CSI:Miami Road Trip #11: We Ain't Comin' Home

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You know, I was waiting for the moment she'd deck Scott. As with everyone, I agree, everytime they get into, Lori's looking rather lunatic-y and Scott's the calm, diplomatic one(although, I have to admit, they are at a rock and a hard place, I wouldn't let Doris within a hundred feet of Steph.) but still, wouldn't it be cool , instead of him telling her what is going down, that they DISCUSS it before hand? All in all though, Steph should've never been privy to that, poor Stephie....Poor Finchs...

Amy comes in right in time, although, by the explaination of his feelings for Lori, it doesn't look as if Scott's going to dip his toe in Amy's pool. I'm glad things remain friendly between them- Scott's got someone to talk to when Lori drives him bonkers - WHICH, is just about everyday. I love how he loves his insane wife. :guffaw:

Awesome update, Geni!
Thanks so much for the reviews! :)

I get the feeling the Finch family needs a collective group hug and Eric is getting crazier. :p


Miami Crime Lab, Reception, 7pm

Tom: *signing paper*

Elevator doors open

Amy: *steps off elevator, looks at Tom*

Tom: *hands over paper*

Cop: *grabs paper* Have a good evening, Detective.

Tom: Thanks. *turns around, walks over to elevator*

Amy: *runs, presses button*

Tom: *looks at Amy*

Amy: Got off on the wrong floor.

Tom: What are you looking for? Maybe I can help.

Amy: *smiles* I was looking for um...the person in charge?

Tom: Lieutenant Caine's not here. You can reach him on his cell though, I think reception has th-

Amy: No, it's okay. It's not an emergency or anything. *steps into elevator*

Tom: *walks in*

Amy: *presses button*

Tom: *staring at door*

Amy: *extends hand* Amy Walker.

Tom: I'm not interested.

Amy: *lifts brow* ...Okay. *lowers hand*

Tom: *looks at watch*

Amy: You late for something?

Tom: Yeah, a date with my television.

Amy: Must be an exciting television. Does it do any special favours or does that come separate?

Tom: *looks at Amy* ...What did you say your name was?

Amy: *smiles* Amy Walker. *extends hand*

Tom: *grabs Amy's hand* Tom Carter. *stares at Amy's hand*

Amy: *lifts brow* Something wrong?

Tom: *blinks* No. *lets go* Nice to meet you.

Amy: *stares at Tom*

Tom: *looks at door*

Elevator doors open

Tom: *steps off*

Amy: *follows* Maybe you'd prefer a date of the human kind.

Tom: Sorry, I don't date.

Amy: Why not?

Tom: I don't enjoy paying for other people's meals.

Amy: *laughs* Okay, I'll pay for mine.

Tom: *stops* You've known me 5 minutes and you want to go out with me? For all you know, I could be some rapist serial killer.

Amy: *shrugs* My chance to take. At the very least, you'll have some company before you go on your rapist killing spree.

Tom: *narrows eyes* ...I pick the place.

Amy: Sure.

Sports bar, booth

Amy: *downs beer*

Tom: *looks at Amy*

Amy: You're not having any?

Tom: I don't drink anymore.

Amy: *smirks* Is that because of health reasons or are you just tired of doing embarassing things?

Tom: Maybe a bit of both.

Amy: I see. Well, you know there's nothing wrong with a couple beers here and there. *hands over beer*

Tom: *takes beer* I guess you're right.

Amy: So besides me, when's the last time you had a date?

Tom: A friend of mine came over to watch movies the other night but besides that, I'd say probably...a year or two ago?

Amy: ...You're not sure?

Tom: It's complicated.

Amy: Tell me about it.

Tom: Why?

Amy: I'm interested.

Tom: I don't see why my social life is so interesting.

Amy: *touches Tom's shirt* What's this scar from?

Tom: *grabs Amy's hand* Look. I don't know you so why don't you back off a little.

Amy: *lifts eyes*

Tom: *lets go*

Amy: *sits up* I'm sorry. I can be a little too forward sometimes.

Tom: I'd like to go home now. *stands, walks away*

Amy: Whoa, wait! *runs*


Amy: *pushes door* We've only been here a half hour. At least show me the decency of sticking around to the end, even if you're having a bad time. It's called being polite.

Tom: *pulls out keys, walking*

Amy: *follows* Are you at least going to give me a ride back to the crime lab so I can get my car?

