Heh, see what happens when you don't read?
Kidding of course.
RL hacks its way into everyone's lives and if it's not RL it's just lack of interest really, lol. There are some times I look at this thread and go "Ugh let it finish already."
But I can't! I'm anal and I need 10 threads. :lol:
******************
Africa, middle of field
Colton: Eric what are you doing?
Delko: Making a new Hummerhome.
Colton: Out of twigs?
Delko: Shh. I'm trying to make this work. *grabs glue and gum from pockets* I need a Hummerhome, I'm sick of huts.
Anni: Where did you get glue?
Delko: *looks at Anni* My pocket.
Anni: *lifts brow*
Delko: Duh. *goes back to work*
Colton: Stop, please. You're embarassing us. I think those hippos down there are laughing.
Delko: OH MY GOD THERE ARE HIPPOS?! *hugs Colton* THEY EAT MEAT! I'M MADE OF MEAT!
Heather: Okay so how is this 'Hummerhome' supposed to run if there's no engine?
Delko: We'll pedal.
Heather: With what?
Delko: *rolls eyes* Pedals. Work with me people.
Anni: Won't this blow over on the highway?
Delko: No, it's going to be held together with gum and glue. You ever notice those are the only two things that ever survive tornadoes?
Colton: Um yeah besides people, sure.
Delko: *shrugs* I've never been in a tornado.
Lilly: I don't think I've ever seen glue or gum anywhere after a tornado. I see a lot of overturned cars though.
Lora: Yeah that and fat people wearing moo moos.
Ryan: Don't forget little kids and their teddies.
Delko: STOP! I don't want to know about the little kids and their teddies. It makes me cry.
Anni: I see a lot of toilets too. Just sitting there all lonely.
Delko: Don't. I'm already choked up enough as it is.
Twig snaps
Delko: DAMNIT! *sigh* This is impossible.
Horatio: See this is why we should be building my Hummerail.
Colton: No one wants a Hummerail.
Horatio: Yes sir.
Colton: STOP IT. You're in charge. You wear the badge, you shop at an evil version of Wal-Mart that only sells black and your bright hair reminds small children of Ronald McDonald which seems to soothe them. So stop acting like an idiot and be in charge. You're frickin' Horatio Caine.
Horatio: ....I remind small children of Ronald McDonald?
Delko: A lot of people sure think you're a clown.
Horatio: *frowns*
Delko: AH! HE HAS POWER AGAIN! *hugs Colton*
Horatio: *puts on shades* Damn straight. *walks away*
Ryan: Just once I'd like to see him say that at a crime scene.
Delko: Definitely.
Miami Lab, Ballistics
Calleigh: *looking through microscope*
Stetler: *walks in* Detective.
Calleigh: *lifts head* Agent Stetler.
Stetler: You've been left in charge, correct?
Calleigh: So Horatio tells me.
Stetler: So there's a reason why Speedle isn't in charge despite his rank over you.
Calleigh: Horatio felt I could handle the job. Besides, rank doesn't affect anything. We're both capable.
Stetler: But there
is a reason.
Calleigh: That is the reason.
Stetler: See I think it's because the man's a short circuit ready to spark into flames. And his daughter is the same way. I don't want both of them in my lab.
Calleigh: With all due respect, it's not your lab. This lab belongs to the victims and their families.
Stetler: I was threatened with an 'ass-kicking' as he so eloquently put it. Do you believe this is the professional way to regard those higher up in ranks?
Calleigh: No I don't.
Stetler: By the way, I think you would agree that office relationships aren't very professional either.
Calleigh: *stares at Stetler*
Stetler: Seems this lab has a management problem. I'm sure the victims and their families appreciate the level of idiocy at work.
Calleigh: I don't know what you mean.
Stetler: Eric Delko. Loose lips around these parts, which evidently is another problem. IAB's takin' a harder look at this lab and things just keep poppin' up.
Calleigh: What do you want.
Stetler: I'm placing Speedle on suspension for review and you're going to cooperate by providing your signature.
