRyanFan Holographic Moderator Moderator

    May 16, 2008
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    Greg (to Warrick): Connect the dots, buddy-boy. :lol:

    Cath: The canary diamond.
    Sara: Wanna bet the birdie sings in the key of gsr?

    [Grissom and Sara walk in to the trace lab and see Hodges filling in his grey hairs with a black magic marker :lol: ]
    Grissom: Vanity, thy name is Hodges. :guffaw:

    Greg (to Grissom): Right-o, Daddy-o. :D
  7. Smokey

    Smokey Nickaholic Moderator

    May 11, 2007
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    From the new season... :)

    Ray (to Nick about a case): Did you catch the guy who did it?
    Nick: Yeah...yeah we did eventually.
    Ray: Then that's a good story.

    Brass: Look, all brothers fight. I threw my brother through a screen door. He broke a bowl of oatmeal on my head.

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