Tom: Take a bus.

Amy: I don't have cash.

Tom: Plenty of streetcorners around.

Amy: *frowns, opens car door* You're driving me back to the crime lab. *gets into car, shuts door*

Tom: This is why I prefer to spend my time with inanimate objects. *opens car door*

Rain starts to pour

Inside car, road

Amy: *staring at Tom*

Tom: Stop it. *turns wheel*

Amy: I don't see why you don't date. You've got nothing to be afraid of.

Tom: Really.

Amy: Yeah. You're an attractive guy, I know there's a sense of humour down there somewhere and I'm sure you're a lot of fun to be around once you get comfortable.

Tom: *turns on radio*

Classic rock blares through the speakers

Amy: *covers ears* What are you doing!

Tom: *smiles, turns up radio*

Amy: Agh!

Tom: Much better!

Amy: *closes eye* How is this better!

Tom: *slams on gas*

Amy: *screams, grabs door*

Tom: *presses button*

Windows lower

Amy: AH! Tom! *wiping forehead* I'm getting wet!

Tom: Exactly! It's refreshing!

Amy: *looks at Tom* Are you crazy?!

Tom: *laughs* Aw come on, I thought you said I'd be fun!

Amy: This isn't funny! Unlock my window!

Miami Crime Lab, parkinglot

Tom: *turns key, leans back on seat*

Amy: *wrings out hair* I can't believe you did that.

Tom: I like rain. Not only is it refreshing but it's purifying too.

Amy: Purifying, huh. What exactly do you need purified? *squeezes corner of shirt*

Tom: I think there might be a towel in the lab if you want to dry off before going home.

Amy: No, it's fine. My hotel's not far from here. Besides, I suppose it was kind of refreshing. *smiles*

Tom: *smirks*

Amy: Thanks for indulging me. I had fun.

Tom: *nods*

Amy: Would I be too forward if I gave you an amicable peck on the cheek? Or are you going to set me on fire with the cigarette lighter?

Tom: *smiles*

Amy: *leans over, kisses Tom's cheek*

Tom: *smile fades*

Amy: *pulls back*

Tom: Wait.

Amy: *lifts eyes*

Tom: *staring at Amy*

Amy: ...What is it?

Tom: *shakes head* ...Nevermind. You should get back to your hotel.

Amy: No. You need to know why I'm here. Tom, we know each other.

Tom: Excuse me?

Amy: *reaches into pocket, pulls out ring* You gave this ring to me.

Tom: *looks down at ring*

Amy: You asked me to marry you.

Tom: *lifts eyes*

Amy: Those feelings you've been getting all night? Trust them. Maybe your brain's re-wiring itself.

Tom: Wait, hold on a second. What? What the hell are you talking about? I married you?

Amy: Not exactly. I left.

Tom: *rubs eyes* Alright, let me get this straight. We know each other.

Amy: Yes.

Tom: And you couldn't just tell me we knew each other, you had to lie to me and drag me out on this bogus date?

Amy: I didn't know how you'd react. And Scott said it was a bad ide-

Tom: You know Scott?

Amy: Um, yeah. That's how we met. Through him.

Tom: Why did you leave me?

Amy: Maybe we should just slow this down a tad.

Tom: Oh my God. *places hand on forehead* That uh, that bedroom. That child's bedroom in my house. We had a child?

Amy: Again, not exactly. Look, there's plenty of time to talk about this. I don't want to overload your head or anything.

Tom: *staring at dashboard*

Amy: Are you okay?

Tom: Would you be?

Amy: I don't know, it's never happened to me before. I remember everything. Even lisence plates I've seen in the last 10 years -- there was this one in Tampa and it st-

Tom: Amy.

Amy: Yes.

Tom: Stop.

Amy: Okay.

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*hugs Tom tightly* Poor thing. I would hate to lose certain of my memories... Although, I think forgetting about what happened to Sammy could've been good for him...

*hugs Amy too*

Great update! :D
OH awww... Poor Tom, POOR AMY...although Amy was giving as good as she was getting. I do love how forward Amy was, even when it seemed as if Tom was going to give up on the whole thing. At least, there's a starting point. Well...a stumblilng block. A BIG stumbling block. Interesting to see how this goes!

Awesome update!
Oh poor Tom ! he is gonna snap when he find out what really happened to him & Amy! i don't know if he can take it or not!

great update Geni!
Thanks so much for the reviews. :D


Hummerhome, bedroom, 1am

Anni: *looks down at hip* You ever consider getting a tattoo?