Calleigh: And if I don't?
Stetler: If you don't, your career has been very short-lived. You and Delko can live out your days on welfare.
Calleigh: Then so be it because I'm not helping you ruin someone else's career.
Stetler: I'm going to sift through every problem here and pretty soon the loss of your job is going to be the least of your problems. Think about it. *leaves*
Calleigh: *takes out cellphone*
Trace Lab
Stetler: *walks in*
Speed: *pulls paper out of printer*
Stetler: Important case?
Speed: They're all important.
Stetler I bet. So, no hard feelings about that little threat earlier. We're all human, tempers flare especially when it involves the people we love.
Speed: *nods*
Stetler: So let's just have talk. You know, as guys. Just shootin' the breeze.
Speed: *typing*
Stetler: That Calleigh Duquesne's quite the pistol huh.
Speed: She's good at her job.
Stetler: I know how tightly-knit you CSIs are with each other. Especially her and Eric Delko. I think there might be something going on between them.
Speed: So your job is to follow gossip now. That's super detective work.
Stetler: *laughs* Come on, you don't think there's anything going on between them?
Speed: What's this about?
Stetler: Well I hear Miss Duquesne is going to sign off on your suspension.
Speed: Suspension?
Stetler: Must have been hard, her being placed in charge over you. She holds all the cards and doesn't need an excuse to deal them.
Speed: She's a very capable woman.
Stetler: Yes, a woman who's going to put your career on the chopping block. Women can be so bitter when they think a man wants their job.
Speed: I don't want her job.
Stetler: Mhm. Besides, she doesn't think you'd make a very good leader anyway. I must say, she has a LOT of dirt on you. But you can get to her first, all you need to do is tell me the truth. Y'know, about her and Delko.
Speed: She doesn't talk about her personal life with me.
Stelter: Oh come on. The best friend between the two? You would be quite the buffer.
Speed: It's none of my business if she's screwing around with Delko.
Stetler: Is that anger I detect? Maybe jelously?
Speed: I have a lot of work to get back to, if you wouldn't mind.
Stetler: Okay. It would just be a shame if you couldn't support that 'other' woman because you lost your job. Katie? I think her name is? Keeping quiet about an office relationship is one thing but dippin' into the county funds to support an ex-wife is quite another.
Speed: *lifts head*
Stetler: Even more of an excuse for Calleigh to get you out of the professional picture. I wonder if she has any free time to chat.
Speed: Wait.
Stetler: *turns around*
Speed: ...Calleigh and Eric are seeing each other.
Stetler: See? Now that wasn't so hard. *leaves*
Hallway, two hours later
Calleigh: *walks over* Tim.
Speed: *walking* Yeah.
Calleigh: *glaring* Thanks, I just got canned by Stetler. Three week suspension pending an investigation. I can't
believe you told him about Eric and I.
Speed: Really because I heard you're opting for my suspension. I was just put on notice. But hey, at least for your last stint as boss, you can be as bitter as you want.
Calleigh: *stops walking* What?
Speed: I don't want your job.
Calleigh: *lifts brow* Tim, I never placed you on notice.
Speed: *stares at Calleigh* What are you talking about?
Calleigh: Stetler came in and talked to me about signing your suspension papers based on something about you being unprofessional. I didn't agree to anything.
Speed: *scoffs* Great.
Calleigh: What?
Speed: I'm guessing you refused to talk about your relationship with Eric so he slapped you with a way to get me fired.
Calleigh: Yes and I didn't say a
thing. He did the same thing to you, didn't he. Only you told him.
Speed: Yeah. B-
Calleigh: *laughs* Great, well I see how how loyal of a friend you are. You just couldn't wait to pull the plug on my career over something so stupid as Horatio's pick for a temporary boss. *leaves*
Speed: *covers eyes*
Africa
Horatio: Eric, please stop that.
Delko: I WANT THE HUMMERHOME BACK.
Horatio: You didn't even build anything that remotely looks like a Hummerhome.
Katie: It kind of looks like a tent though.
