Thanks for the kind words.
I'll be updating shortly so sit tight for a bit longer.
EDIT: Here is the update.
Sometimes I Wish It Was You
[Hummerhome]
Speed: Eric toothpicks are not the offspring of trees.
Delko: Don't they come from trees?
Speed: Not directly.
Delko: But they do come from trees.
Speed: So do doors.
Delko: Not plastic ones.
Speed: The wooden ones.
Delko: Some wood is fake.
Speed: The non-fake wooden doors.
Delko: So if a house burns down, and the house is made entirely of wood, isn't that a forest fire?
Speed: There has to be a forest for a forest fire.
Delko: That was a lot of F's.
Speed: Yeah you want a few more F's for your vocabulary?
Katie: Tim.
Speed: Sorry.
Katie: Be nice.
Speed: If I was nice, the planet would explode.
Katie: You're nice to victims.
Speed: I wouldn't want to make their day any worse.
Katie: That's very sweet.
Speed: Actually its the rules. You can't be mean to victims. It's morally wrong.
Katie: Oh.
Delko: You don't have morals.
Speed: Yes I do.
Delko: Name one.
Speed: Being nice to victims.
Delko: ...Besides that.
Speed: Why don't you eat some more toilet paper and shut up.
Delko: *frowns*
Katie: Tim, be a little nicer.
Speed: Make me.
Katie: *grabs Speed by the ear*
Speed: OW! OW! OW!
Katie: Be. Nicer.
Speed: OW! Hey Eric you want a beer?
Delko: Sure.
Katie: *lets go*
Speed: *rubs ear* Ow.
Delko: How about that beer?
Speed: *throws beer*
Delko: Ow. That was my head.
Speed: *frowns* I know.
Delko: Why did you do that?
Speed: It's either hit you or hit my wife and I'd prefer to hit you.
Katie: ...You want to hit me?
Speed: No.
Katie: Oh.
Delko: That's not fair. You can hit me in the head with a beer but you're not aloud to hit a girl?
Speed: Another one of my morals.
Katie: Um....AFRICA.
Speed: I did not hit you in Africa.
Katie: Aww I was still your girlfriend in Africa.
Speed: What's your point?
Katie: I don't know. It seems cooler to be called your girlfriend as opposed to your wife.
Speed: Um...I'd rather not tell my parents I knocked up my girlfriend twice and oh by the way she happens to be WAY younger than me.
Katie: Oh can I meet your parents?
Speed: No.
Katie: Never?
Speed: Maybe when you're older.
Katie: *frowns*
Horatio: Hey Speed your dad still owes me 100 bucks.
Speed: Why?
Horatio: I told him you'd make it into the academy and he said no way so I made a bet.
Speed: You bet on my career?
Horatio: We're going to New York.
Speed: No no no. No. You are not harassing my parents.
Horatio: I wonder if your mother will bake another one of those chocolate cakes.
Speed: Horatio we're not going to New York.
Katie: Can we please go? PLEASE?
Horatio: Okay so we're taking a side-trip to New York. If anyone commits any crimes, run up to the border fast because I don't want to work with the New York CSIs.
JC: What's wrong with them?
Horatio: They think I'm one of them.
Speed: Horatio...Turn this thing around.
Horatio: I've made up my mind. This is your punishment for using my time for fun and games.
Speed: *angry sigh*
Katie: Aww I can't wait to meet your parents.
Delko: Man I wanna meet his brother.
Speed: Oh God. *covers eyes*
Calleigh: Hey Tim don't your parents own a mansion?
Speed: Uh...No what are you talking about?
Calleigh: Yeah they own a mansion. It's that really big one on 35th and 7th ave.
Katie: Your parents are rich? Oh my God this is awesome.
Speed: No it's not awesome.
Katie: Oh they can't be THAT bad.
Speed: I haven't spoken to them in ten years.
Katie: So?
Speed: So they won't like me and a bunch of yahoos showing up at their door.
Katie: It'll be fun.
Calleigh: Yeah and besides, they would probably be happy to see you after all these years.
Speed: If anyone breaks ANYTHING in that house, they're dead.
Delko: Hey what kind of toilet paper do they use?
Speed: *frowns*
TBC.........