Speed: *places hand on Anni's hip* Nah, it's not really my thing.

Anni: You seem to like mine an awful lot.

Speed: *smirks*

Anni: *smiles*

Speed: *kisses Anni*

Anni: *grabs Speed's hair*

5 minutes later

Katie: HEY! *smacks top of bunk* Some people are trying to sleep! And turn off the bloody pot light!

Anni: *looks down* Wha?

Katie: Stop being kissy-kissy while I'm trying to sleep.

Speed: Yeah right, like you're actually sleeping.

Katie: *frowns, stands* Tim, get out.

Speed: No.

Katie: This is the girls' cabin.

Speed: I have every right to spend time with my wife.

Katie: Spend it outside.

Speed: Why? You'll just interrupt that too.

Katie: Tim, seriously. Horatio wants me to fill the Hummerhome's tires with air tomorrow morning and I'd like to have more than 2 minutes of sleep.

Speed: Then wear earplugs.

Katie: What about Carly and Lora? You're disturbing them too.

Anni: Lora's listening to her music in the dining room and Carly went to sleep in Calleigh and Heather's cabin. Apparently you leave your stuff everywhere and she's had it.

Katie: So? It's my side. I can fill it up with my crap as long as it doesn't seep.

Anni: Your side is my side.

Katie: We're practically the same person.

Speed: HA!

Katie: *looks at Speed*

Speed: That's a laugh and a half. *jumps down* If you don't like what we're doing, *grabs door* you can leave.

Katie: I'm not leaving my own bedroom.

Speed: It's not yours.

Katie: It's not yours either. You know what? I'm going to climb up and sit with Anni. Then you CAN'T have her. HA HA! *climbs up*

Anni: GET OFF! *pushes Katie*

Katie: AH! *falls over*

Speed: *grabs Katie*

Katie: *grabs onto Speed*

Speed: I promise you can have the entire room tomorrow.

Katie: That's because we're staying in Vegas tomorrow.

Speed: I can't wait.

Katie: The last time we were in Vegas, you asked me to marry you.

Anni: Katie, please go away.

Katie: Fine but you owe me big time.

Anni: You can have all my winnings in Vegas.

Katie: *smiles* Oooh. *walks away, shuts door*

Anni: Finally. *climbs into bed*

Speed: *jumps up*

Anni: *sighs* There. It's quiet. *lies head on Speed's chest* No babies, no Brooklyn...

Speed: *smiles*

Anni: Which means more fun time!

Speed: I like the sound of that.

Of course..the kicker for me was when Anni pushed Katie off of the bed. Is that bad of me? Ah...well, it was hilarious. Although, I must smack Anni* ALL the winnings?* Yes, Speed's worth that...but ...still....

LOL on Katie being the third wheel...:))

Excellent update!
Thanks so much for the review! :D Wee!


Dining area

Katie: Ugh. They suck. *throws piece of muffin at wall*

Carly: Huh? *looks over*

Katie: Anni and Speed. They're so ooey gooey with each other, it's sickening.

Carly: ...Weren't you and Speed all ooey gooey at one time?

Katie: *throws muffin piece* That doesn't count.

Carly: Why?

Katie: It was fun for me.

Carly: Aw. *pats Katie's head*

Katie: That's it, I'm going to flood their cabin with mustard. *opens blinds* Is that Wal-Mart still open?

Carly: We're going to do what now?

Katie: C'mon, you slept with Speed. You hate him too.

Carly: I don't hate him.

Katie: Move your ass.

Carly: But *reaches for computer* my solitaire game!

Wal-Mart Supercentre

Katie: *grabs shopping cart* Okay, let's find the mustard. *looks up* Aisle 2...4...7...15...where would it be...*taps chin*...

Carly: *stares at Katie* Are you kidding me?

Katie: What?

Carly: The mustard is on aisle 5.

Katie: *blinks* WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME! *falls to knees* I'VE BECOME OLD! Pretty soon I won't remember my own name! *grabs Carly by the shirt* CARLY, WE NEED TO FIND A CURE FOR OLD AGE, PRONTO!

Carly: I thought we were looking for mustard.

Katie: No wonder Speed hates me! I'm an old bag lady!

Carly: Anni's older than you and she looks mighty fine.

Katie: *starts to cry* I'M AN UGLY YOUNG BAG LADY!