Lilly: Now you can built your fire, Eric.
Delko: Yeah well I'd like to see you guys make something better.
Anni: OH! IDEA! Let's all make stick things and have Horatio judge them. It'll be like a contest. Then the winner gets to pick where we go next.
Colton: Is it weird that I like that idea?
Heather: OH can we please? Can we?
Horatio: I suppose.
Delko: Wait, can I start mine over?
Horatio: *sigh* Yes Eric, you can start over.
Fifteen minutes later
Katie: I NEED MORE GLUE! I NEED MORE GLUE!
Anni: Can we use leaves? I need leaves.
Heather: RYAN! GET AWAY FROM MY TOWER OF PIZA!
Ryan: What?
Heather: Your big butt's in my way! You're ruining my masterpiece!
Ryan: So don't make something on a slant.
Heather: I'm trying to be creative and you're just being a jerk.
Ryan: Hey. I'm creative.
Heather: What the hell is that?
Ryan: I'm not finished so it's a surprise.
Heather: Is that what they call crap nowadays? 'Not finished'? I bet that's what Lindbergh said right after his blimp crashed. "It's er, not finished."
Ryan: Um mine's not going to kill anyone.
Delko: OW! OW! OW! MY EYE!
Ryan: *turns around* Oh my GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!
Delko: I wanted to see the inside of whatever it is you're making and I poked my eye with a twig! Horatio! Disqualify him!
Horatio: Eric, keep your eyes on your own piece.
Delko: I can't because now I'm BLIND.
Ryan: Oh shut up.
Two hours later
Horatio: *sigh* Are you guys finished yet?
Katie: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!
Horatio: Too bad. Voting starts right now and I don't care if you're not finished. It's too damn hot out here to wait anymore.
Ryan: Haha, I would pay him so much to hear that at a crime scene.
Horatio: Ryan, what's your design?
Ryan: ...The Lindbergh blimp.
Horatio: ...Are you serious?
Ryan: I DIDN'T HAVE ANY IDEAS!
Horatio: *sigh* Katie, what did you build?
Katie: I built a blob of sticks and glue because you wouldn't let me finish.
Horatio: *rolls eyes* Okay so Heather what did you build?
Heather: The tower of Piza. Although mine's leaning all the way on the ground because
someone knocked it over. *glares at Ryan*
Ryan: I can't help how big my butt is.
Lilly: ME NEXT ME NEXT!
Horatio: Okay go ahead Lilly.
Lilly: I built Snoopy's doghouse.
Horatio: It's very...Nice.
Lilly: Nice? I spent TWO HOURS on this. I would expect a little more encouragement than 'nice'. Shame on you.
Horatio: Eric, what did you build?
Delko: I built a raft so we can get out of this stupid continent.
Colton: Something tells me we didn't really put a lot of thought and seriousness into this.
Horatio: Agreed. Eric wins.
Delko: YES! TAKE THAT BIATCHES!
Katie: *frowns* What a bad winner.
Delko: We're going to Russia next.
Lora: YES! *hugs Eric* I could kiss you right now if it weren't for my crush on Horatio.
Delko: Aww.
Miami Lab
Stetler: *puts feet up on desk* Ah, the sound of success.
Yelina: *walks past, stops* ...Where's the staff?
Stetler: Suspension.
Yelina: ...All of them?
Stetler: Yep. I FINALLY DID IT! AND HORATIO CAN'T STOP ME BECAUSE HE'S NOT HERE!
Yelina: But...Who's going to solve the murders?
Stetler: Oh I can do that. Easy as pie.
Yelina: *crosses arms* Really.
Stetler: Mhm.
Yelina: So are you going to head out to the crime scenes and process them then come back to the lab and spend hours sorting through it?
Stetler: I can do it.
Yelina: Well I'd love to see it.
Stetler: Oh I bet you would.
Yelina: I'll pay you 30 dollars if you can get through one week.
Stetler: 30 dollars? That's a little cheap, even for you.
Yelina: Everytime you walk into the room, I get one dollar cheaper.
TBC.................