Carly: *grabs Katie's arm* Here, mustard will cheer you up. *starts throwing mustard into cart*

Katie: It's not the same. *kicks shopping cart*

Carly: What now?

Katie: This is where Tim and I first met. *starts to cry*

Carly: Yeah and now you're going to flood his cabin with mustard, it's called poetic justice, remember?

Katie: Oh right. The bastard. *throws mustard* Promise me eternity, will you. *throws mustard* Beat my face in, will you. *throws mustard* Knock me up and then knock me out, will you. *throws mustard* Send my kids to Colombia, will you. *throws mustard* Beat me some more, will you. *throws mustard* Have kids with other women whilst still being married to yours truly, will you. *throws mustard* Abandon those kids and not pay a thing for child support, will you. *throws mustard* Divorce me and then marry Anni, w-

Carly: I thought you divorced him.

Katie: *looks at Carly* What?

Carly: You were sick of his ways.

Katie: *frowns* I don't hear you throwing mustard.

Carly: *sighs, grabs mustard*

Katie: So who's paying for all this?

Carly: I stole Horatio's credit card while he was napping.

Katie: *gasp* SHOPPING SPREE! *grabs card, runs away giggling*

Carly: *shakes head* That girl.

Cash register

Cashier: *looking at line of mustard* ...You sure you want all of this?

Katie: Yep. Double bag 'em please.

Cashier: You throwing some kind of party?

Katie: Well it won't be much of a party for the people who are going to DROWN ON IT! MWAHAHA! *gets to knees, pumps fist*

Carly: *looks at Cashier* We're getting her on medication soon.

Cashier: *nods slowly*

Outside Hummerhome

Katie: *looks in window* Okay, they're going at it. Let's start pumping the mustard into the hose. Once we get it going, we'll put the hose through the air vent.

Carly: They won't notice mustard dripping from the ceiling?

Katie: They're too busy gettin' down and dirty.

Carly: *squeezing mustard* How come you're not helping?

Katie: I'm making sure they don't see us. *looks through window*

Carly: *rolls eyes* If you want to watch, all you had to do was hide in the closet like Eric does.

Katie: *looks back* Eric hides in the closet?

Carly: He practically lives there. *smiles* No wonder Josh is always after him.

Katie: *looks through window*

Carly: They naked yet?

Katie: Nope. Tim seems to be taking his sweet time. *squints* Whoa. Where'd he learn to do that?

Carly: I could use some help here. I'm getting carpal tunnel.

Katie: Shhh! *waves hands* It's getting good!

Carly: How are you going to contain the mustard to their room?

Katie: Wow, Anni has a nice body.

Carly: Katie.

Katie: Aww that's kind of sweet what they're doing right there. Oooh Tim's been working out.

Carly: Katie!

Katie: *looks back* HUSH UP! Don't blow our cover!

Carly: Squeeze some mustard or I'm leaving.

Katie: First he abandons me, then my best friend abandons me and now YOU'RE going to abandon me?

Carly: I'm not abandoning you. I'm tired, it's late and I don't want the Hummerhome smelling like mustard. I was hoping you'd give up already.

Katie: I never give up. *looks through window*

Carly: What exactly will you accomplish by drowning them in their bed with a condiment?

Katie: Oooh nice move, Tim.

Carly: Are you even listening to me?

Katie: SHUT UP!

Inside bedroom

Anni: *lifts head* Did you hear something?

Speed: It's probably just wild animals.

Anni: That sound like Katie?

Speed: ...I really hope she's not in the closet.

Anni: *looks out window* OH MY GOD! THERE SHE IS!

Speed: *frowns*

Outside Hummerhome

Katie: Fall back, fall back. We've been spotted. *jumps down*

Carly: What?


Carly: But y-

Speed: *opens back door* What the hell are you doing?

Carly: *lifts head* Uh...huh?

Speed: You're sitting outside our window with a bucket of mustard.

Carly: *looks down* This? Noooo...this...this isn't for YOU. This...well, I got sprayed by a skunk and I thought I'd try mustard.

Speed: I don't smell anything.

Carly: IT WORKED! *runs away*

In the woods

Carly: *runs over*

Katie: Did he catch you?

Carly: *frowns, slaps Katie* I gave a stupid lie because you decided to be loud.

Katie: What did you tell him?

Carly: I said I got sprayed by a skunk.

Katie: AH! UNCLEAN! *runs deep into woods*

Carly: Katie! That's the wrong way! You're gonna get lost!

Hummerhome, 7am

Horatio: What do you mean you lost her?

Carly: She was watching Speed and Anni one minute and the next, she was heading into the woods.

Delko: Was she wearing underwear?

Everyone: *looks at Eric*

Delko: Personal experience. Briefs and socks don't mix with the hundred acre wood.

Horatio: What do you mean she was 'watching' Speed and Anni?

Speed: Uh...we might have been-

Anni: *elbows Speed* Playing Scrabble.

Horatio: Mhm. Well, we'll have to make up a search party and go get her.

Speed: Wait a second. You think she's actually lost? She's like a stray dog, she always finds her way home.

Horatio: Speed, we have to assume the worst.

Speed: Katie being gone? That's the best thing to ever happen to us.

Horatio: She's one of us.

Speed: Ryan's one of us and we keep forgetting him at gas stations.

Ryan: *lifts hand* It's true. I had to walk 705 miles to catch up with you guys last time.

Horatio: Everyone pack some gear, emergency rations and lots of water. *puts on shades* We're heading into the unknown.

Colton: ...We're in Utah.

Ryan: I've never been to Utah.

Colton: No one cares what you think, Ryan.

Ryan: *lowers head* Yes sir.

O.M.G! The return of CLASSIC RT! It had everything, a lunatic Katie...Odd ball Eric, smart ass Speed.... can you ask for anything more? Oh...and yeah, MUSTARD! LOL at Katie's master plan though...I had to admit, she was hilarious when she issued the retreat, leaving Carly to stand for her insanity...

First rule of battle, Katie... NEVER LEAVE A BODY ON THE BATTELFIELD!!! :guffaw:

Now, Katie's missing. Here's to hoping that she's not up a tree or something...LOL Now, that would be FUNNY!:lol:

Awesome update!
Holy Mary mother of god! Katie Play peeping Tom while Speed & Anni are bumpin ugleis! Lol! I could just see he tilting her head from side to side while making her little comments bout what they were ding!

Then the stupid bitch get caught and takes off leaving poor Carly holding the incrininating eveadense! (Snikers)

What was even funnier was speed The being lost like a stay dog but she will find her way back home!

Poor Ryan hes stiihas nio resec ecum\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\OmG ! I and I just got a vivade image if Hotation with hith his hands on hips , tiltingf f his .

great update Geni
Katie: C'mon, you slept with Speed. You hate him too.
I did what now? *giggle* (Yep, emotional maturity, right here) But I could never hate him...except when he's being an ass, or shooting people, or on drugs, or shooting people while on drugs, or shooting people who are on drugs...wait, what was I talking about? Oh yeah! I did what now? *snicker*

THE MUSTARD IS ON AISLE FIVE! HEE! Nostalgia FTW! Ah, classic RT. It has everything. Eric being weird, Ryan being forgotted, the poor thing, Horatio getting his stuff stolen while sleeping, mustard, Wal-Mart, Katie being weird and random:
Katie: AH! UNCLEAN! *runs deep into woods*

Ah, great stuff Geni.

Oh, almost forgot. Poor Tom. Poor Finch family. Lori is actually making sense. Doris is a loon. Scott is being surprisingly loyal considering she's a loon. And POOR TOM! :(

YAY Hummerhome adventrues. Katie is missing, I bet Speed is loving this.

Poor Ryan, always getting picked on :lol:

I wanna go on a shopping spree with Horatio's credit card too...he's got loads of money :lol:

Eric hides in the closet...:guffaw:

Delko: Personal experience. Briefs and socks don't mix with the hundred acre wood

Great visual! But I see Eric in boxers or nothing at all just socks :devil::devil:

Great update Geni! :thumbsup:
*hugs Ryan* I care what you think. ;)

Speed's reaction to Katie missing is hilarious.

Carly and Speed slept together? I missed that... :lol:

Katie and her schemes... :lol:

Great updates! :D
racefh853629 said:
Carly and Speed slept together? I missed that... :lol:

Oh yeah, he's sure been around the block. Katie, Anni, Carly, Jess, Calleigh... :lol: He was quite the manwhore back in the day.

carlz31 said:
THE MUSTARD IS ON AISLE FIVE! HEE! Nostalgia FTW! Ah, classic RT. It has everything. Eric being weird, Ryan being forgotted, the poor thing, Horatio getting his stuff stolen while sleeping, mustard, Wal-Mart, Katie being weird [...]

Hee! The insanity continues! :D

Thanks so much for the reviews, gals! :)


Utah, woods

Ryan: *lifts arm* Uh, guys! Wait up! I can't get up the hill carrying all your stuff!

Horatio: No time to be lazy, Ryan! Left, right, left right!

Ryan: *frowns* I'll never stop being a newbie to these people.

Up the line

Horatio: What does the GPS say, Speed?

Speed: *staring down* Uh...it says we're in the middle of the woods heading North East.

Horatio: Where does it say Katie is?

Speed: ...You tacked her with a GPS locator?

Horatio: All of you have one.

Speed: That's...disturbing.

Horatio: Hit that little green button.

Speed: *pushes button*

GPS starts to beep

Speed: It says the signal can't be located.

Horatio: Hmm...*places hands on hips* she must have taken out the GPS.

Speed: ...Where was it?

Horatio: I'd rather not say. But what I will say, is Eric's was the most difficult to install.

Speed: *nods slowly*

Horatio: Looks like we'll have to do this the old fashioned way.

Anni: Wait until she's dead and THEN start looking for a body?

Horatio: Let's try looking for a living person.

Delko: Guys, I don't mean to be a pain but we're getting dangerously close to that wasp nest over there.

Horatio: They're bugs, Eric.

Delko: They're DEMONS.

Calleigh: *smiles* I like bumble bees. They're so fuzzy and fat and they meander around like they're drunk, it's really very adorable.

Delko: *looks at Calleigh* These aren't bumble bees. They're LUCIFER'S MINIONS! *trips over log* AH! *bumps into tree*

Branches sway

Delko: *looks up*

Wasp nest starts to buzz louder

Delko: *screams, runs*

Wasps fly out of nest, chasing Eric


Speed: Play dead!

Anni: Jump in the mud!

Carly: Pretend you're the Queen!

Calleigh: Jump into the river!

Delko: OKAY! *jumps off cliff*

Everyone: *looks over side of cliff*

Horatio: *sigh* Great. Now we have two missing people. Speed, get the rope.

Speed: ...Why?

Horatio: You're going down to get him.

Speed: No I'm not.

Horatio: Yes you are.

Speed: I don't do heights.

Katie: You saved me from the side of a cliff, why won't you save Eric?

Speed: Because I don't like Eric. *looks at Katie* HEY! I thought you were lost!

Katie: I heard Eric screaming like a little girl and thought I'd see what all the hooplah was about. *smiles* But it's nice to hear you like me.

Speed: *frowns*

Horatio: Welcome back, Katie.

Katie: Aww look how cute everyone is, all geared up to save me. *flicks Ryan's nose*

Ryan: AH! DON'T SHIFT THE WEIGHT! *falls over into mud*

Horatio: No time for rest now, Ryan. We have to save Eric.

Ryan: *frowning*

Horatio: Let's all form a line on the rope and lower ourselves down. I'll be at the bottom, everyone follow. *grabs ropes from bag* Everyone get your straps and things on.

20 minutes later

Katie: Horatio, mine's stuck in my hair.

Horatio: You were supposed to wrap it over your chest.

Katie: It got stuck on the way down.

Speed: *grabs strap, yanks it down*

Katie: OW! *holds head*

Speed: All better.

Katie: *punches Speed in the gut*

Speed: Oof.

Horatio: Guys, let's concentrate on saving a life please. *jumps off cliff*

Katie: No no no. I'm not jumping down there.

Horatio: It's perfectly safe, Katie.

Katie: That's what they say about roller coasters, airplanes and hot air balloons but look what happens.

Speed: ...How many hot air balloon accidents have you actually seen?

Katie: You know what? Somewhere, somehow, a victim of a horrid and tragic hot air balloon accident is visibly offended.

Speed: Get down the cliff.

Katie: *frowns, gets to knees*

Colton: Ha ha! Do that often?

Katie: *punches Colton's kneecaps*

Colton: OW! I was just trying to fill the void Eric left behind!

Anni: *jumps down cliff*

Katie: *looks down* Hey, you're real good at that.

Anni: I used to go rock climbing in college.

Katie: ...I used to have anonymous sex in college.

Speed: Not really a skill you'll need to use out here.

Katie: You just wait. *climbs onto cliff* There could be a tribe of homicidal pygmy natives out here and the only way to escape is to follow their custom of anonymous sex.

Speed: Start climbing.

Katie: Okay. *climbs over cliff*

Speed: *grabs Katie's strap* Downward.

Katie: Damn. *slides down*

Speed: *jumps down*


Speed: You think you have it bad, Colton's is above mine.

Colton: Hey. I have a nice ass.

Speed: Not from where I'm hanging.

Colton: *farts* HA.

Speed: HEY! *slaps Colton* Knock it off!

Colton: That's what you get for insulting my keister.

Horatio: *looks up* Let's refrain from gasing everyone, please.

Colton: *looks down* I'm at the top, that means I'm in charge. *sways* I'VE GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS, DEEDELEEDEE!


Katie: *screams, grabs onto Speed's leg*

Anni: Colton, you're going to kill us!

Colton: Relax! We're secured! I made sure of it myself. *sways*

Latch snaps, team drops 10 feet

Katie: *screaming*

Speed: COLTON!


Speed: Re-attach the metal thing to the rock thing!

Katie: Yeah, real technical, Speed!

Speed: Shut up! I don't want to die anymore than you do!

Anni: I vote next time we let Eric die so we don't have to.

Colton: What does this thing do? *lifts latch*

Rope falls

Colton: AH!

Everyone falls, screaming

10 minutes later, bottom of ravine

Horatio: *looks down at shades* Drat. Broken again.

Carly: *wipes mud from eyes*

Speed: *rolls over* Ugh. We all still alive?

Anni: *wipes forehead, looks down at hand* Relatively.

Calleigh: Ooh a ladybug. *reaches out hand*

Katie: *crawls over* Okay, that wasn't fun. Let's not do it again.

Horatio: Has anyone seen Eric yet?

Anni: If he rolled down the cliff and into the river, he could be downstream by now.

Speed: *waves hand* Let's leave him to the bears.

Katie: I'm going to tell Brooklyn you're a wimp.

Speed: *stands* Let's go for a swim.

Horatio: Speed, sit down. Why don't we have some snacks. *looks up* Ryan! Throw down some chewy bars!

Ryan: H, you're sitting on me.

Horatio: *looks down* Oops.

Carly: You mean all of our gear is up the cliff?

Horatio: It would seem that way.

Katie: It's okay, we can eat these berries over here. *grabs berries, shoves them into mouth*

Everyone: NO!

Katie: *stares blankly* What?

Speed: Spit them out!

Katie: *spits out berries* What gives? I'm hungry.

Speed: You don't know what those are.

Katie: Berries.

Speed: They could be poisonous.

Katie: Why would the planet make poisonous berries? That's not very nice.

Speed: Leave those alone.

Katie: Alright then, master of the universe. What should we be eating?

Speed: How the hell should I know? I grew up in New York.

Anni: Let's just kill some rabbits.


Horatio: Guys, there's a McDonalds at the tourist center down there.


McDonalds, tourist center

Horatio: *taps chin* Okay...what do we want...

Katie: I'm famished.

Anni: I could eat the entire cow.

Calleigh: McDonalds isn't very healthy.

Katie: Fine, you can eat the poisonous berries. *hands over berries*

Speed: You took those?

Katie: *smiles* I'm scrap booking.

Horatio: Give me 25 quarter pounders with cheese, 15 orders of large fries and 11 sodas.

Anni: ...None of that made any sense.

Horatio: It's a starting point.


Katie: *flings fries at Speed*

Speed: *frowns* What are you, 7?

Katie: Oooh, I've gone up in age.

Speed: Stop throwing fries.


Speed: I'm not gay.

Katie: Well...Josh is and you're related to him so it still counts. HA.

Carly: So...we aren't looking for Eric?

Horatio: *waves hand* We'll start back up the search once we're fed.

Anni: What if he was mauled by wolves?

Katie: Or the pygmies got him.

Speed: Unless he's already dead.

Delko: *walks out of bathroom* Who's dead?


Horatio: Eric...you're alive.

Delko: Yeah. I saw the McDonalds down here and decided to wash up. *sits* What are we having? *grabs burger*

Katie: Lunch.

Horatio: ...Perhaps I should call Ryan back then.

Middle of the woods

Ryan: *stares down at GPS, shakes it* Coordinate, damnit!

A bear saunters past, looks at Ryan

Ryan: *lifts head* ....Uh oh.

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